The Thoughts of a Screw-up

"Hey, maybe you're okay walking around with somebody's blood on your hands but that's not who I am.. I can't just pretend it never happened.." Established October 2012 ;; Mostly au-centric Warning: I play Ben as a depressed individual. There will be negative, degrading, and hateful thoughts towards himself. Please be careful if you're sensitive to those sorts of topics.

[thisshouldntbehappening]

Don't look now Ben, but Aiden just used the open doorway to give himself enough height to kiss your cheek, before dropping back to the floor and walking away.

Surprise caught him harder than Aiden’s lips, and he was left there rubbing the spot as though he’d been hit. The cogs were turning in his head as he came to realize what just happened. Snugly tucked in the door frame, Aiden gave away the answer far too soon. Before Ben could even form the question, he knew why the little hunter had been there.

And he had to admit, it was pretty sweet. Cool too. He couldn’t imagine himself being able to do that.

[thisshouldntbehappening]

(You and your girlfriend(?) are too cute, ngl)

You’re so sweet, my goodness!!! Thank you so much!

[lethargic-hunter]

        “Just let me love you when your heart is tired.”

[A gift for my wonderful boyfriend, for just being so wonderful ;w;]

[thisshouldntbehappening]

✗ ✗ ✗

“Uuh, yeah...sure”

Certainly a change from usual; dare he say, an upgrade even. So no complaints from him. Alright, maybe one complaint. Ben wasn’t hired as a chief. Anything he made would turn out mediocre at best, and burnt to shit at worst. Still, it wasn’t too much of a task to turn down.

“Wh-what sorta cake?”

What could he even make? Hopefully nothing near gourmet chef levels, otherwise Ben would be better off staying underground.

@jxckspxcer

[thisshouldntbehappening]

Alright Telltale I’m a broken man What’s the worst you can do to me now

[threebigolsausages-deactivated2]

does anyone

[kohlrabae-deactivated20170524]

no

[threebigolsausages-deactivated2]

damn thanks anyway

[thisshouldntbehappening]

lethargic-hunter

“I can’t believe it’s so close to Christmas..” He mumbled mostly to himself, red eyes watching the snow outside, feeling the chill against his skin. The infected drew in a slow breath, feeling the cold air sting the inside of his nose, before he let out a long, heavy sigh. He brought one clawed hand up to ‘examine’ his fingers, turning them over with a scoff.

“..Well, another fucking year of this.”

It actually was hard to believe. The end of the year at the end of times, and still it felt like nothing had changed. Like being frozen in time, but age still wore on the body. Ben was getting older, as was Aiden, and that alone was hard to believe.

But they were still alive and present. They still existed in the world, if only to those around them. That would’ve been something to be thankful for, but then he glanced to Aiden. He saw the way skin was analyzed, caught the dread-soaked words, and held onto the scene longer than it’d taken place.

“Yeah...”

Survivor’s guilt beat down on him, keeping him from continuing on from that single point. It wasn’t his fault... He shouldn’t have felt so bad... Crossing his arms tightly to his chest, he tried to keep repeating that. Though silenced ears were all it could reach. With his head turned away and his eyes aimed down, he centered his voice on himself; the sound nearly mistakable for an exiting breath.

"Kinda wish we could switch places...”

[thisshouldntbehappening]

Going through my drafts is a painful task Because I had so much I nearly finished or just never posted But I’m a big baby and feel super nervous about posting years old stuff

[thisshouldntbehappening]

"Hey there, beanstalk," he's trying to hide his excitement, but can't keep himself from reaching out, grabbing Ben's jacket in order to pull him down, and planting a soft peck against the other's lips. "I missed you."

Ben quickly locked on to his smaller friend once the familiar nickname reached his ears. Though before he can return the greeting, a great force pulls him down. An old, but well-loved sensation hits him, feeling Aiden’s lips against his. Short as it was, it still managed to put a smile on his face and a flutter in his chest.

“I-I missed you..” he spoke softly, averting his eyes but broadening the grin. It was good to be back, but even better to see Aiden.

[thisshouldntbehappening]

So here’s a little update on my life:

Got in and out of an abusive relationship Been going to school still Suffering 1 million % sorry for leaving everyone once again without warning Oh and Ben’s blog turned 4 while I turned 24 Hooraaay

[skxrk]

[[ as is customary for all my sudden returns, here’s the boi ]] 

[thisshouldntbehappening]

Ta-dahh

[senpainotizedme]

The Walking Dead Game - 30 Day Challenge ∟ Day 2: Favorite Female Character ▬ Molly

“Don’t know, don’t care. As far as I’m concerned those fuckers got what was coming to them. I have about as much sympathy for them as they did for the sick, the old and anyone else they didn’t think was fit to belong in their little paradise. So yeah, fuck ‘em.”

[lethargic-hunter]

“..So you’re a man of few words. Cute.”

[thisshouldntbehappening]

“O-oh uh...heh..I-I don’t know if..cute’s...r-really the right word”

[phlurp]

My friend claimed he could play Flight of the Bumblebee and accompany himself. Then he did this.

[bookshelfpeppermint]

ITS BACK

[my-lil-spot]

im crying

[battleshipping]

THIS IS THE BEST THING IVE EVER SEEN

[aestui-m-deactivated20191216]

thisshouldntbehappening​ made a pact with aestui

❛ ♕. 𝔦 𝔯 𝔞 𝔱 𝔲 𝔰  𝔳 𝔞 𝔢 𝔠 𝔬 𝔯 𝔡 𝔦 𝔞 —

❝ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴡᴏʀʀy. ɪ ᴡᴏɴ'ᴛ ʟᴇᴛ ᴀɴyᴛʜɪɴɢ ʜᴀᴩᴩᴇɴ ᴛᴏ Yᴏᴜ. ❞

[thisshouldntbehappening]

That’s like saying ‘don’t panic, you’re just about to be set on fire, but I’ll be here to watch you b u r n’. And burning appeared to be in his future, with how hot she was.

Literally, not figuratively.

She literally looked -- AND FELT -- like she was made from the deepest chasms of lava, brought forth to the surface for the first time.

Ben would have to be some brave, ignorant asshole to not be terrified of that.

“I-i-if you...s-s-say so”

[lethargic-hunter]

“..Is that all you can say?”

[thisshouldntbehappening]

“..Might be”