:-)

[throughmyoceaneyes]

first night i’ve been truly alone since you. no distractions

i’m sad

winter break is going to be so so lonely

[ventingemotions]

[throughmyoceaneyes]

5/18/18

i said goodbye to the person i love today and it may be the last time i ever see them. i thought i’d cry the whole drive home but oddly enough i haven’t shed one tear since i left. i feel okay. i don’t think it’s the end. it can’t be

[adrenaline]

[throughmyoceaneyes]

01/31/18

so much has changed but i think i need another one. i need to get out of here and explore before i go crazy in the same routine.

[throughmyoceaneyes]

04/12/17

finally on spring break; 51 days till i graduate; currently have super bad chest pain which i’m assuming is my normal costochondritis flaring up and not a heart attack lol(at least i hope so); wanting to have a snack but it hurts too much move; committed to my dream school a few weeks ago; watched 13 reasons why and while it all was v dark and depressing the last episode triggered me so bad and i cried a lot even tho i haven’t self harmed in over three years(still clean don’t worry); also lots of other stuff

life’s a mix of everything right now so there’s a random update

also i just read thru all my old personal posts and realized how much better my life has gotten even tho i rarely post and when i do they're usually not super happy posts but it's just crazy to see how much better i've gotten with my illness and life in general

[sailor-sunflower]

🍃🐳

[throughmyoceaneyes]

03/25/17

i'm scared. this is the worst i have felt in a very long time. i got a stomach bug from my mom(one of my biggest fears) and ended up throwing up 3 times. My pots first started two days after i threw up for the first time since i was a child. i don't want to go back. i can't go back. i'm so close to so many things i have waited a lifetime for that i can't have it ruined. i pushed myself so hard to get where i am and now because of a stupid stomach bug, it might be ruined. i know i could just need fluids but i'm literally struggling to walk to the bathroom without collapsing. i'm so scared. please pray for me

[brookniclove-deactivated2020100]

There are so many ways to be brave in this world. Sometimes bravery involves laying down your life for something bigger than yourself, or for someone else. Sometimes it involves giving up everything you have ever known, or everyone you have ever loved, for the sake of something greater. But sometimes it doesn’t. Sometimes it is nothing more than gritting your teeth through pain, and the work of every day, the slow walk toward a better life. That is the sort of bravery I must have now.

Veronica Roth, Allegiant (via brookniclove)

[throughmyoceaneyes]

2/3/16

so it's currently midnight and by surprise tonight I found out I'm not allowed to eat until my wisdom teeth surgery at 2pm. I was supposed to only have to go 6 hours but now it's 14. :))) anywho the real test will be can I make it without fainting, because currently I can go about 3 hours without eating without feeling lightheaded or nauseous soo that's great. also I don't function without breakfast so lord knows how that's gonna turn out. now I'm going to sleep until 9:30 bc I have to take my meds before I have to stop drinking(!!im legit gonna have a panic attack bc I do not remember the last time I didn't have a water bottle on me and now I'm gonna like not be allowed to drink for hours yikes yikes) wish me luck and pray this whole thing does not go terribly wrong

[pots-support]

This is SUCH a wonderful article, definitely the most accurate article on POTS that I’ve seen. It provides great insight on a patient’s physical and mental perspective towards this disease.

[throughmyoceaneyes]

Me: I have a chronic illness

Person: I hope you recover soon

Me: Someone find me a dictionary STAT

[vengeful-daughter]

idk

2016 taught me that it’s not “cool” or “edgy” to be hateful and bitter. there is enough of that in this world already. call me a soft fool but i choose love and kindness instead. i want to see more of that in 2017

[chronicillnessmemes]

It’s so fucked up that good doctors are a rarity instead of the norm.

[flimsywrists-deactivated2017070]

Your pain is still real, even if it doesn’t affect your ability to function.

[throughmyoceaneyes]

I love waking up at 3am feeling like ur gonna die on winter break 😊😊 seriously tho my head is absolutely murdering me, I feel like I'm gonna vomit, my throat hurts to breathe, and I'm very hot and sweaty except when I take the covers off I am freezing. Thank you immune system for working soo well

[throughmyoceaneyes]

pots help??

So I just learned that I’m going to get my wisdom teeth out which requires anesthesia which I have never had experience with before. I was wondering if anyone had any experience with if/how anesthesia reacts with pots and what I could do to make this go as smoothly as possible, thanks!!