A good relationship is about working in collaboration, communicating our needs to each other, showing them what we need and don’t over expect.
Breakup is not that scary, scary thing is treating that relationship as everything. The more you are dependent on the other person reflects how much you need that person, you could be too weak or relying too much on the other person so this relationship is your everything, which could make the other person also very tired so want to leave.
Recognise that you could have chosen the wrong arena, overestimated your capabiliities, hence the breakup is a result, it is a time stop and think to learn from the experience what skills you lack. Review areas that you need to work on and walk out of this misery.
Recognise that could be that the other person just doesn’t sees you as lifelong partner or is not ready to settle down so you will never be the right person anyway. Do not deny your own value and worthiness.
Break up is a process for self growth, not the end of your happiness. Do not blindly accept the person if they return, must evaluate if you really love that person or you are just too weak and need them. If you love them you would not insist on patching back. Because loved therefore there’s heartache, so we should respect their decision and let them go.
An artiste once said: 如果你看不到我的优秀那即便我是一团火，你也是只能看到这团火里冒的青烟。
“If you are not able to see my worth, even if I am a ball of flames, you will only see the smoke from this ball of flames”
Therefore in the eyes of someone who doesn’t value you, all your compromising and accommodating 妥协和迎合 would only magnify your worthlessness. When you don’t feel you are worthy, it is not that they gave up on you, but you had given up on yourself, hence they disregarded you as well.
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