I don't really know how to ask this - I'm writing hobby-wise, and I have a few decent ideas, but whenever I write them, the language seems a bit, well, hollow. Not at all like spoken word. I can write like that a bit more in chats, but how can I make written language and, most important, descriptions, seem more real?
Adding Depth to Your Language
When you say hollow, I assume the problem is the writing feels stiff. It lacks personality, emotion, and maybe it’s even too grandiose for the subject matter you’re tackling.
I think the problem might be that you’re trying too hard to differentiate between spoken language and written language. It’s not as if writers throw a switch when they shift from conversing to writing. Our speech patterns are often mirrored in our writing, though often times with a bit more polish that comes from the ability to edit, which you can’t do when you’re just talking to someone, and even editing with online chats is limited to the seconds before you send the message.
When I think back to some of the first things I wrote, they read very much like stories I was relating to people in real life. I’d pretend I was telling someone a story, and I’d write the words I’d use to describe it. As I gained more experience, and exposed myself to the ways other authors wrote, I started to learn the right ways to embellish my writing.
So if you’re still trying to figure out your writing style, I say just jump in and tell stories the way you would tell them verbally. Get them on paper, and practice. Your first story may not feel all that “story-like,” and maybe your second won’t either, but once you get comfortable telling stories in this way, you’ll find yourself experimenting with language and structure more.
Writers often write in closets for many years, and what I mean by that, is that they write in secret. They don’t share their work with others, so they don’t get constructive criticism. And yet, even without someone critiquing you, you improve. Criticism and advice from others may help you improve faster, but it doesn’t mean you won’t improve without it just by writing, writing, writing.
The important thing is that you’re telling stories and enjoying yourself while doing it.
Bearing all that in mind, here are a few tips to make your writing seem less hollow:
Use POV - When you’re writing a description, don’t think of it as a camera lens; think of a character who is actually there, seeing, hearing, and feeling it. Don’t focus only on the visual details - include sounds, sensations, and when applicable, see if the object of description reminds your character of anything. A memory, a person, or a place.
Use Words - When it comes to word choice, think of words that convey feelings, both physical and emotional. Instead of saying something is loud, you could say that it’s ear-splitting. And when you describe pain, be specific. Don’t just say something hurts - does it burn, sting, ache, throb, ect.? When it comes to description, don’t just focus on the colors of things - imagine their shadows, and the glares from sunlight or artificial light. Describe textures, even if the character/narrator is unable to touch what they’re describing.
I don’t need to touch this to imagine it being scratchy, grainy, or bumpy. So add texture to descriptions if they feel flat.
Use Reactions - When writing is hollow, it’s often because it seems to just sit on a page, not doing anything. But when you have characters reacting to the things you’re writing, it starts to have some movement. Characters can respond to something you’re describing by smiling, speaking, or even taking action. If your character is standing in the thunderstorm you’re describing, have them react! Have them run for cover, or attempt to hide their head, or zip their jacket, or try to hail a cab. Even if your setting is less intense (like a patio on a sunny day), your character can react by removing their jacket, or drinking something cold, or fanning themselves with a menu or pamphlet.
If you couldn’t sense the theme that shows up in all three of these, it’s emotions. We read fiction to experience stories with characters. And the way we connect with characters is by becoming intimate with their emotions. Injecting emotion into your language will immediately help the story feel more real.
