So for those of you who don't know I'm in seminary at Blessed John Paul II Seminary in Washington D.C. and my vocation story goes a little something like this:
My uncle was ordained a priest when I was eight years old, but the thing that attracted me to the priesthood at that age was not the fact that my uncle was a priest, it was what I witnessed the candidates for priesthood do at their ordination.
There is this part of the ordination where the candidates for ordination have to prostrate themselves on the floor of the basilica. Even at this young age I recognized the beautiful symbolicness of this act, that they were in essence laying down their lives before the church, and Christ himself. This left an impression on me that remains with me to this day.
When I turned eleven I was faced with one of the first major challenges to my faith. My sister was diagnosed with leukemia, I had to watch her deteriorate for three years before my eyes. I experienced a serious separation from not only her, but also my mother because she had to live with my sister in the hospital until my sister recovered (my sister is better today, she is pursuing her RN at community college, and thank God her cancer has been in remission for about 9 years). In the beginning of her illness I began to pray a rosary every night and often fell asleep with it in my hands. This was when I first felt I may be called to the priesthood, so I went on several vocational retreats in middle school, and one in high school.
As I got older and entered high school my faith took a back burner in my life as began to get absorbed in the more worldly things. I was more interested in dating girls, and hanging out with my friends, the typical high school kind of stuff. At the end of high school I had made my own mind up about what I wanted to do, I was going to go to college, join an ROTC battalion and come out of college as an officer in the Army. I applied to three colleges and got into Salisbury for the Spring semester of 2012, which meant I was going to spend my first semester of college at community college.
Unfortunately, near the end of my high school career I stopped hanging out with my usual group of friends because I was working a restaurant job on the weekends. Consequently we began to drift apart and I found another group of friend that were not the best people. They partied a lot and all that kind of stuff...
As I entered into community college I began to hang out with those kids a lot more, and while my grades and family life remained pretty good my faith was suffering. Eventually I left for Salisbury feeling pretty lost, but not really caring enough to do anything about it. I ended up not going into ROTC but just pursuing a History degree, with no real goals.
I ended up having a re-conversion to the faith after one of my history teachers proclaimed in front of the class one day that "Jesus Christ probably didn't exist". This sparked something inside of me that began to make me start exploring my faith a bit more. It was really odd because I would be walking around campus in between classes, and I would randomly kind of think, "hmm... I wonder what it would be like if I was in seminary next year." or "Man, I wonder if I will ever have to explain this to my formators." It was really weird to think that stuff because every time it entered into my mind I kind of laughed at it, like yeah right! Priesthood is definitely not for me!
As I began to explore my faith and search for answers I had the desire for the priesthood arise up in me again. This time I took it to heart a little more and thought, "Well I definitely don't want to enter seminary yet... but what if I went to school in Rome, Italy and kind of explored the roots of my faith first hand?" Kind of crazy right?
Well I actually set out doing it! haha... unfortunately I kind of screwed it up.. I was still hanging out with the wrong crowd and got into some trouble.
Long story short, I stopped hanging out with those kids, and began taking my faith a lot more seriously. I started attending daily mass every morning, and I began to rethink my whole "I'm going to study in Italy" idea.
I ended up moving to Southern Maryland through the help of my uncle. I landed a pretty decent landscaping job, and I worked out a living situation with these fellows who lived on a farm. I ended up living with these three guys on a farm, the youngest of the gentleman had autism and had to take care of his dad with leukemia and dementia, consequently he couldn't take care of his house very well, and was pretty much a hoarder. The last fellow was a 73 year old guy who was just a renter there.
Anyways my job in the house was to clean it and make sure the dishes are done everyday (they didn't have a dishwasher so I had to wash all of them by hand everyday after working 8-10 hrs at my landscaping job). It was a very humbling experience because I was serving others and working my butt off. I was attending daily mass, weekly adoration, and I was basically a teachers aid for a CCD class.
After two months of living there I got a spiritual director, which was awesome. I was then making strides in my spiritual life. I started going to a youth group that was very far south of where I lived, but they taught awesome classes. One was a philosophy class on phenomenology and the other was a politics class. Both classes had a teacher come in from the local Catholic High School. The classes allowed me for the first time in a long time to really think about what my faith really meant, both politically speaking and philosophically.
During that lent I was praying a rosary every day and one day during the last weeks of Lent I was saying a rosary in the chapel. As I prayed I was meditating on the mysteries of the rosary. I had an amazing encounter with Christ, as clearly as you are reading this I understood it was time to enter into seminary. Its really hard to describe what happened, but it will have to suffice to say that I just knew it was time. I didn't hear a voice or something, but it was as clear as if I had heard a voice say, "Its time to enter seminary!" So I began my application process.
The funny thing was that I didn't really think I was ready, I was going to give it another year, maybe date a good catholic girl. Well God had different plans for me!
After working the landscaping job for nine months I ended up working for my spiritual director over the summer. I was living with another family closer to his parish. This family needed some help desperately, the father of the family who was in his late 30's was terminally ill from cancer. He had three children the youngest of which was 3 years old. So they allowed me to live in their basement and I tried to help out around the house as much as I could.
After several months of working for my spiritual director, I had a pretty good idea of what priest did. I was working for him every day except for Wednesdays from 6am- usually 11pm. It was a very draining, but I loved the work! Sick calls, youth groups, hospital visits, lots of prayer, serving in masses. It was awesome.
Unfortunately, the father of the family I was staying with died. It was really upsetting.. After the funeral the family decided to go on with some previously made plans to go on a road trip to the Grand canyon. It was probably the right thing to do, it would get their minds off things for a while.. So I watched their house for several months while they were on their trip.
I ended up getting accepted into seminary in June, just three days before my birthday.
Anyways just to summarize it all up, I was discerning for about nine or ten months before I began to apply. and I was accepted about twelve months from when I moved to Southern MD.
I now attend BJP II seminary, and I'm the happiest I've been in my whole life. Its a beautiful thing to be following God's will, and I feel very privileged to be allowed to attend seminary and to more deeply discern my possible call to the priesthood. It sometimes makes me want to cry how beautiful the mercy of God is, that He would pull me out of where I was in my life, and call me into seminary. Praise be to Jesus Christ!