wish you were sober || lee sunmi x reader
It was so much to take in. The confessions were plunging you down a deep hole, her voice repeatedly echoing in your head. She didn't mean it, as much as you wanted it to. You knew, even before she could admit it, that she never loved you. Never cared for you. They say drunk confessions are the sweetest, because they turn out to be true some time. You knew, however, that this wasn't gonna be that way with you two. You were strangers, and then friends, and then fuck buddies. And when you confessed one night, her arms wrapped around you as you laid comfortably on her bare stomach, that she meant more than that to you— it was too late for you to realize you practically broke the bond between you two.
Sunmi only stroked your arm after that, kissed your temple, and said, “You're gonna find someone worthy of you.” and ever since then she kept you at arm's length. It was only a matter of time until she finds a new woman to mess with. You never held it against her. Perhaps it was because of your feelings for Sunmi, but you never pushed her for anything more than what she wanted.
So it was a surprise when she invited you to a party to celebrate the success of her comeback, Heroine. You were pretty proud of her. And you didn't wanna upset Sunmi by not going.
“Did it hurt?” she was slurring, you understood the question, anyway.
“Hmm?” You hummed, now back at the familiar room you've spent most your nights into last month. You'd be lying if you said you didn't miss this place.
“When I turned you down.” Sunmi says, still drunk.
You bit your lip at that, recalling that painful night. It has been a month, and yet you could still feel the pang and ache in your chest when she said those words and nothing more after. You never slept that night, keeping the tears to yourself as you listen to her steady breathing.
You said nothing, only carefully placed Sunmi on her bed. She was swaying side to side you had to keep a hand on her left shoulder for her body to lean unto. She stared at you, her eyes sleepy, “Undress me.”
“Let me just grab your pajama.”
Lucky for you, you were able to reach for her pajama and a tank top for her to sleep in. When you looked back at her direction she was still staring at you, awkwardly so. You didn't regard it. Didn't want to.
“You never answered my question.”
“So? It's still a question.” She retorts, huffing at you. You were pretty sure she was going to regret this tomorrow. “Did it hurt you? Did I hurt you?”
You started taking off her cardigan, expertly zipping down her dress' zipper at the back. She wore this dress during her 24th birthday. You remembered because you liked how it hugged her waist perfectly, showing off her beautiful curve you stroke every night. You remembered, too, because that evening she told you she wore it only because she wanted you to take it off. You missed those nights. And you started wondering whether it was your fault those things are gone now that you exposed yourself to her and confessed your feelings.
“I'm sorry.” Sunmi mumbled as you slid off the straps from her shoulders. She raised her arms up like a toddler and motioned for you to take the dress off, and you looked away as you did.
It would feel like a crime if you didn't. You've never slept together for a month already, and you weren't entirely sure she's still comfortable with you seeing her naked.
She regained her balance for a while, and you took advantage of it and hastily dressed her in her pajamas. When you finally finished and laid her down to bed, her eyes were still wide open and looking at you. You cleared your throat, “I need to go.”
“Stay. Please. I love you.”
Your heart skipped a beat, and you were almost sure it broke in three pieces just when it started healing. “I love you, too, Sunmi. And I really wish you were sober right now.”
“I am sober! Can't you just stay? It's been so long since I've seen you.” she continued pleading, a pout forming on her mouth.
You flashed her a small smile and approached, planting a soft kiss on her forehead. You missed her so much it hurts to know this might be the last time you're gonna ever see her again. With her busy schedule, and your damned feelings, there's a slim chance she'll ever want to meet up with you.
“Sleep, I'll let your manager know you're gonna need some pills for your hungover tomorrow.”
Sunmi sighed at this, admitting defeat, but not before she kissed you on your lips you could practically taste the wine. It was quick yet tender. And you missed it. You missed her lips. You missed everything about her you were tempted to sleep in the night. But you knew better, of course. You knew this was a lost cause. And you knew she could never love you back, and staying in would only hurt you more. “I missed you, [Y/N], I missed you a lot.” Sunmi finally closed her eyes and it didn't take a second for her to drift into sleep.
You spent a few minutes looking at her, thinking just how crazily beautiful she is. Thinking of how she looked so calm and so peaceful when she's asleep, some days you dreamed of waking up to it— her, beside you sleeping, the sun still rising.
Maybe in some crazy parallel universe, you two got together. Maybe your dreams came true. Maybe you never get to deal with this kind heartbreak. Maybe she loved you back. In some crazy parallel universe.
