For a while, Elyse had distanced herself from the wilderness. She'd ducked her head into her studies, finished up her degrees, focused on residency and her job. Made a family. But there was something always nagging in the back of her mind about the others, a need to seek them out. Some of them were quicker to come around than others. She understood wanting to shut it out. And yet...the wilderness still whispered.
"I thought I heard that. Small world, I guess. We should get coffee before shift sometime." So many of them had stayed around home when they could have gone far, far away from all possible attachments and memories. At the mention of a child Elyse's smile pulls wider, true. "A daughter. Me too, just a little older at six. I wonder if they'll be in the same class? It feels like Ellie just started..." Elyse tries to remember the names on the class roster, the parents that has been trying to hide their sideways glances when they learned of her past. That, or it was all in her head. "The soccer thing is ... tricky. I haven't really steered her one way or the other, I figure if she's interested in it I won't be able to stop her from heading in that direction, too. I just wish it was easier to keep her from all that, you know? As they grow up...how much are they going to hear? How much will they want to know?"
coffee. lucia needed to remind herself that the offer was just coffee. a beverage brewed by roasted beans. soothing to most. energizing. there was an invisible string tied somewhere to the offer...to the woman in front of her. to the eye, harmless. to lucia... well, there was no true defining of what she always felt creeping upon her. denial was a better life. her eyes avoided marking reminders on her body. out of sight out of mind. to her, in that state felt safe.
"it is a possibility. i'll have to have colette keep an eye out for ellie. drop offs are usually quick for me." it was tough to not allow her own distance to effect her daughter. luce just couldn't find herself to ease into the whispers. the moment they began, she'd leave. "can't say i'm on any booster list.." even now, lucia felt as if eyes of patrons were on them. even if reality made that sense false. the wilderness cracked a deep part of the woman.
"has ellie asked about...anything pertaining?" colette had. there was curiosity in the lifted skin that scared her mother's body. questions of why lucia felt negatively about flying anywhere. her senses of panic. the rooted triggers. children were innocent to worry and fear, and lucia hated how much she cut off from her daughter because of it. therapy had been an outlet that never felt tangible to peace. "it's all a tough navigation."
"No it makes sense." Hawthorn said, disappointed in himself that he couldn't help out with something so simple as helping with the food. "I wasn't trying to say you weren't having emotions. I'm sorry. I just meant that I think it's brave that you're doing it." He sighed and finally turned around. "I think Bambi was a boy. I don't know I remember the antlers but not much about the movie itself." He said with a small laugh, thinking about something as simple as a childhood movie. "But I think the bones should be okay? I mean people are use to chicken wings and things like ribs right?"
tearing through the tender meat, lucia felt her body begin to stiffen. being defensive was a reflection of something she saw in her parents at a young age. tense. deafening silence. everything she mentally promised she'd stray from. having caught herself stirring within it, she slowly retracted with an exhaled breath. "it's fine." she assured tightly. there wasn't any need for apology. she knew hawthorn was just trying to help in a way he could. "everything here is just really..." tense. "it's a lot." she softened over her shoulder.
"would you like to break apart some of those herbs." not much. it was a gamble to trust what was truly edible. "we can cook the meat with them to remove some of that wild-game taste." hawthorns laughter was a sound lucia needed. the weather around her seemed to change. "i've never hunted before, have you?" connecting was a way she was searching to continue that ease that hawthorn brought. it was best to keep his stomach from spoiling too. they both needed distraction. "can't say i've really seen bambi before either..." just stories heard. "might have had a book...but who really knows." memories felt so distant when the reflection of trauma was all around them.
Elyse didn't really want to watch the way Lucia went about handling dinner, preparing the animal they had managed to catch in order to make a meal for all of them. She liked animals as much as the next person and hated the idea of having to kill them, make them suffer - just so they could fill their bellies. But they had to do it. It was necessary for survival. There was only so much they could repurpose in the edible plants and berries they might be able to scrape together.
"Its um...Its okay," she murmured, even though it really wasn't. But she couldn't seem to look away even if she wanted to. She had an almost clinical fascination with it, peeling back the skin to reveal the muscle and meat and bone beneath. "It might uh...might be easier to cut through the joints."
the stars were counted lucky when lucia's eyes saw the liver was clear of any white lesions. no spots of danger to place the meat between their lips. "the joints — right." a curt nod. elyse cleared some of the fog that pooled the blondes mind. there was a mess before her. stained sticky. pressing the tip of the knife, "everything will be of use." she thought rationally. not slipping into the delusion of hope that rescue would be running to their feet by dusk. "do you want to clean..." the skin — lucia looked over to the stripped pile. " a metallic gamey scent felt continuously seeping into her pores. lucia took a small breath, certain that there was a comfortability with elyse helping when most couldn't mask reaction if they tried. one team member ran away crying at the sight of the animal lay limp on the wooden slab. lucia didn't love it either, but she was fine with stepping up to make the tougher actions. the alternative was to starve.
"You think? I feel like I always get excited about the snacks getting handed out on flights. But come to think of it, a little packet of peanuts are the less exciting types of snacks...Have you ever been on a flight with those uh...cookies? The - what are they called? Whatever - those are dope on a long flight." Aspen knew they were babbling, but it was better to babble on about nonsense then truly consider the circumstances they found themselves in.
Their head bobs in agreement to Lucia's suggestion. "Yeah - that's a good call. Maybe we can find a notebook or...something - write it all down to keep track. Or maybe we're lucky and no one has an allergy to worry about." Wouldn't that suck? Surviving a plane crash just to be taken out by a peanut? "Do you have any allergies, Luce?"
"Yeah, why is caviar so popular? Isn't it just fish eggs or something? I'd rather eat a peanut..." They mumble, shaking their head. "But it would be cool if they have a fancy food cart or something. Like, full sub sandwiches? Or like, hot pasta and sauce. Some fancy ass soup." Maybe they shouldn't keep going on about food, they were making themselves hungry. There was no saying how long it would be before they got out of here.
peanuts were dry. earthy. left an unpleasant film on the tongue, and pieces stuck in teeth. nothing in which felt enticing to lucia. her nose wouldn't stick up to them if it was what hunger desired. a picky palate was silenced for survival. there was no map of destiny laid out in front of them, but the blonde was certain whatever was to come, she'd survive this. "we fell from the sky." the obvious. it was still shocking to think about. "talk about nuts."
who said the french didn't have any humor? even if lucia had skirted over a dry tone. she imagined the american within her kept her loose from anything too poised. attention pulled, "biscoff cookies?" the back of lucia's tongue began to water. "god, i love cookie butter." she sighed now understanding how weak she was to a small snack. easily won over by buttery biscuits. "i had a notebook in my bag." she journaled. sometimes wrote terrible things about some of her teammates she observed. how whiny some of them could be. how many times edith looked like she wanted to punch something, or kiss them? confusing. she noted how many times hazel's eyes got teary from her inability to take criticism. girl seemed terrified of living.
fingers reached above to a tattered piece of aviation. "nothing but a pollen allergy. afraid it's mellow. though, i once inhaled a dandelion sharply and it nearly knocked me down." curiosity. "you?" fingers flicked the material again as if her mind was working out how to make use of it. if need be. looking to them at the mention of caviar, "don't make me ill." she warned gently. fish eggs. "who in their right mind discovered to eat such a thing....and then the cost of it? completely feral.... which, you're going to make me if you keep carrying on about food."
''It's okay,'' it totally wasn't - but the circumstances they were in, they had no choice. It was either kill or be killed. They had to eat and after all the plane snacks had been devoured until the very last peanut, they were on their own. The hack into the game was awful, a noise she'd never forget, a noise that had worked its way under her skin, into her dreams, and yet she couldn't not do it either. Her wrist had gotten used to the weight of the knife, to the swing and strength it took to cut a rabbit's head off. To work her way around the guts and what else. ''I can handle it,'' Cherie nodded, mostly wording it to herself, ''but I definitely wouldn't kiss you here, the smell is too horrid for that.'' An attempt at a joke, but with the whole situation going on, there was not really a smile to be found. ''Want me to do the next one? We can take turns.''
"a brave one." lucia playfully snored as if their activity was hefty with boredom. as if what busied their hands was completely mundane to their lives. lucia could never recall a time where she had ever imagined her hands stained in such a way, but here they were. she'd always been unafraid. unflinched to whatever the world set in front of her. no path, dark or haunting left her quivering to take a step through. this was no different. "doesn't kissing muffle the breath?" blood beneath nail beds, lucia tossed unnecessary remnants to the side of the flat wood. maybe they'd be useful for something else — something of which her mind couldn't process yet. "besides, red is a passionate color." the wood they worked on was soaked of it, their hands tainted. "knock yourself out, darling."
Hawthorn wanted to help out more, feeling like he wasn't doing much and frankly he knew he needed to keep busy to stop thinking of everything that has gone wrong. So he tried to help out with preparing the food and the minute Lucia dug into the meat he instantly regretted it. He could feel himself getting sick and immediately turned around to try to catch some breaths. "How do you do it?" Hawthorn practically whispered while regaining his nerves to turn around. "I mean I know we have to eat but god this is horrible."
the sound of hawthorns panicked breath was calming to lucia. grounded her focus. "somebody has to do it." spoken simply. "im not fully devoid of emotion. im just sure if it was left to you...no offense, we'd be here all night, and there would be some speech about not wanting to eat bambi and his friends... or was bambi a girl?" no matter how twisted the actions were, they needed to eat. eat. or be eaten. "you're pale as a ghost." looking over her shoulder. fingers worked to clean the meat as best as she could. "think i should pull most of the bones out — or do you think people will eat around them?"
Elyse knew that it wasn't easy, digging up the past. But she had never thought of seeing the other girls, the other survivors, as digging up the past. Instead she wanted to see them as family even more than old friends - because they were bound by something more than just simple friendships of old. They had done so much together to survive, held so many secrets, relied so heavily on one another... she wanted to keep those close.
"It's so good to see you, Luce," Elyse greeted the other woman with a warm smile, even though the energy begin given off wasn't quite as friendly. It was harder for some of them than it was for others, and Elyse wanted to respect those boundaries - while also holding onto the relationships that made her who she was today. "I wasn't sure if you'd come. It has been awhile since we've talked. How have you been?"
luce held uncertainty about her appearance as well. thought she had years stacked upon years of folding herself away from the past. to stay tucked in the shadows of her former self, and the life that came with it. the woman was timid with however the conversation would go. she could hold her own strength, but it was the inner damage she was scared of. how the night would grow and leave her awake with old wounds. "awhile, yes." it had been.
luce had avoided routes that would lead her to this one. face to face. elyse. she looked good. life had graced their later years, but tragedy always felt near. like static to her finger tips. "you know, i work at the rehabilitation center down from the hospital." how close she'd been for years, yet kept her distance. lucia supposed she finally gave in to what felt like inevitability. a small smile tugged, just slightly. "think i've seen you at a distance a few times." faint recognitions. "what can i say? i've been well." better than their past. "i have a daughter." a topic that softened the woman. "five. just took interest in soccer. you can imagine the whispers from other parents." as if lucia was some plague. "tried to get her to gravitate to ballet but she doesn't seem interested in keeping her knees dirt free."
Maia kept telling herself that she didn't mean to run into Lucia. Ignoring the fact that since seeing Hazel on accident that she started thinking about everyone, a part of her wanting to reach out to others more and more as each day passed. She watched Lucia's face get paler and Maia had to admit that she felt a little bad, knowing she probably wasn't much better. "It's good to see you too Lucia. How are you?" Maia sat down across from her, making sure not to make too much sudden movements. After all they all were creatures of habit and quick to action. "Have you seen much of the others?"
she only ever felt the answer to how she was doing would always be 'good' — for they were always better than what they once were. out in the wilderness. enduring life or facing death. the horrors never felt like a distant memory. lucia had done her best to bury them deep down. avoid. come into contact with a form of delusion. seeing maia felt like a shovel to all that was buried. resurfacing the bad, but seeing her did feel good. "i've been well." she finally answered.
it wasn't a lie. life had given her the importance of a daughter. someone to care for and let go of her own self. "would you like a coffee?" hands unclasped from her lap to rest on the table top, her chest slowly depleted. "or a glass of wine?" an offering to ease whatever tension she was beginning to feel. her scars. they burned from the memory. "no. i haven't." sometimes luce had wished she had. "sometimes i thought it would be too painful to see the others." — and you. "not that i hadn't ever wanted to. i just — felt i needed an identity away from...all of that."
"not the prettiest sight." — she knew. "but do try to not projectile all over the dinner." not a sauce she called for while preparing the food. the scene was barbaric. the ripping. the cutting. skinning. the noises erupted from lucia's actions had been unsettling, and her hands were stained with the result of it all. "if you can't stomach it...maybe take a step away." shock could lock the eye sight. glue it directly to what seemed horrifying. lucia had done this very preparation repeatedly now that she became desensitized to the brutality. they needed to eat. she'd help make sure of it.
like seeing a ghost, lucia felt her skin turn cold. surely her skin was stripped of all color. pale as porcelain. lashes dared to blink. dared to think this was a reality she was forced back in. "good to see you. it's been..." an eternity of trying to bury our past. "awhile." feet surged with the need to walk to the door. right out of it. turn her back on another chapter rather than write it. what was there to say? it only felt like ripping wounds open, and creating salt mounds. secrets were better kept safe when they weren't so confronting with one another. deciding to stay put, lucia let her back fall against the chair. though her stomach began to knot, she refused to let it crack her outer shell. staying put felt rooted — knowing she couldn't turn her back on any of them. not forever.
This was not anything Aspen had been prepared for. Cheering for the girls until their voice was hoarse? Definitely. Throwing Fern up on their shoulders in celebration when she scored a goal? You bet. Watching them all win nationals? No doubt.
Instead the plane had gone down, they were rather certain their shoulder was dislocated, or broken, or something (could a shoulder be broken?), and Fern...
They hadn't quite figured out what to think about Fern, other than to not think about her at all. Not when the rest of them were still getting their bearings and picking up the pieces. Not when it felt like the sky was falling all around them and they needed some way to make sense of it. So instead, they busied themselves with finding supplies and maybe figure out what they were supposed to do about their shoulder.
"Does anyone even really like plane peanuts?" They questioned out loud. "No one...no one around here has an allergy, right? That would be kinda unfortunate if we find the snack cart...Do planes like this even have snack carts? Maybe they have a whole buffet in there somewhere..."
lucia wasn't even fond of peanuts. the butter made her nose scrunch at just it's scent. she feared survival leading to ingesting such a fowl food. the only positive note she could place was that it was a solid source of protein. glancing over to them, "seems like a little snack trinket that people give out but no one truly wants." hands slipped into jacket pockets. there was a wrapper there, her fingers crinkled it between. a motion she did often as of recent. a small distraction to occupy her mind.
"we should probably note everyone's allergies." lucia couldn't handle anymore death. the site was stained with it — also a memorial of what they initially survived. what would be worse....a sudden death from impact...or starving to death? "i would imagine something swanky as this probably has caviar somewhere...or whatever else rich entitled people like to guzzle down."
To run with the wolf was to run in the s h a d o w s,
⸻ Lucia Hubert.
the dark ray of life, survival and i n s t i n c t. 🐾
PINTEREST.🐾
🐾GENERAL.
FULL NAME. Lucia 'luce' 'lucy' Hubert
DATE OF BIRTH. 10/21
ZODIAC. libra
GENDER. cis female
PRONOUNS. she / her
SEXUAL ORIENTATION. bisexual
TEAM NUMBER: #9
TEAM POSITION: striker
OCCUPATION. physical therapist
🐾BACKGROUND.
PLACE OF BIRTH. new york
PARENTS. gabriel, and camille hubert
SIBLINGS. 1 brother, 1 sister.
CHILDREN. 1 daughter - colette.
**note. // lucia is american - french.
🐾PERSONALITY.
TRAITS. strength is quiet, an observer, isn't afraid to make tough decisions. suffers within rather outwardly. emotionally intelligent. gentle but firm. not interested in being admired. rather rebuild than retreat.
SKILLS. basic first aid skills, good at descalating conflict, knows how to stay composed, good at shelter building, food preparation.
LIKES. minimalist warm interiors, pressed flowers, wax seals on letters, sterile space, digesting thoughts, intellect, rain on windows, swimming, cold plunges, soft music, long showers, moths, cigarettes,
DISLIKES. unknown callers, her own scars, tight spaces, broken pieces, artificial lighting, tension, overconsumption, oversharing to those that don't appreciate.
SONGS: running with the wolves - aurora, timefighter- lucy dacus, thick skull - paramore feat. julien baker.
🐾BEFORE.
— before lucia was born her parents immigrated from france to new york striving for a better life. one full of opportunity, and change. lucia is the middle child to her two siblings. the children were raised to speak both french, and english. proper manners was a must. lucia was raised to always be more mature than most of the other children her age. it made making friends sometimes a challenge. her parents started her soccer career at a young age to help. they always feared she'd turn out introverted, and alone. the sport was a relief to branch her out of that quietness. lucia's father passed away to illness when she was a teenager. this resulted in her taking a caregiving role to her siblings, and often her mother who seemed lost after. continuing her soccer career had been a breathable escape from personal responsibility.
🐾SURVIVAL.
— her instincts are often calm. a great mediator when tensions are high. lucia doesn't fall squeamish. she steps up when decisions feel tough amongst the group — even if the decisions are full of raw emotion. **note: lucia was attacked by a wolf after having wandered at night after hearing noises. she has visible scars starting from her neck, down her shoulder, and on her arm. takes the groups slipped sanity seriously. observes others behaviors, and often feels off about their surroundings. lucia helps build shelter, prep food, and tends to wounds. her mind likes to absorb quietly.
🐾AFTER.
— shortly after falling back into society, lucia tried to forget everything that happened. there was a deep need to have connection outside of what she had endured. she met someone. they'd been close friends who began to fill a void within one another. they never married, or called anything official — lucia became pregnant. (now her daughter is five.) her occupation is as a physical therapist. it often takes her mind back to the days in the wilderness and mending what tried to often break them. she often lingers on the past. some of it is suffering with guilt, the rest almost makes her feel alive — as life after has felt cold, strained. like most, lucia can never reach a comfort in sleep. it's always disruptive. for this she takes sleep-aid. she has a lot of phantom pain where her scars are. she often goes swimming as a form of therapy.
kianamaiart
theartofmadeline
turnnoffyourmind
