The harm impulsives have started looking like wanting to throw myself into mindless hookups (I would be miserable I'm demi)
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@thinspoallday
The harm impulsives have started looking like wanting to throw myself into mindless hookups (I would be miserable I'm demi)
Finally feeling wanted and losing that might be worse than never being wanted in the first place
i dont know how to ask for help without feeling like a burden
I’m sorry for all the times my mental health made me a bad friend
Call me manipulative, but I want someone to reach their hand out to me when I start to walk away.
I want to feel like I'm worth running after. I want to feel like I'm wanted.
i hate that kind of sadness where your chest physically hurts
the “i wanna go home” never leaves my head even when i’m physically sitting in my bed
the devil couldn’t reach me so he made me feel like i dont belong anywhere.
SHORT PSA (TW: SH, SUI)
Many get these mixed up. Su1c1de, and Se1f H4rm. "Se1f H4rm is used to try and manage distress. Whereas, su1c1de attempts to stop distress." There is a huge difference between these two Nevertheless, neither are easy to deal with, or less important than the other. Many people who struggle with NSSIB (non-su1cidal self injurious behavior) choose this over su1c1de due to: 1: The desire to live (or fear of death and what comes after) 2:Communication (some hide their scars, while some show them to try and indicate what they are feeling, because of how hard it is to put into words) 3: Coping mechanism (No matter how bad it may be, the individual may be looking for a sense of control) People struggling with su1c1de ideations may: 1: Want the pain to stop, and are not able to see the road ahead, like something is blocking the view 2: Not know a way to communicate 3: Are stuck in the moment, and feel as if it'll never get better and they have no hope Please understand that, if someone you know is struggling with this, it can be difficult for them if you don't approach it correctly. It's important to deal with the situation at hand calmly, and let them know that you are there for them. Source of quote: Psych2Go
Ridiculously long post of depression tips
In the words from some of my favorite books, people and games:
"Road to recovery is a long one, but you will make it." - Volition from Disco Elysium
"Be selfish. Be brave." - Babel
"You can and you will make it." - Someone I know
This will be a ridiculously long post as I'm trying to put everything I know/have learnt over the years on it, so might break it into parts if need be. I'm not a doctor, but fellow survivor and this is what I've found useful. Take what you need from the post. WE GOT THIS!
Basic self care
Crucial. Important. In some cases, life or death.
I will include the obvious tips and some random specific ones.
Sleep
It literally heals your mind when got right. Some things to make it happen:
Go to bed and wake up at the same time. Even if insomnia keeps you awake, stay consistent with the bed times.
Give yourself ridiculous amount of time for the rest. When I'm bad and in recovery, I start prepping for sleep at 8pm. People will not mind, they might be a bit surprised at first, but it's not really their business.
Be firm with yourself about technology before bed. I strive for putting my mobile off for the night, and only look at it AFTER I've had my morning coffee.
Really long walk and some kind of sleepy tea of your choice is an EXCELLENT combo for good rest.
Sleep is also tied to other basic self care, so you need to be doing all of it - but good news, more you do the easier it gets because you get better.
If you fuck up any of these points - say, stay until 3pm on your phone looking at memes - don't beat yourself up (even if that's the natural thing you'll want to do when you're suffering from depression), but don't give in either, thinking that letting yourself KEEP doing this is self care and being merciful on yourself. No. If you fuck up, it is okay and human, but KEEP AT IT. Think of all the process you've made so far despite the fuck up. Keep going. Don't let yourself get discouraged by one or few fuck ups, but make it a top priority to get back on track. You will make it. You deserve a good life and sleep will definitely help.
Food
Making food while depressed is exhausting. You need to choose the ingredients, buy them, then make the food. And your depression might tell you lies, such as what's the point and I don't deserve to eat well. But they are lies! You do deserve it. It is important to do this right to not get into financial ruin, and keep a healthy diet. This is tricky, but you can get there. Some tips:
When you're doing a little better, prepare a LOT of food, and then freeze a lot of it. Little gift for the future self who is struggling.
Keep a lot of easy good snacks around. Include fruit. Eat when hungry.
Speaking of fruit, have some at the house and eat often.
Include protein in your food. However, if you really are struggling and there's nothing but pasta in the house and you're starving, eat the damn pasta.
Accumulate a lot of simple recipes you can make quickly. Tomato pasta with some protein is a good one, especially with some Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese.
Making food can be helpful for depression, although when the worst is on it's very hard. But if you're a little better, it can even be therapeutic to focus on it. Try making something that takes a while, like pizza.
When you're getting even more better ('cause you will!) offering food to others is good for mental health for secret reasons. But if the thought exhausts you as you read this don't worry about this for now.
If you excercise, horde some protein snacks you can eat immediately.
Congratulate yourself for keeping up with this, and every time you've gone through the day with a good healthy diet. It is not easy.
Similarly to sleep, if you stray off course, know this is natural, change is hard, don't beat yourself up, but get back on track. I believe in you.
Exercise
Did someone say "extra fries"? Boomer minion memes aside, this is another really really good thing to do. Get this: You can literally force your body to create endorphins, even when you're mind is in the mud. It also helps with both appetite and sleep, and self-esteem. It also can help you find an outlet, and it helps focus yourself on the present. And it is such a concrete way of fighting an illness which feels so not-concrete. Some tips:
Make plans with people or find a workout buddy. The peer pressure is an excellent way to motivate yourself even if your mind makes bullshit excuses. It may feel intimidating to ask someone but I promise a lot of people want to get into working out but find it hard to motivate themselves too, so you really are also helping them at the same time too. Societies or groups are also good, as long as you go each time.
Think of working out as a fight against your depression. Because it is. Think of your depression being this big Dark Souls boss fight. (gif below for anyone not familiar.) You are struggling, but you are fighting against it, and you're a survivor, and you're badass af for keeping on fighting.
BTW above gif: that's you drinking some estus flask (water) before you tackle again the task of fighting your depression by working out because that is how badass you are.
Do the workout, no matter what your mind tells you.
The kind of workout that raises heart rate is really good.
Long walks are also REALLY good. I don't know what it is about them, but they are magical. You might find cats on the street or cool birds too.
Yoga is also good. The YouTube channel Yoga by Adriene is very good, she's so gentle.
Remember that after any kind of work out congratulate yourself and remember you are a fighter and you've just taken even more steps to battle against this thing, it's not easy and you've done it and you should be beyond proud.
That's it for this post but I will reblog this with more tips in the future so stay tuned folks. I will cover at least things like people, hobbies, therapy, values and goals and staying organized, but I'll add more if I think more.
I've struggled with this for a long time but I can and will make it towards being better and so will you.
I almost relapsed today.
I just needed someone to know that
It finally clicked in my brain, that the reason you don't treat me like you treat others in your life, is because you love the others in your life. You love having them in your life. I've simply become the obligation you can't untangle yourself from.
sh looks like ..
cutting
burning
hitting yourself
but it also looks like ..
unsafe sex
drug abuse
alcohol abuse
unsafe driving
starting arguments
accepting abuse
purposely isolating
self deprecation
and more.