My dentist for most of my life is a bright, bubbly woman who goes the extra mile to make her patients feel at ease. Her staff is equally amazing with excellent teamwork. When I first started seeing her, I couldn't tell who was the dentist and who was the dental assistant. She's my family dentist. I don't just mean that my parents and sibs go to her; my aunts, uncles and all my cousins do, too.
Anyway, D has been raving about his new dentist and has been encouraging me to go. This guy graduated with top honors at NYU's dental school, did research with some world-renowned dental implantologist and was an assistant professor at said school. My first suspicion is: why did he choose to open up his own clinic vs. getting tenure at NYU?? Hmm, very curious... Anyway, he did great work with D's dents, so I thought I'd try out his clinic and see what all the buzz was about.
I had the usual cleaning, with a consultation for wisdom teeth removal and told him that I have trouble with getting lockjaw sometimes when I eat. When I'm stressed, I tend to clench my teeth which puts some strain on the jaw. It was becoming a problem, and maybe even causing my jawline to become a little crooked.
I expected him to give me some advice on how I could relieve the pain whenever it comes up. Instead, he brought up that D was having the same problem and that whenever it happens to him I should make sure that I tend to his needs by massaging his jaw joints and reminding him to take ibuprofen if it gets really bad.
Uh, okay? This was my appointment, not D's. Sure, I can apply all of the above to myself but I don't need consultation on how to be a good girlfriend. WTF. I'm paying you to give me your professional advice and instead you talk about someone else's problems.
I admit this is a little far-fetched but, what if D and I had chosen to NOT share any medically related ailments with one another? He totally just violated HIPAA. This isn't as bad as a list of his other patients displayed on a screen hanging right above me as I sat in the room waiting for him.
The thing I found most troubling was that he didn't treat his staff very nicely. They were all young Chinese women, and every time they did something wrong he'd give them a condescending glare and shake his head. To this, the dental assistant would smile nervously and continue to do their work without any kind of constructive coaching. They were scared of him, and it made me wonder if I should be, too.
For the most part, Dr. L was nice to me and answered all of my questions. Simply put, he's good at what he does. He's just a huge asshole.
After my appointment, I told D what happened. He thinks it's just a cultural difference. He says Dr. L is just a really traditional Chinese guy, which means he's an asshole (D's words, not mine!). Dr. L probably thinks I'm just some California bimbo who doesn't know how to treat a man right, so he thought he was doing me a favor by telling me what I should do for D when he's in pain. Like I need relationships advice from a guy who is obviously bitter at his choice of profession. I guess in their culture, coming off as a bitter asshole is permissible as long as you have the right credentials and do decent work.
Ok, I get that. Understandable. Just don't expect me to come back. I, for one, like knowing that my dentist has compassion for his staff and patients. I also like knowing that my dentist is vested in my dental health as well as my partner's. Thanks, but no thanks.