NASA lapel pin.

Andulka
Not today Justin
KIROKAZE

#extradirty
Today's Document
Mike Driver
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Sade Olutola

titsay
ojovivo

PR's Tumblrdome

JVL
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

shark vs the universe

bliss lane

Love Begins
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
Noah Kahan
Claire Keane
taylor price

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@quadradaz
NASA lapel pin.
You’re a daycare worker, watching over toddlers, when the imminent end of the world is announced. It becomes increasingly clear none of the kids’ parents are going to show up as the end inches nearer.
[Audio starts]
“Mom has been texting me for the last twenty minutes. She wants me to come home. It’s a four hour drive, when the roads are clear, and from what I hear everybody is trying to get somewhere right now. There’s no telling if I’d even-”
“Everybody else has left. All the other kids were picked up, the other staff left. They gave me all the keys. I promised to stay and wait for as long as- well. Even if some of the parents show up, I guess some of them won’t, so I’m just waiting. Until.”
[Clears throat.]
“A couple of people came after everybody left. Peter, one of Aidan’s fathers, gave me three hundred dollars for staying. What am I going to do with money? It’s- anyway. I kind of get it. He wanted to give me something.”
[Audio ends]
[Audio starts]
“They’re all between 2 and 4.” Sniff. “They’re so little. Too little to really- maybe if they were older, I’d have to tell them something. But um. I’m just- trying to stay calm and keep them happy and occupied. I think that’s the best thing, right now.”
[Heaving breaths.]
“I normally use this recorder to help me remember stuff. It’s just, uh, habit to talk to it. I don’t know. They’re napping, right now. I’ve got the baby monitor, they know that if they talk into it, I’ll come, so-”
[Sobbing.]
[Audio ends]
[Audio starts]
“Mom keeps texting, so I blocked her. I sent her a text telling her goodbye, first, but. I do. But these kids need me.”
[Sniff.]
“I tried calling their parents again, but I can’t get anybody. It’s just busy signals. I called the firefighter station, 911. I can’t get through to anybody.”
[Shaky breath.]
“I went out into the yard. Um, I think they can play. It’s nice out, and you can’t really see it yet. Little bit of a glimmer, if they ask I’ll just tell them it’s a plane, but it’s nice out and we’ve got hours before-”
[Murmuring child’s voice, indistinguishable.]
[Audio ends]
Keep reading
You are given a short-lived curse in which you have a song stuck in your head for a week. On the bright side, you get to pick the song. Which do you choose?
American Pie (Don Mclean)
Bad Romance (Lady Gaga)
Cotton Eye Joe (Rednex)
Bohemian Rhapsody (Queen)
Dancing Queen (ABBA)
Happy (Pharrell Williams)
Hot n Cold (Katy Perry)
Single Ladies (Beyonce)
Take Me Home Country Roads (John Denver)
Wannabe (Spice Girls)
We Didn’t Start The Fire (Billy Joel)
9 to 5 (Dolly Parton)
Welp I guess all of these songs will be stuck in my head for the next week
A 75 yo man proudly came into the cafe wearing an Ultra Maga hat. I excused my barista from the register to handle the transaction.
"The hat is customizable," he said, struggling with the velcro patch on the front. "If I need it, I have an ICE one too. I pick based off the business i walk into."
"Customizable is an important hat descriptor," I said. "what can I get you?"
"You wouldn't believe how offended people get these days," he said. "And I'm supposed to do something about it if you're offended? You chose to be offended!"
"We all have hundreds of thousands of decisions everyday," I said. I thickened my accent. "That's what my stepdad always said. But I can make one easier - we have a delicious Ethiopian roast available."
"Like if I told you you have a bull ring," he said, "because bulls have rings in their noses. Is that offensive?"
I laughed. "I've heard that before."
"It's a joke, but people get offended. Maybe you're offended."
I looked at him. I smiled. "You aren't trying to offend me though, right?"
Of course he was. I was being friendly and the friendlier I was, the faster he switched topics. He was saying anything inflammatory he could think of to see if I'd take the bait. After about 20 minutes of my redirecting and deescalating, he settled into a more normal interaction. He took up too much of my time showing me a product I'd feigned mild interest in to get him to stop talking about getting accused of inappropriate behavior at work. When we finally disengaged, he spent 10 minutes trying to catch my eye again. When he failed, he left.
There's this new breed of customer who insists on trying to incite political conversation through their clothing and, when that doesnt work, their snide little comments. If I owned my own business, maybe I would have given the guy the fight he wanted. But I work for a corporation and I love paying my bills so I deescalated.
Anyone wearing that type of shit and preying on workers for their own spank bank material is a brainless fucking sheep.
its really darkly funny that so many public figures keep dying "of cardiac complications after a brief illness" like wow y'all are Never ever going to say the word COVID huh.
NOT THE CRABS WE EXPECTED BUT STILL SOME CRABS WE DESERVE!!!
what annoys me about explaining evolution to people who don’t think it’s real is that everyone’s idea of how it works seems to be from this
Whereas the reality is far more like
Was not expecting this many of you to resonate with Millennium Death Plinko
One of these days the horse is gonna come out of pinko with opposable thumbs, and then we're all in trouble.
why does oscar wilde take 150 pages to write something he could literally say in a paragraph
compelling argument
what does this say about victor hugo
no he was just french
R.R Tolkien?
autistic infodumping
Put this together and I dread to think how long a novel by an autistic gay Frenchman would be. :p
Remember, history was awful. Never trust the romantics.
#you want to know a sentence that rewrote my brain:#most people have never been 20#more than half of humans ever born never made it to 20#which. is so crushingly sad to me i can't think about it for too long and also weirdly tempering when i'm angry at the state of the world#most people have never been 20! is it any wonder we're bad at being people sometimes! it's so new. we're young to it#anyway#i'm so stupidly grateful to live in the present and for modern medical technology (tags via @thoughtsformtheuniverse)
XKCD: Degree Off
Never Forget what Childhood Vaccines and Antibiotics have done.
The two most powerful words in the English language, owed entirely to the efficacy of vaccines, are thus;
“Smallpox was.”
For most of history, smallpox was (!!!) the scourge that haunted human civilisations. We have evidence of smallpox from mummies c. 1350BCE in Egypt. It’s speculated to be one of causative agents of the Plague of Athens c. 430BCE. There were outbreaks of smallpox in Angola in 1484, in South Africa in 1731 that wiped out entire clans of Khoisan people. There was at least one major smallpox epidemic almost every decade across Europe.
Smallpox was transmitted by droplet/aerosol infection; it tore through even the smallest population centres. Typical smallpox incurred a blistering fever, raised pustules, debilitating joint and back pain; if you lived — and that was a fat fucking if, as typical smallpox had a mortality rate of 30% — you’d have tell-tale pockmark scarring, and face stigma for the rest of your life. Some were left blinded.
The worst form of the disease was haemorrhagic smallpox; all the agony of typical smallpox, with the addition of skin haemorrhage and pinpoint haemorrhage in the spleen, liver, kidneys and gonads. Near-universally fatal, haemorrhagic smallpox made up 5-10% of all cases. Of this number, 72% were children.
The global smallpox vaccination campaigns of 1958 to 1977 were a monumental effort by the World Health Organization and its global associates, backed by incredibly diligent public health work and epidemiological monitoring.
Wherever there were outbreaks, there was herd immunisation. Health bodies campaigned tirelessly for the general population to be immunised. In the ‘70s, a concerted effort was made by the WHO to ensure vaccines were administered in the most remote and vulnerable communities in the Horn of Africa, South Asia and the Pacific.
In 1980, the world was officially, finally free of one of it’s oldest adversaries; universal vaccination had been achieved, and there was no population that could act as a reservoir for smallpox.
If mankind has only one great achievement, it’s the smallpox vaccine; to date, smallpox is the only human disease to be completely eradicated.
After over two millennia of suffering, mass disability and death, humanity finally had the means to give one of it’s biggest threats the biggest possible fuck you, and through scientific and public health collaboration, careful epidemiological monitoring and countless hours of on-the-ground vaccination efforts, managed to blot it from existence entirely.
Where there is vaccine coverage, childhood diseases with high morbidity and mortality rates like whooping cough, diphtheria, influenza B and have dropped.
We have vaccines for TB, another of our greatest and longest adversaries.
With enough effort to counter misinformation, more people fighting for vaccine equality, patent free medication for communicable disease, and universal vaccine coverage, and everyone making sure to keep up to date with their vaccinations, one day, we could be fortunate enough to be able to say;
“Tuberculosis was.”
“Smallpox was.”
Fuck. That hit me hard.
death and the stars
I'm quite fond of the heroes of my field have slain one of the four horsemen of the Apocalypse
A story in three parts
Question for the deals warlock - If you are attempting to avoid shaking hands on a deal and your husband grabs your face and shakes it for a deal. Does that count?
Apologies in advance for any ideas we give the deals warlock!
No that's coercion and won't stand up in a court of law 
Consent is deals.
HOUSE RULES
-Consent is deals, you can't make deals for someone by proxy unless they have specifically stated you have the power of attorney to do this
- YOU GOTTA BE PROPERLY LICENSED TO USE APPLIANCES
(Mixer is permitted at age 4, microwave is permitted at age 5, crock pot was permitted at age 3, stove top users can apply for permit with adult supervision at age 6, oven users may apply for permit at age 7. Any unlawful use of appliances with our a license is a breach of deals and will be punished to the full extent of the maw (mom law))
- The Social Contract is an unbreakable and unspoken agreed upon deal that you consent to when you exited your mother alive at birth. Mom and Dad are the keeper of the social contract for your for now, so any questions about it can be brought to their attention. The social contract also dictates that you may not be mean or cruel, you may not enact violence, you may only defend yourself and those who need defended, and you may not be smelly so you do have to take a tubby
- Three Bite Rule is Law: you must take three bites of a new food. Once to get over the fear, once to savor the flavor, and once to see if you actually like it. If after three bites you do not like it Mommy will make you a new safe meal. You may have 5 "it's too icky to do" vetos a quarter, where in you may say "it is too icky to try" and it will be accepted as an automatic pass. If you help make the meal you hereby rescind your right to the "it's too picky" clause.
- the cats are recognized sovereign citizens and I have no jurisdiction over them and neither do you
-above all else you must respect the deals, any deal made and then broken is immediately dissolved and revoked resulting in immediate natural consequences of our actions
why’re giraffes so violent
most big herbivores are, frankly. if you have a pretty steady supply of food and don’t have to worry about missing a hunt and starving to death, you can afford to throw your weight around more and generally be more aggressive!
that’s why the most dangerous big animals in the world are almost all herbivores.
this is also why walking right up to these things in Jurassic Park would have been a fantastically bad idea
Sauropods would be fucking TERRIFYING and it annoys the hell out of me that media constantly portrays them as passive and harmless. That Indominus from Jurassic World would have been SLAUGHTERED against an Apatosaurus, let alone a whole HERD of them
- @cappucino-commie
Ok but, bringing it back to sauropods, people dont really understand just HOW terrifying they were First, size. And yeah most people understand that sauropods were bit, but it really needs to be reinforced just how big they were.
This is Camarasaurus lentus, around 15 ish meters and over 16 tonnes, for reference sake, the largest african elephant bull EVER recorded was 11 tonnes. pretty decent difference right? Well, except one thing. This is a SMALL sauropod. Want to see a large one?
Yeah, you’re reading that right, 53 tonnes. Almost five times heavier than the largest recorded african elephant ever. And they get even larger.
This bastard was last estimated at 73 tonnes, the largest animal ever to walk the earth. And they didn’t just get big, they got l o n g, too
That right there, is BYU 9024, it (among with a few undescribed remains) shows an animal in the size range of 40+ meters, this one here clocks in at around 40, and the funny thing is? this is the *conservative* estimate, larger specimens are not unreasonable in the slightest. It’s not quite as heavy as the big south american bastard above it, but at 67 tonnes, its close.
Secondly, speed. We’ve all seen it, lumbering behemoths that were dumb as rocks and probably about as fast, with a tailwind, going downhill. Well…. Not really, the latest studies done as of Asier larramedi’s sauropod facts and figures book gives some… Horrifying estimates.
I’ll spare you the complete explanations, there will be a paper out soon that goes into greater depth, but I’d like to draw your attention to the speeds, specifically fo the animal called Giraffatitan. Most people are familiar with it in some way, shape or form, but to clear up what exactly Giraffatitan is.
They’re not the small ones in the foreground, they’re the big ones in the back. 33 tonnes of pure muscle, moving at 25 kp/h. Again, to provide further reference.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HUE304bqwQc THIS is how fast that is. It’s a house running at you, forget a hippo charging you, this would be a tidal wave of flesh and hatred bearing down on you.
And finally, weapons.
Like someone earlier pointed out, Apatosaurus should have absolutely trounced the indominus, because quite frankly at such a size anything you do will hurt. Kicks with the front or hind limbs will be utterly devastating to anything except another of their kind, but Apatosaurus had another thing going in its favour.
One thicc-ass neck. Pictured here with speculative keratin spikes on the bottom, whilst the spikes are speculation, the neck itself would have essentially functioned like a fleshy battering ram, capable of pulping ribcages and smashing anything that could have “preyed” upon them. But that’s not even the most terrifying thing, though this is not specific to Apatosaurus itself, but to all diplodocoids (Apatosaurus, Barosaurus, Diplodocus, etc.) Specifically, the tail.
This is Diplodocus, as you can see, this animal is half tail, as you might also be able to see, the latter half of that tail tapers down to what can, in all essence be described as- a whip. A serrated whip, powered by some of the largest muscles in the largest animals that would have walked on earth. But it gets even MORE horrifying.
You see, there have been studies that have come to a conclusion, and though there are those that have doubted them, I personally have looked at the papers and found merit to the theories.
Well, I’ll not hold you in suspense any longer.
The tips of these tails, could have, and would have broken the sound barrier. Yup, you heard that right, and as soon as that fact begins to seep in, you’ll realize the horrifying implications. A diplodocoid whipping its tail, would blow out the eardrums of any animal close by and unfortunate enough to draw its ire, the sauropod itself would possibly not come out unscathed, but when you can literally give a would-be predator internal hemmorages by, what to them would be essentially like snapping a finger, the benefits begin to outweigh the risks involved. And that’s not even mentioning what would happen if it HIT anything, an impact at such velocity, with such mass driving it would be- quite frankly? Devastating beyond words. Flesh wouldn’t just tear, it wouldn’t just break skin or bones, flesh would MELT, bones would shatter, if not simply cease to be. And this is on a sufficiently sized animal such as Allosaurus or Torvosaurus. On a human? They would be ripped in half. So yeah, Sauropods get shafted in popular media to an extent that isn’t even possible, if you think hippo’s are scary, imagine something fourty times its size, faster than you, and able to kill you without even touching you. Sauropod are kaiju, plain and simple.
The babies were really cute though. This is andrew, and he’s a baby… the size of a horse. If you want to know just how tiny they began, this is probably a good reference.
Yeah, the largest animals ever to walk the earth started out life at about the size of a dachshund. Eat your greens everyone.
I would not be surprised if, in a world where human civilization and dinosaurs lived side by side, stampeding herds of sauropods at enemy farmland and villages was a military tactic.
@khorneschosen
I love this so much and have said a lot of this previously
I honestly don’t think aggression would be the biggest threat a sauropod had for a human. I don’t think they’d register humans as a threat, if they registered them at all.
Not saying they’d be safe. But at least one turtle in the fossil timeline learned the hard way. Think about it, they’re large, and they’re not known for being brainy beasts.
just latching onto this response because “humans are too small to be a threat” is a pretty common sentiment in the notes- not necessarily!
you might not be a threat to an adult sauropod, but they may very well still decide to smear you and any other small maybe-predator in the area just in case you might get any ideas about snacking on their eggs or babies now or in the future.
more dead mesopredators = more baby sauropods that make it to the more defensible juvenile stage, it’s dinosaur math 🦕
so i hauve covid rn and i must say, American cold medicine is the absolute bees knees. You go to a UK pharmacy and they tenderly press like eight (8) paracetamol into the palm of your hand... God FORBID you're sick in France, i had to scour every pharmacy in Paris for something that wasn't HOMEOPATHIC PASTILLES. meanwhile last night i took the last of my stash of Nyquil that expired in 2019 and it was like getting hit by a fucking baseball bat (affectionate). press X to timeskip. LOVE me a cheeky little medically induced coma. you can really feel that it's a precursor to meth. i know that everything is fucking awful over there my friedns and my heart goes out to every one of you but if you need one small bright light of national pride in this time of strife please know that i envy you your cold medicine every day
i once took an american antihistamine pill just a basic one for seasonal allergies and i had to immediately lay down and while doing so i vividly hallucinated that i was a steerage passenger on the titanic resigned to my death as my cabin filled up rapidly with water. then i blacked out and when i woke up again my allergies were gone for the entire season.
The Hat Man is our greatest export
You’ve heard of the Roaring 20s........
now get ready for the Screaming 20s - coming to a decade near you in 2020
is it too early or can we start screaming now
in retrospect perhaps we should have started sooner
this post is the equivalent of a newspaper from the day of the outbreak being blown past by the wind after you wake up in a post apocalyptic world
I've slowly been chipping away at drawing scenes from that imaginary Muppet retelling of the Princess Bride, figured it was about time to share what I've drawn on Tumblr!