Move along, nofin to sea

((ic vent blog. this blog IS password protected ic! your character can only read it if Condy gives them the password))

[thrown2gethervent]

Like )(e'd be )(appy wit)( anyfin but my perpetual abject misery until I fucking die~

[thrown2gethervent]

T)(e redemption narrative one~

Redemption is all ABOUT t)(e suffering, and t)(e spectacle~

[thrown2gethervent]

T)(at post is so fake

[notbecauseofvictories]

hey kids

you know why I like redemption narratives? because a redemption narrative says: no matter how broken or wrong or bad or stupid or ridiculous or harmful or sad or terrible, you can atone.

there is still a road back. it might be rocky and steep, complicated and messy. walking it may take all your life. you may lose your foothold, slip and fall back into the abyss, but the wall is still there. the ascent is still there. hard is not the same as impossible.

you are never too far gone. you are never beyond saving. 

[kayla-bird-deactivated20190505]

redemption arcs > black-and-white thinking

[animatedamerican]

Redemption does not mean: no matter how wrong or bad or harmful or terrible you are, if you suffer enough then everybody will/should forgive you and love you and accept you.

Redemption means: no matter how wrong or bad or harmful or terrible you are, you can stop being that. you can be better.

(and yes, the process of making yourself be better will be arduous and painful, but the pain is not the point; the pain is not punishment; the pain is not there to make you pitiable and therefore forgivable. the pain is incidental. any pity anyone feels for you is also incidental. the point is to stop being terrible.)

[thrown2gethervent]

I forgot t)(e day but like, it's fine

[occultus-amor]

❤️=How did I find my crush/love?

okay. in order, with all my quads, in order of. acquisition i guess hahaha

wicked: tumblr, which is actually where i found all of the current ones. but like… sent him a video with me jugglin knives on a tight rope and stabbin myself. then vel came over for jenga and then wicked came over just to make double sure i was safe. then like… stuff happened, churchy stuff, and then he came over actin like pale bait with his hair mussed and self all dirty and i happened to get pissy for unrelated reasons i can’t even remember why no more and uh. then we were pale courts.

sugar kinda just. knew who i was, grand highblood and all, she figured it quick, but i had to keep tellin her not to be obvious. and then we kept talkin for like perigees and then she asked me to be flush and i was like ‘yeah sounds fun’

fuckin. nep and lil put out a fuckin ad and i answered and we went on a few trial runs and then we was ash hahaha

saness took so much longer. well not that long in the grand scheme a things but. like, i kept pesterin her with real personal questions and i expected her to tell me to fuck off and then she kept not doin that. and once we made out which was hilarious but also kinda sweet cuz she started pissin me off to get me out of a funk and damn. damn, missed the writing on the wall a little. but yeah then we started courtin a few weeks later. i asked her

[occultus-amor]

💛= What is your definition of love?

fuck who knows. i ain’t got words for it, all i got is the words it involves. devotion affection obsession care reliance dependence emotion

yeah hahaha that’s all i got

[pushthemovement]

[beshenstvo]

in the desert by stephen crane

[adrasteiax]

Mary Oliver, from Moments in “Felicity: Poems”

[thrown2gethervent]

Thinking a lot about a thing a guy who knew me pretty well said one time, about w)(y I won’t be better

[thrown2gethervent]

S0ME PEOPLE THINK YOU JUST WANT TO HURT AND THEY DON'T THINK YOU CARE. S0ME PEOPLE THINK IF THEY CAN JUST GET YOU TO CARE YOU W0N'T HURT ANYM0RE. THESE PE0PLE DON'T KNOW THAT YOU N0T CARING ISN'T THE PR0BLEM

IT'S THE WAY YOU CARE

IT'S WHAT YOU WANT FR0M THE PE0PLE YOU CARE ABOUT

IT'S THE WAY YOU C0NTR0L BECAUSE YOU CAN 0NLY CARE FROM THE PERSPECTIVE OF A CHILD THAT WANTS WHAT THEY WANT

[thrown2gethervent]

Thinking a lot about a thing a guy who knew me pretty well said one time, about w)(y I won't be better

[thrown2gethervent]

I GU-ESS

[thrown2gethervent]

It wouldn't be any fun to just DO )(IM A FAVOR

[thrown2gethervent]

Baybe, look in your )(eart~

[thrown2gethervent]

Is it unet)(ical to torture someone to deat)( if t)(ey want to die, asking for a friend~

[thrown2gethervent]

T)(at Sollux is actually pretty funny~

[thrown2gethervent]

AaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAUG)(