You always felt a wave of satisfaction whenever it was your birthday.
For most, the day marked the celebration of life, but for you, it was the grim anniversary of the ending of your father's. You remembered the static in the air of the cramped, suffocating apartment that you, your mom and father lived in; the smell of alcohol was pungent in the air and so was fear.
Your father was abusive, a narcissist, overrall a shitty person. You would always remember the sound of furniture breaking against the walls and the sound of your mother's pleas whenever he'd put his hands on her. You hated the way your mother allowed him to always have his way, and how whenever you'd plead with her to leave or run away, she'd always choose to stay by his side. You had pitied your mother, pity was the only thing you could feel at that moment in your life.
But on your tenth birthday, the pity died, and disgust took it's placed.
Unlike normal children, who celebrated, ate cake and opened birthday gifts, instead, you had been sent on an errand to buy your house some groceries for the week, father had requested for you to get the same bottle of alcohol he had been drinking for the past few weeks that had just ran out.
However, the store didn't have that specific brand and when you had returned with the wrong bottle, it was like you had committed a grave crime only worthy of the punishment of being beaten black and blue for hours in your room.
Your mother did nothing but prepare dinner in the kitchen, your father sat in the living room right next to the kitchen, taking a drag of a cigarrette as he watched a game show. You laid on your bedroom floor, bloody and bruised, you hiccuped as your body convulsed, breathing ragged as you rolled over, staring into space. You didn't feel most things; you didn't feel sad when your father ran over your pet cat when you were seven, you didn't feel angry when your father beat you for getting below a B in english when you were 7, but today? Today was the day something finally snapped.
You eyed the flower vase filled with purple lavenders, thinking today was the day you would finally have a use for them.
You took the vase downstairs, walking to the kitchen where your mother had been hunched over the counter, visibly shaking from the sounds of her husband when he was beating her only daughter. You didn't say anything, your little legs walking toward your mother, she sensed your presence. At first, she eyed you in confusion, before realising the flowers in your hands, she took the vase, looking at you with a strange yet frightful look.
You knew she was going to do it. She had to, in order for this to all end.
As you all sat at the dinner table, your face was puffed up and your ribs were aching, your eyes watched your food, your mother stared ahead of her, watching her husband dig into the stew.
You only looked up from your food when your father began to choke. His face turning a shade of purple as he suffocated on his own throat, your mother stood up, face devoid of the usual terror, and tightened the strings of her kitchen smock.
She stepped behind him, wrapping the fabric around his throat and pulling until his frantic clawing at the air stopped. He died staring at you, his eyes bulging with a hatred, cursing you as if he knew you were the reason for his death today.
You and your mother ate the rest of their meal in a heavy, peaceful silence. For once eating dinner didn't require them to walk on eggshells. They cleaned the table, leaving his limb body sitting at the table.
At midnight you two dragged his heavy corpse out into the freezing rain, throwing him at the bottom of the neighborhood steps. You stood in the cold, letting the rain drench you as you stared at your father's corpsed. For the first time in a while, you felt something other than pity. You felt satisfaction.
And it seems like you've been chasing that high ever since.
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The sun's light shone through the window, your eyes flickered open as it hit your first. Your head felt heavy from your nap. The first thing you saw was Yuta Okkotsu.
For the past thirty minutes, he sat in the seat in front of you watching you as you slept with his chin resting in his palm. His gaze forever focused, even with the curious, judgemental eyes of their classmates, Yuta didn't look away. He never did.
"Yuta," Y/N said dully, sitting up straight.
Yuta gave her a sickenly sweet smile. He reached down and pulled a bouquet from beneath his desk. It wasn't roses or lilies, it was a bouquet of lavender. Attached to it was a white card wrapped in a bow of her favourite colour.
"Happy Birthday [name]!" he said to her sweetly.
You looked at him, then at the flowers, then ever so discreetly to your nosy classmates that watched the two of you. Your apathetic face morphed instantly into a reciprocating smile; it was perfect, practiced, and warm.
"Thank you, Yuta." you said, taking the gifts.
You waited a moment before getting up, Yuta following behind you like a lost, loyal puppy. You walked down the stairs to the nearest trash can and, without a second thought, tossed the flowers inside. You did keep the card, tucking it away into your navy blue and white uniform blazer. Your fake smile dropped the second you were out of that classroom.
You looked up at Yuta expectantly, your eyes hollow and dissatisfied.
Yuta knew better. He always did.
Yuta's smile didn't waver. He only stepped closer, "Don't worry. Your real gift is coming soon."
He darted his eyes to the hallway clock on the freshly painted wall. As the hand struck 8:00 AM, the bell rang, and students began to come out for their next class. Just then, a series of obscenities tore through the air from the teacher's wing.
"You absolute whore! Did you think you could hide it?!"
Students stopped in their tracks as a middle-aged woman in a fur coat chased Mrs. Fuji, the first-year homeroom teacher, down the hall.
"You've been spreading your legs for my husband?!" the woman shrieked, lunging for the teacher's hair. "I'll kill you! I'll strip you of everything!"
As the hallway erupted in chaos, Yuta reached out, his hand sliding into yours with a firm, possessive grip. He led you to the top of the stairs, positioning you so you had the perfect view. He leaned into your ear, his breath was warm.
"Mrs. Fuji was having an affair with the father of one of the students here," Yuta whispered, his voice light. "Mr. Orimoto. I made sure his wife got photos this morning when she came for a private parent-teacher conference. Her daughter's files were replaced with them. Right on time for your first class."
You didn't say anything, you tilted your head, watching the teacher fall to her knees in shame as several students filmed the meltdown. You crossed your arms, feeling Yuta's taller frame right behind yours. You felt a tiny, cold spark in your chest, you couldn't help but crack into a small smile.
"Rika Orimoto's father," you repeated softly, you finally turned your head to look up, staring Yuta in his navy blue eyes. He felt happy to see you smile, knowing he did well.
As the chaos continued, a student in a plain white button up uniform and a navy blue skirt walked through the doors of the school, quickly trying to avoid the chaos. She looked angry, and slightly embarrassed, as if knowing she was somewhat part of the problem.
Rika Orimoto, first year at Tokyo Metropolitan Arts Technical Academy. Also known as your first 'X'.
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unedited; 1.31k words - next chapter
author's note; lord knows the insanity that's about to unfold...
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