Kittyknowsthings @kittyknowsthings - Tumblr Blog

One of those fandom things that I love is when there’s new characters around and, with the unwavering confidence of an old farmer appraising cattle, fanfic authors take one good look at them, tilt their imaginary hat, and go “Aye. Praise kink, that one. Mighty case of praise kink if I ever saw one.” And everyone else just “aye.”

inimitably-ineffable

Not to mention the plot tropes.

“I don’t think the Highschool AU is going to come in too strong this year. Fandoms a touch jaded for that. But the hurt/comfort is growin’ thick as weeds and twice as fast. It’ll be a good harvest, fer sure.”

mx-incognito

@cynaram

cynaram

“I hear over at [neighbouring fandom] they’re putting the top field into fix-it fics.”

“Yes, ‘twould be. They had a hard season last year, a right hard season.”

explorerrowan

“You think I ought to plant a little Sailor Moon Wild West AU? Don’t know if anything would come of it. Might not make it to harvest.”

“Won’t know until you plant it, will you?”

fieldbears

“Ah, a heritage crop.”

captainclickycat

The shipping forecast.

romanticalgirl

The Fandom Almanac

nyansense-the-nyanbinary

“I think I’m going to sow some rarepairs this season. Don’t know what the market for ‘em will be, but I can eat ‘em if nobody else wants to.”

jonairadreaming

Petition to start referring to fanworks as ‘produce’ and stop calling it ‘content’.

Produce = Fresh. Tasty. Nutritious. Contains some ppm of Love.

Content = Lifeless. Sterile. An obligation.

enchi-elm

Kudos is sunlight. Comments are fertilizer.

digitaldiscipline

Disney is Monsanto

maxknightley

"it would be so good if it was good" will haunt you but "it's extremely good, except for the one or two parts which are so bad it's genuinely kind of insulting" will straight up drive you insane

maxknightley

one has you making posts like "okay but if the author UNDERSTOOD the POLITICAL IMPLICATIONS of the story they were telling, and leaned into it, it would actually be a really interesting exploration of..."

the other has you pacing your bedroom at one in the morning going "why. why would you ever in a million years do it like that. genuinely what possible thought process was involved. was the writer possessed by a fucking ghost or something."

ozempicofficial

mandywondering

I got curious, so without looking up the reddit thread because I hate reddit, I went to the list of Barbie's careers. Because of course people have dated lists of those.

Her first 28 years are fairly tame, until we reach 1987's Canadian Mountie Barbie. Reasonable odds for a cop, even if they're not a USAmerican cop.

in 1991, we get US Air Force Pilot Barbie, US Marine Corps Sergeant Barbie, US Navy Petty Officer Barbie. There's also 1992's US Army Barbie, if those guys were feeling left out. I'm also ignoring the 1989 US Army Barbie because that one is 100% a stolen valour runway look, not a uniform.

Going to run my autism over those four.

US Navy Petty Officer Barbie is wearing quartermaster's rating insignia, so no combat for her.

US Army Barbie is wearing an airborne maroon beret with no rank insignia that I could see, but she's loaded down with medical supplies, so I'm gonna say combat medic, but only as many kills as her other medical endeavours.

US Air Force Pilot Barbie is wearing a jacket that looks like a Top Gun tie-in. The unit patch is just the USAF coat of arms, and the name patch says she's a Captain. VERY confusingly, the plane on the box art is an F-5, which had just recently been retired. But its USAF usage was almost all in the OPFOR Aggressor squadrons, which is... "come play enemy planes for our training exercises".

US Marine Corps Sergeant Barbie is wearing E-5 Sergeant's insignia, and three medals (she's in dress uniform). To my eye, and allowing for badly printed colours, looks like Navy and Marine Achievement Medal, Marine Corps Good Conduct Medal, and the South West Asia Service Medal. The first two are fairly obvious "Barbie Is Well Behaved" stuff, but uh. That last one though?

USMC Barbie was in Desert Storm.

And if she was in a support role there, well, 1993 gave us USAmerican Cop Barbie. Case closed.

nerdynarratives

the-garbage-void-deactivated202

There's this weird tendency among fandom types where they'll take a character, and insist that they are fans of them, before changing their design, age, pronouns, backstory, blood type, species, hometown, favorite color, zodiac sign, medical history, and every other facet of their being.

They will then violently insist that this version is superior to the canon one and act like they "fixed" them and it's like. Buddy that's not the same character anymore. That's just your own oc commiting identity fraud. Like. I get the desire to experiment with different interpretations of a story. But first of all it's okay to just make an original character if that's what you really want to do. And second of all, are you even really a fan of the character you "fixed" if they're a completely different person afterwards?

Like. Idk dude for somebody who claims to be a fan you sure don't seem to like them as they are :/

supreme-leader-stoat

Gonna remember "buddy that's not the character that's your OC committing identity fraud."

flipocrite

ship of OCtheus

artbyblastweave

What, the forest-dwelling entities with imperfect human mimicry who insinuate themselves into groups of hikers? Yeah, we had one of those. Clocked it immediately, of course. Honestly it kind of fell in that so-inept-it's-kind-of-charming range. We just played along until it'd had it's fill of marshmallows and shambled back into the treeline. We might have been violating some kind of killjoy wildlife contact best practices but what the hell, can't plan around every little thing. Why, what happened to you guys

eikotheblue

these tags are gold omg

rhysintherain

It's a misconception that the mimics are hunting humans when they trail along at the back of hiking groups.

In fact, the creature you'll find suddenly walking beside you and acting as if they've always been there is almost certainly a juvenile, as the adults lose the ability when they reach reproductive age.

Recent studies suggest the forest mimic is less like a preying mantis (mimicry as a hunting strategy) and more like a cuckoo (mimicry as a protective strategy for their young). Adult forest mimics will leave their offspring near a group of hikers while they forage during the day, and retrieve them near trailheads in the evening. Groups of hikers provide safety from predators and allow the parents of the species the freedom to forage more widely.

For this reason, the traditional advice to never let a mimic into your vehicle is still very important, as this would separate the young mimic from its mother. If a juvenile forest mimic does follow your group to the parking lot, you can keep it entertained with trail snacks, dad jokes, and simple goofs. The mother will usually collect them shortly before sunset.

When you notice the woods around the trailhead go silent and feel a sense of nameless foreboding, find an excuse to avert your attention from the juvenile so it can sneak back into the forest to rejoin its mother, convinced it's fooled another party of unsuspecting humans.

fandomcompass

surprisingly wholesome takes from the cryptid community here

doggeddetermination

@monstrousproductions

chaoticgouda

In AWE at the sheer big dick energy this royal mistress exuded

romanceyourdemons

shakespeare was so funny for that scene where the antagonist tells the protagonist “let the record show that i AM into women THAT BEING SAID holy shit, thou mars, seeing you here is like an even better version of my wedding night. like WAY better. i’ve been dreaming about you every night for years, and in my dreams we take off each other’s armor and beat each other to a pulp and i wake up all hot and sticky 👍”

romanceyourdemons

coriolanus 4.5.126-131, 135-139 be upon ye

herpsandbirds

puppygirllaika

"Government should be run like a business"

okay, the data bears out that public investment in health, education, public commons, and infrastructure has a massive return on investment for both the economy and the nation as a whole, so we should be investing as much as we can afford into public institutions.

"no no, like a business. We should spend no money except on security and collect as little money as possible. like a business. also we should avoid importing or exporting any goods, to save money on all the money we'll lose out on. like a business."

synthgirlbulge

Running the government like a business just means that they "care about the customers" aka the people that give them money. And if youre not rich enough to give these people cash you dont get anything

Weve seen this over and over and over with everyone that uses this phrase.

iamrockqueen

zawmbikilla

every time i see this image it makes me happy

emo-oreos

or this one

sunderwight

"humans are space orcs" this and "humans are the jack-of-all-trades race" that and "humans are the ones with a reputation for trying to fuck everything" and etc but you know what I don't see too often?

humans are the moms

compared to other species on earth, humans have a really outsized "protect baby" instinct. you give a human a thing and tell them it's actually a baby thing and many humans will suddenly develop a complete and total aversion to harming it, even if it's like, a writhing mass of slimy tentacles in no way reminiscent of human infants

cats domesticated us by figuring out that they could leave their kittens with us when they went out hunting and come back and probably still have the same number as before they left. there is a decent chance that wolves did the same thing

word gets around the less parenting-inclined species and they're just like, are you doing a long haul space voyage? going to have to lay some eggs in the course of the trip? take a few humans with you. yeah they'll just start training the young and keeping from them climbing into the machinery themselves you don't even have to find specialists. I know a guy who budded unexpectedly on a freight hauler halfway through a four year trip, and not only did the humans not eat his spawn, they set up this thing called "babysitting" where they'd take turns monitoring its survival and helping to teach it basic skills

hazard is that if you're going anywhere with xenofauna, you have higher than normal odds of the humans trying to smuggle some weird creature aboard ship, though. you gotta watch 'em. on their own homeworld their officials have to put up goddamn signs telling them not to feed dangerous wildlife or try to touch the babies. most of 'em do understand the regulations and about potential bio hazards but there always seems to be at least one that loses their goddamn minds because some avian chick got caught in a mudslide or something

marlynnofmany

"You've got to be exaggerating. Why would they be like that?"

"Easy. You know how most civilized species lay eggs, and even the ones that don't will have young ones able to move around and fend for themselves within the day?"

"Yeah, obviously."

"Human newborns can't even lift their own heads. They require the full-time attention of as many adults as possible to make sure they survive to a self-sufficient age, much less adulthood."

"Whaaaaat. How long does that take?"

"Many years. And their planet has long years."

"What!"

"Yes. So their parenting instincts are overclocked for a reason. And sometimes that spills over onto other species. ...And by 'sometimes,' I mean all the dang time."

"Uh huh."

"So keep them away from the dangerous fauna, especially the little ones, and be prepared for them to get emotionally attached to the occasional inanimate object. Oh! And if you need to get their attention in a loud room, play a recording of one of their young making a distress sound. They hate that, and will want it to stop immediately."

"I am taking notes."

wispstalk

if ur gonna be pressed into service by your liege lord, u want to be the swiftest rider. get good at horses, because they're always sending the swiftest rider off to do some other shit that is, crucially, away from the battlefield. I'm telling u. when ur forces are outnumbered and the enemy legions show up with some unexpected advantage, someone in command is gonna say, "send the swiftest rider to alert the queen!!!" that's u. u want to be that guy

adz

reddit is having a glitch where it puts the wrong captions over photos and it’s the only thing i care about right now

dietspam16

stevviefox

Glitch or not, pure gold!

🤣🤣🤣

sprinkledsalt

It drives me insane that you still regularly get articles treating Elon Musk like a serious thinker and someone whose takes on anything at all should be listened to when he, as the richest man in the world, has murdered hundreds of thousands of the poorest people in the world thus far by killing USAID. The richest man in the world starving the poorest children in the world to death is so evil it feels like a bad movie script, but no one cares. It’s not even in the average person’s mind when you bring up his name, in part because the media just shrugged and will only occasionally mention it as like, one line in an article about him as a mere afterthought.

Musk has done other terrible things, too, but god, this one has a high and increasing body count. It should define his legacy. Every article about his wealth should mention how he not only refuses to use any of it to help people, but he actively cut money that wasn’t even his from providing food and medicine to the poor. But nope. No one cares.

weirdreindeer

lydiardbell

robbie-is-a-bug

“Are you saying that Jesus isn’t fully man” he’s literally not. He’s half deity. Why did you word it like that?

creature-wizard

“Jesus was fully human and fully divine” is conventionally accepted doctrine. It’s called the hypostatic union. It’s in the Athanasian creed.

mcgravin

Sounds like wormnoodless is recapitulating Eutychianism (Christ exists in one nature and of two), which was rejected by the Fourth Ecumenical Council in 451, instead adopting Dyophysitism (Jesus Christ is one person of one substance and one hypostasis, with two distinct, inseparable natures: divine and human), which is still the main belief of most major denominations.

Sorry, wormnoodless, you’re a heretic.

@apocrypals, do I have it (mostly) right?

apocrypals

Correct

Anything other than “fully God, fully man” is heretical

squidspawn

#sometimes the nature of tumblr is that someone accidentally reinvents the great schism (1054) all over again

alarajrogers

It’s so funny that I’m not Catholic anymore and I don’t believe in the Christian God (in fact I actively believe the Christian God is impossible; I call myself an agnostic who actively disbelieves in the Christian God), but when people spout heresies involving Jesus Christ, I get all like I do with my blorbos and I’m like “That’s not canon!” (which is literally true in this case).

Though half-God, half-Man doesn’t bother me nearly as much as “Jesus is just a little video game avatar God is piloting around.” The Son did not create the world, that was the Father. They are Three-In-One but also distinct entities, and behaving as if the Father, who is kind of an asshole, is identical to the Son, who… okay, can be an asshole sometimes (ask the fig tree) but is overall about forgiveness and don’t sweat the letter of the law if you can keep to its spirit, are the same being… I mean, Anne Rice pointed out that Jesus’ sacrifice is totally meaningless if he’s literally the same being as God. That makes his life on Earth like a video game he was playing, not an actual life.

Also, utterly despise the Prosperity Gospel. This is like making Magneto a mutant-hater. It is literally the opposite of the entire point of Jesus’ life and mission.

Yeah. I’m not a believer, but I will go on at length about why Magneto or Q were out of character in such and such a fanfic, and I will do the same thing for statements about Jesus. He’s not really my blorbo anymore because I hate the fandom, but man, I wish I could find some good fanfics about him that don’t fuck up the character.