pasta-llama

She/her https://archiveofourown.org/users/shamalongadingdong/

[mimivisb]

I've been reading Heated Rivalry fics since December and I thought today was a good day to look through my bookmarks and recommend some of the best One-shots I've read in this Fandom.

Below are 16 recommendations to honestly incredible fics, some of them are really popular and you might already know them but we have over 20K fics in this tag (insane) so I think this list might still be useful for someone.

(Some of these might fit in more than one category, but I choose the one that I belive better represented the fic)

☆ Character study

Compatible by jewelledfoxes

Explicit / 18K / One-shot

Ilya’s blood has always run hotter than Shane's.

Or: Yay Hollanov free use! Everybody cheered!

(It's about sex but it's also about their relationship and I have read it several times totally recommend it)

The Performer by toxotes

Explicit / 14K / One-shot

Sometimes they're curled up on the bed together afterwards and Shane runs his hands up and down llya's body, rhythmic and smooth, touching just to touch. Ilya stunning in the literal sense of the word: Shane is paralyzed by him, struck dumb. Desire may never be a problem here, but understanding is: Ilya feels distant and incomprehensible to Shane.

A cross-section of Shane Hollander's sex life

(It deals with a lot of complicated feeling about sex and attraction and Shane growing up and accepting himself)

Us until You by chaentics

Mature / 10K / One-shot

you, plural.

or: Svetlana has Ilya, and then she does not.

(Svetlana POV on ilya during the whole hollanov situationship)

My 30-Days of Anon HR Freak Shit by Anonymous

Not a One-shot but a series of One-shots (kinda)

(It's really filthy but has really good writing and there's delightful character studies in most of the fics)

☆ AUs that explore Shane and Ilya's relationship with a slight twist (might include magic)

don't leave me this way by frenchleaves

Mature / 36K / One-shot

ilya gets hit on the head during the emergency landing in Tampa and thus begins his week-long stint as a ghost. whatever bad thing that can happen, the proceeds to do so. it's definitely not fun for ilya, and definitely not fun for shane either.

(It's a lovely read and the summary explains it pretty well, you should read this)

for the bible tells me so by vividblossom (dirtymudblood)

Explicit / 17K / One-shot

Shane Hollander struggles to reconcile his faith with his undeniable attraction to a man.

Or a case study in Lust.

(Shane featuring Religious Guilt because why not?)

☆ Time travel (yes it has its own category)

fall in love again and again by Ehlihr (ehlihr)

Mature / 24K / One-shot (kinda)

Chapter 1: Shane wakes up on the same Tuesday over and over again after leaving Rozanov in a rush. Tuesday is his second least favourite day of the week, so he's not really happy about it.

Chapter 2: Ilya notices Shane acts strangely. He just never remembers

(Not a fan of the groundhog day trope but this fic made me reconsider that)

circle back season by Anonymous

Teen / 9K / One-shot

At the cottage, Shane and llya meet eighteen year old Shane Hollander. This is really only a surprise for one of them. Everyone handles it as well as can be expected.

(The time traveler's wife AU basically)

nothing's ever the way that i remember it (i don't want a violent end) by queenofseventeen

Mature / 31K / One-shot

Quietly, in a voice that couldn't disguise his pain, Ilya said, "I already chose you, Hollander." Then so silently that it was barely different from breathing. "Sometimes I wish I hadn't.

(a.k.a llya expresses regret about choosing Shane and Shane gets sent back in time to fix it only in this universe Ilya never came onto him at all.)

(Shane time travels and decides to choose ilya in a different universe)

☆ Hollanov getting outed in different ways

for richer or poorer by lowkey_existential_despair

Explicit / 14K / One-shot

There was a twitter post. A video. The caption said #pissgate. The video started playing automatically, and Ilya saw the nondescript white tile of the Metros locker room, and then the camera peered around a corner, and there he was. There Shane was. It played just long enough for llya to hear himself-say it-and Shane- piss on me. please-before his phone fell from his nerveless fingers and shattered on the concrete.

(I was put off by the watersport tag for a long time until I finally read it and all I have to say it that it deserves to be read even if you aren't into that)

me and my wild boy, and all of this wild joy by colacatenjoyer

Not rated / 4K / One-shot

All in all, it could have been worse.

It's not like you can measure the full length of Shane's dick, or see the exact moment that llya swallows down the mess of spit and his own cum from Shane's mouth after he sucked the life out of him.

It's just, well, everything else.

(A video gets leaked and they deal with the aftermath)

☆ Cute and hilarious and kinda weird (in a good way)

a load of lies by badmetaphors

Gen / 5K / One-shot

BREAKING: Local man gets pavlov'd by the KonMari method, more at 11.

(Featuring Centaurs and Ilya's laundry kink)

Baby By Me by Anonymous

Teen / 7K / One-shot

In which a single misunderstanding spirals into becoming the MHL's greatest secret: Shane Hollander is pregnant.

(Exactly as described in the summary, hockey boys are incredibly stupid in this and it's hilarious)

Teenage Dirtbag by Nullevoy

Teen / 5K / One-shot (but it's part of a series)

Clips and photos of llya's teenage years in Russia get leaked

(Teenage ilya is a menace that wears tracksuits everywhere)

Impacto by ilyacruzeirense

Mature / 16K / One-shot

When Canada's hockey star, Shane Hollander, is your twin brother, it's expected that llya Rozanov becomes part of your life; just not in the way that the public may think.

Or, 5 times that Hudson, Shane's twin, notices something more than a rivalry was happening + 1 one time Ilya finds out that Shane has a brother

(Super weird concept but absolutely fantastic fic 100% would recommend)

Dinner Tonight? by FriPie

Explicit / 15K / One-shot

There was nothing standard about Shane and Ilya's relationship, so it really shouldn't have been so surprising that they had their first date over a decade after meeting each other.

It also shouldn't be surprising that it took roughly five minutes before it turned into a competition.

(It's just them having a first date after everything, so it's really cute)

[aslongasitsblack]

shane becomes convinced cliff and ilya are having an affair because they keep sending each other shit like ‘let me know when you’re back in boston big boy i want to slob on that monster dong’ and finally shane confronts him and ilya is like no baby this is how straight men talk to each other when they’re convinced each other are straight and shane’s like i have never said anything like that to anyone and ilyas like well except to me ;) and shane punches him in the arm and shows him his texts from hayden and they are all like ‘Hey Shane ☺️ thank you for sending Jackie mothers day flowers. We appreciate you so much man.’ and ilyas like shane. this is so fucking gay

[bloominflowers]

i guess i like these guys a lot 💆‍♀️

[thoughtportal]

cleaning along desire paths

[lady-griffin]

Fantastic advice!! And something I’ve realized I’ve been doing for myself these last 6-7 years, even though I never had a name for it.

Seriously, this is such a great way to go about organizing your home.

I really can’t express how much easier your life can be when you accept that there’s no objectively right way to do this kind of stuff, especially when you let go of the idea that it’s a moral failure when you can’t do something the “correct way” nor is it evidence of you being lazy.

Working with (leaning into) your natural limits and instincts can do wonders for you in your day-to-day life.

[luulapants]

25 ways to be a little more punk in 2025

Cut fast fashion - buy used, learn to mend and/or make your own clothes, buy fewer clothes less often so you can save up for ethically made quality

Cancel subscriptions - relearn how to pirate media, spend $10/month buying a digital album from a small artist instead of on Spotify, stream on free services since the paid ones make you watch ads anyway

Green your community - there's lots of ways to do this, like seedbombing or joining a community garden or organizing neighborhood trash pickups

Be kind - stop to give directions, check on stopped cars, smile at kids, let people cut you in line, offer to get stuff off the high shelf, hold the door, ask people if they're okay

Intervene - learn bystander intervention techniques and be prepared to use them, even if it feels awkward

Get closer to your food - grow it yourself, can and preserve it, buy from a farmstand, learn where it's from, go fishing, make it from scratch, learn a new ingredient

Use opensource software - try LibreOffice, try Reaper, learn Linux, use a free Photoshop clone. The next time an app tries to force you to pay, look to see if there's an opensource alternative

Make less trash - start a compost, be mindful of packaging, find another use for that plastic, make it a challenge for yourself!

Get involved in local politics - show up at meetings for city council, the zoning commission, the park district, school boards; fight the NIMBYs that always show up and force them to focus on the things impacting the most vulnerable folks in your community

DIY > fashion - shake off the obsession with pristine presentation that you've been taught! Cut your own hair, use homemade cosmetics, exchange mani/pedis with friends, make your own jewelry, duct tape those broken headphones!

Ditch Google - Chromium browsers (which is almost all of them) are now bloated spyware, and Google search sucks now, so why not finally make the jump to Firefox and another search like DuckDuckGo? Or put the Wikipedia app on your phone and look things up there?

Forage - learn about local edible plants and how to safely and sustainably harvest them or go find fruit trees and such accessible to the public.

Volunteer - every week tutoring at the library or once a month at the humane society or twice a year serving food at the soup kitchen, you can find something that matches your availability

Help your neighbors - which means you have to meet them first and find out how you can help (including your unhoused neighbors), like elderly or disabled folks that might need help with yardwork or who that escape artist dog belongs to or whether the police have been hassling people sleeping rough

Fix stuff - the next time something breaks (a small appliance, an electronic, a piece of furniture, etc.), see if you can figure out what's wrong with it, if there are tutorials on fixing it, or if you can order a replacement part from the manufacturer instead of trashing the whole thing

Mix up your transit - find out what's walkable, try biking instead of driving, try public transit and complain to the city if it sucks, take a train instead of a plane, start a carpool at work

Engage in the arts - go see a local play, check out an art gallery or a small museum, buy art from the farmer's market

Go to the library - to check out a book or a movie or a CD, to use the computers or the printer, to find out if they have other weird rentals like a seed library or luggage, to use meeting space, to file your taxes, to take a class, to ask question

Listen local - see what's happening at local music venues or other events where local musicians will be performing, stop for buskers, find a favorite artist, and support them

Buy local - it's less convenient than online shopping or going to a big box store that sells everything, but try buying what you can from small local shops in your area

Become unmarketable - there are a lot of ways you can disrupt your online marketing surveillance, including buying less, using decoy emails, deleting or removing permissions from apps that spy on you, checking your privacy settings, not clicking advertising links, and...

Use cash - go to the bank and take out cash instead of using your credit card or e-payment for everything! It's better on small businesses and it's untraceable

Give what you can - as capitalism churns on, normal shmucks have less and less, so think about what you can give (time, money, skills, space, stuff) and how it will make the most impact

Talk about wages - with your coworkers, with your friends, while unionizing! Stop thinking about wages as a measure of your worth and talk about whether or not the bosses are paying fairly for the labor they receive

Think about wealthflow - there are a thousand little mechanisms that corporations and billionaires use to capture wealth from the lower class: fees for transactions, interest, vendor platforms, subscriptions, and more. Start thinking about where your money goes, how and where it's getting captured and removed from our class, and where you have the ability to cut off the flow and pass cash directly to your fellow working class people

[queer-as-city-folk]

I mostly talk about transit and local politics but seriously do as much of this as you can, it really does help

[wilwheaton]

[radhexx]

This is great especially for women in the workplace who have learned kinda self-demeaning patterns of behavior in order to not be seen as a bitch. I started communicating this way in my VERY male dominated field and people definitely started taking me at least slightly more seriously. If that makes sense

[feralcringeman]

PROOF IN CASE YOU NEED IT

[feralcringeman]

Been seeing some people confused on what this means SO added this on to the post

Hope this clears it up

[feralcringeman]

Insanely happy with how far this post is going but I need everyone and I mean EVERYONE WHO SEES THIS POST TO PLEASE

DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS

We can’t just let this man get away with this and go completely free we NEED to fight back against this.

Here’s what you can do

1.Follow the instructions in the picture (alt text is included)

2.SPREAD THIS,SPREAD THIS LIKE CRAZYREBLOG,REPOST ON OTHER PLATFORMS, MAKE VIDEOS ON IT,TIKTOKS ON IT IT DOESN’T FUCKING MATTER JUST SPREAD THIS AS MUCH AS YOU CAN

3.CONTACT ANY ONE YOU MIGHT KNOW CAN HELP

Your government officials,people who run news websites FUCKING ANYONE

I know shit may seem hopeless right now but that is no reason to atleast TRY to make a difference

[schrodingersinteraction]

Contact Us | The White House

Contact the President, Vice President, get help with a Federal Agency, or request a Presidential Greeting.

[ruinedchildhood]

[stardynamite]

THE WAY SHE POSED AFTERWARDS HFKFBDK

[stardynamite]

My artistic rendition:

[pillowspace]

[etchif]

[benkaben]

,

[strombolicious]

[teathattast]

reblog to do this w your mutuals

[gaysie]

do u think omegaverse acknowledges covid-19 and the generation of people who permanently lost their sense of smell like how are they all scenting each other now is the omegaverse economy in shambles

[gayagendaofficial]

actually pheromone sensing works differently from normal olfaction, since humans in our world don’t have a functioning vomeronasal organ (VNO), we don’t have any data on how covid-19 would affect a functioning VNO in omegaverse AUs

[gaysie]

Actually there is evidence that covid probably would affect the VNO and it stands to reason would accordingly impair its function. Briefly:

SARS-CoV-2, the virus that causes covid, can only infect cells expressing a certain protein called ACE2

ACE2 is expressed widely in nasal cavity epithelial cells but not in olfactory sensory neurons. 

Seo et al. (2021) studied potential nasal targets for SARS-CoV-2 using golden hamsters as a model organism (commonly used as a proxy for humans in virology studies)

They found ACE2 expression in the main olfactory bulb epithelium (MOE, your “normal” nose organ) as well as the vomeronasal organ (VNO)

Several cell types in the VNO were able to be infected and they also found significant inflammatory activity (macrophage activation, apoptotic cells, etc) 

The specifics of how covid actually causes dysosmia are not known for sure but epithelial damage by local inflammatory immune responses likely plays a role, especially because sensory neurons themselves are not affected (Bilinska, & Butowt, 2020). Therefore I would suggest a potential similar effect of VNO dysfunction as we see in the main olfactory bulb

From Seo et al.: “Considering the function of the VNO, infection and subsequent pathologic changes may affect the behavior of Syrian hamsters”

If it stands to reason that omegaverse individuals have functioning VNOs similar to members of the animal kingdom, then it is more than reasonable to conclude that covid may cause them to lose not only their main olfactory function, but also their VNO function as well

 References: (1) (2)

In conclusion the omegaverse economy IS in shambles.

[mahalidael]

OP this is very well-written but im still hung up on how you came onstage dressed as a clown only to tear off the costume and reveal yourself as a biologist

[rakiloslov]

Can't wait for the uniqueness of the holocaust to be a topic of importance in a political campaign in america in 2024. That's how it should be. That's normal

[gsirvitor]

It's true, the Holocaust isn't unique, it holds the largest impact because it is the most recent one, at least for jews, given time other genocides will overshadow it, and it should be taught in the same vein as other historic atrocities.

There was the Effacer le tableau.

The Hutu massacres of the first Congo war.

The Rwandan Genocide.

The Bosnian Genocide.

The Isaaq Genocide.

The Anfal campaign.

The Gukurahundi.

The Cambodian Genocide.

The East Timor Genocide.

The Ikiza.

The Bangladesh Genocide, which may have a repeat very soon.

The Holodomor.

The Great Leap Forward.

The Armenian Genocide.

I can go on.

To limit education to but one atrocity, when all of these happened in the same century is an attempt to reframe or even hide these atrocities, for instance I have seen many socialists defend both the Holodomor and the Armenian Genocide, it does those being educated a disservice by treating the Holocaust as unique while surrounded by a myriad of other heinous genocides.

[unpopularly-opinionated]

I will say context is important, and I don't know the context here, but yeah he's right to acknowledge the many other genocides that exist.

[brazenautomaton]

I mean the context in the screenshot provided is obviously correct and vindicates what Walz is saying. Someone screenshotted that as proof Walz was wrong because they could not read the words in it, just that it somehow disagrees with them.

He fucking says, right there, "to exclude other acts of genocide severely limited students' ability to synthesize the lessons of the Holocaust and ability to apply them elsewhere," that's the quote that this thread's OP and Twitter OP both looked at and got enraged by without reading! Guess what? If you teach people the Holocaust was completely unique and unprecedented and unrelated to any other patterns of behavior, the take-home lesson is that it might as well have been done by space aliens and there's no reason to be concerned with what humans are doing!

[cookingwithroxy]

and by divorcing the Holocaust from all other genocides, it also allows people to not have a framework of other mass atrocities, which surprisingly enough seems to make them believe that the holocaust could have actually NOT happened, considering how they don't have a framework about how often atrocities happen.

[starfieldcanvas]

the follow-up here is that when walz taught his class of sophomore high school students about the holocaust, he had them extensively study other genocides and the social conditions that preceded them. the class wrapped up with a group project trying to predict where the next genocide was most likely to take place

(this was in 1993)

and where did they collectively conclude the next genocide was most likely to happen?

Rwanda.

if, like me, you can't remember the date of the Rwandan genocide off the top of your head, it kicked off in April 1994.

So ... when Tim Walz says that studying the Holocaust as part of a pattern is vitally important, he is not talking out of his ass.

[no-longer-another-bondi-blonde]

I feel I would be exceptional at all these average events 🥇

[just-korey]

I’d watch this religiously

[ur-daily-inspiration]

Cute birds appreciation post

[butchlinkle]

Lotta people concerned in the replies—the person in the video is holding them in a photographers grip, which allows the bird more freedom of movement and the ability to peck at the bander's hand if they're distressed, you don't need to worry about their discomfort. The birds which are not being held in this grip are being held so because their wing muscles are much more powerful and they could injure themselves if held with the photographer's grip. In other words—this person knows what they are doing, and is mitigating harm to the birds.

They're being recorded to track population and health, are just a little dazed because they just got caught by a mist net, and once they've been banded and had photos or in this case videos taken to record their condition they'll be released. They're held for only a very brief amount of time, purely to gather data for conservation purposes, and are released as soon as they have been banded and recorded.

[sturgeonposting]

various speeds

[foxholemonster]

[pasta-llama]

Is there a Dresden Files discord for people into the shipping side of the fandom? Mostly everyone online (except for Tumblr of course) are a bunch a dude bros.

[pasta-llama]

I made a ship friendly Dresden Files discord since one isn’t available: https://discord.gg/AJcMFsvKMT

I haven’t built it out whatsoever but I’d love any volunteers to become mods!