long time gone ~

annella marie everett twenty four years old shadowhunter mother of sophia

[wnq-writers]

Sometimes I lose myself just to be found by you.

askpristin  (via wnq-writers)

[wnq-writers]

I am a different person to different people. Annoying to one. Talented to another. Quiet to a few. Unknown to a lot. But who am I, to me?

dream-jackson (via claudemonet-art)

[rhidley]

[heavensghost]

Spread me all over Illinois // real friends

[throughthickandthinxx-blog]

auroraluxx:

Aurora had been focusing more on her phone than where she was going - big mistake number one. She had also been trying to drink coffee while staring at her phone and not paying attention to where she was going - big mistake number two. If she hadn’t been doing either of these things, she probably would have seen the girl before she ran into her, coffee nearly spilling on her hand and her phone dropping to the ground. “Shit, shit, shit,” she muttered, reaching down to pick up her phone. “No, it’s fine, I wasn’t paying attention,” she assured the other person as she grabbed it and stood back up. “No one is hurt, phone’s not broken. Looks like we got lucky.”

Annella knitted her brow together as she spoke, “you didn’t loose too much of your coffee, did you?” Coffee: at this point, it was all that was holding her together, if you could call what she was feeling right now as ‘held together’. She was on the end of every possible rope, metaphorically. She drew in a deep breath and tried to steady herself, scoffing in the wake of her obvious struggles. At least, to her it felt obvious; everything seemed plastered on her face despite how hard she was trying to keep it from seeping through. “I was heading that way, if you want another...or a scone, perhaps?”

[faye-chamberlain]

[auideas]

I’m made up of black coffee, untamed hair, and poorly suppressed anger.

The Never Book (via auideas)

[holaitsliza]

And at night, tears replaced anger, making her feel lonelier than she really was.

L.R. excerpt from a book I’ll never write (via holaitsliza)

[leia-organa]

[adelaides-kanes]

[throughthickandthinxx-blog]

@maxravennight

Annella needed a chance to calm her nerves, to settle her thoughts, among those she didn’t have to feel defensive around. There were few places that this was possible, but she was sitting in one right now, drink in hand. She took a sip and scanned the room, settling on a blonde across the room. She nodded back to the bar tender. “Can I get a bourbon? Straight?” The bartended nodded, then poured the glass. Annella nodded in appreciation and then started toward him. When she reached the table, she slid the drink toward him.

“I didn’t take you for a whiskey man. I went with bourbon.”

[brcisedbroken-deactivated201808]

{{PAST THREAD}}

[throughthickandthinxx-blog]

frankiegonzales:

     the wolf sighs, seeing his apartment building coming into his line of sight. all day he had been running around, doing jobs for his boss and he hated leaving his bed that morning. mainly because a certain brunette was curled up beside him. it had been like torture to move away from her and get dressed for work. but now he was on his way home- to her. there’s that warmth in his gut and a slight tug upwards of his lips. few of his co-workers took way too much joy in the expression the usually cold as ice wolf would get at the thought of his girlfriend. he speeds up a little in his truck, parking it outside his building and forgoes the rusty ancient elevator for the stairs. taking two at a time to reach his floor.

     he puts his key in the lock, jimmying it a little before it would open for him. kicking his shoes off to the side he notices another pair sitting there. she hadn’t left. the small smile from the car simply grows. ❝mi alma?❞ he calls out, tossing his keys in the bowl by the door and heading further into the apartment. spotting her in the kitchen he walks up behind her, arms circling her waist and pressing a kiss to her shoulder. ❝hey.❞ one simple word, so softly spoken by a man usually associated with anything but soft. but annella had that effect on him. @throughthickandthinxx

Annella had turned over, still half asleep, when Frankie had gotten up and left for work. She had risen a short time after, stretching her arms into the air as she sat up. The rest of her day had been spent doing small things around the house to make things easier on them both: cleaning out the fridge, taking a load of laundry downstairs to the washer, going down the street to the store to gather items for dinner. By the time Frankie had gotten back, she was nearly done chopping the peppers. Mi alma. Her heart actually skipped a beat; it was wondrous that he still had that power, even after so long. “In here, honey.” 

Pet names. She usually despised the but with Frankie, it simply happened. There was no thinking about it, no stopping it. Not that she wanted to. Annella continued sliding the knife along the peppers at her fingertips. His lips pressed against her bare shoulder and her face melted into a smile. She rested the knife on the small cutting board, “mmm, good day at work, hmm?” Turning, she rested her hands on his chest. She was teasing him, slightly, but it was all in good fun. “Fajitas?”

[throughthickandthinxx-blog]

Tipsy. Tipsy was what she had been aiming for. And yet, here she was, well past tipsy, bordering on drunk. She took the final sip from her glass and slid it back against the edge of the bar. “Thank youuu.” She swooned, spinning around in her chair to face the rest of the bar. Standing, she then turned back around. “Can I have another?” The bartender simply shook their head and she groaned audibly. “Ohhh, no fun you are...keeping my safe.” She put up air quotes and laughed, nudging the person next to her softly. “I’ve had three and I just want one more.”

@samrosewain 

[throughthickandthinxx-blog]

mcrdices:

“it’s what i was gonna order anyway,” ben said of the whiskey she’d bought for him. sure, it does almost feel like he’s accepting charity from a shadowhunter, but he takes a sip and finds that it doesn’t really cheapen the taste. ( even it did, he’d still finish the glass — awful or not, there’s no way in hell he’d ever let liquor go to waste. )

he can tell by the way she’s averting her gaze and drawing distracted fingertips around the very top of her glass that the shadowhunter is nervous. visible signs aside, she absolutely reeked — to him, at least. he’s a good tracker, senses so sharply honed that the sort of unease she’s practically shedding like skin right now is something he could track across cities if he had to. the shadowhunter seems rooted sturdily in place, however, staring at the ground like she’s being pulled towards it.

he lifted a brow as the brunette alluded to looking for someone although it really didn’t surprise him. why else would a shadowhunter walk in here? especially nowadays, when the atmosphere is hardly welcoming towards their kind? it’s still a popular place for downworlders to waste their evenings, so given the right assignment it’s entirely likely that a shadowhunter might walk in and start asking around for someone in particular. hell, he’s so unconcerned that he nearly ends the conversation, prepared to tell her that she’s gotta find whoever she’s looking for by herself — then she gives him two familiar names and ben can’t really hide the recognition flickering across his features.

“if they don’t want to be found by you then there’s probably a reason,” ben posited. she seemed to believe that frankie didn’t entirely trust her and of course ben’s more likely to side with his pack — it’s instinct.

Annella had always felt an ease when ordering drinks for others. Some people, you could just tell they liked sweet drinks; others, like Ben, weren’t as fussy about the way their alcohol came, as long as it did come in the end. It was comforting to her somehow, in this moment, that he hadn’t turned his nose up at it from the start and told her to fuck off (like Frankie had). 

The woman was steady, but forgiving; strong but flexible. She knew when to push, when to pull, and when to remain where she was. Right now, she needed to come across as gentle as she could, despite the fire burning inside her to know what was really happening, what had happened. It was difficult, keeping all of her emotions inside. She wanted to break down, to explain everything, to literally everyone. It was all but impossible to keep herself together and yet, here she was. She was sitting tall, albeit staring at her glass, in front of the alpha of Frankie’s pack. She wasn’t crying. Annella wasn’t going to cry.

“I saw him.” Simple, but the truth. She turned to face him, tears welding despite every single effort to keep them back. Annella wasn’t going to crack. Not now. And certainly not in front of Frankie’s pack leader. “Ben, I...” It felt strange to call him by his name having only just met him. “I am just trying to figure out where I fit in in this town now. I’m sure you know he isn’t my biggest fan.” She dipped her head slightly. “I’m Annella. Sophia’s mother.”

[throughthickandthinxx-blog]

cursedsxldier: 

callum was out on the sidewalk, trying to enjoy his cigarette in peace. instead he was getting bombarded with people trying to bum a cigarette off of him, or just bothering him in general. and just when he thought he had peace again someone knocked right into him, barley moving him. nearly hissing at the sudden intrusion, he turned to see who it was that ran into him. “ahh little shadowhunter, you might want to watch where you are going next time.

While on the smaller side, Annella was not little by any means. She quirked her head to the left and furrowed her brow at the man who had addressed her as such. “Little? Really?” That was the best he could do? “It was an accident.” She glanced at his cigarette, again craving one herself despite not actually considering herself a smoker. She would light up when she was under extreme stress or in social situations where everyone was. Her parents had hated it, which meant she only wanted to do it more. After leaving Frankie, and Sophia, she had made every effort to piss them off at every turn. “Why are you out here on the street, anyway?”

[gayokay]

[throughthickandthinxx-blog]

frankiegonzales:

     when will the world leave him be? when will it stop kicking him down with new curve balls? he’s been back in l.a for a few months and shit just keeps hitting the fan. bills rising, his old gang managing to drag him back in again, working two jobs and being a single father, the fair, the rumours of war and now annella. he can’t wait to see what’s coming next to turn his life into even further turmoil. but god, is he tired- exhausted. he can’t sleep, keeps skipping meals, putting sophia first and trying to act like he’s okay- but he never has been. six years of this, alone, working himself to breaking point, trying to be a good father but his self hatred telling him he’s the worst. 

     it didn’t help that annella left. like everyone else. the common factor in everyone leaving- was him. was he too broken? too angry at the world for anyone to love him? too frankie? he doesn’t know how to be anyone else, how to change or to make people stay. so annella was the last straw, he built higher walls around his heart, held everyone at arms length to the point he was so isolated and alone that all he had was sophia. there was no one to talk to about how much he was hurting, so he sought friendship in a whiskey bottle.

     feeling an all too familiar hand grip the sleeve of his shirt, an internal battle wages within the wolf. there’s that part of him, so touch starved and aching in misery from missing annella that wants to lean into every touch she has to offer. but the most prominent part of him is so full of rage and hurt from what she did that he snatches his arm back quick. his skin tingle from the heat of her hand that had slipped through the fabric but he ignores it. a hollow laugh leaves him upon hearing the apology. ❝that’s all you’ve got? six years and that’s your apology?❞ he raises a brow, challenging to say more, to do more. he leans forward, eyes the would usually warm at the sight of annella were now cold and if you looked close enough there was pain still in the pupils. ❝apology not accepted.❞ he leans back and starts heading for his truck again. 

She knew he was going to pull back but when he actually did, her stomach flopped again, making her more stick to her stomach than she had been. Was that all she had? No, absolutely not, fuck no, fuck you. But she couldn’t say that. If he knew that she had kept that from him, risked her own damn life, he’d be even more cross with her. But he’d be torn, too. Hopefully. She knew giving him the opportunity to just hate her was far better than breaking him further. She had caused so much damage, brought him so much pain. She didn’t want to continue that. Not for anything, even the glimmer of forgiveness, let alone anything more. 

When he leaned into her, she felt the cold breath of confusion creep over her. Why was he so close; why was he letting her look at him like he was. He had never been the kind to bare what was on his sleeve and yet, here he was, showing her the pain in his eyes, behind his words. Annella swallowed hard and shrugged. “I can’t say anything else. Not right now.”

Apology not accepted.

All she wanted to do was reach for his arm and pull him down to her, to feel his warm lips against hers again. She wanted to feel the way her body curved into his, not just remember it when she was alone and cold at night. That dream was gone, along with the dream of having a family. She hadn’t even so much as kissed another person since she left all those years ago; any time she got close, she fell apart and spat out some bullshit about how she wasn’t here to fuck around -- she was all business and no pleasure. Why did she deserve it after she had left, even though she had been protecting them? The short answer: she didn’t believe she deserved it. She didn’t deserve any of it.

“I can’t make you stay...” But I wish you would. Please. 

At one time, the man walking away from her would have heard the second half of her statement even though she hadn’t actually said it out loud. She knew he still had a piece of her tucked away. The kind of love they had shared once upon a time wasn’t something that disappeared over night just because you wanted it to. She had spent nights begging and pleading with whatever greater deity existed to take away her damn pain, but each night it came, stronger than the last. There was no fixing it, no taking back what she had done. And it haunted her every existence, even in her dreams.