tilda

sundry internet gewgaws writing | escape pod

[woman-becomer]

imagine a goat with a hat

STOP-

what hat did you give the goat what is the instinctual hat you gave to this goat

[sleepnoises]

just met a three month old pomeranian named horchata. her paw was the size of my fingertip. she looked like half a dandelion fluff

[sleepnoises]

this just got a hockey rpf tag. due to the nature of this website

[sleepnoises]

other hockey rpf enjoyers now expressing skepticism and disbelief at the choice of man referenced above and tagging it with their preferred and more horchataesque men. i love it here and i'll leave when i die

[clairenovvak]

i don’t believe teenage girls learn about gay fanfiction i think they each individually create the idea in their head first

[picsthatmakeyougohmm]

hmmm

[rubykgrant]

You BEHEAD Marie Antoinette?

[commodorecliche]

you CHOP her head like the GUILLOTINE??

[quadradaz]

OH OH CHAOS FOR FRANCE! CHAOS FOR FRANCE FOR 1000 YEARS!!!!

[petermorwood]

Pity I hadn’t seen this closer to Bastille Day… :-D

[carouselcometh]

Devastating! Art museum gift shop doesn’t sell prints of specific and unpopular painting that struck a cord with you!

[rhera]

BEWITCHED Season 1, Episode 4: Mother Meets What's His Name

[dragons-are-epic]

None of the other parties are running so it's genuinely going to be Farage vs Count Binface in the Clacton by-election.

[cecoeur]

Hudson Williams - Dripping Sweat at Balenciaga Couture 🪭

[taskmastercaps]

[ID: Eleven screencaps from Taskmaster. Armando Iannucci says, "And I've always hated it... Always hated it when, like, at weddings, when somebody goes, 'Come on and do a dance! Come on!' And I go, 'No, I hate da...' 'No, come on!' And I resolved when I hit 60, which I did last year, that if that happens again, I will just tell them not to touch me, and I will phone the police. Any wedding I'm at and I'm asked to dance, I'm just going to say, to the bride's mother, 'Fuck off.'" End ID.]

[uncahier]

Yeah, I’d watch Muppets Lord of the Rings

[baggebythesea]

"He should have stopped when he was still AHEAD!"

[arcadialedger]

Absolutely brilliant. No notes.

[kyraneko]

OK but Statler and Waldorf need to have climbed the tower of the Eye of Sauron and be watching the whole movie from there.

With ear trumpets and opera binoculars on a stick to explain how they can hear and see every bit of dialogue and bit of action.

Sauron himself needs to be ignorant of their presence immediately below him, and they need to call attention regularly to everything the character that's a literal giant eye doesn't notice.

Once the Ring is destroyed and the tower is fallen they need to be clambering out of the rubble and:

"Looks like the Eye of Sauron is closed."

"Looks like the Eye of Sauron was closed for the whole movie!"

And they both laugh.

[bellabs-dream-lab]

Just remembered I had this screenshot on my phone somewhere and had to post it here because it really speaks to me

[eldradmvstlive]

Tom Baker’s thoughts on a female Doctor from a 1983 convention panel ❤️

[elgreytea]

What are you reading rn, why are you reading it, and what format are you reading it in (physical book, ereader, on your phone etc)

[yesornopolls]

Do you remember the first fanfic you ever read?

Do you remember the first fanfic you ever read?

Yes

No

Voting ended onJul 5

[sistertaxon]

why are there so many posts about asexuals being immune to sirens. people. sirens don’t lure you in with sex (necessarily). they sing about whatever it is that you want most. they could sing about mothman or cinnamon toast crunch and guess what then your asexual pirate is fucking dead

[thesylverlining]

this is the only kind of ace discourse i ever want to see on my dash. the only kind. ever again. good job

[kittyknowsthings]

Do you think the sirens would be grateful that they finally get some variety? 

[systlin]

“Oh my god we can finally just sing about pasta thank the fucking gods.” 

[totohoy-blog]

I’m not asexual but I’m fairly certain sirens would do a far better job luring me into the depths with a song about pasta rather than sex…

[systlin]

I mean. 

“WHAT THE FUCK STAY AWAY FROM THE ROCKS.”

“FUCKER THEY SAID THEY HAVE FETTUCCINE CARBONARA AND HOT GARLIC BREAD OVER THERE HANG ON BITCH.” 

[musicalhell]

This is true; Odysseus heard them promising him knowledge of the future.  So the next time you see artwork like this:

Remember those sultry naked chicks are saying “We’ll tell you the winning lotto numbers.”

[fuckstaffposts]

Them: “We have unlimited wifi at incredible speeds~” Me: *diving headfirst into the water*

[rpluvsyj]

This post is a blessing

[wittyusername97]

Congratulations! Odysseus! You’ve been selected as a winner for the free $1000 Amazon Gift Card, Apple iPhone X 256G or Samsung Galaxy S8! Claim your prize now!

[kitvalkyrie]

Oh my god sirens were literally scam websites

[10thingsihateabout-all-yall]

Oh my god they were phishing

[asmrgaret]

it’s weird that professional letters are supposed to start with “dear.” i don’t even call my mom that

[asmrgaret]

my darling hiring manager. my springtime rose. if hired i will bring a strong work ethic to this position

[cosmonautroger]

1983, Bauhaus, The Creatures, Iron Maiden, Tracey Ullman, Tears For Fears, The Human League