Skinny/underweight things you didn’t think about
is your restrictive eating disorder telling you it’s gorgeous, amazing and the ultimate goal to be as skinny and light as possible, underweight? it isn’t. here’s some things you might not realise:
you’ll have difficulties with pooping! your digestive system is gonna get fucked upppp
think you’ll finally fly up the stairs without being out of breath? well your body is gonna feel like it’s gonna shut down when you reach the top, there’s no energy left to walk up the stairs
you’ll feel your heart in your chest which makes you anxious to go to sleep every night, thinking it will shut down
you won’t be able to hold a normal conversation, your brain doesn’t have the capacity to deal with all that. you’ll be zoning out all the time (and honestly the only thing on your mind is food anyway)
you won’t be living anymore, every moment is just waiting for the next meal. every day will be filled with the same repetitious stuff: waiting for the food you allow yourself, work-outs (if that’s your thing), thinking about food, looking at food (maybe on insta or in youtube videos), shivering and sleeping and then it starts again
you’ll still be wanting to loose more weight! forever being dissatisfied with the way you look! it will never be enough!
your body won’t necessarily look like an insta model or “thinspo”. my ass was completely GONE and my stomach always was a lil soft, no matter how underweight i was and how much i trained
you will always notice that other people are noticing something’s wrong. You will notice them staring (not the jealous or appreciative kind), you will feel their worry or sadness, you will feel the awkwardness around you alllllll the time
you’ll be sore or in pain most of the day: sitting hurts, lying down hurts, all your bones are sore
think you’ll be the prettiest and thinnest in school/uni/work? what school/uni/work? you think you can be in school/uni/work? no! you won’t have the concentration to pass your classes, you’re too preoccupied with food & your body, you have no energy to get through a working week, and if you suffer from anxiety and/or depression, those might get worse too! sooner or later you’ll have to take a break from whatever occupation, isolating you further
anything you think you’ll do better or more confident when you’re thin is a lie: you’ll loose your passion or interest in your hobbies, you’ll loose your energy, and confidence isn’t built by the way you look (especially when you’ll still feel bad about yourself anyway, that’s why eating disorders are DISORDERS).
thin and brittle hair & nails, blue toes & lips, eyebags for days
emotions flatten, so you’ll be enjoying things less
your personality changes: you become secretive, impatient with others when it doesn’t go your way, and even real mean when it comes to food: angry and defensive when food isn’t there on time, or when people try to make you eat
Moral of the story: restricting yourself isn’t the answer to what you’re experiencing and feeling. Consider reaching out to whatever help you can find, and be honest to yourself. It is Never too early to recover; you don’t have to be skinnier or “sicker” to seek out help, banish that thought!! your ED will steal YEARS of your life if you let it. Don’t fall for its tricks, and don’t romanticize the consequences.
blakekathryn
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