Hello, long time no see.
I know I haven't posted on here in a really long time, but I think it's time I come out about something.
I was active on tumblr @thisblogisathing-moved from 2011 to early 2017, and moved for reasons I stated in the very beginning of my current account (the account this is posted on). I left out 1 reason, and that is the memories of a past relationship I had with someone of with the url of Galaxyphoenicx, real name Nic.
We met on a unofficial Rooster Teeth minecraft server called Drunk Rooster Server (DRS). We formed a friend group consisting of some of their IRL friends, and also some others we met on DRS. Sooner or later, Nic and I started a relationship. This would be a wonderful thing, but I was 15 years old and just dropped out of high school, and they were 20 going to college.
This is where I don't know where to continue. The entire year I was with them was blurry, because I was in a terrible mental state. I will state some of the things that I remember.
We spent most of our time in Skype calls, sometimes messaging
We would RP Phoenix Wright and Miles Edgeworth. Yes, that includes ERP (Erotic Roleplay).
We would talk nonstop about meeting in New York, where they lived at the time, but never to where I lived.
We would spend time together almost every night up until 5:00AM, sometimes later
Near the end of our relationship, Nic got into an anime called Haikyuu and also met some people on tumblr that were also into that anime. I didn't like it, but I tried it out for them so I could be involved in the friend group and enjoy more time with them. That is when I started crushing on someone in that group almost immediately.
Around the time, I heard of Polyamorous relationships on tumblr. Being naive, and not understanding what entails, I asked Nic if we could have one. Nic said yes, and started dating someone else in the Haikyuu friend group. My crush said no to joining the relationship, and I got upset. I asked Nic to end the polyamorous relationship, and that it could go back to just us two.
I remember I was starting to get really anxious, and I was talking to my friends from the DRS group, while Nic was being silent. I was deciding on breaking up with Nic, since obviously communication was a big problem, and I was feeling like absolute garbage from the entire situation. Then some of the people from the Haikyuu group start messaging me, calling me manipulative and that I was a terrible person. That I needed help and to leave Nic alone.
I was in shock, I didn't understand what was happening and I panicked. I claimed that it wasn't me and that it was an alternative personality I had that was doing all that, even though I didn't have DID. I do admit that was INCREDIBLY stupid, and I should've just asked what the hell was going on and moved on from that point, but I didn't. Of course, the people messaging me said it was still my fault.
The rest is a complete blur. All I remember was kicking Nic from all our skype groups so that the friend group from DRS could comfort me without them seeing. I sometimes still wonder if the Haikyuu group is still friends with Nic, and do they know that Nic was dating a 15/16 year old while they were 20/21?
To conclude this, I know Nic isn't on tumblr anymore, or has changed their URL. They are still on twitter going by the same URL though, and I just wanted to get this out somewhere. I want the Haikyuu group to know that Nic was the one that manipulated me. Nic was the adult dating an underaged teen.
It took me years to get over the fact that I am NOT manipulative, and that I was the one that was manipulated. I couldn't look at Haikyuu for years. I couldn't even enjoy Phoenix Wright for while. This has been on my mind at least once a month for the last 8-9 years and I hope it can finally be put to rest in my brain once I press the post button.
Thanks to those that read.
-Miles
