Let people misunderstand you, let people miss you, let people be wrong about you. Your peace is not dependent on their accuracy.

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@kittyknowsthings
Let people misunderstand you, let people miss you, let people be wrong about you. Your peace is not dependent on their accuracy.
Dear Men Writers
Lesser known facts when writing women:
High heeled shoes don’t become flats if you break the heels off.
The posts of earrings aren’t sharp.
Nail polish takes a long time to dry and smudges when wet.
You can’t hold in a period like pee.
Inserting a tampon is not arousing or sexual in any way, ever.
Feel free to add your own.
- Bras leave red marks on the skin under and around boobs and it is a magical experience when taken off.
- Make up can take anywhere from 5 to 25 minutes depending on how skilled you are.
- Taking hair out of a ponytail after wearing it for hours does not make it perfectly straight when it comes down.
- Hair when wet sticks to the skin it no longer flows, idiot.
-When women with long hair kiss, turn around, do anything, their hair falls in the way.
- Stockings are itchy and tear like wet paper bags.
- Pantyhose, tights, leggings, and stockings are each different. - Waxing hurts and leaves red skin for a while afterwards while shaving leaves stubble - Most can’t run in heels unless they have been VERY worn - Insecurity in appearance doesn’t mean “buy me a drink” - EVERYONE HAS DIFFERENT TASTES IN EVERYTHING
-Having large breasts sucks. It sucks beyond belief. If a garment happens to fit your large chest, odds are it won’t fit the rest of you. Underboob sweat is real and terrible. Bending over for extended periods of time will tweak your back out. Running can be painful due to boob turbulence. Bras are hella expensive. Big breasts are not fun.
Putting a tampon in isnt a quick bend-poke-done kinda deal. It involves cubicle yoga, messy hands, numerous curse words as you realise it isnt in correctly and have to take it out and start again with a new one.
Yes to all of this. But also:
If her hair is in an updo, one does not simply remove a hairpin to send her hair cascading down her back. No. If her hair is an updo, it will take at least an hour and an extra set of hands to remove the 137 bobby pins that are holding her hair in place. Furthermore, there’s probably a can’s worth of hairspray in there, intended to withstand category 2 hurricane winds. There’s no cascading happening here - the best you can hope for is a misshapen nest of hair to clump and poof unattractively in the back while it still remains flat against her scalp.
This is one of the funniest posts I’ve seen in a while (especially if you read all the comments), but also really depressing because at 42 I still judge myself as having failed for not matching up to all these mythical stereotypes despite knowing they’re impossible
^^^This though
The odds of a woman having smoothly shaved legs and armpits are directly proportional to the amount of skin her clothing bares and/or the amount of fucks she gives at that particular moment.
GLASSES ARE NOT COSMETIC. If we whip them off, we do not become gorgeous fashion models. We become squinty.
-most women wear bras. Yes, even when they are trying to dress sexy. Because bras make boobs look perkier and rounder, which is something men apparently find sexy, so being a seductress or femme fatale is not an automatic reason for a female character to not be wearing a bra.
-a good bra will hide headlights, or at the very least drastically reduce their noticeability. A women with enough pointy nipple issues will opt for a padded or molded bra to hide them.
-women’s nipples do not automatically become hard pyramids visible through any and all layers of clothing the second they become even slightly aroused. They are not the female equivalent of boners. And even if their nipples do get hard, the bras they are almost certainly wearing (because even a goddamn succubus with big, honkin’ knockers for seducing men is gonna have those painful puppies in some kind of boob sling) should keep those pointy nipples from being visible to every other character in the scene, JIM BUTCHER. YES, EVEN LARA RAITH WOULD WEAR A BRA ONCE IN A GODDAMN WHILE.
if you’re being tied up and tortured in a freezing underground dungeon, then you probably have more important things to pay attention to than how hard somebody’s nipples are, jim butcher
- Wearing a bra that doesn’t fit HURTS. It’s not sexy to wear a bra that’s “two sizes too small”, it’d make your clothes hang oddly and you’d have a weird, uncomfortable “quad-boob” effect and your back would hurt, BEN AARONOVITCH.
Also, after removing a too small bra, there’s gonne be angry red lines on the boobs and ribs and the lady is not going to want them to be touched by anyone for a good long while
-Not all women wear heels. Those things hurt and are hard to balance in. They can also mess up your feet and back pretty bad.
-Lips aren’t just naturally red “as if she’d been drinking wine but they were just like that without makeup cause she’s so perfect,” my dear little Kvothe from ‘Name of the Wind’. Also, girls do not naturally smell like fruit or flowers, it’s either perfume or something she’d been eating recently.
I’ve been appreciating this post but now it’s back very specifically calling out my problematic faves and I don’t think those male authors realize how much it totally takes me out of the story for a moment when they commit these errors. It does nothing useful for the plot and is annoying for half of the audience
Is it weird that I’m female and wasn’t aware of a solid third of these?
I mean, all writes take note. I basically live in man land when it comes to protagonists so I don’t know half these things despite being a woman
(Most) Women do not look at themselves in the mirror and compare their breasts to fruit. Any sort of fruit. Especially melons. Please save us from the melons.
Also we are not aware of our breasts at all times. I do not walk down a flight of stairs and think “oh golly my breasts are bouncing so much right now”. They are as much as natural part of our bodies as arms. Do you constantly think about how your arms are moving? Sure you may be aware of them, but paying full attention? Doubtful.
Also: women working out are almost never sexy. They’re not glowing or glistening or (kill me) *sparkling*. They are red and sweaty and gross just like all the dudebros doing their time with the dumbbells. Stop ogling fictional women at the gym, TOM WOLFE.
I love this post.
I never understood why men feel the need to address all this telltale “feminine” awareness when writing women. Like once in grad school one of my male colleagues wrote from a female character’s POV and was like sure to notice how her feet felt in high heels and all the women’s lifestyle magazines on the coffee table and also that like, her breasts were “heavy” or some shit. I write male characters all the time. Not once have I ever stopped to make sure they notice the weight of their own balls or been hyper aware of their chest hair or some bullshit like that. ????? why????????
Love this. I’ve been cackling to myself for good 20 mins reading all the comments as well but the last reblog had me dying like can you imagine!!
“Chad was late. He had an important meeting to get to and was mad at himself for oversleeping.
He quickly washed and brushed his teeth and then ran downstairs, his balls bouncing playfully in his pants.
Do I have time to make a coffee? he thought. He decided he did so went into the kitchen and switched the kettle on. As he was waiting, he noticed his thick, curly chest hair was poking through the button gaps of his shirt. He giggled to himself and tucked his manly fuzz back in, hoping it wouldn’t happen during the meeting.”
Men, do you see how jarring and stupid this is!?
Tragedy alignment chart. Feel free to use, but please reblog if you do.
And of course the second part of the tragedy, which is: which quadrant did you think you were in vs. which one you were really in
Sorry if it’s a little cramped- had to make this all fit in ten photos. Hope you guys like it….. and again…. sorry Andrew
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The window visual did me in I’m wheezing
I haven’t seen this in years and yet it is burned into my memory forever.
This is on the short list of Eternal Reblog because it’s fucking legendary.
An honourable candidate for the @hellsite-hall-of-fame
Every time I see the start of this on my dash I’m like “fuck yeah time to laugh until I can’t breathe again”
With impeccable timing, my yarn delivery arrived just after I finished my powerful new slug daughter
Do you love the colour of the yarn? But more importantly do you see my vision...
I want to make some more horns, but I have a lot more colours to choose from now!
Are there any flags people are particularly excited to see?
Aromantic
Aroace
Transgender
Genderqueer
Agender
Rainbow
Lesbian
Bisexual
Pansexual
Non-binary
More asexual horns, with the colours in different places
I will suggest another flag/colour scheme in the tags!
I try not to fall into the "I never liked their work anyway" ditch when an artist/creator reveals themself to be a terrible person
BUT
a feeling I do have and will stand by is "While I enjoyed their work overall I did have some gripes that I overlooked out of affection and whimsy, but now that my loyalty is gone and my affection tainted there is nothing holding me back from enumerating my many grievances, to which the revelations of the creator's shittiness may or may not provide a new and infuriating context."
#such a good summation of this actually#because yeah there’s usually things that were always present#but which were easy to overlook or give the benefit of the doubt#that suddenly become relevant after a revelation about the creator#and it’s really not the same thing as the self-defensive “’I never liked it anyway’
tags via chimaerakitten
A lot of propaganda is not actually misinformation.
A lot of propaganda is not even half-truths.
A lot of propaganda actually is telling you the truth, but is feeding you a specific conclusion that the author wants you to draw from it.
This makes it a lot more robust, because if you go searching for sources to confirm the information, you'll find them!
So an important thing in evaluating information is not just "Is this true?" but also:
"Wait, does this lead inevitably to the conclusion this person is presenting? What other conclusions could I draw here? What other reasons for this piece of info could there be? How does this information fit into what I already know?"
"What are the motivations of the person who wrote or created this? Why did they want me to draw that conclusion? Do they themselves believe the conclusion they're drawing, or are they just trying to convince me? If they do believe it themself, why? If not, why are they trying to convince me? What's going on for them here?"
"What other pieces of information might I be missing? What am I extrapolating without noticing? What did this person deliberately leave out, or want me to ignore or gloss over? What other contexts and comparisons are applicable here?"
"How does this information with in with not only the specific conclusion that is presented, but with the author's overarching thesis? When I use it, how well does it fit into my thesis? When I take a step back, does this piece of information actually make any sense as supporting evidence for this person's thesis?"
Hopefully this is helpful, and can help your skills at evaluating information and arguments become more robust!
Is this happening for the reasons being focused on?
Are people bringing up demographic details to get you to associate an unrelated group with the situation being discussed?
Would the solution being talked about actually prevent this from happening again?
Did the person presenting this information already want to put that solution in place before the situation being discussed? Are their new arguments consistent with the ones given before this?
These are more specifically for how tragedies can get hijacked.
Is there a "but" used when an "and" would suffice?
Are two people's traits being described in a way that implies those traits are at odds with one another, or that one "counterbalances" the other?
Are two numbers or statistics being cited together as if to imply a link between them, when there may be no such link?
A lot of people know (or know to say) "Correlation is not causation," but also, two sets of numbers aren't even necessarily correlation. Not enough people know about the "Muhammad Wang fallacy" -- if Muhammad is the most common given name in the world, and Wang is the most common surname in the world, you might expect Muhammad Wang to be a very common full name, but it's actually quite rare (shout-out to those real-life Muhammad Wangs, though!). Just because two traits or phenomena are both common doesn't mean that they commonly occur together, let alone that one causes the other.
One thing that worries me about the use of AI is whether or not it can worsen people's dementia and alzheimer's in the future. When my grandmother was first diagnosed, we got her math activity books. Now, my grandmother never had a formal education, but we did our best to keep her sharp, get her to do math and writing activity books, sudokus, playing board games that required some level of strategizing with her. Her family is prone to alzheimer's and dementia (both her siblings had it and deteriorated very very very quickly, which yeah, scares the shit out of me being her granddaughter) but she was the one whose mind lasted the longest, she only passed away two years ago, at 88, ten whole years after her initial diagnosis and sure, she had forgotten things, recipes and where she put her glasses and appointments, but she never forgot any of us, ten whole years in, she still remembered us. Now, this may have been luck, but doctors always said the constant mental work + companionship + medicine helped her a lot. So I'm thinking, these people who are now relying on AI for everything, from email-writing to thinking what's for dinner to casual conversations, I've even seen people rely on it to calculate what time they should leave their house if they need to be at a place at a specific time and their commute lasts X number of minutes. As if that's not... the simplest math operation possible? You shouldn't even need a calculator for that!!! Idk I don't know how long it'll take us to see the effects of this + exposure to brain-rotting short form content that is completely meaningless + people addicted to right-wing conspiracy style media. Idk I'm very worried. Please, read, read complicated books! Take up a book on philosophy and try to decipher it and make your own opinions on it, please buy a maths activity book and relearn how to do math, please get a hobby that involves lots of thinking and concentrating. PLEASE!!!
As a neurologist, I’ll give you the pretty name for it: cognitive reserve.
The way I explain it to my patients is that our neurons don’t regenerate. They make connections with each other and that’s it. If you don’t use your brain, they make fewer connections and, if one of them dies, you’re gonna miss it, because that was the only one that knew how to do X. Now, if each one of them has many, many connections, you won’t notice the difference when one of them dies. The others pick up the slack.
As of 2024, 45% of dementia risk factors are modifiable. Relevant to this conversation, 5% for less education and 5% for social isolation.
We absolutely are going to see the reflection of this, but it’s gonna take decades and it’ll be too late. So, for the love of your brain, pretend that it’s a muscle and make it work. People complain about “when am I ever gonna use this maths formula in my life?” You’re not. You’re teaching your brain to think logically. Those sinapses will be there for when you need to figure out your week’s schedule. English classes taught me how to interpret data and how to convey it in this text so it’s clear and you understand what I’m saying, not because I needed to justify why the curtain is blue.
Make your brain know how to do different things. Logic games, puzzles, taking care of a garden even if small, planning a church’s event or birthday, learn a new instrument, learn a few words in another language, look at a calendar every day, do some manual labor if possible. Do not, I repeat, do not let your brain get rid of sinapses by letting AI do everything. Your brain uses 20% of your body’s energy — do you really think it’s going to maintain connexions that aren’t in use?
Most cases of Alzheimer’s are sporadic, meaning no family history. Family history of a first-degree relative with Alzheimer’s starting before they were 80yo increases your risk in 2-3x on average.
TLDR: Yes. From the knowledge we have today, AI will increase the number and severity of dementia cases.
The eco fash and eugenicist leftists (yes, whether you admit it or not, you exist) aren't going to like this but I rank the invention of plastic as one of the top 5 best inventions to ever happen to medicine, along with soap, insulin, vaccines, and rehydration salt fluids
Absolutely! People who want to eliminate plastic production in its entirety ignore how it is used in *countless* ways medically. You know how surgical instruments stay sterile? Plastic packaging to keep them that way. How subdermal implants can be lightweight and comfortable as the body moves (to the point of being unnoticeable) and still disperse the medication for even years before needing to be changed out? Plastic bodies! Do you know what many modern stitches are? Plastic! Bc it has the ability to be fully sterilized and stretchable enough to move without snapping or tearing the skin while keeping the wound closed and in a position to heal.
If you wanna go after plastic: go after the consumer culture that puts ridiculous amounts of kids toys in dumps and clothes made by fast fashion. But this is a strong case of the ironic "all generalizations are bad" truism. I am all for reducing plastic waste and it's damage on the environment, but don't even *look* at the medical industry, let alone blame it until youve "solved" about ten other industries, cos this one improves and saves lives.
I'm on record as a plastic-hater but ALWAYS with the caveat that it's important for medicine
really I think it's gone way too far in all other areas like clothing, but obviously medicine is a whole other ballpark (hell, even in my own life- I wear contact lenses, which were theorized before the invention of plastics but never practical, and my glasses would have broken so many times over the years if the lenses were still actual glass)
someday hopefully medical plastic will be made from not-oil, but please understand that my criticism of plastic NEVER includes the medical field
Plastic is a wonderful, life-saving family of materials with unique properties that allow them to do things that no other known materials can, that unfortunately just happens to be dangerously overused right now for the sake of being cheap.
Younger people, one thing I want you to understand about Millenials is that, overall, our parents taught their daughters to aim for careers and employment, but they didn't teach their sons to keep house. This causes a whole lot of Situations.
My brothers are my half-brothers; they spent summers and some holidays with us. I love my brothers.
Their mother picked up after them. They were not required to take plates the kitchen or do the dishes or anything like that.
My mother, who would tell you she is for equality, came home one day, sighed at the mess of dirty dishes scattered about, and said, "Gayle, help me pick up."
"Those aren't my dishes," I said. "I picked up my dishes."
My mother sighed again. "Just help me pick up."
"No," I said again. "I didn't make that fucking mess."
She never approached my brothers and said, "Boys, in this house, you take your dishes to the kitchen." She did not tell our dad, "Hey, tell the boys they need to pick up after themselves."
It was, "Gayle, pick up the dishes."
And when I refused because it was not my fucking mess, I got lectured about being difficult.
See also: My brothers--in a classic dick-move of all siblings--figured out they could pop the lock on the bathroom door and throw it open, and I would freak out because I was in the shower and trying to get five fucking minutes of peace.
Guess who got yelled at for being "unreasonable"? Not the boys. Because a lot of moms of millennial boys still said shit like "boys will be boys" when they should have said "Boys, if you got body-slammed on the concrete, I'm not taking you to the hospital."
It was similar for Xers. I spent a lot of time in my 20's teaching romantic partners and friends basic household skills and having to be really hard ass about them carrying their weight.
It is stupid and infuriating and I hate that the "Boy Mom" trend is setting yet another generation up for unfairness and domestic strife.
Yep.
One time when I was in high school, my mum came home w/ groceries. She needed help bringing all of them in. Did she ask my brother who was already outside playing basketball? No. Did she ask her husband who was sitting on his ass watching TV in the living room? Nope. She walked past both of them, through the house, and into my room where I was doing homework and yelled at me for not immediately coming out to help her.
I have been told that I am "the last of the millennials" or that I'm a "gen zer" or that I'm "on the cusp" by so many different people that I am 100% convinced this is not a generational problem. It is a societal problem. And millennial parents are not immune to raising their kids this way just bc they're younger than x'ers and boomers. Same goes for gen z'ers and every generation after us so long as misogyny remains the bedrock of society that it is.
gay throw blanket finished during pride month :) the gradient yarn is SOOOOO so so cool. but also very very small so this thing took a While
pattern by johanna lindahl / mijo crochet on etsy!!!
There’s an episode of Sesame Street (on Netflix! you can watch it easily!) where Elmo attends a toy-swap, where you offer up old toys you don’t play with anymore and receive someone else’s toys that are new to you. Cute!
But Elmo, after cheerfully surrendering his old toys, sees that the children who swapped toys with him are playing with his toys “wrong”! They’re imagining entirely different make believe scenarios! They’re pretending the football is a dinosaur egg instead of a rocket ship! Aaahhhhh!!!! And this is so distressing to poor Elmo that he does the unthinkable: He does swapsies-backsies and takes all his toys back!
This being Sesame Street, he learns that you can’t control how other people play pretend, but you can join in if you want to! And if you don’t want to, that’s ok, you can just play pretend your own way by yourself or with someone else who wants to play that way too. You can still be friends with people who play pretend differently than you (and aren’t being mean/harmful/etc, do not bad-faith-read this 🤨).
Anyway this is a post about fandom.
"Why would this character be jealous of their friend's romantic relationships? Clearly they're in love with them" I don't know if you guys have ever Had Friends but it's actually pretty common for people to feel jealous if their best friend suddenly has less time for them and is prioritising someone they just met over them. That's not inherently romantic, that's the general human desire to be valued by the people you value.
My Very Little Sister had to move out of 3 living situations because her friends/cousins found romantic partners and didn't need a roommate anymore. She started getting really grouchy whenever a friend mentioned romance after a while.
My cousin lost his best friend of 20+ years because the friend's girlfriend decided he shouldn't see anyone else. For years my cousin was leery about anyone else starting romantic relationships, and acted kinda jealous and resentful.
I had to make clear boundaries with my now-husband, explaining that I was NOT going to be investing all of my limited emotional energy into our relationship, he had to be willing to share. And my emotional energy is VERY limited, so he struggled! If I hadn't been so very very aromantic, and had spent as much time with him as he wanted, my other relationships would have suffered greatly. As it was, people had to get used to a changed dynamic with me - he came everywhere, because it was easier to get out of the house when he was dragging me.
People in platonic relationships have very real reasons to be jealous!
This is too cute 😍😍😍, A-Yuan is the best wingman here 💕
I miss KAK posts 🥺
someone from 1997 wished me good luck. it’s like someone from so many years back knows your struggles and i just, i think i’m gonna cry
reblogging for luck from friend in 1997