i miss the sun
âThereâs always gonna be times in life where things seem the worst that itâs ever beenâŠbut thereâs also gonna be some more positive times, more happy times for you."
This spring, I felt worse than I had in years. I still donât know exactly why. Life just hit me like a ton of bricks. I felt (for reasons that were entirely my own fault) disconnected from my friends and family, and spent an unhealthy amount of time on the internet in an unconscious attempt to reenact those relationships. As life went on, my light grew dimmer. One of the worst parts about those times is the feeling of absolutely nothing. I spent hours going back to the music that usually hits me the hardest. None of it worked.
But one Sunday afternoon, I was listening to cloud rap, which eventually transitioned into SNCKPCK (a much smaller gap than you probably think). I decided to check, for the first time in a while, to see if he had any new music. I saw there was one new track: âafternoon.â I pressed play.
Hereâs some advice for you, if you want to know. I was nothing but skeptical, but it couldnât hurt. You gotta have a good heart, you gotta let people in. Nobody had been in for what seemed like forever right then. You gotta support your friends. I had talked to my roommates some, but that was about it. You gotta make sure youâre alive, cause if youâre not, youâre not alive. I needed that second reminder more than most people. Read comic books, all the time. Eat an apple, after five. Do whatever you wanna do with your time. Despite everything I was telling myself, I hadnât been doing anything I wanted to do. In the afternoon, noon, noon, noon. âŠWhy hadnât I been? I know your house address. Always be prepared⊠All Iâd done was make it harder for me in the future. âŠfor anything resembling everything that you are scared of. I was scared of every situation, everything, everyone. I was scared of the mirror. Take a pen outside and watch the clouds go by (and draw them) I had spent most of the past weeks in my room. Call your friends and let them know how much they mean to you. This was probably the point where my fantasy of being completely alone and my reality of never having reached that point collided, violently and tearfully. In the afternoon, noon, noon, noon. I hated the concept of the afternoon - time where you canât skip it through sleeping, where people arenât doing much of anything you can latch on to, where you have to create your own life or lack thereof. Create something that wasnât there before, make your life something more. There had been absolutely nothing. Eat your dinner at an appropriate time, make sure your body gets lots of rest. âThese may include changes in sleep, appetiteâŠâ People next to you everywhere are people too, and one of them could be your best friend. I hadnât seen my best friend in almost a year. You never know who could show up, when you say hello. A few months earlier, Iâd made it a habit to wave hello to everyone that could see me through my window. I figured at worst, theyâd be confused, and at best, theyâd have a better day. Cause people are the best thing, and everyone knows that anyone can be anything they wanna be, they wanna be. I was nothing, I wanted to be. On the way home to my parentâs house, I wandered off down to a trail where I wasnât supposed to go. I found a home, where I wasnât supposed to go. I found a home in the afternoon, noon, noon, noon.
Four minutes and thirty-two seconds later, my hard-working denial had finally given up.
The rest of the album is good, some of Danielâs most polished and original work yet. If you liked SNCKPCK in the past, youâll probably like it. If you didnât, give it another try, heâs evolved. But all it really comes down to for me is âafternoon,â because I can legitimately say that it helped change my life. In an e-mail interview, he said his goal with his music is to spread the message that, among other things: âLife is crappy and hard for some people. But before we can fix that we need to believe that we can.â This is exactly what I heard through this song. I remembered that I can.
"When those happiest moments of your life come, youâll look back at all those sad and bad things that have happened to you, and youâll, youâll be happy that you went through them.â
Today, itâs probably been about six months since I first heard âafternoon.â Life hit me like a ton of bricks again recently. I donât know exactly why. Iâm tempted to disconnect, waste time, dim my light again, and sink back into nothing. But having already been through it, I can tell what Iâm doing. Instead of running into the woods, I can find a home in friends, family, hobbies, duties, what I want, the afternoon.





















