Imgoingtohell

[tidbitsandpoetry]

To live another day

To smile and the sun and say

"Yes sunshine I shall live another day"

To wander aimlessly in the fray

Because you have chosen to live another day

A beautiful dreadful day

A day you should explore and expirence

To love to hate to live

To live another day

Please my dear try?

Just to see the sunshine again?

To see the smiles to hear the laughs?

To smell the flowers and see the bees?

Please Please please, could you try and live just another day?

For living

For life

To live another day?

[tidbitsandpoetry]

I love you

More than anything. More than anyone.

More then drawing more then poetry.

I love you.

My perfect prince. Mine mine mine.

I'll keep you forever and never forget your name. Even if you leave someday ill still be here.

Waiting with open arms. For a simple reason.

I love you.

[tidbitsandpoetry]

What are we?

You were in my bed. Your hand up my shirt. Your other was in my pants. It felt so good so fucking good.

You touched and I whined and the moment you stopped I wanted more.

I wanted you to keep your hands and keep touching. I want it so bad so fucking bad.

You your hands your smile. You just You.

I want you but.

But what are we? Friends with benefits? Lovers? Something I do not know how to name?

I don't know.

Maybe it doesn't matter. As long as I have you I don't care.

[tidbitsandpoetry]

I think it's getting bad again

I think I'm getting better and then there's a moment

A moment where I feel empty and sad and yet feel nothing at all

And then I look up

At you and through messages sent and I'm filled with something

Something like love and warmth

I think it's getting bad again

But I also think you can help keep me here

Then I realize despite my moments I think I'm getting better

I think it's getting bad again

But your my friend and that will sooth my aching heart until it gets better

[tidbitsandpoetry]

I'm sorry

I write letters you'll never see.

Filled with words I'm too scared to breath.

I'm sorry for what I have done

I'm sorry that you have not won

Letters with words meant for no one but me

Yet they too were adressed to you even if I would never let you see

Letters written paper bent

Tear stained pages sobs kept silent

My apologies all written on a page for my cowardly voice could not speak them outloud

Held silent with barbed wire at my throat I cry cry cry

For sometimes I wish to die

Instead I write my sorrows on a folded page and cry

I'm sorry

[tidbitsandpoetry]

Dear fuck

I went to my friend maybe more persons basketball wit my boyfriend. For context both me and bf have been super touchy/sweet to friend (he's adorable). But anyway he goes "My [friends nickname] is awesome I love him" so I giggle a little and say "he your boyfriend?" Bf goes "idk maybe" both laugh and then get distracted by game

Little while later I go "so can we share him or?" Bf goes "no minee" I laugh and call him our [friends name] rest of game

Fnos9rnfm I love themmmm

[tidbitsandpoetry]

I would kneel for you if you asked.

I would drop to my knees and lay my head on your thigh because I want to be there and God, I don't know why.

But I would for you my dear.

[tidbitsandpoetry]

I was talking to my mom once. Don't remember bout what exactly but later I brought up something I said to her and she said 'You were ranting about something so I just tuned you out' I never felt so fucking alone and unloved. It didn't matter if what I was talking about wasn't important I was talking because I wanted to be heard and have her listen and she ignored me .

It hurt but whenever I was quiet she freaked out acting all worried. Maybe she really was maybe she wasn't I don't even know I just know I love and hate her. I know I want to love her but I always want to run from her.

I don't know I don't fucking know

She's my mom

I feel like I have to love her but I don't sometimes.

I DONT KNOW

[tidbitsandpoetry]

So my friend who thought he was bi kissed a guy and now is questioning life. ANYWAY I asked about the big important question. Am I still allowed to make gay jokes. (All over text BTW too shy to ask that shit irl lol) So he kinda seemed uncomfortable about it so I just said I'd stop but If he ever started liking guys again he had to tell me lol.

Anyway idk it just felt so weirdly good? Like making a boundary felt nice even if it wasn't really all me? Like it's his boundary and I just asked if what he was chill with changed and he said yes and we were all healthy and shit.

Gonna try my best to not make gay jokes. K so that sounds dickish my bad its kinda just habit? Like I'm bi and he thought he was bi and never said he was uncomfortable and laughed at them so- what I'm saying is it was joking between two friends and I don't think I was being an ass? He never seemed unhappy or uncomfy wit it anyway. And I got used to the routine of it so now I just gotta try and stop.

Just gotta try my best ig I'll apologize if I fuck it up lol. I think it's more important that I'm trying my very best to keep that boundary uncrossed than anything else lol.

[tidbitsandpoetry]

Soo my mom always used to be like-

"Everyone's doing stuff stop having attitude" when she made me do stuff even if nobody else was doing shit. And the stuff she was making me do was all stuff she could and should have done.

I hated it tbh and that among like a hundred different reasons is why I cut contact and why she will be living out her last days in a nursing home.

So why did yall cut contact or are going to cut contact with your parents?