Things I'll Otherwise Forget @thingsillotherwiseforget - Tumblr Blog

the tax

return is done and submitted

and I'm ALLERGIC that i had to pay anything!!!

but you gotta pay your taxes right.

right.

photo by Marisa Gruneberg from performance The Great Flood with Renae Shadler - Con|Verge residency 2015

three o clock

i said i would do the tax now.

cabin fever is starting to creep in

i know I'm free to leave to have a break

but actually its the lack of contact thats starting to get to me.

theres people everywhere but I'm starting to feel disconnected now

and sad. a bit sad.

i wonder if this is how puppies in a pet shop window feel?

i think a lot

about having a studio or office space....or both

i think....if i had those i would be SO PRODUCTIVE

but sitting in this narrow window space gets me thinking about all of the nooks and crannies in this city that could be my WORKSPACE

I realise more and more

that i waste time and space

Im lucky to have a great flat in London. And my boyfriend is my landlord, so I get a great deal. thats lucky. I have two flatmates, a couple, and they also have a great deal. By London standards, obviously.

I'm lucky to live in a beautiful home.

But it doesn’t stop me from being angry and sad about the lack of space...affordable space here.

I work from home.

And theres always something to distract myself with (cleaning) in my house.

I could work harder at home.

I could use my space BETTER.

I have space, my own space. Im so lucky to have it.

the first thing i did

was get in the window at 10am.

This is a narrow space...the length of my body if i stretch out and slightly wider than my body.

its surprisingly comfortable. there are props in here to make it look like a kitchen. I’m in a play kitchen .

my plan was to do my tax. it’s 12.36 and all I am thinking about is lunch.

Thats not true. I am thinking about SO MUCH.

I meditated for the first 30 mins. I was so aware of the adrenaline in my body, and that there were people looking at me. The building vibrates with the heavy traffic on Hampstead road.

Then I dreamed and fantasised for a while. Wrote some random thoughts on post-its and stuck them on the window.

NOW its 12.40 and the street is getting busier. There are more people coming up to the window to read my post-its....an hour ago people rushed past quickly, eyeing the windows with suspicion or...was it suspicion? Suddenly I feel more like an exhibition and less like I’m just working in a space with a really big window.

I’m in PUBLIC.

A teenage boy and his mate just threw a penny at the window. I looked up and he turned away in embarrassment and laughed with his friend. He turned to me and gave me a thumbs up. I gave him a thumbs up back. But it doesn't feel like we are friends now though.

Today i’m sitting in the window of a theatre in Camden

And I’ve decided to write a blog post. In the spirit of not forgetting.

I’ve had the same piece of advice given to me a few times in the last few weeks. Stop trying to be an artist, just be one.

This is something I have always struggled with...I’ve had plenty of resistance to this concept. If I am an artist...what is my practise? What is my work?

Today I’m going to post my thoughts and musings and feelings as they come to me.

I want create a map of my own mind today

hopefully it will take me somewhere