In The Interim

This is my virtual act, my personal and photo blog.

[lsleofskye]

Pele is Whispering

[minhamemoriasuja]

Raph & Devan Fotografia: Jérôme Moreau

[thisisnotcarl]

After some personal reflection, i realized all my emotional and mental problems potentially boil down to me being a perfectionist, ambitious, and yet insecure all at the same time. And i think it may have taken a toll on me. Subconsciously, I think I’ve been trying to kill this part of me without even fully realizing it, but to no avail. It seems that every effort i do in trying to better myself was just like throwing a pebble into a river; it causes small ripples but leaves the course of water unchanged. Undeniably, it’s very difficult to kill that part of yourself that you no longer want, when it makes so much of you as a person. I try to blame it on circumstances and other factors— just because i couldn’t fully accept that all this was solely because of myself, and no one else. 

“Don’t need no one else. I can sabotage me by myself.” 

I plan and i plan and i continue to make my lists of things as long as i possibly can just so i can convince myself that everything will go as intended so long as i keep up with organizing it all. But apparently, i overlooked the variables that surprisingly play a larger role than they do seem. I may have forgotten that not everything is in my control and that some things happen in random. Thanks again Murph’s law, and fuck you.

Anyway, I wish to triumph over all this, and hopefully, everything will start to fall back into place.

Also, this is supposed to be more of a photo blog, so sorry for the occasional rant and outbursts. 

[573p5]

[thisisnotcarl]

I am not an expert on activism, heck i wouldn’t even dare call myself an activist in any way. But what is very clear to me is that we need solidarity more than having to drag each other down. Why exert such effort and time in negating someone who join that ig game (whose intention is most likely pure and sympathetic), when you could have just let people be or encourage them, instead, to do better.

I get that posts or games as such may lead to reductionism of the real matter at hand on some level. But some of us have to start somewhere, don’t we?

The world suffers in multitude of ways right now, and there are crucial things that need more of our attention. So why not start at sorting our priorities and direct our energy, our anger, to things that are of critical consequence, rather than focusing on accusing people of pretending to be an activist. Now is not really the best time to gatekeep activism. We need everyone we can get to join our cause against political repression and oppression. 

What matters is a lot are showing support to a very relevant and crucial movement. And to me, that’s step one.

[thisisnotcarl]

Urbanization

[nonstopthekill]

[thisisnotcarl]

I used to think it was restricting when Instagram only allowed 1x1 photos back then. But later on i realized that it’s more fun to explore the art of composition using this dimension.

[thisisnotcarl]

Bonjour or sumthn

[thisisnotcarl]

Played with lightroom just to see if i can achieve the cyberpunk aesth.

[thisisnotcarl]

I’d had lots of shortcomings in the past—lots of stuff i wish i did. I had given my attention to the wrong things, and consequently, overlooked those that deserved better.

I will forever be grateful of the people who were with me. In a way, we are all an amalgam of the different individuals in our past. It’s like they all latched a part of them onto us, collectively building us up to become the persons we are now. We’re all made of our past, as manifested by how everything in the universe right now was once stardust, which, too, was once part of something else.

I hope i dont get to repeat the same mistakes i did. I will do it right this time; i will do better. I don’t want to lose anything or anyone again before they’re even truly gone. I will cherish everyone who’s with me, my friends and family, and give them all the love i can give. The world is already a bad place as it is, and the least I can do is value what I have.

[thisisnotcarl]

Health will always be political. Just putting it out there.

[thisisnotcarl]

ANNA (2019)

Not the best-rated spy movie out there but damn that model is undeniably attractive.

[thisisnotcarl]

There’s too much content in social media. It’s overwhelming. At times, I hesitate if i should read a news article or a thread about the PH government. I know it’s my responsibility to keep myself updated with the news and all, but sometimes, i just don’t feel like engaging at all. It seems apathetic on my part, I know. But knowing that everyday we get nothing but bad news and how the state of the nation gets worse than it already is, it’s just spiritually draining.

Speaking about content, I also figured i shouldn’t be consuming everything that is out there. I want to train myself to limit my engagement and prioritize my interests. Just because it’s there and everyone is talking about it, doesn’t mean i should concern myself with it all the time, right? I have to convince myself more that i don’t need to know everything that’s in the limelight, and focus on myself instead. I have a lot to work on (myself and my shortcomings as a person), so i guess i’ll just focus my energy and attention there for the mean time. 

[thisisnotcarl]

I was never a fan of beaches. It’s messy, it’s hot, salt water hurts my eyes; it’s everything that bugs me. I sometimes even kid that i was born in the wrong country because this tropical weather is not for me. But this prolonged isolation makes me dwell on thoughts of even the small things that I’d usually take for granted.

[thisisnotcarl]

Hey there, Bella!

[thisisnotcarl]

Into the woods

Henlo to my 3 followers!! hehe just kidding, i’m back to posting pics again. Just wanna share these set of photos i processed using my own preset in Lightroom 🤪