Things Just Said In This Fucking Office

A collection of absurd things heard around offices. Feel free to submit!

[thisfuckingoffice]

"I mean it's a terrible movie but..."

A: Have you seen 'White Chicks?'

B: ...Maybe.

[thisfuckingoffice]

Someone didn't understand their civics course

A: I think she won the jury because the prosecution couldn't come up with reasonable doubt. 

[thisfuckingoffice]

Crikey!

A I think she just left the baby and some alligator came and ate it.

[thisfuckingoffice]

Casey Anthony was a 12-seed

A: I always root for the underdog. I don't think Casey Anthony did it. 

[thisfuckingoffice]

"But I'm not even wearing a tie."

A: You kind of look like a Mormon today.

[thisfuckingoffice]

Memories

A: Remember that time you went upstairs to Dan's desk and took a nap?

B: Who did that?

A: You did.

[thisfuckingoffice]

B: "I mean, we're not talking about a charity site here."

A: Like a five year old child did it?

B: It looks like it was made in Windows '95.

[thisfuckingoffice]

"This reminds me of health class in high school."

A: Never do a Google image search for any medical condition ever.

[thisfuckingoffice]

Office Fight

A: I really need a gun.

[thisfuckingoffice]

Did the glowsticks make it obvious?

A: Are you listening to techno again?

[thisfuckingoffice]

Chastising

A: I'm not chastising you in a negative way.

[thisfuckingoffice]

Beaster

Boss: "What are you two doing?" Us: "We're hiding Paul's easter basket for him.  His mom sent it here." Boss: "Oh. That's mean." Us: "......" 

[thisfuckingoffice]

Game of Thrones Virginity

A: I'm glad I got you into these books.  I pretty much took your Game of Thrones virginity.  It looks like you're halfway through, the uncomfortable part is almost over.

[thisfuckingoffice]

Geometry Lessons

A: (while explaining right triangles) It really helps if you know the magic triangle.

[thisfuckingoffice]

But can he connect to WiFi?

A: Beep-boop-bop, I am a robot.

[thisfuckingoffice]

As opposed to where?

A: You should remember that, in your mind. 

[thisfuckingoffice]

Parseltongue?

A: It takes a special person to speak in tongues.

B: And interpret.