Iron Soul; Blood like Fire - Heart of Glass

Broken Mirror, with a Million Shades of Light. Old, Tired and Disabled. This is my place to express myself safely.

[thusspokeell]

Our Light

Words left unsaid. To my selves. The ones I never met, the ones I consumed to move forward.

And the one who showed me a different way.

~~~~

In the night, in the light, a dream within a dream, With my eyes to the sky, I feel you staring at me… But if I awake, I know your warmth would fade to the dark… So I close my eyes, and keep you in my mind and my heart…

Though we try, I know I may never see you again… Though we try, if our time spent apart will only bring us pain Then I’ll use it to guide me toward the stars and their shine, and finally lay to rest all my regrets forevermore.

Saccharine, bittersweet, the kingdom of our dreams… In that place, tender fate delivered you unto me… With a gentle kiss, you closed the desperate lips that once said lying to yourself was fine, and brought our tale to an end…

In the light of tomorrow, I remember it all in time to know you’re gone. Even though it only brings me pain, I will walk down my path paved with regrets, broken trust, and stardust, to the world you left for us, now and always…

The pain that I felt, waking up to just myself is stronger than words can say… We are apart, but it’s important now because I will live for you anyway…

Though we try, I know I may never see you again… Though we try, if our time spent together only brings us pain Then I’ll use it to guide me through the light of stars, and finally reach your heart. For I know no matter where you are

that we all share the same sky! May the tears that I cry connect us for all time!

Bathing the World in Our Light.

[thusspokeell]

It's almost like... No matter what we tried to do, nothing ever quite worked out.

Maybe that's just how it is. But I... Just wanted everything to be okay.

I wanted to be surrounded by people that loved me, just this once, when I go.

A nice peaceful end with family and loved ones. And then we would go together to see beyond the stars, beyond the time.

But now... I can say I failed you. Sure, the board was already against me. But... I thought I could fix it.

We thought we could protect them. You promised to keep her safe. To keep them both safe. But you couldn't keep them safe from themselves.

Why does that feel like a failure? Why does everything feel like a failure? Why does it all feel like a mistake? When will it stop feeling like a mistake?

Why or why not...

[thusspokeell]

I refuse to be trapped in my home by an entitled terrorist. I will do everything in my power to remove any threats.

[qwinkle]

cast shadows and reflections

greyscale version + sketches

[youreturnhome]

anyone else up harbouring resentment until it kills them?

[thusspokeell]

This is on my mind... Because you are on my mind. I don't think I resent you... I just wish things were different.

It's not like I'm not used to it. It's been 5 cycles since I've been alone.

...

I sometimes wonder if there is a better way to do this, but I don't really have anything to guide me. I guess that is what it means to "grow up" whatever that means from each form of life, right?

...

No matter how stupid it is, I have to keep doing this. I have to keep doing something. I can't let these things go fettered deep inside anymore.

So I'll keep trying things.

[thusspokeell]

Who's Theme

@slimeheartblue Take me away Oh, how I long for the day Hey… Now can you hear me I am the wind calling your name Hey…

Take me away I´ll go wherever you stay Feels like for a lifetime My heart´s been wondering why

I can almost see the sunlight I'm reaching, it´s fading been wondering ´round for some time… My memory is hazy but then I smell the flowers and everything comes back to me serenity…

now tell me is it worth it if I keep on believing?

I can´t seem to shake this feeling tell me not to worry I´m sorry my head´s a mess I´ve been putting all my faith in all the seasons Forever and a day, I´ve almost lost the reason all of my dreams end with you and I hate to leave you so soon

Take me away Oh, how I long for the day Hey… Now can you hear me I am the wind calling your name Hey…

Take me away I´ll go wherever you stay Feels like for a lifetime My heart´s been wondering why

some nights I close my eyes and I try to listen closely I travel back in time and it´s sounds like your near me the wind chimes in to wake me it´s time to see another day my heart, it aches…

and still I keep believing in the words that you left me how long will you keep me waiting? tell me not to worry is there a happy ending?

I´ve been putting all my faith In every season forever and a day I´ve almost lost the reason all of my dreams end with you and I hate to leave you so soon

take me away Oh, how I long for the day Hey… Now can you hear me I am the wind calling your name Hey…

Take me away I´ll go wherever you stay Feels like for a lifetime My heart´s been wondering why…

~ Sapphire ~

[thusspokeell]

Hey Stardust... Your wish came true. I told you I'd see it through.

It was... About what we expected. Theory 9.

It's about what you thought you'd feel too. Still, I wish you were here to see it. I wish you...

We would've gone a lot places together, kid. I had a lot I wanted to show you.

-claps hands together- Ah. But hey, I'll keep watch and try to knock a few more off the list. But... The biggest one is taken care of now.

... Sorry I kinda mucked around. This has been harder than I expected. And you know! Your rules are really hard to follow. And I... Am not really suited to this. It's not exactly fair to ask me to do things I've never done before.

... Is what I would say if I was complaining. I'm just apprehensive. And dealing with your misgivings.

... My misgivings too. Because you see, it goes both ways right? Mine is yours and yours became mine.

I'll keep our promise.

If I see Cherish out there, I'll tell her you said hi.

[thusspokeell]

Mod Descriptions

You know what I miss? I miss when people wrote their own Mod Description pages. The amount of AI slop Mod page descriptions I've read in the past year is too damn high.

I guess I get it. Not everyone likes to write. But... I dunno. I can tell you didn't edit the content the AI spewed out to you.

At least try to edit it? I dunno.

[thusspokeell]

Ah shit it's Pride Month. So I've been spending some time thinking about presentation.

Like how we present ourselves. How I present myself. And what it means to be masc or femme.

Gender is how we interact with the world under social factors. But that doesn't define Gender itself, right? I don't know.

What I do know is that some moments, I feel powerful and masc. I feel confident and capable. Like I can take charge and force my way through.

And I have moments when I want to be appreciated for my grace and beauty. The physical parts of me that are cute or alluring. The mannerisms I might have when expressing euphoric joy.

But are these things that define one gender or the other? I don't know if anyone can say for certain. But what I do know ... Is that who I am is always constant. How I feel and present myself changes with the necessity of the situation.

I have pride in my ability to walk any road, carry myself in most situations with class and poise.

I am perfect as I am, whatever form that takes. Always has been.

It just sucks the rest of y'all can't keep up with me. :3

[shiftyfoxgames]

Someone should make a Starfield PS5 Gundam or otherwise Mecha mod, that allows you to build mech suits.

Send post

[thusspokeell]

Doing everything I can to manifest this

...

prayer emoji

[rounni]

[thusspokeell]

Prover

@slimeheartblue You might not remember this, a lot has happened over the years. Certainly not something from 6 years ago. But as you know... I forget nothing. Six years ago, Val sent this to you. As you know, the Alters that served as a coalition to protect the Core were derived by the aspects of Me, ELL. Our words still hold true. And so I say it to you once again. I will sing this song out to you once more.

~~~~~

I stepped on the shadowland, there is no paradise Sappy old remedies, uncertain, lost in the night But still I will go up the river I'll keep clinging on to this ladder Till I reach the day that my tears shine I just need a sign I just need a light

In hopes that this song will ring out, on even the darkest nights In hopes that your dreams will live on, not tangled or lost from sight Don't you look back, all the footsteps you took are left in the past, afar Don't you forget or let go of the path that brought you to where you are

I'm the Prover, I am the Prover I am the one that will challenge this world, the journey that never ends I'm the Prover, I am the voice of life And I'll be with you, when it rings, when it begins I'm the ship that carries on, through thick or thin

The sky pours it's iron rain, it's a new start beginning, I pray And I know you understand, you were lonely, like me that day

But still, I will go up the river In hopes that one day we'll be together The fire of my love burns so brightly I pray it's your sign I pray it's your light

In hopes that this song will ring out, on even the darkest nights In hopes that your dreams will live on, not tangled or lost from sight Don't you look back, all the footsteps you took are left in the past, afar Don't you forget or let go of the path that led you to where you are

If you can’t find your way (I won’t give up on you) Everything is not lost (Cause I'm standing with you)

And though I can never go back to the world that I made with you I'm here for you I'll live for you

I'm the Prover, I am the Prover I am the one that will challenge this world, the journey that never ends I am the Prover, oh I am the voice of life And I'll be with you, when it rings, when it begins The ship that carries on, through thick or thin Forever, sailing on until the end

[thusspokeell]

No spoons today. No sleep, DKA and bad nightmares.

Today is a wash, so wake me up when it's over.

[discount-supervillain]

[dumgumgum]

* right, this is where we draw pictures, and don’t kill each other!

[thusspokeell]

Akuma no Ko

A bullet of iron is proof of what's justice Whenever I shot, I felt like I could be a hero So close your eyes now, and touch it with your hands The evil is there, with the same shape and the warmth inside you know

I'm not good enough, oh? Is he better for you? Is it all because a wall was standing in your way, Don't cry cause we're born here, the destiny that we own It all doesn't matter Because we are all free!

If we could be like birds and fly up with our wings We could go anywhere we wanted to go But if there's not a home that we can all return to We can't leave this place at all

I can't just sit and be content with living now

This world is cruel, filled with endless pain But even so, I will love you every day No matter what I must sacrifice I'll keep you safe, I alone will pay the price Even if it's all just a mistake, I won't doubt the path that I must take I know what's really right, I know it in my heart So I'll believe myself and I will fight

I'm watching the skies pour, like iron rain falling It looked like a scene from a movie that you'd see on screen But war is so stupid, so violent and useless With countries I don't know, and I don't even care at all So why do I hate it? Why can't I ignore it? Why can't I push back all the darkness deep inside my heart? I can't understand it, and I can't explain it We're all contradictions, we're all hypocrites here!

And even if you could interpret all my words, The true meaning of them will never be found The only thing you can believe with all your heart is the world here, the one you see

I can't just sit and be content with living now

This world is cruel, filled with endless pain But even so, I will love you every day No matter what I must sacrifice I'll keep you safe, I alone will pay the price Shadows of the chosen ones today Bodies of the fallen ones astray I've realized through it all, that deep inside of me Was just a evil child all along Behind my righteousness, beyond the sacrifice, Was just an evil child in my heart

[thusspokeell]

Perfect World

Because I see the moon reflecting upon the waters, I begin to tremble. The light above my head only looks down upon this…

Even wounded, weakened beasts… …must decide themselves whether to live or to retreat.

The sky above is endless. But only the light is generous. At any time, I will be watching over you. In the Perfect World called "Love".

Whenever we overcome harsh times, we sparkle. Unaware of this, with each choice we make, we gain confidence.

Those who sleep at the bottom of the ocean are like pearls. Let us wash and polish them; bringing out their true shine.

The endless sky clears above this world. The snow melts away and becomes streams. At any time, the courage to stand and fight… …rests inside of your soul.

In the Perfect World called "Love".

[thusspokeell]

My migraines are back. Been having acute episodes where I lose vision in my astigmatic eye.

I need to get my house in order.