The Ethics of Homonormativity and Gay Assimilation in Mainstream TV
When I was fifteen, I didn’t know any gay people. The only access I had to queerness was watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer in my parents’ basement and secretly downloading t.A.T.u music videos. Let me tell you, nobody should ever have to validate their identity by watching a t.A.T.u. music video.
But as problematic as EVERYTHING about t.A.T.u is, they were transgressive and exactly what I needed to see. They kissed girls, they knew how to operate explosives, and they drove trucks. #Lifegoals.
Queerness in the media has undergone some significant changes since I was a teenager. This is undeniable.
Now mainstream TV shows have gay characters, but they’re usually white, cis, monogamous, affluent, and male. How revolutionary! So diverse!
This is called Homonormativity. It refers to when LGBTQ folks don’t challenge the systemic oppression of marginalized groups within the queer community, such as racism, sexism, transphobia, classism, and ableism.
(A homonormative family in their natural habitat)
Homonormativity is harmful to the LGBTQ community because it allows a small percentage of privileged gay people to be accepted in heteronormative society, while reinforcing heteronormative social values and exclusion of people with intersectional identities. It is especially damaging for queer youth to see only a certain type of queer relationships.
The show can advertise to left-leaning audiences and say “look, we have gay characters, we’re open-minded and progressive” and earn themselves a gay fan base at the same time. This is garbage because it exploits queer viewers and doesn’t represent the majority of what LGBTQ families and relationships really look like.
When gay couples are assimilated and depoliticized, it contributes to the idea that the battle is won, and queer people no longer face discrimination.
This is also assumed when homophobia is shown as laughable caricatures, like an ultra-religious character ranting about homosexuals. This does not accurately portray the microaggressions and systemic violence that is part of daily life for LGBT people. As well, homonormative gay couples may depict internalized homophobia in an uncritical way, for example, with characters who avoid femininity or interactions with other queer characters.
Some examples of shows that fall into this are Modern family, The Fosters, and Glee.
Modern family has a white cis gay couple, Cam and Mitch. Cam is coded as the more effeminate partner, and many jokes are centred around him filling the “mother” role in their family, while Mitch is the “dad.” Both characters are clearly affluent, and actively police each other’s stereotypical mannerisms, so as not to appear too gay.
(Mitch and Cam from Modern Family)
The Fosters has a little more diversity, as Lena is black, but they still fall into roles set by heteronormativity. Stef is a cop, which plays into her role as the more masculine, authoritarian partner, while Lena’s character is more in touch with her feelings and is more maternal. They are also affluent enough to support multiple foster children, and their values are traditional American values.
(Stef and Lena from The Fosters)
Glee had characters with a wide range of sexual orientations and gender identities, but the writers seemed to prioritize the storylines of the white male gay characters over those of the other queer (and more marginalized) characters. One of the main differences was the coming out storylines. The white male character, Karofsky, had a sobering, shocking coming out event that reminded viewers of how seriously we should treat outing a gay person. On the other hand, Santana was forced to apologize and thank Finn when he outed her to the whole school (and all of Ohio). This alienated many queer women in the Glee fandom, myself included.
Glee also ended the series with all four of the main queer cast getting married at a very young age. This emphasized the need for queer characters to validate their relationships through heteronormative systems.
(I am a cog in the wheel of systemic oppression)
Despite the disappointing number of shows that only show homonormative couples, there are ways that writers, showrunners, and production companies can avoid falling into this trope.
We can have more queer/trans writers of colour, and make writer’s spaces more welcoming and inclusive to writers/producers who aren’t white, straight, cis, or male. We need queer storylines to come from a place of experience and understanding to have authentic, relatable stories.
The benefits of implementing these changes is that LGBTQ youth will see themselves in a more honest way on screen. We ALL need to see ourselves and our struggles shown as meaningful and important.
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