Birb

21, He/Him. Expect an incoherent mix of technical content, fandom nonsense, and Gay. Y'know. Tumblr stuff.

[cannibalchicken]

[toastyglow-rb]

1920s gangster voice: when you stare into the boid the boid stares back

[taxus-fraud]

Hey guys, my opponent just fused their entire side of the board into a gestalt entity, which is currently dissecting and calcifying my pieces such that they fit into its twisted vision of an eternal, perfect state of the universe. What's the best counter in this situation?

[crazy-brazilian]

[go-charbee]

[sphinxofgrease]

the word “sabotage” is p much short for “fucking shit up with a wooden shoe”

[futzingbarton]

what

[sphinxofgrease]

fucking shit up with a wooden shoe

[futzingbarton]

oh my god

[genderhasnobearingonability-blog]

well wooden shoe look at that

[nerdismyhobby]

I’M FUCKING CRYING AT THAT PUN BE MY FRIEND PLEASE 

[candyredterezii]

starting a collection

[gumy-shark]

oh, no, you misunderstand me. those were my monkeys. yeah the circus and i have since parted ways. yeah it was the elephant thing, i dont really want to address that right now though

[cpericardium]

hey everyone "I" have something to show "you"

[cpericardium]

[cpericardium]

[str-ngeloop]

chunnibyou guided meditation

[cryptotheism]

Breathe in. *Feel* the demon energy welling up in your cursed eye. Breathe out. Relax your phantom dragon wings.

[prokopetz]

Just saw a porn video where at one point the top attempts to praise the bottom and ends up saying "you are so good at extracting my semen". Flat monotone. Clearly enunciated "you are", no contraction. It wasn't even a RP scene – just perfectly conventional fucking, and then they hit you with that.

[libertineangel]

It is implied through gameplay mechanics that the two kingdoms at war in chess both formally permit regnal polygamy, allowing the King to take at least nine wives of equal status, and that marriage can be bestowed as a military honour, but curiously that honour - in stark contrast to the conventional attitudes of the aristocracy - can only be bestowed upon soldiers of the unlanded class, leaving great questions to be asked of the material interests and stability of these kingdoms' aristocracies

[estrogenesis-eeveeangelion]

also, their horses lack limbs & their castles are small

[worlds-tiredest-girl]

yknow the smallness of the castles is FAR from their most interesting distinction from the noticeably immobile ones we are familiar with

[arctic-hands]

When I was a teenager and still on Neopets I was part of a pretty big Star Trek guild and eventually became part of its council, with the solemn duty of creating weekly polls. Well one day I created the poll "Which would win in a fight? Borg Cube or Death Star?". Naturally, since this was a Star Trek guild, the answer was overwhelmingly "Borg Cube", but someone did have the rationality to point out we were biased.

So I look up a pretty prominent Star Wars guild and message one of their council and ask them to poll the same question and get back to me in a week. They do, and naturally the fuckin geeks said "Death Star".

So then I look up a Stargate guild and messaged the lead council member, saying the same thing, and they get back to me almost immediately saying that the Death Star would immediately one-shot a Borg Cube but they would never be able to do it again to another Cube. And I took that wisdom back to my guild and we were mollified, and for one moment the Nerd World was peaceful.

[evilsoup]

[mousegirlheart]

im surprised nobody has tried to mechanical turk a self driving car yet

[mousegirlheart]

[thothxv]

Read the actual article, people. Waymo is not Mechanical Turking driverless cars by any reasonable definition of the term.

[bluebeetle]

i saw some comments on tiktok where people were talking bout how they found tumblr too hard to use and part of it being that there was no lack of dates so “what if you reblog or like something from five years ago?!” 

buddy… we have posts circulating still from 2011, its literally just how it is

[do-what-i-yoinky]

Being on tumblr for years like:

[weaselsblaugh]

this post is 2 years old and it’s only going to get funnier as it gets older

[libertineangel]

It is implied through gameplay mechanics that the two kingdoms at war in chess both formally permit regnal polygamy, allowing the King to take at least nine wives of equal status, and that marriage can be bestowed as a military honour, but curiously that honour - in stark contrast to the conventional attitudes of the aristocracy - can only be bestowed upon soldiers of the unlanded class, leaving great questions to be asked of the material interests and stability of these kingdoms' aristocracies

[toastyglow]

(some guy on the internet voice) it's so unrealistic and forced when women win fights against men in stories. of course, when a young boy defeats a huge man I'm cheering and screaming because it is so badass, and when a frail old man defeats a cocky young warrior I feel nothing but satisfaction. I love these power fantasies about easily dispatching people who underestimate you, a thing I desire despite the fact that I will likely never have the skill to achieve it in real life, but I'm pretty sure women don't have that same desire, and even if they do, they shouldn't get to see it in media. because it's so unrealistic, you see. I mean I'm smart enough to know I can't take down a big man in a fight but the women, you know, they'll get ideas. I could probably do it if I trained hard enough, but the women??? for some reason I can't see it happening, and who can say why that is.

[theblackparadeisdead]

Gave a gamer girl a hickey call me the Mark Applier

[greatmagisterhexonic]

no

[theblackparadeisdead]

Call this guy the Mark Denier

[greatmagisterhexonic]

no

[theblackparadeisdead]

Call this guy the Mark Replier

[nbvagabond]

i have never understood or played magic the gathering, but i have nothing but respect for it after seeing this tittieless snake woman

you could have gone the easy route. you could have given her titties. but you didn’t. cause she’s a reptile. thank you mtg. thank you.

[the-long-dog]

She is feeling Fresh and Fabulous. 

[songofkeys]

SHE SURE IS because she is literally finishing up a shed there, look, you can see the last of it clinging to her tail

but she’s already dressed again, after peeling off the skin that would previously have been under that armor

the only logical conclusion here is that she wanted a picture of herself at her SHINIEST and PRETTIEST and hurried to get dressed once enough of her fresh and shiny new skin was uncovered

I bet her bestie took the picture and has been eagerly waiting with the magical fantasy camera for like, hours

“oh my GOD T’sissra your scales are SO VIBRANT this picture is going to be AMAZING”

[sumkitty-blog]

Extra bonus points because she used that skin as part of her backdrop. Its like a banner behind her head.

‘Out with the old, in with the glam!’

[heroofthreefaces]

I read “finishing up a shed” and for a few microseconds I was like “sexy AND an accomplished carpenter”

[weeabooparadise94]