Happiness... someday?
My entire life, Iāve always strived for happiness. Pure, innocent, and wonderful happiness. Given, I didnāt have the family that I would have liked to have, Iāve always been known to make the best of every situation and I definitely take pride in such a characteristic I carry. Day by day, I have the normal stresses of life with work, laundry, dishes, dinner, and chasing this hell raising 2 year old I call a son. I find myself yelling at my son more times than I should during the day and sometimes itās because of my stress inside rather than the things that heās doing wrong. I absolutely believe that your kid is a direct reflection of you so I end up putting much more pressure on myself to have a kid that minds like an angel. I have to keep telling myself that this is all part of the process. Every struggle and difficulty that I face, is going to lead me to the most amazing happiness that Iāve ever felt. Things arenāt going to be perfect in 5,10, 15 years but they will, without a doubt in my mind be better. I will always pursue better, because good simply isnāt good enough for me. Iām struggling finding my small glimpse of happiness during the days, other than nap time. It takes a constant reminder and a continued hope. Things will get better. Things are getting better. I tell myself that to stay out of the sad pity party slope I tend to fall in from time to time. Itās much to easy to fall into such a dreadful mood. So I plan to do everything I can to stay away from it as much as possible. Fingers crossed, here.Ā
