Tim : you guys know how criminals and villain’s like to say that ONE mediocre line when they think that they REALLY have you RIGHT where they want you ??
Tim : *mockingly villainous voice* “Any last words ? ”
Stephanie : oh yeeeah…*cracking open a beer with Jay* that line’s the fuckin’ worst
Jason : not to mention the cheesiest. like, that shit’s so cheesy, rat’s come squeakin’ from miles around at the very turn of phrase
Tim : the even worse part is that at some point when we first started vigilante work, we kinda freaked out the first time we heard those words though
Dick : *sips on his soda* sure, I guess…
Stephanie : but after the next couple’a times of hearin’ that same old shit being repeated and not dying afterwards ? I myself just learned to get annoyed as fuck and kick ass harder
Tim : okay. but let me ask you this; have any of you ever responded when being asked if you had any last words ???
Stephanie : sure thing ! 4 days ago, I said; “ I’m a god damned sucker for black hair and cheekbones higher then The Wall Of China, you got a twin ? Preferably female and pretty much NOT a fucking murderer maybe ? “
Jason : ahhhh !! why the hell am I not surprised by that
Stephanie : *turns to Dick* what’s the dumbest shit that you’ve told a criminal who asked if you had any last words ?
Dick : “Don’t let me die a virgin.”
Tim : *laughing* …oh my god
Stephanie : don’t tell me… .
Dick : yup. the jackass started unbuttoning his belt, just a tad bit too excited; but in that moment he was perfectly distracted enough for me to give him a good kick in the face, disarm him, and get him on the ground
Jason : ooooooh, bet he liked the rough treatment, eh ??
Dick : believe it or not but he thought it was foreplay… well, you know, until Batman showed up
Jason : for all he knew it could’a in fact been the foreplay leading up to The Big Show if ya know what I mean 😉
Dick : really, Jay ? what criminal wants to have a threesome with The Bat ??
Jason : … .well…definitely not me
Stephanie : so what about you, Jason ?? you’ve got yourself a smart ass mouth, what’s the dumbest thing you’ve said when someone’s asked your bitch ass if it had any last words ??
Jason : *sipping his beer* well this bitch ass has said all kinds’a shit. couldn’t choose the dumbest thing tbh
Dick : omg we’ll be here all day…
Jason : ok. once, a notorious villain had a knife to my throat, asked if I had any last words, so I told him; “Suck my tits”
Jason : then the guy got smart and replied “ Mother fucker, what god damn tits ”
Jason : so my ass got smarter and told him “ If you dont wanna suck’em then why’re you worried ‘bout where they are ”
Jason : anyway, in conclusion; that’s the story of how I got shot in the leg and laid on a rooftop simultaneously last year
Stephanie : FUCK. and you all wonder why this man right here is my role model ? wake the fuck up bitches. ya’ll are sleepin’ on a legend
Tim : but wait…who was it ???
Jason : *back to slowly sipping his beer* you’ll never know
Dick : i bet it was Roman
Dick : *looks over at Timmer’s with a deadpan expression*
