Is there any news for an update of TGR?? We’ve been in suspense for half a year now
Alright. I knew this was coming eventually. And honestly I've been dreading the moment someone lost patience. Because I really meant it when I said that I write slow. I know you all got used to a steady schedule for so long, and honestly it was a miracle that I was able to keep up such a consistent pace last year.
Listen, first off I want to make it exceedingly clear that TGR is not and will not be abandoned. I am still working on it, when I can. And a lot of this is probably gonna sound like excuses to some of you, but it just is what it is.
I have been dealing with a pretty bad depressive episode over the past several months. My grandfather's passing and the subsequent dealing with my relatives did a real number on my mental health, more than I initially realized. My first instinct with stuff like that is to try to push through it and ignore it, but I am trying to do better and be gentler with myself. So I took some time off.
I also have been dealing with a (relatively minor) harassment/stalking situation in the background, which started close to the same time and has definitely contributed to the mental low. And more recently some IRL responsibilities have cropped up that, for legal reasons, I have to prioritize getting taken care of. Thankfully the urgency of these responsibilities has actually been really good for my motivation and helping pull me out of the rut, but the fact remains that it keeps me very occupied. I honestly haven't even had much time or mental space for reading fic lately, let alone writing.
Now as far as TGR goes, the next chapter is actually about half done already! The reason why I haven't really been sharing much of it, tho, is a surprisingly technical one. There's a LOT of dialogue in this chapter, as you might imagine. And sometimes, when I get really stuck or bogged down while writing dialogue scenes, especially emotionally heavy ones, I will opt to skip over all the narrative prose and dialogue tags and write just the dialogue so I can get a proper flow to it without being constantly interrupted by trying to figure out what the action is or how to describe things. And that's what has happened with this chapter, and what I am primarily working with at the moment. Unfortunately that means that the vast majority of what I have written is not in a fit state to be shared, as I try to share snippets that I am particularly pleased with and are not likely to change much if at all in editing.
So that's why there hasn't been much for updates on TGR right now, or why you haven't heard from me much at all here. On top of the being busy/depressed/cautious, I've also just kinda been terrified and shamed about the fact that I have nothing to show. Like I said, I knew this question was coming, I just also knew it would probably have happened sooner (and maybe far less politely?) if I was still actively posting here regularly about stuff that wasn't TGR, if that makes sense. I dunno, felt like I've set up expectations about how I post and interact and that I would be furthering people's disappointment by visibly failing to meet them.
Anyway, yeah. Long story short, I'm sorry for making you guys wait. It was never my intention to do so. But I'm gonna have to ask you to wait a little bit longer. I'm trying. But I'm also trying not to be too hard on myself over a hobby, you know?
