Do you even like thing?

This blog is entirely reblogs. If you really want inconsistent content from me, my personal blog is apparentwaifumaterial.tumblr.com

[icantspellthings]

Top 3 things people love insisting they don't have despite it being impossible

Pronouns

An accent

Bias

[7-inches-of-satanic-panic]

k but imagine Rocky wanting to learn about how humans became the apex predators of their planet so he has Grace “hunt” him in the biodome as an experiment and during it he thinks Grace isn’t trying or taking it seriously which is bad bad bad because this is for research purposes

only for Rocky to get more and more tired as the experiment goes on just to realize that Grace isn’t which makes him panic so he puts as much distance as he can between them and finds a (hopefully) safe spot to sleep and when he wakes up the human is crouching over him like “got youuu” and Rocky has never shrieked so damn loud before in his life

[vulturevanity]

hate what people did to the dead dove tag

[vulturevanity]

mothers and fuckers of the jury. "Dead dove: do not eat" is a label on a bag in the fridge. It means "the content of this bag is exactly what is labeled". It does not mean "trigger warning uhhh something". In fact, it means the exact opposite of "trigger warning uhhh something", because you use it with other tags. You write a fucked up fic with extreme violence and gore, you tag it as "extreme violence", "gore" and you tag it with "dead dove: do not eat". You write a fic with emotional abuse, gaslighting and manipulation, you tag it with "emotional abuse", "gaslighting" and "dead dove: do not eat". You write a fic with your extremely niche kink that appeals to like 3 other people and may skeeve out the rest of the fandom, you tag that with your kink and "dead dove: do not eat". It's so people know you really mean the content warnings.

It's NOT a catch-all term for "uhhh this may be fucked idk". TAG YOUR SHIT GENEROUSLY.

[april]

women are like diamonds: synthetically-produced women are not meaningfully different from naturally-formed women, and anyone trying to tell you otherwise is probably trying to justify keeping their women mines open

[gayluigi]

[anomalocaris-in-da-clurb]

Women are like diamonds since they are composed primarily of carbon.

[strongermonster]

perhaps some will disagree, but i think the world got worse when we changed the colour of the night

[strongermonster]

this is what i mean

[degenderates]

Via @bulbaderp

[itistimetodisappear]

To be clear, THIS is how nights of the future should be lit

This is bat friendly street lighting, which not only looks sick as fuck but allows bats to pass through without disturbance, as they cannot see red.

orange and especially white lights deter bats and prevent them from reaching feeding grounds at nighttime. Please if you can, write to your local council and encourage red street lights!!!!

[anarchistmemedistro]

ALSO! red light doesn’t fuck up human night vision much so you can go in and out of lit areas without readjusting

[anarchistmemedistro]

[thicque]

the red light not fucking up human night vision is also why a number of older cars had gauges that lit up red at night

[b0ggyb1tch]

i legit miss red lights in cars and appliances n stuff. red city lighting is goated

[nealashitposts]

A year or so ago I went to wood carving club with a bruised eye from my dog slamming his nose into my eyesocket and like every old lady there pulled me aside at some point to ask if my partner hit me here are some of the solutions they had in case he did.

-Replacing his vitimens with poision

- getting her brother to invite him out onto his boat and then killing him and dumping him in the ocean and saying he got drunk and fell off.

- get tboned with him in the passenger seat and then once he was in the hospital theres all kinds of easy ways to kill him like not washing my hands after a poop and then touching his wound casually.

-replacing his drink of choice with moonshine!?

- take him on a hike thats locally notorious for a rapid otter attacking hikers and once he had rabies I could just kill him any ol way and say self defense.

-One lady just cheerfully informed me she had a gun and only a few years left anyway

[janedrewfinally]

Accurate tags:

#and this is why no-fault divorce brings down the murder rate

[cleo-fox]

Writing tips:

“You feel the bulge in his pants” - implies that you are feeling some guy’s penis, may be sexy depending on context

“You feel the bugle in his pants” - implies that this guy has a military horn in his pants, invites confusing questions like why does he have that and how big are his pockets

[maple-seed]

Both options convey that he's horny

[cleo-fox]

How dare you be funnier than me on my own post

[mademoiseli]

The notes are broken. This is what tumblr is all about apparently.

[atonau]

THE NOTES ARE BROKEN!  This has been reblogged so many times, Tumblr just shrugged and said “infinity”

[disconnected-child]

I recognize that canon has made a decision, but given that it’s a stupid-ass decision, I’ve elected to ignore it and indulge myself in fanfic.

[90s-kid-sad-adult]

lie to me

[gothgfs]

national holiday

[firstgrave]

[solisaureus]

i just can’t with the “at this point everyone’s gonna have to start using AI. it’s just inevitable” crowd. like “ohh i don’t have a choice i just have to keep pressing the button that kills the planet and gives poor people cancer. it’s out of my hands. nothing else i can do” like get the fuck outta my face and grow a spine

[keferon]

A cat I met in the woods yesterday

[keferon]

[robertreich]

"Efficiency."

[redpandarascal]

in conversation about white people who go to Japan and expect their knowledge of anime to culturally carry them, I was once posed with “it’s like if there was a Japanese guy who was obsessed with spongebob and came over here and thought he could get by just communicating in spongebob quotes.” This is a false equivalence because if such a man existed we would crown him king. We’d love him. Americans would fucking love that. sometimes I get sad that this isn’t a real guy I can invite to a party.

[hong--zhi--zhu]

[frustratedasatruar]

[rainbowgod666]

Ok the last one got me laughing actually

[mockva]

Man notices an Eagle eyeing the fish he just caught

[mexicain-sans-frontiers-v2]

[the-davest-of-uncles]

*gets back to the nest* baby you are NEVER gonna believe how i got this fish

[samcormac]

what’s the rush?

[creatingblackcharacters]

Remember when Lil Nas X beautifully explored his sexuality, seduced and killed the devil to the banger of all time, and instead of cheering on this openly gay and proud Black artist for his artistry and fighting back against respectability politics, suddenly said respectability politics was all the Queerest Place on the Internet cared about? Hm. Wonder what happened there.

Anyway I miss him and hope he's doing better with his mental health 🙏🏾

[creatingblackcharacters]

Like say what you want about "bad queer representation", but this was the song that made me openly and happily accept that I was bisexual. To see him up there Black and beautiful, making music that I love, absolutely killing it? Yeah. You couldn't tell me shit. This man made me proud to be out. "This will make them think we're evil for being gay" hey newsflash dawg-