You Found My Letters

Personal Blog

[thingsicouldnttalkabout]

Do you feel the same?

[thingsicouldnttalkabout]

I woke up from a dream. I woke up feeling exhausted; the muscles in my legs are in tension.

I knew at that instant that I had a nightmare. I’m getting used to it but I’ve always wish an end to this. It’s sad to wake up like this everyday; and it’s draining all my energy.

[thingsicouldnttalkabout]

©️heartandhustle

[popcorn-studies]

20 June 2021

a cafe study from a few days ago

im very happy to be able to study outside of my house again

[kafei-studies]

Sunday mornings

Follow me on Instagram! @kafei.studies

[thingsicouldnttalkabout]

I woke up from a dream. I woke up feeling exhausted; the muscles in my legs are in tension.

I knew at that instant that I had a nightmare. I’m getting used to it but I’ve always wish an end to this. It’s sad to wake up like this everyday; and it’s draining all my energy.

[thingsicouldnttalkabout]

I accepted it but why does it hurt like hell?

[thingsicouldnttalkabout]

I promised not to lose connection again. But I’m afraid I have to break that promise. So please don’t get involved. Don’t get hurt because of me.

[thingsicouldnttalkabout]

You proved that You can do all things. That you can mend broken hearts. That you can bring us all together again in this home. I remember never giving up on prayer because I believed that reconciliation is possible. I waited even though it was really heavy. I prayed everytime; I plead with You in tears. And You answered my prayer. Time flies so fast. It’s been 2 years and 6 months. Restoration of relationship was not easy but we tried our best. I realized that some things are just not meant to be and it will hurt more if we insist. So whatever the results,I will understand, I will accept. Just please assure me of one thing - that we will all live in peace.

[thingsicouldnttalkabout]

Even if it didn’t turn out the way I wanted to, I am always grateful to You for giving us the opportunity to experience what a family is like. You pulled us all together, and it was sweeter the second time around. For the first time we experienced going out of town to spend quality time together. For the first time we experienced celebrating birthdays. For the first time we experienced welcoming the New Year with food, music, gifts, and talks. For the first time, we celebrated academic accomplishments. This isn’t the first time we did all of this. But this was the first time I felt truly happy doing them.

[thingsicouldnttalkabout]

If cut off my communication to the world, will you look for me? Will you feel my absence? Will it feel like losing someone you love or once loved? Or will you just move on without me? Will you forget the person you once treasure? Will you lose me the second time around?

[thoradvice]

it's so easy to deny yourself basic things, like food and sleep, in order to punish yourself. but you deserve better. you deserve tasty foods that make you smile, to sleep in and go to bed early, to be warm and cozy. you never have to "earn" that. you deserve all of that and more just by existing. you're allowed to be kind to yourself. kindness is brave.

[soulpiece]

people hand me their secrets

the opposite of beggars

I take them and hold on to them

put them in my pocket, or bag, or car

whatever fits them

the best kept ones are mine

they're attached to my veins

all the things I should've said

all the words I said and regretted

their sharp edges cut the tissues of my heart

so I walk around, with a heavy heart

a flood of words

drowning my heart more and more everyday

[thingsicouldnttalkabout]

I told myself to ignore it and hold back the tears. But some days are just so bad I do not want to wake up anymore.

©️heartandhustle

[poetry-siir]

You don’t need your heart to stop beating, or to be three metres underground to die, you die when those heartbeats have no meaning, you die when you are still breathing and nobody notices that you are alive.

poetry-siir ©

No hace falta que deje de latir el corazón, o estar tres metros bajo tierra para morir, se muere cuando esos latidos no tienen sentido, se muere cuando aún respirando, nadie se percata que estás vivo.

poetry-siir ©

[poetry-siir]

You don’t need your heart to stop beating, or to be three metres underground to die, you die when those heartbeats have no meaning, you die when you are still breathing and nobody notices that you are alive.

poetry-siir ©

No hace falta que deje de latir el corazón, o estar tres metros bajo tierra para morir, se muere cuando esos latidos no tienen sentido, se muere cuando aún respirando, nadie se percata que estás vivo.

poetry-siir ©

[writing-prompts-re]

“There is motion at your front door” - you groggily wake up to the notification on your phone. You check the video and see yourself trying to open the door. The time stamp on it reads 2:56 am. You look at your watch. It’s 2:37 am.

[thingsicouldnttalkabout]

He must really like you a lot to return to you after 10 years. To remember you after his failed relationship. To reconnect with you and consider that maybe it's the right time for the both you. He must really like you, even after you broke his heart 10 years ago.