Matt's Tumblr World

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[thinktank909]

The Great Escape

You never knew the reason why I wanted to dash out of class

You never knew I had an enemy

Enemy ready to intimidate because I was different

You thought I was weird

Until now

I have a story to tell you

The reason why I was ready to leave your class so fast

I had to avoid the intimidation

I endured before, during and after school

So, I could get to the next class

For a little bit of tranquility

For a secret that took longer to unveil

Enemies can read minds

To give the fuel to terrorize

Making the final class

For a final year

Not to remember for pleasure

I have a story that I need to share

For once generations ahead will not endure

Bolting out of class

Getting the gas to run thru the hallways

Making sure the enemy is not within

Heading for the great Escape

Avoiding the provocation

For one to have some tranquility for a year I was supposed to cherish

But the scars still subside

No mere frivolity for those buried memories

Letting those feelings pour out

So, no one else need to fear others to be who they are

Precious beings needing value

Run away, run away

So, one can be themselves one day

[thinktank909]

I am NOT smiling with Cargile

As a local activist who was a county party committee member due to running in the past for State Senate in our shared district, I wanted to make sure that my vapid Congresswoman Norma Torres (D-Pomona) had a challenger. I signed the petition for Mike Cargile to become candidate for Congress in his first run in 2020 not knowing how much of a loose cannon he is. I was one of his nomination signers during that run not knowing that he was outside the establishment where he would later gain national attention for having his endorsement yanked by the state party.

I thought it was unjust for him to have his endorsement yanked by the state party in the first place because he symbolized the base of the party. However his social media was the bane with individuals such as Jessica Patterson, the two term chair of the state party where she felt he was a liability to our statewide ticket. They were afraid of his viewpoints would be smeared to the other nominees like Jay Olbernolte and Mike Garcia. He fairly won the primary and I felt the first yanking of his endorsement was just a way to weaken him in the general election and she wanted to decrease the number of potential delegates he may earn in the year ahead.

I can agree that the state and county parties are not representative of the grassroots, but the fatal flaw of Cargile and his friends is the lack of inclusion. I noticed that when the meetings in Rancho Cucamonga were held in a church that has doctrine beliefs that were not inclusive to non-straight people, which was a sign that perhaps I was wasting my time associating with Cargile and his friends even before his diatribe before the second time his endorsement got yanked. I defended him the first time, but I was about to defend him a second time until he wrote his diatribe before the hearing to yank his endorsement, using the party’s first transgender delegate Regina Roberts of San Diego County as a wedge issue saying that transgenderism is a perversion of truth, yes you can disagree with leftist LGBT people like the health official in the Surgeon Generals office Rachel Levine, but Regina believes in many issues that most Republicans could agree and support on such as the second amendment.

Not all of us in the LGBT community agree that smutty graphic novels belong in our public K-12 school libraries or public libraries in the children or teenager department. Not all of us in the LGBT community agree that teenage girls should get their breasts lobbed off at the age of 15. Not all LGBT people believe that we should let kids see drag performers do sexually explicit content no matter if it’s a monologue or a dance routine. Painting people like Regina Roberts in a broad brush is very irresponsible.

Mike wants to run for Congress for a third round, but before that could happen he wants to run for State Party chair. The job pays a decent wage and I can agree that he can motivate the Republican voters better. However the problem I see, is he wants to shoe horn the political culture of Oklahoma and Idaho into California. I agree that there are systematic failures in the California Republican Party. We have done a horrible job in statewide elections since 2006, we have done a horrible job in voter registration, a horrible job in getting candidates elected into the state legislature and a horrible job in places such as San Diego County where NO Republican is representing the San Diego city council, the majority of the Board of Supervisors has been lost since 2018.

I am worried that if Cargile had a prayer of winning, that he would want to get rid of the Log Cabin Republicans charter, the platform plank I helped put in with Reagan’s son-in-law will be yanked and all the clauses with animus to LGBT people will return. Cargile and his friends will basically tell someone like me that they are not wanted in the party, but political parties are operated like an orchestra where its not just one element that drives its success. I seriously do believe in the mantra that “Inclusion Wins”, if we want to reach out to young and highly educated voters in places such as CD-27, CD-41, CD-47 and CD-49 we have to bring the inclusion of Jessica Patterson and the reformer attitude of Mike Cargile.

Unfortunately, you cannot separate the best elements from both leading candidates for Chairman in the election in March 2023. We must choose Rob Bernowsky our 2022 Secretary of State nominee for chairman. Sadly, the California Republican Party is a trainwreck and the casting office should have delivered us someone more worthy to be elected chair of the state party like Harmeet Dillon.

[thinktank909]

Resolution for Zeldin

Whereas; the San Bernardino County Republican Party is concerned about the national direction of our party,

Whereas, party activists, donors and members are tired of us losing the US Senate for two straight elections,

Whereas, the county party would encourage our three RNC committee members from California, Harmeet, Shawn, and Jessica to vote for Lee Zeldin of New York for Chairman of our national party,

Whereas, Lee Zeldin is a former congressman and 2022 NY State Gubernatorial nominee who led his state party to success for congress,

Whereas, the county party recognizes that Lee can unite both the establishment and the grassroots towards better success for us in 2023 and beyond from National to County party leadership,

Resolved, that the county party voted on the recommendation that Lee Zeldin should be our national party chairman and our three voting members should make a vote for him during the next RNC organizational meeting.

[thinktank909]

You are not my fan

Inspired by Hazell Dean, the high priestess of hi-nrg who does not like that gay conservatives like her.

How come you have the audacity to think unlike me

You are a hater

Why do you like my singing, why do you like my songs

When you do not turn it into love

You are not my fan

I blocked you on social media because you do not play for the same political team

I don’t care if you never buy any more of my albums or click on to any songs to stream

You are not my fan

I tune your comments out so I can live my life without a different point of view

I guess I am better out without your patronage

I could care less if you boycott my tunes

You are not my fan

Are you a traitor?

When you do not turn it into love

You are not my fan, I fired you

This is my life and I choose to live it that way

We do not belong because you are not from my tribe

In the name of love, I chose to block you because I want to preserve my utopia

Maybe we should call it a day, I am almost seventy and I am basically washed out

You are not my fan

I could care less if you boycott my tunes

We do not belong even if we like the same beats

Ideology trumps it all

I close my eyes, and could care less

You are not my fan

[thinktank909]

The World Gone Mad

The World Gone Mad

There is trouble with the fundamentalists and the leftists

There is nowhere to turn

Bankrupt ideologies causing pain in society

The world has gone mad

Cannot go far to the left

Neither go far to the right

Logic does not see the benefits of either position

There is nowhere to hide

Friends turning into enemies

Maybe I did not realize their real intentions

There is no viable alternative

Cannot go far to the left

Neither go far to the right

The division bell has rung

The world gone mad

The subjugation of a pocketbook

The subjugation of a humanity

The subjugation of a people

Liberties lost no matter what direction we take

The world gone mad

I cannot vote for either clown

The ballot makes me sick

A longtime passion becomes a new illness

I do not want to be subjugated

I want my stability

I want my humanity

I want reality

The world gone mad

Religious leaders and Karl Marx dividing the people

Cannot go far to the left

Neither go far to the right

The division bell has rung

The world gone mad

Freedom of expression

Freedom of love

Freedom of individuality

What comes to a cost

For trying to be authentic

We are individuals with no exact consistency

We have diverse thoughts and dreams

I wish politics did not make me sick

I wish my longtime passions were not a waste

I want stability

I want humanity

I want reality

So, the world is no longer mad

[thinktank909]

A Stranger in a Strange Land

I feel like an outsider again. I ended up not getting involved in the Republican Party from 2004-2008 when the party went on the homophobia kick. The devoutly conservative still harbors deep prejudices that I thought were mostly eradicated. I'm neither a Democrat nor a Progressive, so it makes political association hard.

I gave the party a chance from 2013-2022, but I think it might be time to just be independent leaning even if I do keep my partisan affiliation. Many on the right don't understand that there is a subculture of people who are not straight or even cisgender who feel that the LGBT lobby is going too far off the mainstream.

I am not a corporatist and I do not eagerly or desire to kiss people's egos for affirmation. I don't find either major avenue for political involvement in a state, county or independent activist context promising currently.

I have no intention of voting for Susan Rubio, Norma Torres or Gavin Newsom. However, I don't think the party is reflective of my personal values.

[thinktank909]

California Republican Party Needs Structural Reforms

The grassroots and reformers are fed up with the dog and pony show attitudes that happen from to the California Republican Party all the way down to individual county parties in our state. Our state party should be hands off when it comes to candidate recruitment unless there is a criminal record or documented fiscal issues above a certain amount of money. County parties should not yank nominees out of county parties just because they do not agree with the leadership of the organizations either.

I am not satisfied with us only having 1/4th of the State Assembly and 1/8th of the State Senate and our consultant class who controls our party should be ashamed by this as well. We are slowly becoming the bigger version of the Hawaiian Republican Party. The petty games played by the county and state parties make registered Republicans either want to move out of California or become Decline to State with no party preference.  Consultants should be happier when there are more potential winning campaigns of all flavors of Republicans instead of squashing people such as Greg Raths in 2020 who ran against Katie Porter. College Republicans and hard-core activists would be happier when there are more staffer jobs when more Republicans are elected to office from the county to the federal level. Jessica Patterson and her staff should be more worried about fighting Democrats than becoming the purity police.

The first goal is to make state endorsements opt-in. If a registered Republican does not want to be endorsed by the state party, they should indicate this on a signed letter mailed to the state party office a week before the primary election. I am also fearful if I do become a nominee in this current leadership of the state party, they will want to squash myself as well by doing “Indian giver” actions by yanking an endorsement. Removal of endorsements has been a current passion of the Patterson administration that needs to be nipped in the bud.

Second goal is we need to have disclosure because a particular candidate is being yanked. It was a good thing that I argued for disclosure of when candidates are getting their endorsements pulled instead of having it done at the dead of night as what happened in 2020. Now in 2023, the delegates need to argue for reform measures where the exact reason a candidate is getting their endorsement pulled. Earlier this year I thought the candidate for the 52nd Assembly District Gia D’Amato was being yanked for political reasons, but it was really because she knew she did not want to play in the establishment dog and pony show and wanted to be independent from the state party. If there are articles from places that make a candidate unsuitable, then the documentation should be provided to delegates so they can make up their own minds such as what happened with county party and state party leaders being fearful of the leftist group Media Matters for America was about to say about Mike Cargile in Congressional District 35 in 2020.

Third goal is county parties should be banned from manipulating their bylaws in violation of the current Elections Code of our state with section 7404 violated. Los Angeles County did this in 2021 to illegally yank myself and Kathleen Hazelton even though we represented districts that included Los Angeles County. This was an insult to the voters who voted for us in Los Angeles County. But the people in “New Minority” the donor group that funds its operations, executive director Julie Haff and chair Richard Sherman are just fearful of them losing control during organizational meetings where the declining party is still declining. Now people such as Toni Holle and Assemblyman Thurston Smith will be blocked from having a seat in Los Angeles County Republican Party for the next term that started in August of this year. I am hoping that county parties will be blocked from doing this practice statewide, if they want to do this, they should have had a Republican state legislator to modify the elections code to make the carpets match the drapes so it would be ethical and lawful.

Fourth goal is we need to bring the party back to the people, the grassroots. We need elected delegates not just the people appointed from county parties, Republican clubs and nominees for state and federal office. Each assembly district should have elected delegates to serve a 4-year term. We should also use an external company to process the votes so we can reduce corruption and make things done correctly. Engaging the activists leads to helping to promote interest in the party ideas and vision. This could also be a partial fundraiser. People can pay $5 to attend the gathering and it could cost $40 to file to run for delegate and winners would get the filing fee applied to the dues required.

We should be going after Democrats and not continue the practice of being our own enemies. The practices from the county parties all the way up to the state party reinforce the stereotype that the California Republican Party is merely the equivalent of the Washington Generals making it easier for legislators such as Senator Wiener ram his legislation thru with no opposition. I also made a wisecrack that if I won that huge Powerball jackpot, I’d try to buy the California Republican Party, but indeed you can’t own the party, but you want to build a machine to make it a party for the activists and not the consultants. Get the marginal districts to 35% plus so we can increase our voice in 2023.

California is a diverse state and party members must work together. We have diverse backgrounds and experiences and we as Republicans must learn to share the party despite our varied priorities. We need to stop stepping on optics land mines that make progressives jump with glee when we become divided. No matter our background, a state governed by today’s Democratic Party establishment is not the answer. Our children are not learning, and our streets are becoming more dangerous while people cannot afford to live here to raise their families and work. When we fight against each other when we should be campaigning that is the biggest crime right now.

[thinktank909]

Not Going To Change

Not Going To Change

Life would be easier if I was part of the majority But I would rather keep myself real Life would be easier if I set myself to be submissive to the majority However, I do not see any morality to appease the majority I am not going to change for you Life is not going to change if I change for you today I am not going to change because I would rather be authentic for who I am It is not a matter of life or death that I join up for one team for another I see the same in fundamentalism as progressives proclaim their righteousness I just do not want to be part of the dog and pony show of political discourse I would rather stay the course in who I am Not going to change because I would rather keep myself real However, I do not see any morality to appease the majority Even if it means it’s harder to find a lover I would rather be authentic to keep my integrity I am not going to change for you today Integrity means authenticity in my positions of opinion I do not see how I can adapt to your positions It would be like forcing a vegan to eat some meat Not going to change to gain your affirmation because I could care anymore less I would rather keep myself real I would rather stay the course in who I am No need to have repetitive therapy to correct my defects in political discourse I am happy and proud for who I am

[thinktank909]

Hard Right Tactics Are Bad for the California Electorate

Hard Right Tactics Are Bad for the California Electorate

I rarely agree with my state Republican Party chair, Jessica Patterson with the decisions she makes for the state party. However, for 2022 Mike Cargile, candidate for the 35th Congressional District is not ready for prime time. I helped create the monster in 2020 because my party failed to recruit a candidate. I signed his petition and defended him from the Media Matters for America led assault against his campaign.

Removals of endorsements was not a mainstream practice in the California Republican Party until Jessica became leader of the state Republicans and I thought the process was being abused because I thought Jessica wanted to depress the delegate totals our candidates get awarded. One of the state board of directors told me that he did not receive the exact information that made him unworthy of being endorsed. However, Mike Cargile wrote an email that showed off the fringe the candidate is, which did not help this former champion of him to defend him this time. He was saying because our party was being inclusive to people such as Gina Roberts, a transgender delegate from San Diego County that our party lost its way despite the individual being a strong advocate for a good amount of our party’s beliefs.

If Mike read information from the Log Cabin Republicans, a good number of us in the LGBT and straight ally community do not believe people who were born male have business in female sporting competitions and if you have full male parts, you have no business in a female locker room or be jailed with women. But Mike absurdly throws Gina Roberts into the pool thinking that Gina is insane like Rachel Levine, a transgender leftist that Biden recently promoted.

The establishment tried to primary Cargile out in the recent primaries we had in California, but the other leading choice Rafael Carcamo was very underwhelming where his enunciation was deeply lacking, and his social media presence was very disappointing. The main theme is Cargile says he is “the Family Man”, so he wants to articulate for traditional values that a good number in the Republican base values. However, one can be traditionalist while realizing we should not go on a jihad because a state party delegate may not be from a mainstream demographic group. I never saw politicians such as former Sen. Mike Morrell acting like how Cargile behaved despite Morrell having similar beliefs.

Gina Roberts belongs in the party just as much as Mike Cargile. We are a symphony in a very Democratic Party leaning state. We need all of us together to fight politicians such as Gavin Newsom, Norma Torres, and Scott Wiener. We have bigger issues to deal with, Democrats and pro-abortion activists are thinking abortion rights with no restrictions is their wild card, but bashing transgender people is far from the list on critical issues for families in Chino, Eastvale, Fontana and Pomona. Gasoline is still near five dollars; eggs are approaching five dollars a dozen and life is becoming more expensive no matter your demographic group.

We need to work on issues that unite people. The more we fight our own party, the more Norma Torres will succeed just as well as her past elections for US Congress. We are a team despite our differences despite our religious beliefs, ethnic groups or even as part of the LGBT community. The party is mine just as much as its Gina’s or Mike Cargile’s. Telling people to get lost is not going to help in winning elections. Elections are about addition to a coalition. There is common ground the values community such as Pastor Jack Hibbs and Mike Cargile can have with myself and Gina Roberts, but the Overton Window has changed for California, and we must work together for us to change the path California and the nation is in.

[thinktank909]

Video Game Backlog

My ongoing video game backlog will be updated.

PS4:

Final Fantasy X/X-2 Remaster

Final Fantasy XV Royal Edition

God of War

Nier Automata Game of the Year Edition

Persona 5 Strikers

Persona 5 Royal

Tales of Berseria

[thinktank909]

The Elections Code is not the Elections Suggestions

The Elections Code is not the Elections Suggestions

As someone involved in the San Bernardino and Los Angeles County Republican Parties by virtue of being the party’s nominee in three previous elections (2002, 2014 and 2018) I have a major complaint about county political parties such as the Los Angeles County Republican Party not taking the state elections code seriously and merely treating it as President Biden initially dealing with Vladimir Putin.

The elections code has no legal teeth when it comes to county party political organizations. County parties can systematically discard ex-officio nominees and its leaders can endorse non-Republicans in contested elections with Republicans running in them when we are supposed to be the Republican Party not the Lincoln Club (a group of Republican leaning business owners and allies). There needs to be an enforcement provision where if the county chairman endorses a Democratic Party member for county supervisor instead of a Republican or being neutral, the offender would have to donate 100 dollars to one of the California State Tax Contribution Funds.  If a county party illegally denies membership to their party, then the county party would be liable for each offense with a cost of 100 dollars to start and add up another 100 until it hits 1000 dollars, and the county party would have to also pay money to charity as a punishment.

First offense is section 7404, Los Angeles County Republican Party decided to discard this part of the elections code and put Democratic Party of Los Angeles County language only limiting ex-officio membership to Los Angeles County nominees, throwing out both myself and Kathleen Hazelton illegally. They were fed up with people asking critical questions about party operations and wanted the meetings to be more like a pep rally. Traditionally if Tom Lackey is the nominee, he gets a seat in Los Angeles and San Bernardino Counties, and it should also be the same for Kathleen Hazelton as well.

Elections code 7413 is also a big problem as well, even though county supervisor races are not partisan races, these races are just as partisan as state legislative and congressional races. We have had former San Bernardino County chairman Curt Hagman endorse James Ramos, a registered Democrat for County Supervisor in 2012 and 2016 when we had Republicans running. In Los Angeles County Richard Sherman the current chairman decided to endorse Bob Hertzberg over two qualified Republicans running for Board of Supervisors in the third district. I thought we are there to elect Republicans. However, county leadership rarely takes offense when general members violate 7413. We had Republicans such as Mayor Warren in Fontana endorse Cheryl Brown over a Republican running in the primary. If county parties fail to remove a member off a committee for a severe lapse of judgement, there should be ways that party members could get some recompense so the elections code would have teeth and not merely suggestions in how to operate a county party.

There also needs to be a provision for transparency of operations when it comes to member discipline. If people are booted off a committee there should be a certified letter mailed to the member being booted. There should be due process as usual when it comes to running membership of an organization to make sure people are not being railroaded out.

When we as Republicans treat our members fairly and work to elect Republicans instead of the least toxic Democratic Party politicians, perhaps the small donors of our party will come back to the party and work towards our shared goals together.

[thinktank909]

Life is Hard

Life is never easy

Even if you peek behind the façade

You will discover the struggles and challenges involved 

Oh, the hurdles that we face

Navigating the challenges that we endure

It does not matter what demographic we are

Humanity is never easy

Oh, the hurdles that we endure

I sometimes feel like I failed

Dreams not confirmed

I just feel like I am starting over

I just want to believe in hope

I just want to realize that I want to become the man I want to be

Oh, the hurdles that we face

Life is hard

Realizing that I had an extra hurdle to be complete

Processing the facts that make me understand my struggles

Learning that I think differently and facing the truth

Truth does hurt

I just feel like starting over

I just want to believe in hope

To become the man, I want to be

It does not mean I am damaged

It just takes some self-realization

I need to let my guard down

I need to navigate the world better

I need to process the reality better

It feels like starting over to make a better future

Time to bathe in the light

To make things right

For a better self-worth

[thinktank909]

The Want to Be Real

The Want to Be Real

I want to be authentic

I want to be who I am

I want to show the real me

However, following social norms

Can be the hardest place for me

I want to be authentic

I want to be real

I want to show the real me

I would like cohesion

I would like to have some understanding

Of the limitations of communication

Being solitary is not the answer

Recognizing the limits

Is the key to a relationship

Plutonic, romantic, or part of a team

Is the answer to understanding

I want community

But I want to be positive

For a bit of cohesion

I can not run away from my problems

I need to engage

If I do not have answers

I need to discover what is inside

[thinktank909]

Everyone Deserves Their Own Love Story

Everyone Deserves Their Own Love Story

It does not matter who you are We crave a connection Between a special person For our special time It does not matter if it is several months to thirty years The memories are inside For the people we share today and tomorrow-

It does not matter if you are crazy in love or just beginning There is a time and a place involved As long as you have the drive and the time

Because everyone deserves a love story of their own For a connection with another is a part of humanity

For one to put themselves on the market If one does not participate there is no chance to reciprocate

Will it take a poem Good looks or some gravitas For our story to begin? A home run may not be automatic

However let us not be erratic For one needs to show their true selves.

Make some memories For the players on the stage Because you deserve your story

[thinktank909]

This Strange Journey

This Strange Journey 10/18/00

Alone in the crowd barely a teenager knowing he is different Finding it hard to make friends at the school Not knowing where he will find hope A sweet smile and a recollection will give me the drive to live In his far away heart he will find the tide to surf

Keeping what makes his personality hidden deep inside A mixture between yin and yang in soul He is afraid to proclaim who he is   The boy in the physics class Reminds me of hope and a misty vision Walking along the escalator watching him making bread Sweetness is shown in a divine package School was special knowing that he was my crush

Ever since I was a teenager I thought I was not part of the crowd How would I comfort the illusion of normality? Would I of done what I did if I knew with some speculation Being caught up with society gives me a struggle It took me time to bring me self up Not knowing when I will not be confused Not knowing when I will find hope

How would I comfort the illusion of philosophy? Would I be the same as four years ago? Would I know my fate would have been different than time before A different point of view

I came out to my father knowing that things would be different I just could not keep my secret inside I knew something was eating me alive I needed some warmth; I needed hope knowing that I will find someone to love A new beginning to accept my reality

One day things will be better No need of being harassed Screaming where will I rather be? It's happening again that I've had this crush Feelings kept inside Kept on eating me alive Eating me alive

As I look from the past year I have noticed oh sister and father I wish I could realize reality much earlier Oh sweet boy making bread I wish I could see your eyes again Tomorrow On the broadband I wish you could answer my email

[thinktank909]

A Series

A Series

same story different portrayal that is the way life is being played I am just here as an actor in the world of life we each have different roles we each have different scripts I am just here to play my part we are not only different but we always dream about being the same

do I need to change myself to give my friends and relations pleasure? do I need to give myself the control I need? do I need to ask myself to make myself believe about the real me playing a part in the series of life

a dry life is a life that never should be left to be led some have to have to be different shades some have to have variance some have to eat different food variation leaves nothing to be the same

I am just the actor in the theater I am just screaming why I cant be like you or maybe you wonder why you should be like me shall I ask? or shall I wonder pain and anguish leaves the psyche in the series

10-6-99 by Munson

[thinktank909]

Label Me Not

Enough of the categorization of the human condition

Newspapers, magazines, broadcasters, people on the street love to label us

Why cant we be the Joe blow on the street?

Label me not, I choose not to be categorized

Label me not, label me this I am none of the above

They ask me what type of politics I have

They ask me if I support a particular sports team

They ask me whom I would rather sleep with

I am tired of this,

Ask me not

Label me not, I choose not to say anything

Anonymous is where I would like to remain

Label me not, I choose not to be remembered this way

Labels change the perception of how we view people

Why cannot we let things be this way?

Curious people just want to know

Wait a little longer so I will not label you