👑

[unusualperidot]

my neighboors looking out the window and they see me in my apartment talking to myself like this

[maelwife]

In the bathroom and cascada every time we touch just came on and the girl in the stall next to me was like oh my god this is my song and started peeing harder

[sonypraystation]

holy shit can we be thankful that there are only like, 2 types of phone chargers nowadays? if youre phone died in 2007 you were fuck outta luck

[robcanvas-deactivated20180718]

[sonypraystation]

this shit had to be a fuckin fire hazard or something i swear to goddd

[officialcrow]

they beat jesus with that

[kronkk]

happy good friday

[godspeedyoublackemperor]

rearranges your dna alphabetically

[thatoddtetrapod]

You’d die

[godspeedyoublackemperor]

i wouldn't. because im doing it to you

[dracosmalfovs]

once in the fifth grade this kid called me a homo and i thought it meant homeless and i was so confused i said ‘jeremy you’ve been to my house’ 

[windmil-archive]

[thebootydiaries]

hey girl u come here often? 😏 yeah? 😏 then have u seen my cat it was last seen in this area on thursday at approximately 7pm and,

[m-eowdy]

yes he tried to lick my toes

[thebootydiaries]

why u think i want him back so bad 👀👅

[hey-its-lola-cola]

[thecrayreport]

[animatedtext]

[thenatsdorf]

Black cats are lucky. (via leahweissmuller)

[immaplatypus]

MAN [IN THICK ACCENT]: Black cat bring good luck.  Not bad luck.  I have black cat - See, him face - And I am not dead today: Good luck!

[official-mugi]

“See him face”

I sure fucking do see him face

[just-things-i-enjoy]

Him face

[11thsense]

Hello, Emily. This is Adam Driver. I came across your blog in my free time today and it pained me greatly to find a post you made recently calling me ugly and, I quote, “garbage”. I began to cry, because I have anxiety about my appearance. You have truly hurt an innocent 30 or 40 year old man who wants nothing more than to act and be happy. I hope you consider your actions in the future, as I am still crying because of you. Thank you, and goodbye.

GOUSJCJ DICJ

[jonbutter]

dude so distraught he forgot his age

[misterhayden]

[seriousjones]

i saw a millennial ignore a friendly tortoise who need help crossing the street. when i confronted him, he said “who needs turtles when you have iphone apps.” reblog if you would help the friendly tortoise

[femonologue]

Where do I download the app to help this tortoise

[seriousjones]

the app is called, … going outside. thank you

[venusinhugs-deactivated20120422]

[sedatiiive]

[toastbutteregg]

[justcatposts]

It’s spider time! 

(Source)

[babyanimalgifs]

Puppy cart

(via)