summary: beaten down by the world, you thank zayne for being the only one who does the opposite instead.
pairing: zayne x non!mc reader
tags: angst, fluff, comfort!!!!, self deprecation, insecure!reader, non!mc fem!reader, domestic, emotional turmoil
taglist: @xinghuisknight, @hirayalia, @violasepals, @snowyfishes, @mrsqins, @txtworlddom @thewrldx
a/n: this is a request made by my lovely snowcrow anon! and also first work after hiatus. i sincerely hope it delivers. as i was done writing i realised it wasn't in the conventional format but this is the snowypi special so i hope you enjoy regardless! also the cologne is canon; versace pour homme dylan blue
The faucet leaks gently onto the sink, a rhythmic tap-tap-tap echoing off of the walls. Your knuckles are turning white with how tightly you're gripping the porcelain. The stone digs into your palms almost painfully.
You still don't let go.
The bathroom mirror is fogged over. Your silhouette is a cloud of colours under texture, blending with the smooth monotone tiles of the walls. It looked like how you felt: a swirl of hues lacking detail and vigour, not clear enough to see. Not clear enough for anything, really. Just not enough. Never enough.
You bite your lip as saltine droplets pool over your lash line. The steady sink slips from under your grip and you stumble, stepping back just in time to avoid a fall.
Stupid.
Stupid stupid stupid-
A loud ringtone resounds in your ear right as you close the bathroom door. The phone is heavy in your hands, your footfalls even heavier. Sliding up against a couch pillow, you clear your throat and muster something other than a tear-streaked scowl as you glance at the Caller ID.
…Zayne?
The dam nearly breaks twice. There's a dull throb in your head as you hold back the sobs, throat constricting painfully. These tears were different, though.
You could count on one hand the number of people in your life who had ever made you feel like you were someone worth more than an afterthought. Someone worth more than being categorised as a simple existence in a sea of mediocrity dubbed by social conventions.
Someone worth more than being thought of as less, if thought of at all.
You watch as the melody from your phone ebbs away and your screen darkens— before brightening almost immediately, ringtone louder than ever.
You're quick to swipe on green this time.
Zayne's dulcet voice is laced with concern. "You didn't pick up my call. Are you upset?"
Trying to mask the roughness of your vocal chords, you reply softly. "Don’t worry about it. There’s, um, there’s something I need to tell you, though."
"I'm on my way home. If it is serious we should talk about it in person."
“O-oh,” you stutter, deftly wiping your eyes with the back of your hand. Hold it together. “Okay.”
“See you soon, my love.”
"See you soon, Zaynie."
Barely ten minutes pass before you hear the mechanical clicks of your front door unlocking.
You wave from the couch, lips stretched in a smile. Zayne beelines straight for your general direction, shrugging off his coat while pressing a chaste kiss to your forehead. You can’t help but giggle when you feel him nudge a warm drink into your palm.
“Coffee at 10PM?”
He sidles up beside you, holding an identical paper cup. “This is hot chocolate from that French bakery you like.”
“Did you get this before or after you assumed we were going to have a serious talk?”
A small smile plays on his lips. “Before, of course.”
You laugh. “Of course.”
There is a peaceful silence that follows, broken momentarily by the soft shuffle of the paper cup as you bring it to your lips. The dense chocolate bursts on your tongue, thick and gooey. It warms you from the inside out like a tender caress, easing the soreness of your throat and the cold that had settled in your chest.
Sinking deeper into the couch, you catch Zayne's expectant gaze.
"Right, so...I just…I just wanted to say thank you, you know?"
You take a deep breath, forcing yourself to meet his eyes.
"Thank you for always being so… appreciative. So affectionate and so kind to me. You love me in a way that's like— like this warm hug I can just melt in— and I'm so thankful, Zayne. It means everything to me."
You mean this so sincerely that you can feel the return of the waterworks. Blinking away the intruders, you bite your lip to focus on a different sensation.
“It just… It just always feels like everyone around me thinks I’m this…substandard sort of person. And maybe I am?”
Zayne gazes at you with all the softness of the world, listening intently.
“I feel like I'm bad at everything I do, if not terrible, and I don’t know if I’ve even been like more than average at anything but when I’m with you, it’s like none of that even matters."
Cradling the paper cup, you thumb at the protective lining, feeling the seams of the fragile cardboard.
“You’re the only one who makes me feel this way. And– and I just wanted to say thank you for that. Thank you so much, Zayne. That's all.”
Pursing your lips, you take a nervous sip of the hot chocolate. It's lukewarm now. You feel the softer tendrils of warmth ebb away to a quiet frost.
You steal a look at the man beside you, only to be met with an expression that's utterly unreadable. The soft smile he was sporting prior is absolutely wiped from his face. Did you do something wrong? You shift your gaze to the paper cup, and then to the TV console. Hell, you could hear the cicadas outside. This silence, characteristic as it was, felt more like an anvil being dropped on your chest than anything.
There's one thing left to do. Damage control.
You mentally gear up, ready to dismiss the depth of your confession and repackage it's message— but Zayne beats you to it.
"Y/N,"
Uh oh.
"Yeah?"
His voice is laced with a sternness you don't often get to hear. "How long have you been carrying such a fallacious belief?"
"I...uh, I wouldn't say it's a just a belief? This is how it's always been, Zayne."
He quietly slips his slender fingers into your own, thumb rubbing along the backside of your palm. You lean in by habit, shoulders brushing, head falling to rest on the arch of his shirt-clad shoulder.
"You are wrong." Zayne states.
"What?"
"Some say the odds of running into your soulmate are 1 in 10,000, however..."
You fail to hold in your giggle. "Soulmate, huh?"
Zayne clears his throat. You smile, feeling his cheek press on the top of your head as he continues.
"However, if we factor in the size of the global population, age ranges, geography, and mutual attraction, the probability of crossing paths with that exact, single person in our lifetime is mathematically considered near impossible. In addition, we had special circumstances, so I'd argue it truly was intended to be impossible."
You hum in thought. "So against all odds, I met you."
"Correct. Against all odds, I met you."
"So you're saying that I'm an anomaly?"
"I'm saying that you're extraordinary. That you're the antonym of everything you just described yourself as. That you're not defined by the words of people who are blind to your incredible character. That you're one in a billion, Y/N, and there is nothing in this world that could prove me otherwise."
If Zayne was facing you right now, he'd definitely glimpse the rosy blush that had powdered itself across your cheeks. You're left gaping like a fish out of water, a familiar warmth blooming in your chest. Great. Now you're hyperaware of how close you two are. You're leaning on his shoulder and his chin is resting tenderly on your head, hands laced together with one free to hold your respective cups. He smells good, you think. Like antiseptic and an earthy kind of cologne.
Zayne squeezes your hand. "I am as appreciative as my sincerity allows me to be. I should be thanking you, Y/N."
He pauses.
You don't see the tips of his ears redden, or the timid smile that involuntarily shapes itself on his lips. But you do hear his voice shift to an almost-whisper, slow and careful. "I can no longer imagine a life without you by my side." Zayne confesses.
You feel him press a gentle kiss to the crown of your head, and then another.
"You're everything. There is no story, no universe I would rather be in than this one... with you. And only you."
also known as: the one where you tell your boyfriend which italian brainrot he is
pairing: all lads lis x reader (separate), it might be ooc... pls be nice to her world
cw: cursing (minimal), slightly suggestive (rafayel, sylus, caleb), slight allusion to yandere!caleb, i tried to write gn!reader but sowwy if it comes across as fem!reader
wc: 300-400 words per li
a/n: this might genuinely be the stupidest thing i've ever done but i'm not backing out now 🫨 shout-out to all my alpha readers and this post that started out as a silly idea and now i'm making my ladsblr debut??? MWAH everyone i love y'all
Xavier
You're binging the latest season of your hyperfixation TV show when all of a sudden, you hear a ping! come from your phone.
lumiere <3: Starlight, can U come upstairs?
lumiere <3: Quickly please
You: omw !!
You hop off your couch and take the elevator one floor up to Xavier's apartment. You barely get a single knock on the door before he swings it open, quickly revealing the less-than-ideal problem he'd called you up for.
"Xavier, why does it smell," you're cut off by an incessant coughing fit, "like something burnt in here?"
He awkwardly laughs and rubs the back of his neck, "… I tried my best, starlight."
Your cuteness aggression gets the best of you and you pinch his cheeks, muttering, "Let's see what you messed up this time."
———
"Xavier, what could have possibly possessed you to make raspberry custard tarts instead of, I don't know, just buying them?" you sigh.
Your boyfriend only stares guiltily at his mess as he confesses, "I wanted to make a gift for you."
"Well, thank you love, but it's fully burnt now… Let me see if I can make something el-"
You're interrupted by a raspberry being stuffed in your mouth, muffling your speech. You turn to look at the culprit, only to see his cheeks puffed out from being full.
You start giggling, only to be met by a tilted head and a quizzical look from the object of your laughter. You giggle even more at his adorable reactions.
"My star, what's so funny?"
"You!!" You take his face with your hands, planting kisses across his face. "You look just like that one thing I heard the newest Hunter trainees talking about, that one raspberry rabbit or whatever."
He looks even more perplexed than before, so you reach for your phone and open your social media.
"See, there it is! Oh it's called raspberrini rabbitini, whoops."
"My love, you think I look like… that?"
"Well duh. You're both cute bunnies, you're both eating raspberries, although techn-"
"Who do you think is cuter, me or that bunny?"
Zayne
zaynie the penguin 🐧: Class just ended. I was planning on heading to the café.
You: yes !! i'll see you at the cafe lovely <33
You quickly pack up your things and barely remember to say goodbye to your coworkers as you rush out the door, desperate to join your boyfriend you haven't seen in what felt like forever.
Both of you had been busier than usual: Zayne started as a new guest professor at Linkon University, and you were swamped with back-to-back wanderer missions. That being said, both of you were jumping at the chance to finally be in each other's arms.
You see him outside the cafe doors, looking around, as if he was searching for someone.
"Zayne!" You call out his name and watch his eyes light up as the two of you lock eyes.
"It's been too long, my love," You embrace for longer than usual. "How have you been?"
"I've been abso-fucking-lutely exhausted without you," you pout and stare longingly at the menu. "Can we get our coffee now?"
He smiles at your dramatics as you walk to the counter, talking about the mundane events of your life you hadn't had a chance to update each other on.
Zayne recites his order as you inspect the drinks, always the ever-prepared man. "One cappuccino please, with whipped cream on top."
You take one look at him and burst out in uncontrollable laughter.
He side-eyes you, the look in his eyes revealing his true emotions. "I'm glad you find my coffee order amusing, sweetheart."
Naturallly, you laugh even more and open your phone.
"It's not my fault that Zaynie the Penguin looks so cutesie-patootsie ordering his cappuccino with whipped cream while in his button-up and tie, now is it? He kinda reminds me of cappuccino glaciale, wouldn't you say so?"
He raises an eyebrow, "No."
Rafayel
"Thomas, you're the worst person ever," Rafayel frowns at his unimpressed manager.
"If you piss that investor off, you're done for."
Rafayel pouts even more, "But Thooomasssss, I'm here with my cutieeee."
"Well, cutie," Thomas turns to you, fully ignoring Rafayel's scandalized gasp. "I hope I can trust you to keep him in line with the guests."
"Just leave it to me, Thomas!" You nod your head and do a mock-salute, ignoring Rafayel's second outraged gasp.
"Wonderful!" Thomas claps his hand once, pleased to have the upper hand on the artist. "I'll speak with some more investors around the exhibit. Don't mess this up," Thomas points at Rafayel and finally walks away, leaving you and Rafayel alone for the rest of the night.
"Cutie, how could you? How could you betray me like that?" Rafayel pleads with tears in his eyes.
"Look Raffie, Thomas is already pissed about your silent rebellion by wearing," you point to his Air Max 1 '86s, "those. Just talk to that one investor, and get it done with."
"… Do I have to?"
"If you don't want him to fire you."
"He works for me????"
"Yeah… I don't care."
Your boyfriend huffs, "Fine. But let me use the restroom first."
"What, so you can sit on your ass and stall?"
His eyes widen, shocked you caught on to his plan, "What? Haha. I wouldn't-I don't even know what you're talking about cu-"
"Just go."
"Yes mom."
You roll your eyes.
———
Rafayel's stalling finally ends and he makes his journey back from the restroom, only to see you… laughing??? With another … male??? He feels acid rising up his throat simply at the thought of it.
Yeah, no.
He immediately storms over and kisses your cheek with a loud mwah!, eager to publicly stake his claim.
He turns towards the wide-eyed man, "Thanks for taking care of my partner, but I've got it from here." Turning back to you , "Cutie, can we go now?"
The guest takes this opportunity to speedwalk away as you repeatedly hit Rafayel while laughing.
"You're laughing? Another man tried to steal you from me and you're laughing?"
"You're just- You're such an orcalero orcala," you manage to get out between laughs.
"You've gotta be shitting me I know you didn't just compare me with that… thing," disdain dripping from his voice.
"Well, think about it. You're a mean fishie and orcalero orcala is a mean fishie, and technically, you're both wearing Air Max 1 '86s… Maybe if you're a good fishie, I'll let you wear less than that."
Your heated conversation is interrupted by a loud yell.
"RAFAYEL! DID YOU JUST IGNORE THE MOST IMPORTANT INVESTOR OF THE NIGHT?"
Rafayel grabs your hand, "Run."
Sylus
You've been tossing and turning for what feels like hours when Sylus finally speaks up from the armchair in the corner of the bedroom.
"Trouble sleeping, sweetie?"
You open your eyes and sit up straight in bed. "What do you think?" your voice dripping with sarcasm.
"I think we should go on a joyride. It'll help you clear your mind."
"… Fine."
———
"Sylus, what the hell!"
You tighten your hold on his waist as he speeds and damn near backflips through the N109 Zone.
"Don't worry kitten, we're almost there."
"Almost where?"
"Here."
You gasp at the sight in front of you. It appears Sylus has brought you to an area at the edge of the N109 Zone, the perfect balance of dark and clear to see the constellation-covered starry night.
"Sylus, t-this is beautiful. Thank you."
"Anything for my beloved."
Some time passes by in a comfortable silence, the two of you holding each other, when you finally speak up.
"Why are you like this?"
He inquisitively raises his eyebrow.
"Like why are you trying to aura farm? You know you don't have to try this hard around me? I love you just the way you are!" You punctuate your statement with an extra tight squeeze and a kiss on his jaw.
"Aura… farm?"
"The whole speeding and skidding and motorcycle tricks you were doing on the way here. You know… like aura farming?"
"Is this… farm of auras similar to skibidi?"
"Wha- How do you eve- I'm gonna kill those two later. Like you were trying to act so cool and nonchalant around me."
"Please kitten, you underestimate me. I am cool and nonchalant."
"You're literally not nonchalant. This is so dud udud gendut of you."
"Ah, Luke taught me what 'dud' is, and I can assure you, I am certainly not a dud," he raised his eyebrow with a slight smirk. "I'm sure you would agree too, wouldn't you, kitten?"
You smack his chest, "Sylus!! No, you silly goose, I was talking about this thing Simone told me about." You pull out your phone.
"Sweetie, there's no way I remind you of that."
You smile up at him and shrug your shoulders, "Hmm, I don't know. Yes, no, maybe so?"
Caleb
"Nuh uh pips, I already told ya like a million times. You can't have my braised chicken wings until you get all better."
He pats your head and walks back to the kitchen, leaving you seething in the bedroom.
"But Caleb," you whine, "I want those wiiiings." Even a deaf person could hear the heartbreaking disappointment in your voice.
"I know, I know, but the spices will just irritate your throat, and we don't want your fever to get worse now, do we?"
If you weren't so painfully sick, you'd be cracking up at the visual in front of you. The Colonel of the Farspace Fleet wearing a frilly pink apron and chiding you with a silicone spatula. But alas, you are painfully sick, and you can't laugh unless you want to end up in the emergency room from a lack of oxygen and buildup of phlegm in your throat.
"Buuuut, I did compromise and make you chicken soup. Open your mouth, I'll feed you."
"Stop being a bum! You were gonna make me chicken soup anyway!" You huff and turn away from him.
"I'm just lookin' out for ya, pips. You're too sick to get up and make anything yourself. Look, I'll even blow on the soup so it's not too hot. Now, open your mouth, and let Caleb handle everything."
A few spoonfuls into his delicious chicken soup (hey, you're a hater, not a liar), and you start to feel your fever acting up again. This time, you see Caleb as… a chicken?
"Tirilikalika tirilikalako," you whisper, too quiet for him to catch.
"Hm? Whatcha say, pips?"
"Tirilikalika tirilikalako," just a little bit louder.
He sighs and chuckles, "Just because I didn't make your wings doesn't mean you can condemn me to eternal damnation through the use of witches' curses."
"No, you dumbass, it's a new trend. I have to do everything myself, don't I?"
You swear you heard him say "not on my watch" under his breath, but you choose to ignore it in favor of showing him your newest social media hyperfixation.
"Pips, do I need to restrict your internet usage?" He gives you a knowing look.
You ignore what he said again, "Caleb, look! You look like a chicken, and you're blowing on my soup, ergo tirilikalika tirilikalako."
fluff! first date with zayne at a cute café, zaynie being the most thoughtful person ever, inspired by that one reel i saw, first time writing with big font as an experiment so i hope goes well hehe
you stare at the menu, your eyes flicking between the hazelnut and the red velvet cake.
“have you decided on what you would like?“ zayne asks, and you look up from the menu to see him.
“not really, i can't decide between the hazelnut and the red velvet.” you bite your lip, still trying to make a decision.
zayne smiles in what you can only hope is fondness.
“ordering both flavours is also an option. i am more than capable of paying for three slices of cake.” he offers and you shake your head.
“thank you zayne, but there is no need!” you politely dismiss his offer, trying to stop the smile growing on your cheeks. “i'll make up my mind when the server gets here. what flavour would you like?”
“the caramel shortcake seems like it will hit the sugar cravings i currently have.” he replies and you nod your head, subtly remembering his order for future dates.
a cheerful server comes by, stopping at your table. “what can i get for you guys today?”
“the hazelnut and red velvet cake please.” you look at your date confused, whilst the server jots it down on the pad piece of paper. perhaps you misheard?
“one hazelnut and one red velvet. perfect! if you guys need any help, i'll be around.” the server smiles, walking to the kitchen.
“thank you, zayne. you're so incredibly sweet!” you blush, your face growing warm at his gesture.
but then it dawns upon you that zayne didn't actually order what he wanted. “the options i chose aren't particularly sweet compared to the caramel shortcake though. i know you have a strong sweet tooth.”
zayne nods in agreement. “i do have a sweet tooth. but you make everything sweeter, darling.”
The hot shower had been relaxing on your tired body. You entered the bedroom wearing a robe, ready to change into your pjs for the night. Sylus looked up from where he was reading his book on the bed. You could see the hunger and desire in his eyes.
“So it should be that time of the month again for you sweetie.”
“Sylus I skipped this month.”
Sylus tsk and looks away from you. “Are you upset?”
“It’s been stressful week for me. I was looking forward to my favorite snack. Your irregular cycle is very inconvenient for me.”
“I’m sorry Sy.” You sat on the bed and layed your head on his shoulder. “I’ll probably get it next month.”
“I’ll be ravenous by then. You think you can handle me?”
You smiled. “I wouldn’t be with you if I couldn’t.”
fluff! post rain cuddles with zayne, the morning after this, idea credit from the lovely @snoozer-crow tysm my lovely for your amazing idea!! (they aren't fully sick here but it's the best i have, it's 3am rn sigh)
the bright sunshine wakes zayne up, immediately feeling an upcoming headache approaching. he winces, touching his temple as he brings the blanket over to his side of the bed, accidentally waking you up.
“sorry darling, you can go back to sleep.” he apologises, pulling the blanket over you.
“mmh, can't go back to sleep. i'm hungry.” your eyes flutter open, and zayne feels his heart quicken at the sight of your ethereal expression.
“you should have breakfast, darling. i will join you later.” zayne looks at you sleepily, his eyes threatening to close.
“but i don't wanna leave the bed.” you whine, stretching out your limbs.
“you need to eat if you are hungry, sweetheart.” he fixes the baby hairs blocking your vision.
“too lazy, it's so comfy next to you.” you shake your head, pouting your lips for a dramatic effect.
“darling, i believe i am coming down with a cold. i wouldn't want you to catch it either.”
“the stars have aligned for us, zaynie!” zayne stares at you confused. “i think i'm sick too!”
“i'm not quite sure if feigning sickness so you can be next to me is either romantic or insane, sweetheart.”
“but i am sick, feel my forehead!” you grab his wrist, and zayne gently touches the your forehead with the back of his hand.
he sighs. “i guess we both are sick. i will go make us some breakfast.” zayne lifts up the blanket, careful to keep you covered under it.
“i'm not letting you leave! you need to stay in bed and recover too, zaynie.” you reach out for his arm, grabbing as fast as your reduced reflexes will allow you to.
“darling, we need to eat breakfast so we can recover faster.” he turns back to face you and almost loses his balance.
“nope, you're literally wobbling as we speak, doctor zayne. time for bed.” patting the space next to you. “we can order breakfast. what would you like, baby? pancakes? waffles maybe?”
in his drowsy state, zayne walks over to his side of the bed and almost hits his knee against the bed frame. he whinges, laying down defeated. “pancakes please, darling.”
zayne n reader making orange juice and she sneaks carrots into the blender
𝟅ϱ sum. swapping oranges for carrots on zayne!
“ what did you do to it?”
“ hm? to what, zaynie?”
zayne immediately knew you were responsible for the problem, telling from your overly innocent grin and eager eyes switching from the now frozen cup to his stern face— including the fact he ate the last of the pastry he promised to you yesterday. he had half expected to go completely off, calling him everything but affectionate names under the sun, but instead, you flashed him a nonchalant smile, going upstairs to bed than rather commenting on the matter.
so technically, he should’ve seen this coming. being married to his wife who is the walking definition of petty.
“ the juice… you switched it to carrots… on purpose.” he slowly drawled, feeling more and more betrayed by the second as you shrugged noncommittally, grin widening as you went back to scrolling on your phone. and if zayne wasn’t already walking on eggshells, he would’ve pointed out you’d been staring at the same picture ever since you heard him shuffle to the kitchen to grab a drink.
“ on purpose? ahh, on purpose just how you ate the last of our pastries yesterday?” finally, you let your anger show, whipping your head back to show him your cutely- angry face, brows furrowed and your cheeks puffed out. much to your husband’s delight you dropped the icy coolness, now being more vocal about your frustration. “ like, seriously zayne! i didn’t even have a chance to grab a second one before you came down to eat the last two!”
he sighed, placing the frozen cup on the table to run his hand through inky, black hair. “ i know. i messed up—“
“ messed up is a understatement! i swear zayne, you better make it up to me, or every juice you drink in this house will be substituted with carrots.”
“ and i’m not a man to leave my mistakes behind instead of fixing them,” he makes his way to your glaring figure, sitting on the cushion next to you. it takes everything in him not to let cuteness aggression take over, holding himself on how he desperately wants to kiss you all over until your laughs fill the environment of the house instead of your stone silence. “ there’s a discount for couples at our favorite bakery today. why don’t we go now?”
“ oh zayne…” you finally lean in to peck his awaiting lips, lingering in the kiss before withdrawing as he became needier. “ i’m in the mood for carrot cake. what about you?”
SYNOPSIS: sometimes the most important relationships are ones that teach you a lesson, other times they're ones that help you learn to love again
a/n: hi hi !! i was inspired by harry’s song to write this ! i used both the interpretation a relationship being special despite not lasting forever + taking a leap of faith when ur scared to love !! i hope you guys enjoy this i lowkey am ass at writing angst and it’s my first time writing smut (two lines but still LOL) so i really appreciate any and all feedback !!! comments and reblogs are held close to my heart <3 enough w the yapfest ty for reading !!!
tags/warnings: caleb x nonmc!reader, rafayel x nonmc!reader, fluff, angst, hurt/no comfort from caleb’s side, comfort from rafayel, insecurities (not feeling good enough), cheating, smut (a couple lines), raf is a rich little shit, caleb is an asshole, mc is not a girls girl, happy ending,, lmk if i missed anything !
wordcount: 7.8k
masterlist
You met Caleb in the spring, accidentally running into the colonel while avoiding a pushy man on a busy street. “Sorry,” you fumbled out, eyes teary and heart in your throat. Caleb took note of your state immediately, a wave of protectiveness overcoming him.
“Are you alright?” His arm reaches out to steady you, watching you closely. He sees your eyes widen when you take in his uniform.
“Yes I’m fine, sorry to bother you sir,” you glance behind you quickly, seeing the man round the corner, Caleb follows your gaze, putting two and two together quickly. Before you can continue your escape Caleb speaks up, loud enough so the man can hear him.
“Sweetheart you should know better than to keep a colonel waiting,” his features are much less tense than they were before. You furrow your brows at him for a second, quickly letting yourself melt into his chest.
“Sorry baby I got held up,” you bat your lashes at him, glancing at the man following you, he stares right back at you.
“Do you have business with the Farspace Fleet?” His voice is sharp around the edges, eyes narrowing as he addresses the man. He quickly shakes his head ‘no’ and turns on his heel. Caleb can't help but scoff, his arm swinging over your shoulder and turning the two of you to walk the opposite direction. “Are you okay?’ the colonel asks you, his voice gentle as he smiles down at you, soft violet eyes catching your own.
“I am now, I can't thank you enough,” you breathe out, willing your erratic heartbeat to slow down. “Sorry for getting all on you colonel,” you blush, smiling when the taller man laughs at your words.
“No worries, I'm glad to help,” he pauses for a second, “and you can just call me Caleb.”
“Thank you so much Caleb,” his name feels nice on your tongue, “I’m y/n, can I buy you a drink or something?”
Caleb’s mind short circuits for a second, his whole life he’d rejected everyone's advances, he always had MC by his side. But now she's in Linkon and thinks he’s dead, he's not the same Caleb she loved. His heart unclenches when he meets your shy gaze.
“Do you like coffee?”
Conversation seemed to flow easy between the two of you after a couple minutes, soft laughter leaving your lips, blushing when you see Caleb laughing alongside you.
Caleb frowns when you beat him to the bill. “This is my thank you for helping me out,” you shake your head, “no way you were gonna pay.”
“Alright, alright” he sighs dramatically, “I’ll just have to get the next one.” You cock your head slightly.
“Next one?”
“Would you wanna get dinner with me?” Caleb finds himself wanting to make you flustered more, cute he thinks.
You debate it for a moment, you didn't exactly put yourself in the dating scene as much as you wanted, what's there to lose?
“I would like that very much,” you finally say, your smile widening when Caleb lights up.
Months later the leaves turned shades of orange and pink, your hand in Caleb's as the two of you walked in the park, a small breeze brushes past the two of you making you shiver slightly.
“Don’t” you groan, seeing the look on your boyfriend's face. Caleb bites his tongue, a smirk on his face as he silently shrugs his jacket off and drapes it over you, pulling you in by your waist.
“Told you to bring a jacket,” he taunts, laughing when you launch yourself at him, a small ‘oof’ leaving him as you smack his chest.
“Caleb?” The feminine voice makes the two of you stop and turn to face them, she was gorgeous, and she matched the description Caleb gave you of his first love. You felt your blood go cold, head spinning as you looked at Caleb. His mouth was agape, eyes sparkling as he stared at her, hand dropping yours instantly. Your heart clenched.
“MC,” he breathed out, he said her name like it was something holy, had he ever said yours in that tone?
“Oh my god it's really you,” her eyes watered, she didn't hesitate to run into his arms, and Caleb caught her like it was second nature. His eyes closed, burying his face in the crook of her neck, memories flooding back.
You stood there awkwardly, he had explained the situation to you, how were you supposed to react? While, yes, it sucked seeing someone hold your boyfriend so deeply, she was also just discovering he was alive. You bit your lip, insecurities creep up on you, finding yourself comparing yourself to her when you hadn't even introduced yourself.
When they finally pull away, you stare at Caleb, he quickly moves away from her, clearing his throat, “pips this is y/n” he gestures to you. MC smiles at you, waving before focusing back on your boyfriend.
“What the fuck happened?” she scolds, smacking him roughly and Caleb smiles down softly at her, like you weren't standing a couple feet away.
You suddenly feel out of place, your throat tightens up as you shift your weight on your feet. “I’ll um- I’ll let you guys catch up,” you speak up, only then does Caleb tear his gaze from her and focus on you.
“I’ll text you, okay?” he gives you a tight lipped smile, the same he gives cashiers and kind strangers. You don't say anything, turning on your heel and wrapping the jacket tighter around you.
“Who was that?” you hear her say, ears twitching back to listen out for Caleb's response.
“Just a friend of mine.”
You let the stray tear fall from your eye when you finally reach your car, taking a deep breath before driving home, alone. You leave Caleb’s jacket in your car, stomach twisting as you imagine what they're doing, is he still staring at her like that?
“Just a friend of mine,” the words echo in your head, anger and sadness brewing in your chest, a bitter taste in your mouth as you try to eat dinner. The same dinner you and Caleb had cooked together earlier.
The buzzing of your phone tears your blank stare from the tv, a random show you didn't care for filling the silence of your apartment.
[new messages from caleb <3]
Sorry about earlier I get how weird that must've been for you :/
I appreciate how understanding you were, thank you so much
Shes pretty shaken after i told her everything so shes spending the night at mine
I’ll text you tomorrow ?
You stare at your phone, heart breaking further as you reread the messages. She's spending the night with him? A new message makes you focus on your phone again.
Wanna go to that bakery you like tomorrow ? my treat :3
Your heart softens, maybe things won't change, he's still your Caleb. With shaky fingers you reply to him.
its okay,, i hope everything works out between you guys
Bakery sounds good tomorrow :3
Get some rest i love you
Goodnight, see you tmrw :P
You wait for him to say I love you, but it never comes. You don't let yourself ruminate, instead you get off your couch and head to your bedroom, eyelids heavy as you try to sleep, ignoring the growing pit in your stomach.
The next morning you stare at the ceiling for a handful of minutes before finally getting up and checking your phone. Caleb always sends you a good morning text, he was always awake before you were. You bite the inside of your cheek when there's no new texts from him. It's fine, he must've been emotionally drained from yesterday, it's good that he sleeps in, you reason, shooting him a quick ‘good morning :)’ before continuing on with your day.
You deep clean your room, trying to ignore the anxiety gnawing at you as you continuously glance at your phone. You’d made it to your living room when your phone buzzed, practically leaping at it to see the notification. Caleb.
meet at the bakery at 2? sorry i slept in
also is it okay if mc comes along ?
You feel nauseous as you read the second text. Were you being irrational? You had to be kind, you had to be understanding. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad.
It wasn't bad, it was worse. You smiled at Caleb, instinctively going to wrap your arms around him, he moved back slightly to evade your embrace, eyes shifting to mc. He caught the way your face fell, the way your smile wavered as you swallowed thickly before turning to the girl by his side. You ignored the way your eyes stung as your boyfriend pulled a chair out for her, sitting next to her. You sat alone across from them.
“It's nice to see you again,” you spoke, giving her a small wave, “are you doing okay?” Your genuine concern made Caleb's heart ache. You were so kind, and he knew you didn't deserve this.
Time seemed to pass terribly slow, your words were rare and movements careful as you picked at your favorite pastry, appetite reduced to nothing as you listened to MC and Caleb reminisce on their past.
“I had forgotten how good your breakfasts were,” she smiled, turning to you, “have you ever tried the fried eggs he makes? I had them this morning and god it was like a part of me came back to life.”
“Did you guys wake up early today?” your voice soft, glancing up from your plate and at Caleb. He opens his mouth to speak but MC beats him to it,
“Yeah, Caleb has always woken up before me, he woke me up with breakfast at like 9 this morning,” she gushes. “How long have you been friends for?”
Your stomach hurts, heart aching as you nod at her words, Caleb stares at you apologetically, eyes swimming in, remorse? Guilt? You couldn’t pinpoint it. “Only a couple months, I wouldn't know him as well as you,” you reply, "I'll be right back,” you excuse yourself. You hear Caleb's chair scraping the floor, heavy steps hot on your trail as you rush into the restroom, closing the door and locking it quickly before he can stop you.
“Baby please let me explain,” he pleads through the door. Your ears are ringing, eyes burning as you try to regulate your breathing. What the fuck was happening? How can someone who made you feel loved one day make you feel like day old garbage the next?
You send a text to your friend quickly, begging her to call you in two minutes as a way out. She replies quickly, asking where you were.
Caleb retreats back to the table with MC, a smile on his face when he sees her. “She’s fine, I think the coffee didn't sit well with her.”
“She’s your girlfriend, right?” It's not a question, MC wasn't stupid. Caleb lets out a deep sigh, running his hand through his hair before replying.
“I didn't think I would ever get you back, I thought you wouldn't love me for who I am now.” MC stares at Caleb, he can't help the way his gaze softens as he looks at her, he can't stop the flutter in his chest when she reaches for his hand and he doesn't even try to pull away. He lets his fingers intertwine with hers.
“I love even the worst versions of you,” she replies softly, squeezing his hand. Caleb almost leans into her, forgetting where he was. He’s only pulled out of his trance when you pull the chair out from the table and take a seat, making him quickly pull away from MC.
“Sorry about that,” you mumble, “was I interrupting something?” Caleb is quick to shake his head.
“Y/N dont you like cats? MC has a stray cat she feeds-” Caleb's words are cut off by your phone ringing.
“Sorry I have to take this,” you mumble, answering quickly, expression morphing into shock and faux concern. “You’ll be okay, I'll be there soon okay?” You hang up quickly, gathering your things before turning to the pair in front of you. “I have to go, my friend needs me, see you guys around,” you rush out, not daring to look back as you exit the bakery, rounding the corner and rushing into your car, pulling out of the parking lot and speeding down the street. You pull over as your vision blurs, parking on the side of the road as broken sobs leave your body.
Your friends pick you up, taking you back to their place and having one of them drive your car to theirs. You don't answer any of Caleb's texts or calls for the next two days.
You go through the motions as you get home from work, heart empty as you toss your keys haphazardly on the entrance table. You barely make it to the shower, hot tears blending with the searing water on your skin. You're glad the steam has fogged up the mirror, pulling a large t-shirt over you, hair still dripping wet as you trudge out into the living room.
A knock on your door has your stomach dropping, you didn't need to check to know who was on the other side of it. With a deep breath you open the door, red rimmed eyes meeting Caleb’s purple ones.
Caleb’s breath caught in his throat as he saw you. “Can we talk? Please?” He’s holding a bouquet of flowers in his hands, tulips. You didn’t like tulips, but he always got them for you.
Maybe it was how utterly emotionally drained you were already, but you opened the door further, stepping aside and letting him in. He doesn't hesitate to walk inside, setting the flowers down and letting his arms wrap around your waist, pulling you closer. You let yourself melt into his touch, body tensing when you smell her perfume.
“You wanna talk, so talk,” you state, voice shaky and cold as you sit on the couch, pulling your hand away from Caleb’s as he tries reaching for it.
“I’m sorry for how I’ve been acting the last few days, everything has been so hectic. I care about MC so much, and having her back feels strange,” he fumbles out, “I care about you too, it's just there's a lot of stuff that she and I need to talk about and work through.” He scrunches his face up, pinching the bridge of his nose before taking a deep breath and speaking again. “I promise I’ll do better, I already set boundaries with her and she's staying somewhere else. I love you y/n, I know I’ve been a shitty boyfriend and I am so fucking sorry but I promise I’ll do better.”
“You called me your friend,” you say softly, eyes focused on a loose thread of your t-shirt.
“What?” Caleb feels his heart pound against his chest, he can hear the blood rushing through his ears.
“When she asked who I was, you said I was your friend.” He had never heard your voice so small. You turned to look at him, bags under your eyes as you stared at him.
“I panicked, I didn’t know how she would react and-”
“What about how I would react?” You question, your eyes still focused on him, he breaks eye contact first.
“I cleared it all up with her, I promise you I’ll do anything for you to believe me.”
Would you cut her off if I asked? The question rests on the tip of your tongue, you don't ask it, too afraid of what the answer might be.
“I need you to prove it to me, I can't just be okay because you say what I want to hear,” you finally say. Caleb lets out a relieved sigh, he places his hand over yours cautiously, intertwining your fingers when you don't pull away.
“I will,” he whispers, “it's only me and you.”
You don't say anything, searching his face but only finding remorse. When he pulls you into him slowly you don't pull away, letting your lips move with his, relishing in the feeling of his body heat radiating onto your exposed thighs. You don’t pull away as he deepens the kiss, pushing away the images of them together as you tug his shirt off, fumbling with his belt buckle.
“Lillies,” you breathe against his flushed skin, “I’ve already told you before my favorite flowers are lilies.” You're both moving around, completely undressed as you look him in the eye.
“Okay, lilies” he mumbles, letting out a low groan as he slowly enters you, lips catching yours as he swallows your moans with his every thrust, eyes fluttering shut.
“I love you” you moan, your lips still pressed against his as he lets out a soft whimper, “I love you so much Caleb.” Your legs wrap around his waist, holding him closer against you, letting your nails leave deep red marks on his back, an attempt at claiming him as your own. You don't see the faint marks left by another that morning.
“Fuck baby, I’m so sorry,” he pants, “don’t deserve you.” He nuzzles his face into the crook of your neck as he finishes with a soft groan, holding you against him tightly.
You stare at the ceiling, fighting back tears as he pulls out of you slowly. He didn't say it back. Caleb stands to get a rag to clean you up, but you give him a soft smile, “I got it.” He furrows his brows, about to protest when you close the restroom door in his face.
Two weeks, you’d decided. You’ll give Caleb two weeks to show you he’s choosing you.
But as the days pass you feel your resolve growing weaker and weaker. You noticed the way his eyes glimmered when staring at her, but never at you. You noticed the way his eyes had never crinkled as he smiled the entire time you’d known him, but they do with her. You noticed the way his ears would flush when they’d brush hands, the way he’d force himself to look at you instead. You noticed how he invited her everywhere, even when it was meant to be just the two of you. When was the last time you'd held his hand? The last time he kissed you with love and not lust?
You decided to surprise him one day, your feeble attempt at making him remember the spark you'd felt upon your first encounter. You caught a train to skyhaven and made your way to his place. You’d bought a new plane model, one he hadn't gotten yet, hoping to build it with him. The sun was shining brightly between the clouds, hope still burning in your heart as you knocked twice on the front door. You bounced on the ball of your heel, smiling as you recalled the fond memories with Caleb, having built a handful of planes with him as date nights, kissing him when he let you add the final piece, giggling as he praised you gently.
When his front door opened, MC’s eyes met yours, smile dropping the second they did. You felt your heart fall, your stomach twisting as you gave her a small smile. “MC, I didn't know you were here,” you hope she doesn't catch the tremble in your voice.
“I thought Caleb told you I was staying here for a couple weeks?” She cocks her head innocently, “I offered to get a hotel but he insisted I stay with him, isn't he so sweet?” You force a smile on your face, knuckles white from how hard you were gripping the model plane box.
“Must have slipped my mind,” you say quickly.
“Did you need something?” she asks, you realize she's wearing Caleb's shirt, you can see a hickey peaking out by her collarbone, your mouth feels dry. You shake your head, blinking quickly before taking a step back.
“No I was gonna tell him something but it can wait, don't tell him I stopped by.” You turn away before she can reply.
“Pips, who is it?” Caleb calls out, emerging with his sweats hung low on his hips, no shirt on. MC turns to him with a sweet smile, the one that always makes him melt.
“Some sales people” she responds, her hands sliding up his chest as she leaves a kiss on his adams apple, “where were we?” Caleb thinks he smells your perfume.
“Was that Y/N?” He mumbles against her lips, violet eyes staring into hers, she pouts as your name leaves his lips.
“Does it matter?” She grumbles, hands sneaking under the hem of his sweatpants, “You think she knows about us?” Caleb bites back a whimper as her hand wraps around him, languid strokes make him lose his train of thought.
“Maybe,” he breathes out, “she won't break up with me anyway,” he moans out, head thrown back as she presses a wet kiss to the sensitive spot on his neck, "she's too nice to do that- cares about me too much.”
You gave the model plane to the first kid you saw, sitting on the train and staring out the window as the scenery flew past you in a blur. The last bit of hope in your heart had been extinguished, stomped out until no embers remained. He loved her in a way you knew he would never love you. Nothing would change that.
Three days later he picks you up for a date, a bouquet of flowers in his hands, tulips. The same kind as always. They weren't your favorite. You put them in water nonetheless, forcing a smile on your face as the two of you drove to the restaurant he’d made reservations at. Caleb tried to make small talk with you, giving him short responses and only half listening to his words. When he mentioned MC you turned your attention to him, listening to him gush about how she was promoted at her job.
“What are her favorite flowers? Does she like tulips?” You ask, hoping you were wrong. Caleb's smile seems to grow as he nods.
“They are! How'd you know that?” He doesn't see your face steel over, oblivious as he changes the topic to something a rookie said at work today.
He was never going to choose you. It was never going to be you. Your mind blanks for a second, a shooting star catches your eye as he parks the car, getting out and opening the door for you. You don't move.
It's a funny thing when someone gets an epiphany, some jump for joy while others scramble to take action, lest their idea slips their mind. You seem frozen in place as your mind seemingly resets.
“What the fuck am I doing?” you laugh dryly, eyes meeting Caleb's for the first time this evening. You can't stop the incredulous laughter that leaves your mouth, “Oh my god what the fuck am I doing?” You repeat yourself, a hand covering your mouth as you smile in disbelief.
“Baby? Are you alright?” Caleb’s face contorts in panic, reaching out to you only to pull away when you smack his hand “Hey what-”
“You were right,” you say, a smile still on your face as you turn to him, getting out of the passenger seat and standing next to him.
“Right about what? You're scaring me, you need to calm down, you're not thinking straight,” He glances around, grateful no one is around to see the state you were in.
“I deserve better.” You state, your voice wasn't small and apologetic, there was no kindness left in your words. “I don't know why I stayed when I realized you were choosing between me and someone else.” You shake your head, “I deserve to be the only choice, I deserve someone who wouldn't even think about entertaining another while they're with me.” Caleb opens his mouth to speak, you cut him off before he can. “I should have never been a choice, I should have been the only one,” you spit out. “Only me and you right?” venom drips from your words, Caleb flinches slightly.
“Did you say that to her while you fucked her too? After you lied to me about her staying somewhere else?” Caleb’s blood goes cold, face paling as the words leave your mouth.
You held out hope, you tried harder, he did nothing to change. He prioritized her the second she came back, he ran to her the moment she let him. He made a fool out of you, played you in plain daylight, and you all but let him. When did you become okay with being second best in your own relationship? When did you settle for less than you deserve?
“You were a good boyfriend for a bit there, but I don't deserve this shit.”
Caleb feels his throat tighten, he never thought you would actually leave him. He wants to tell you that you aren't a second choice, but he can't bring himself to lie to you any longer. He wants to convince you to stay, tell you he’ll do better, but he knows you deserve better. He knows he can’t let go of MC, he needs her, he loves her; It will always be her.
He doesn't try to chase after you when you walk away from him, hailing the first cab you see. Caleb thought he would feel relief, knowing he and MC didn't have to sneak around anymore, but as he watches your cab drive away he feels sick. A sinking feeling in his stomach as he realizes you weren't coming back.
It took you a while to get over Caleb, countless nights spent sobbing in your pillow and picking yourself apart. You’d go through the motions everyday; Go to work, come home, cry, sleep. It was a never ending cycle of you and your insecurities.
Your sadness slowly turned to anger, going out drinking with your friends as you worked through your emotions. Your friends were there to pick you up and piece you back, reminding you of your worth. It took three months for the memories to not leave a bitter taste in your mouth. You even found yourself feeling a bit grateful for the experience, vowing to never lose sight of your worth.
Slowly you’d reintegrated back into the world, hanging out with friends and visiting new bakeries and restaurants. It felt nice feeling free, knowing you didn't have to worry about anyone betraying your trust.
The AC feels nice against your skin, walking slowly around the art pop up your friends had invited you to. You’d heard the artist's name in passing, familiar with a couple of his more famous pieces. When you pause in front of a particularly interesting one you feel someone’s presence next to you.
“Seems kinda pretentious doesn't it?” The man stares at you, a playful smile on his lips. You smile back at him, focusing back on the painting before humming.
“I like it,” you reply, “kinda reminds me of a seagull choir or something,” a small chuckle escapes your lips. “You’re pretty harsh on yourself, don't you think?”
The artist's smile only widens as he follows you to the next painting. “I should've known better than to try and be mysterious,” he sighs out, you laugh. “Well since you know my name I think it's only fair I get to know yours, don't you think?”
“You saying I owe you something just because you're famous?” you quip back, biting back a smile as his eyes widen, waving his hands quickly.
“No! God no!” your laughter makes his panicking cease, jaw dropping slightly as he laughs in disbelief. “Oh you’re evil,” he smiles. You half expect him to thank you for attending and leave, but he follows you to the next painting.
“I’m y/n” you finally say, leaning closer to the painting and humming in appreciation, “I really like this one, my compliments to the artist.”
Rafayel smiles, chest puffing out in pride as he moves closer to you. “You can have it if you want, it'll only cost you a date with me.”
You scoff at his words, there was no way that was happening, you weren't nearly ready for a relationship. “Right,” you reply. Rafayel pauses, did he just get rejected? At his own art show?
“Was that a yes?” He asks, walking quickly to catch up next to you, leaning against the railing and staring at you when you grab a brochure and look at him. The painting he’s willing to give you is worth a couple million.
“I don't have room in my apartment for a painting that big,” you evade, flipping the brochure open before moving onto the next installation. “It was really nice meeting you, I love your work” you smile sweetly, Rafayel feels his knees buckle.
“What if I made you a smaller painting? One of a kind, one that fits in your apartment?” He stands in front of you, it's the closest you've ever seen him. You're suddenly aware why there's so many people swooning at his very move, his blue eyes stare into yours, you can see flecks of red in the lower half of them.
“One of a kind painting by Rafayel himself?” you gasp, “I could buy a house with that kind of money” you tease.
“I’ll give you all the money from this exhibition if you agree to go on a date with me.”
“Yeah okay” you say, the playful smile on your face slowly drops as he smiles back at you.
“Okay done, what bank do you use? I don't know exactly how much I'll make, it can take days for people to negotiate- I'll just send you the higher ballpark number,” he replies, not missing a beat as he pulls out his phone, typing away. “Also what’s your favorite flower?”
“Wait, no I was just joking!” Now it was your turn to panic, quickly running to his side to try and stop whatever he was doing on his phone. Your eyes narrow at him when you see the screen, it wasn't even on. “You’re evil” you echo his words from earlier.
“I’d say we’re even, cutie” the term of endearment has your face flushing, “your favorite flower?” he questions again, head tilted to the side as he awaits your response, the motion causes his purple bangs to cover his eyes ever so slightly.
“Lilies,” you reply, a pang in your chest as memories flood in.
“What time should I pick you up?”
You finally don't have a remark for him, mouth opening to protest, only to close it as his eyes glimmer at you. It must be from the lights shining on the paintings, you reason, there’s no way he's looking at you like that. There’s a reason you hadn't thrust yourself onto the dating scene, heart still fragile, insecurities still waiting to pounce.
“I can’t,” you finally say, tearing your gaze from his and placing the brochure in his hands, “I’m really sorry.” Rafayel furrows his brows, watching as you walk towards the exit. He takes a step forward, ready to chase after you, Thomas grabs his arm, pulling him towards the patrons who he’d kept waiting while he flirted incessantly with you.
A week later your phone buzzes while you're at work, casually sneaking a glance at it before your eyes go wide, slapping a hand over your mouth as you quickly excuse yourself outside.
[RAFAYEL QI has sent you $10,000 dollars]
your daily limit is only 10k, i’ll send you the rest tmrw or i can give it in cash when we go on our date?
You’re scrambling to try and contact him, calling his office number and being greeted by an exhausted voice. “This is Thomas, what can I help you with?”
“Hi, is there any way I can speak to Rafayel? It's urgent,” you bite your bottom lip, frowning when the man on the other side of the line laughs at you.
“And who is this? His long lost lover I presume?” His condescending tone makes your fists clench.
“Tell him it's y/n,” you snip back, bouncing your leg as you watch the cars drive past. There’s a brief pause on the line and a minute later you hear Thomas’ voice.
“Are you still there ma’am?” He seems much more respectful now than before. When you respond he lets out a sigh of relief, “Apologies for my attitude, Rafayel has asked me to give you his number so you can contact him directly, do you have something to write it down?”
You dial the number right after hanging up with Thomas, knee still bouncing anxiously as it rings once before being answered.
“Did you get your money, cutie? I can give you the rest cash if you'd like, it'll take a couple days for me to send-”
“Are you insane?” you hissed, “I thought you knew I was joking! How did you even get my bank information?” Rafayel is smiling on the other line, leisurely brushstrokes on his canvas as he listens to your scolding.
“I’m a man of my word, I don't intend on letting you slip away from me so easily,” he pauses for a second, “it's not everyday that someone sees the seagull choir inspiration behind my painting y’know.” You can't stop the scoff that leaves your lips, it only eggs him on. “One date is all I'm asking, please?”
“Why do you want to go on a date with me so badly?” You question, confidence wavering since the first time you'd met him.
“You’re beautiful, witty and funny, what more could a guy want?” He laughs.
His first love, you think, pushing the thought to the back of your mind. You let out a sigh, staring up at the clouds before biting your lip. He got his happy ending, what's stopping you from finding yours?
“You can pick me up tomorrow at 6 o’clock, I hate when people are late” you finally say, “I’ll text you my address.” You bite your bottom lip when you hear Rafayel thank you.
Rafayel shows up the next day at 5:59 PM, knocking on your door the second the clock hits 6 pm. You can't help but roll your eyes, smiling as you open the door. He's holding a bouquet of flowers, pink and white lilies.
The date goes well, much to your dismay, falling for his charms more than you anticipated. The two of you sit on the hood of his car, parked by the side of the highway overlooking Whitesand Bay. A comfortable silence falls over the two of you, the ocean breeze makes Rafayel's purple hair seem model-like, like he was made to be by the ocean.
“Can I ask you something?” His voice is soft, eyes focused on the waves breaking on the shore. You let out a hum for him to continue. “Why did you say you couldn’t come on this date with me?” There’s a brief pause, “you don’t have to answer, I’m just curious.”
You debate not answering, figuring it was much too soon to trauma dump and bring up exes. His index finger brushes against where yours rested on top of the car's hood. You steal a glance at him, his ears are flushed.
“My ex was in love with someone else,” you say plainly, sitting a little straighter, “He told me he only loved me, it was obviously a lie seeing as though he fucked her a couple days after telling me that.” You don’t tear your gaze from the ocean, letting its rhythmic sounds keep you grounded.
“As embarrassing as it is, I tried to make it work, let myself believe his empty words. My insecurities were eating me alive and it was just a bad situation. When I finally realized how stupid I looked I left, realized I deserved better than that.”
Rafayel turns to look at you, dumbfounded on how someone could treat you so terribly. “I didn’t want to rush into anything and make the same mistakes, I’d like to think I know my worth now, but you know how it goes.” You shrug, as if you hadn’t just bared your heart to him.
His hand finds its way over yours, intertwining your fingers and giving it a soft squeeze, his eyes flickering to your hands before settling on your face, unwavering when you look at him. “Give me one chance and I’ll show you the kind of love you deserve to know.”
The moonlight illuminates his features beautifully, the slope of his nose, curve of his lips, the color of his eyes. Your breath hitches as his gaze intensifies, honing in on you. “Please, let me be the one to show you,” his voice is gentle but firm, it sends a shiver down your spine in the best way possible.
You nod, swallowing the lump in your throat before speaking up, “okay,” you whisper, “one chance.” Rafayel smiles softly, using all of his willpower to not kiss you on the hood of his car.
You’re greeted by a bouquet of lilies the next day at work, a note in cursive sitting between the blooms.
“Thank you for last night, I hope to see you again soon- Rafayel”
The gesture makes your cheeks flush, your phone buzzing in your pocket.
[1 new message from Rafayel]
Did you get my gift? :3
yes they’re beautiful thank you so much
I’m shocked you remembered i like lilies lol
how could I not? they’re your favorite flower <3
Your cheeks burn as you lock your phone, embers of hope burn in your chest. What if it’s different? What if it’s worth a shot? You know your worth now, you won’t let yourself be treated as second best, not anymore.
Rafayel romances you hard. He takes you to dinner, sends you packages, and flowers to your home and at work, and shows up when you’re about to take your lunch break in his fancy sports car. “My horoscope said to appreciate the beautiful things in life, can I take you to lunch?”
You try to fight it, try to keep your words sharp and tone light. Slowly you find yourself wanting to let your guard down, letting your eyes linger on him for a second longer, embracing the flutter in your chest when he takes your hand in his to lead you through a busy street.
It’s scary to let yourself be vulnerable after being hurt viciously. But how beautiful is it to be loved? How wonderful does it feel to know you will be chosen over and over again?
And so you stop fighting it, heart pounding in your ears as Rafayel talks about a painting he was working on, telling you he’d found a new muse to inspire him.
“Someone new?” You feel the familiar pit in your stomach, eyes scouting the beach to see which way would be better for you to leave him. The sense of impending doom creeping up your spine, you should’ve known better, you would never be enough.
“Yeah, met them at an art pop up, I’m totally head over heels for them,” he smiles, eyes moving from the moon to your face, his smile morphing into a frown when he takes in your panicked features. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m sorry- I think I just got the wrong impression about this” you shake your head, blinking rapidly and moving to stand up. Rafayel grabs your wrist and pulls you down, causing you to lose your balance and land on top of him.
“You’re my muse,” he states, “it’s only you.” His eyes glance at your lips, you notice. Your heart is still pounding, your ears ringing. “Can I please kiss you?” His breathing is shaky and you respond with your lips on his.
It’s electrifying to be kissed like you’re someone’s lifeline, to be held like they never want to let you go. His grip on you is bruising, like he’s finally letting himself free of any restraint as his tongue moves against yours.
“Been wanting to do this since our first date,” he growls between kisses, lips still pressed against yours, pulling you impossibly close to him. “Please be mine, only mine,” his voice is desperate, whiny almost.
When you finally pull away from him your face is flushed and gasping for air, hair messy as you stare down at him. Your cheeks burn, hyper aware of the growing hardness beneath you.
“I had something more romantic planned out next week,” he admits, shyly looking to the side, you grab his chin and force him to look at you. “Would you do me the honor of letting me be your boyfriend?”
And when he’s looking at you like the greatest treasure in the sea, like you hold his heart in your hands, how can you say no?
“Yeah,” you breathe out, a smile on your lips as you place a gentle kiss to his nose. Rafayel can’t contain his happiness, a grin on his face as he pulls you against him, the two of you laughing loudly as you roll around in the sand.
You’re still a bit guarded around him at first, grateful with how patient he is with you, never once pushing your boundaries or pushing you for answers. Instead he shows you how much he cares about you, still buying you flowers (always lilies), taking you on surprise dates and buying you the things you mention in passing.
You open up to him about Caleb after your two months together, and it all seems to click for him.
“Last name Xia?” he asks, you nod, brows furrowed.
“How did you know that?”
“The girl he cheated on you with, was her name MC?” You feel your blood go cold, you give him a slow nod. “She’s supposed to be my bodyguard,” he chuckles dryly.
You go quiet, maybe you should’ve stayed cautious, you should’ve moved cities or countries, or-
“I’ll fire her, I can get the information I need some other way,” he shrugs, taking his phone out and sending an email before you can even process his words.
“I don’t want to get in the way of your work,” you finally sputter out, you suddenly feel small, the evil voice in the back of your head growing louder.
“It makes you uncomfortable for me to work with her, yes?” He watches you carefully, only continuing when you nod ever so slightly, opening your mouth with a rebuttal, he cuts you off before you can. “She played a part in hurting you in the past, yes?” You bite your bottom lip, nodding once more. “Then why would I want someone like that to work for me? I would do anything to make sure you’re comfortable, cutie.”
Your eyes burn, your bottom lip wobbles as you wrap your arms around him. Rafayel is stunned for a second, quickly reciprocating your embrace and rubbing your back.
“I love you,” you whisper, face buried in the crook of his neck as you say the words, half hoping he didn’t hear you.
Rafayel holds you tighter, you feel his body relax beneath you. “I love you so much,” he breathes out, neither of you daring to move. When you finally pull away you feel lighter, your heart seems fuller as you look at Rafayel. He giggles and blushes when you press a myriad of kisses on his face, a sloppy wet one right on the mole on the apple of his cheek.
You let your walls down, showering him in love and allowing yourself to be clingy. You let yourself love to the fullest, it’ll be scary, but you’re willing to try.
When you bump into Caleb two years later you don’t hold any resentment towards him.
“Y/N?” the familiar voice makes your head whip around, Rafyel turns and looks as well.
“Caleb? It’s been a while!” you smile softly at him, he looks tired. “How have you been?” His colonel uniform is just as pristine as it was the last time you’d seen him.
“I’ve been alright,” his eyes flicker to the man next to you, a pit in his stomach when he notices the two of you holding hands. It should’ve been him, he should’ve fought harder, he should've been better.
“Oh this is my boyfriend, Rafayel!” your eyes sparkle when you say his name, the purple haired man puffs his chest out a bit, holding his hand out, Caleb puts his hand in Rafayels, biting his tongue when your boyfriend's grip is bone crushing.
“Nice to meet you,” Rafayel smiles, Caleb notes the way his eyes narrow at him momentarily.
“Likewise,” before he can say anything else you speak up.
“How are you and MC?” your eyes hold no ill intentions, and Caleb’s knees buckle as he remembers how kind you were, kindness he used against you.
“We aren’t-” he pauses, eyes flickering over your face. You were so happy. Caleb’s eyes catch the necklace you’re wearing, a starfish and the letter ‘R’ dangling off a chain. He notices the cardigan you're wearing is a size or two bigger than what you usually wear, it must be his.
You were doted on, you were first choice, loved unconditionally. You deserved that.
So instead of telling you the truth, that he and mc didn’t work out and he regrets his decision every night. Instead of telling you he’d do anything to get you back, he’d do whatever it took for you to give him just one chance, he swallows his words and gives you the best smile he can.
“We're doing good, I’m glad you found someone you deserve,” he hopes you can’t hear the waver in his voice, his eyes don’t dare glance at Rafayel. He can feel the daggers being sent his way without looking.
When you say your goodbyes Caleb has a bitter taste in his mouth, his head spinning as he watches you walk away, forcing himself to tear his gaze from you.
You smile up at Rafayel, giggling when he presses a sloppy kiss to your cheek. “Raf!” you gasp as he picks you up, carrying you to the car before setting you down gently in the passenger seat. His eyes soften as they look at you, face flushed as you hold his gaze, “I love you,” he mumbles. You smile widely at his words, kissing his lips gently, laughing softly when he melts into the kiss.
You were thankful to Caleb. If it weren’t for him, you’d still be settling, you’d brush off your hurt for the comfort of others and never put yourself first. It wasn't forever, but you found yourself and your worth.
Rafayel talks about a new exhibit he was putting on, every painting inspired by you. His words seem to fade into the background as you stare at him, a soft smile on your face. You found your forever, and you’d never have to worry about settling again.
ᵕ˘͈ tags ; mentions of blood, depression, angst, break up, HEAVILY inspired by the linked song in the title, slight stalking..?
ᵕ˘͈ synopsis ; One of you is far more ahead and done with the relationship than the other.
ᵕ˘͈ Kandy's note ; hi hi!! this is a part of @thewrldx's playlist event!! congratulations on 2k bb!! you deserve it so much and I really hope you enjoy!! >.<
It had been months after Suguru had left. Your boyfriend, now ex, had left you exactly 37 weeks ago. You'd kept track. You couldn't stop thinking about him ever since he broke up with you that day.
You hadn't left your bed either. You just felt so empty, drained. You barely ate anything nowadays either, since there was no long, black haired man coming through your door using his extra key, and bringing in home made food he'd made an hour prior. He always waited at least 45 minutes exactly for it to cool down so you didn't burn yourself. He was so sweet, yet.. He'd left you. Broke up with you right there on the spot, like you never mattered.
In a matter of seconds, the man who was your whole world, your soul, your life, had thrown your once happy heart onto the ground and stomped on it, causing it to crush and splatter on the floor. Your heart had begun to mold after that. You hadn't felt anything ever since there. You were once sad that he left you, angry that he'd just left you like you were nothing, happy that he was doing something he wanted. Now? Nothing. Pure emptiness spreads through your chest day by day, causing you to lose your appetite and energy. You hated it. How you couldn't get over him, while he was miles ahead of you, probably pursuing something while you laid in your bed everyday, and rotted away.
You still had some of his hoodies. The ones you'd forgotten and he didn't take. You wore them often, until his scent ran out and the fabric began to grow too small around your neck, then you'd move to the next. Though, a few weeks ago, you'd run out. No more of his scent to be shared anymore.
You asked Satoru on the phone what cologne he used, since you knew he caught on to anything about Suguru since they used to hang out all the time. You could tell he was a little freaked out by the question, but you didn't care. His scent was the only thing that remotely calmed the ache in your ribcage.
There were a few occasions where you would go on your phone, searching up your username online on any app; Instagram, YouTube, TikTok. Just to know what he'd be seeing if he searched your name online to find you. You couldn't have him finding out you were living like this - rarely any showers, not eating, not even taking care of yourself. You couldn't have the one who caused all of this knowing that, could you?
You scrolled through post after post, checking every night if there were any new ones, and even looking at the likes to see if Suguru had liked any of them. Though, you wouldn't know anyways, since he'd blocked you on everything so then you couldn't keep in touch. But, there was that sliver of hope still plunged deep into your heart that thought that he maybe made another account, or even better, unblocked you.
Sometimes, you just think of all the moments you had together. Good ones, bad ones, anything to think of him. Though, no matter how much you hated it, you were slowly forgetting his face, his lips and eyes blurring slightly every time you thought of him. It was horrible, and you hated how you were forgetting about him. You still had his hoodies, some of his hair ties, so why were you forgetting about the most important thing about him?
Some days you just cried. Cried for hours on end until you couldn't breathe due to your throat being dry and sore while your nose was blocked with snot. Your eyes hurt more and more, being puffy and swollen from crying so much. You didn't know how to get rid of it, the aching, the pain, the fact you didn't have the energy to do something. It was like an endless void that you just couldn't escape.
You kept all the gifts you received from Suguru underneath your bed in a box. Christmas cards, little trinkets, bento boxes he let you keep from him. They used to sit on your desk, cramped there and reminding you of him more and more. Satoru was the one that put them in a box and under your bed. He'd come over once, once of the rare times, and noticed them sitting there, making you hurt more. So, he did something you couldn't, and pushed the box to the back of the bed, while you couldn't even push Suguru to the back of your mind until he crawled his way back up to the front again.
You hadn't taken away his ashtray, either. It was sitting on your nightstand, untouched. Before you'd left to meet him on that fateful night, you'd planned to empty it, but you forgot. By the time you came back, you didn't even care about it, too busy crying and sobbing harshly into the plushie he'd got you from a vending machine (which you still had). So, it now sits there, still with his finished cigarettes and ash in it.
ᵕ˘͈ woah so much writing ooo it's totally not only a few hundred ooo
i swear i hit shuffle, and songs just start painting a scene… if this happens to you too, this event is for you!!
rules:
⋆˚࿔ pick a song below (or send me one to add) and write about it! dm me so i can add you to the playlist!
⋆˚࿔ have fun! this event is for all my lovely followers and fellow writers. I LOVE YOU GUYS
⋆˚࿔ match the vibe of the song (don't write angst for a pocketful of sunshine) i have included some ideas/themes for songs, but feel free to make it your own!
⋆˚࿔ multi-fandom! write about whoever you want!
no word count limits | no deadlines | tag me and use #✮⋆˙j's playlist! for the event!
2k celebration mix:
tracklist 001 angst
empty pages - esha tewari
↳ author: me! | satoru gojo realizes he’s falling in love, but that it’s not the first time he’s done it… | angst, hurt no comfort, satosugu
pushing it down and praying - lizzy mcapline
↳ would probably include smut, imaging someone else during sex, missing an ex, hurt/no comfort
pretty pictures - indigo de souza
↳ breaking up with someone who you still love, but the relationship just isn't working anymore
hurts so good - astrid s
↳ fwb situation, it's toxic, it hurts but you can't stop going back to one another
tracklist 002 smut
cyber sex - doja cat
↳ author: @damianalily | TBD
babydoll - ari abdul
↳ author: @berrylus | TBD
folded - kehlani
↳ author: @rafayelkisses | TBD
track 003 fluff
everything is so romantic - charli xcx
↳ author: @mythblossoms | TBD
love song - lana del ray
↳ being hopelessly in love
track 004 other
affection - between friends
↳ i always think of two friends who look for affection in the wrong places and are confiding in each other about it
𝟅ϱ sum. zayne wants to know why you’ve been ignoring him.
it’s been hours since you’ve last spoke to zayne. every question from him has been met with an icy response and a glare to match it. he is used to your attitude— as he would like to put it. one year of marriage, including your limited time spent as children, has prepared him for many more years to come. but usually there is a reason for your cold silence around the shared house.
right now, zayne doesn’t know what to do.
“ my love?” he drawls out to your figure, currently lying at the bottom of your shared bed while your face is scrunched in irritation, the source of it being held in your hands. as expected, he’s met with your disinterested stare. “ is there something i did to make you mad? please, work with me here.”
“ no… you didn’t do anything.”
“ that means i definitely did something wrong, if your cold glares weren’t anything to go by.” zayne doesn’t credit himself as being the most open with his feelings; the man rather bear the weight of the world on his shoulders before you’d have an inkling as to what happened. but that changed the day he put a ring on your finger.
you shift to sit up, abandoning the switch and focusing on your husband. you hadn’t meant to take your anger out on the innocent man; mad at the situation rather than him you lost all rationality. “ i promise, zayne. it’s not you… entirely!”
he also shifts, body leaning on the doorframe as he crosses his arms, giving a sign that he’s listening.
“ it’s just that… your mii, fell in love with another mii. that’s not mine.”
silence.
“ what?”
“ see! this is why i didn’t want to tell you, i knew you wouldn’t understand!” i mean, who in their right mind would? besides your husband, apparently.
“ no… no i get it, i guess?”
he makes a move to sit beside you on the bed; his warmth and the silence in the house instantly have you melting into him. resting your head on his shoulder he wraps his arm around your waist, sealing the pose with a sweet kiss on top of your head.
“ ‘m sorry i ignored you for a stupid game, been trying all day to fix it.”
“ i would say it’s fine. but, can a heartbroken man get comfort from his wife?”
thinking about lemurian!rafayel being mates with selkie!reader
lemurian!rafayel who saw you walking along the shoreline for days and being confused by your beauty. humans were pretty, sure, but they didn’t tend to have the radiance you had- it was a certain something that couldn’t be placed- something that only creatures of the sea had.
you would walk up and down the shoreline for hours, never stopping to sleep, digging around in bushes and under rocks.
on the third day of watching you, you finally find what it is you’re after- a pelt! why would you need a selkie’s pelt?
lemurian!rafayel, who knows that selkie pelts are very sacred to them, wondered if he should drown you so that you leave the poor selkies pelt alone- they were probably looking for it! pelts were invaluable to selkies.
selkie!reader, who after finding her precious pelt that a human stole and hid from her, hears singing behind her. ugh, siren song, now?
selkie!reader who glares at the man, cradling her pelt to her chest and walking towards the ocean. “it’s rude to catcall.”
lemurian!rafayel who is shocked that his voice isn’t luring you to him, watches you dive into the water. he chases after you, only to find you swimming along, a seal tail in place of what was just legs.
“you’re not a human?” lemurian!rafayel asks, skepticism ringing in his voice.
selkie!reader who turns and wrinkles her nose at him. “clearly not- that’s even more insulting than me thinking you were catcalling me- you were trying to kill me?!”
lemurian!rafayel who, after that moment, became enthralled by you. he courted you day after day with the most colorful shells he could find, a variety of pearls, elaborate jewelry (that he totally didn’t steal from humans, pfft) and anything else he could get his hands on.
selkie!reader who is beyond unimpressed with rafayel’s gifts- what was she supposed to do with these? useless!!
lemurian!rafayel who stalked the area of the ocean and the rocks you stayed around, trying to find a way to impress you. it was then when he saw a male selkie courting a female selkie- and it worked!
…but at what cost. lemurian!rafayel hovered in the water in front of selkie!reader, barking, slapping his hand against his belly loudly and with the vigor of a mad man, ending the courtship ritual with a dashing lap around you! huh, selkie courting traditions sure were different from both lemurian and siren traditions.
selkie!reader who stares at rafayel in disbelief and… approval?!
once selkie!reader accepted lemurian!rafayel as her mate, the two were inseparable, often swimming together side by side or in a spiral with their tails entwined.
they would often wear matching hairstyles, lemurian!rafayel’s adorned with pebbles that you gift him, and your hair pinned back with various shells that your lover sifted through until he found the perfect one.
selkie!reader, who after realizing she’s in love, feels comfortable shedding her pelt around lemurian!rafayel, trusting that he wont steal it.
lemurian!rafayel who sunbathes with you on rocks and sandbars, occasionally dipping back into the water to soothe his drying-out tail.
the ultimate sign of trust came one night when lemurian!rafayel was cold and you covered him with your pelt- giving your most important item to your lover to comfort him.
a/n: i hate this but i spent too much time on it to not post it🫠also hes ooc as fuck whatever dude
tags (am i even supposed to tag for smth short idk): @colonelkaboom @sweetcalebb @heartyluv @rafayelkisses @wetforsylus @angeleclair @insidious-innocence @xaviersbunny @deepspacenova @silverianni @paintedperidot @luvleixo @gardenialily
Caleb x NonMc!Reader hurt comfort reader lives with her hoarder family and has OCD
"He wasn't sure what to say. With emcee he always knew what to say, what to do. It was like he could read her mind. With you, it wasn't there like that. All he wanted was that he cared for you, when he saw you hurt he wanted to take you away from it all. All he knew was that he had to get you out of there and that he was going to support you. He wanted to fix it but he knew he couldn't, the only thing he could do was be there for you. He wanted to pour his heart and love out to you, to give you a life where you were cherished and treasured just as you deserved. A life that started with this, giving you a space where you were safe."
୨ৎ Zayne Li comforts you during a severe depressive episode ୨ৎ
cw: emotional reader, depressive episode, suicidal ideation, medication, Zayne comforts you, I wrote it bc I felt it so its like super raw feelings, hurt with comfort at the end, mentally unwell reader, no use of YN, petnames (darling, my jasmine, my love, etc). I hope this can help others going thru similar stuff!
a/n: I told myself I wouldnt write or post anything till I was done renovating this dusty ol blog but i was sad, I wrote this for zayne but feel free to use whoever you'd like here. my debut into ladsblr too ig. uhhhhh yeah. i actually wrote this in tumblr drafts so idk what the wc is, somewhere arounddddd maybe 800 or so yeah. um um um its been a while since ive written so it may be a bit wonky. okay yeah. take ur meds kids, take it from someone who has personal experience, meds at the recommended and prescribed dosage y'all.
It's spinning and spinning and spinning. The surge of emotions is eating you alive. Your soul cries out for something, anything. Nothing. You thought it would be okay, you were getting better. You thought you could stop taking your meds, that you could survive on your own for once. Oh how wrong you were, how weak you are. It had only been a few days but the darkness inside is grasping you, the numbness clawing at your rotting heart, the pain burning in your throat. It hadn't been this bad in a while. As the world spun you sat there, with bleary eyes you looked at the clock.
9:43 AM
You were supposed to be at the association by now, you can't call out sick again. You can't give in. You failure. You useless piece of trash. You idiot how could you do this again. You said you were better. So weak you have to rely on a little pill to keep you sane.
It's getting hard to breath. The warm blanket drawn over you starting to suffocate you. You can't move you don't have the energy. Why is someone like you even alive, why are you still here. You were supposed to end it years ago why are you so selfish to think you could breathe freely. How dare you. How could you do this to everyone. Someone, anyone, please, save me, help me, talk to me. But you were alone, your silent pleas for help gone unheard and still unwelcome. No one was going to come for you. Not now, not ever. You might as well stop now so that your existence can't bother anyone else-
"Darling?"
A voice. His voice, his precious voice.
"Darling?" a little louder this time.
Loud enough to bring you from your stupor. Your tear filled eyes saw a blurry face, a face you cherished and knew well.
"Z-Zayne?" your voice still hoarse from disuse.
"My love are you hurt? You don't have a fever, is everything okay?"
"Wait why are you here? I thought you had a shift today." You bring your hand up to clear your very runny nose, a poor attempt to hide the sob session gone wrong you were having.
"That isn't important right now. You are very clearly hurt by something, please do not hide from me."
His hazel eyes looked at you intently, as if piercing into your soul and dragging out all you wished to keep hidden.
"I'm fine, really, I just overslept a little. Don't worry about me."
This was a bad attempt at comforting him. Your avoidance only made your evident pain that much more clear.
"Dear, you and I both know that isn't true. You texted me this morning saying you were getting ready to go. Please do not insult my intelligence with these lies."
His scarred hands cupped your face now, tender despite the obvious fear in his eyes, a slight tremble overcame his calm demeanor. His thumb brushed away a tear, thumb warm against your wet cheek.
You couldn't say anything. You didn't know what to say or how to say it. How could you do this to him, when all he has ever done is be good to you? How dare you bother him, burden him, hurt him like this. How could-
"My darling I can see where your mind is right now and I am telling you to stop. You are not a burden, I love you. I adore you. You are not hurting me."
"But-"
"No buts. You have said the same thing to me on a number of occasions."
You couldn't speak, for fear you would start to cry, so you nodded. Your lips still trembled and your vision was still spotty but now you had your pillar with you.
"You don't have to explain everything, but you need to answer one question for me."
You nodded again.
Zayne leaned closer now, he was kneeling by the bed so his gaze was peering up towards yours. His eyebrows close together from distress, glasses fallen slightly down his noce.
"Have you been adhering to your medication that the psychiatrist prescribed?"
Your breath hitched, your eye said it all. He stood up and walked over to your dresser where you had placed the wretched orange bottle for safe keeping. Every step he took towards it taunted you. How could you do this, how could you do this knowing the consequences? He was going to hate you now, he was going to leave. He should leave.
He opened the bottle and looked at the date it was filled, counting each pill in his hand. He sighed and put the pills back into the bottle and closed it. When he turned to face you that's when the dam broke open.
"Please. Please I'm so sorry Zayne. I thought I could do it, I thought I could make it. I'm sorry. Please don't be mad, I'm sorry. I thought I was strong enough."
You were curled up in the bed, your incoherent cries muffled by the mattress. Your fingers tore at your hair, trying to do something, anything, to make it stop. Your sobs turned into chokes as you struggled to breathe.
You don't know when it happened but at some point Zayne had crawled into your bed and had enveloped you in a hug. He gently stroked your back as he held your head against his now unbuttoned collar.
"It's okay. I'm not mad I just wanted to determine a possible source of the pain." His hand remained firm and comforting at your back.
You finally looked him in the eyes, "So, you're not mad at me?"
Your breath was still labored.
"You are correct my jasmine, am I worried? Yes. But that's just a part of loving a person as much as I love you."
Your heart swayed as his words surrounded you like a warm hug.
"I'm sorry."
"Don't. Don't be sorry for something clearly out of your control. We will work through this together."
He brought his lips to your forehead in a comforting kiss.
"Okay." Your breath now coming in uneven but calmer now.
"That's my good girl."
Your cheeks burned at the praise, he really does know how to get you going.
"I-I still have to go to work."
"I called out for both of us, you need to rest and I wish to stay with you is all."
You both knew he meant he didn't want to leave you alone in this precarious state but he chose not to say it out loud.
You opened your mouth to protest but he beat you to it.
"And I will not hear any contention on the matter." He kissed your forehead again, this time trailing down the side of your face onto your cheek.
The pain was still there, but now so was he.
"So, wait, why were you home again?"
"Oh I had forgotten some important papers for a consult I had later."
Divine intervention it seems, thankfully you had your husband with you.
summary: beach day goes wrong when snowapple gets into a fight.
cw: caleb's...nether regions mentioned; this is just very stupid LOL
You float near the shoreline, cool water licking your back and golden sunlight beaming down overhead that wraps you in its warmth. The salty air kisses your cheeks as the sounds of distant gulls carry through the breeze like nature’s radio. Your body, relaxed and weightless, undulates to the rhythm of the waves, a soothing motion that makes you sigh contently.
What a perfect summer day.
“Caleb, stop this nonsense at once!”
“Make me, big boy!”
Well, almost a perfect day.
You let out another sigh, this one exasperated, and force yourself to stand.
“Caleb! Zayne! What the hell is going on?!” You shout with your hands on your hips.
Both of the men pause mid-action in the sand, whipping their heads at you like deers in headlights. Frankly, you’re not sure who looks dumber.
Zayne, who’s supposed to be the more mature person of the two, lays horizontal across the beach towels you rolled out earlier, one hand clenched around Caleb’s ankle to stop him from moving while his other pulls far too down at the man’s swim shorts. You can see the hint of butt crack from here.
Caleb, who you know started this whole mess, has one hand tugging up his shorts for dear life as his right one keeps three scoops of mint chocolate chip ice cream floating in the air. The empty waffle cone now sits abandoned near Zayne’s foot in the sand.
Under your glare Zayne tries to situate himself first, letting go of his friend’s foot and sitting upright, only to turn and fully pants Caleb in a sneak attack no one saw coming.
You gasp in horror as Caleb screeches like a banshee, tugging up his shorts before anyone else could see his… and incidentally withdrawing his evol as the ice cream unceremoniously plops into the sand.
“You idiot! That was my sweet treat for the day!” Zayne yells while pointing at the now melted dessert.
“Oh boo hoo, Zayne! Your dentist told you to lay off the sugar anyway. And because of you, my schlong just whipped out for the whole beach to see!” Caleb shouts back, face flushed red in embarrassment.
“As if anyone could have spotted such an average sized membrum virile,” Zayne mumbles under his breath.
“What did you just say to me, Mr. Pre-diabetic?”
A few insults, two busted lips, and one black eye later, the ‘three amigos reunion' beach trip ended shortly after that.
ginny's note: this was based off a suggestion @maemi324 gave me, but lowkey it derailed from her og idea and is def not fluff ARGH >:( but this did help with my writer's block so we'll take the win i guess
inspired by this and this ask THANK YOU MY BABIES @spacekittiesmeow + @berrylus I HOPE THIS IS GOOD
Zayne loves kissing you.
At this point, it's less a habit and more a necessity… like breathing, or sleeping, or whatever else he claims is "essential for optimal function." Some would argue it's his version of stress relief with how often his lips find yours. Soft, fleeting presses when he passes by. Slow, lingering ones when he has a moment. And sometimes, deeper, hungry smacks of intimacy.
So no—you didn't question it when he started kissing you more often.
Like… a lot more often.
Not that you were complaining, but still.
You twist open the tube of cake-batter flavored lip balm you'd picked up at a gas station, swiping a glossy layer across your lips. You barely have time to cap it before Zayne is on you.
It's not aggressive, but it is urgent as he leans across the couch and presses his mouth to yours.
You blink when he pulls away, smiling a little. "What was that for?" you ask, slowly reapplying the thin coat he'd kissed away.
Zayne watches, then without a word, he leans in again.
Another kiss, this one slightly longer.
"…Zayne."
He hums, like there's no issue.
You narrow your eyes, tapping the tube lightly against your palm. "You're being weird."
"I'm kissing you," he replies simply. "Since when has that been weird?"
"It's different."
"It isn't."
You raise a brow. He raises one back.
Oh, he knows you've figured him out.
With a smirk, you lean back into the cushions, pretending to drop it. But the lip balm carefully glides across your lips again, leaving them a glossy mix of the two things he loves most in this world.
He lasts all of five seconds.
Then he's back—closing the distance like he doesn't plan on leaving it again—kissing you in a rapid, greedy succession, barely giving you time to breathe between them. One lands a little off, brushing the corner of your mouth. Another against your cheek, then your jaw, before he corrects himself, pressing a slower, more deliberate kiss your lips.
Because how could he resist you all warm and soft beneath him with that sweet, sugary gloss he's already decide he likes far too much.
“Zayne!” you manage to squeal out between breaths, laughing as his kisses keep coming. "Stop—too many—"
"I can't," he murmurs, and there's a smile in his voice as he plops another wet kiss on your mouth. "You taste too good."
Your back hits the couch with a soft thump, his weight following as he braces himself over you. His hands find your waist while his mouth keeps yours busy with slower, deeper kisses, victory for getting what he wanted.
Your fingers curl into his hair, mouth parting as his tongue drags over your lips, a quiet hum of approval when he catches that lingering sweetness again.
In the heat of the moment, you completely forget about the lip balm.
Until the next day.
You're digging through the couch cushions, then the floor, the under the coffee table.
Nothing.
"Zayne!" you call, already suspicious as your make your way towards his office. "Have you seen my—"
You stop in the doorway and Zayne freezes.
There, in his hand, is your missing lip balm.
And worse—better?—his lips are slightly glossy, his tongue just barely drawn back like you caught him mid taste.
"Zaynie, did you steal my chapstick?"
He straightens.
"I found it on the floor," he says calmly.
You just stare.
"…Are you eating it?"
His ears turn pink.
"It's technically edible," he defends, adjusting his glasses like this is a perfectly reasonable argument. "In small quantities, it poses no health risk."
"Zaynie."
"Yes?"
"You cannot consume lip balm like it's a snack."
"…Noted."
You sigh, walking over and plucking the tube from his hand, "If you want it so bad, you can get it the normal way."
Zayne's gaze flickers to your lips, then to your eyes.
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