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@tiredbutkindgraywolf16
Hello All!
This is my personal blog where I post basically whatever is on my mind.
The topics mentioned here include:
NSFW posts
Reading/book reviews
Personal thoughts
LGBTQIA+ content
Various fandom posts (Arcane in particular) and more
MINORS, NON-QUEER PEOPLE, TURFS, ANYONE ANTI-LGBTQIA+, FACISTS, RACISTS, HOMOPHOBES AND TRANSPHOBES-DNI
Mutuals-Feel free to DM~❤️
Asks are Open, but I'm not afraid to block you if you cross a line.
Online lesbian spaces are the only places where I see so much identity policing. When I started to figure out my gender and sexuality, that was one of the things that probably kept me from identifying as a leabian sooner than I did (and the comphet I was dealing with). People become protective over their identities for fear of them being taken away or invalidated, but in turn, YOU are invalidating someone else's experience and identity as a result. Take the term, "futch" for example. It's a combination of the terms "femme" and "butch", right? For some, that can't work because butch and femme are sociopolitical identities within the lesbian community and while they are related to each other, you cannot combine the two. Because that would be reducing them to anesthetics like the terms "masc" and "fem" are used for. Or there's the other side that says futch is just as valid as butch and femme because there are people out there that feel parts of both identities, but don't fit completely into one or the other, so they made a term that combines the two.
I'll save my opinion for the end, but I want us all to just think about something for a second. Where else in the sexuality or gender community do we see new labels being made to better explain people's relationships to specific genders or sexualities that are already present, but aren't fully represented?...that's right, literally everywhere. New labels are made all the time and futch is not that new, really. Within tbe Transgender community specifically, there are so many different configurations of how people interact and live with their gender presentation that some labels cover and some don't; humans are unique creatures with unique experiences that sometimes can't be broken down by just one word or two or five, but if it can, wouldn't you want us to use them? Within butch and femme, gender isn't as clean cut as some would have you think. One person could be a cis gender femme that uses she/her pronouns, another could be a genderfluid butch that uses she/they/it, another could be an agender femme that uses ze/zir, or anything in between and that's not even touching on the asexuality spectrum either! So I guess what I'm trying to say is that people are complicated and multifaceted and what their gender is may not be what you want or expect, but as long as they are committing a crime, or invalidating anyone else's gender by existing, it's of no consequence to you what terms they decide to use. Butch and femme aren't going anywhere; they've been around for centuries and will continue to be here long after we're gone, so how about we stop spending our energy on policing each other and just be happy to be alive, huh?
Okay, with the third phase of the draft underway, I wanna give my two cents on this whole thing. Now, I wanna make things clear that this is MY OPINION and MY INTERPRETATION of what had transpired so far. I won't have all the information because that's not the point of me posting this. I just need a place to vent my thoughts into a void. If you don't like what you see, feel free to scroll away. Now, onto the fun stuff: as a Seattle fan, it is disheartening to see so many players leaving for the new expansion teams, but I'm sure you guys saw the same thing happen when Seattle and Vancouver joined the league last year. It's all a part of the PWHL establishing itself as a league; players will shuffle around teams all the time, it's a part of the process. However, that does not mean we are not allowed to feel our feelings about it. As fans, we get attached to these players, so when they leave for a new team, it's sad to see. Seeing strong players like Schroeder and Knight leave Seattle for Vegas and Detroit respectively is hard to swallow. I'm a goalie lover and Schroeder was such a strong goaltender for the Torrent, even with them being at the bottom of the leadsrboard. She was amazing to watch on the ice and I'm sad to see her leave. And Knight is a strong forward and always did her best for the team. She's an Olympic gold medalist for a reason. She was a strong captain and a team player. However, she does lose a bit of cred with me because she chose to leave Seattle for Detroit, knowing that Britta Curl is there. I know the players don't have many options and there are already three former Seattle players contracted there, but with Curl being an outspoken transphobe, I expect fellow members of the LGBTQIA+ like Knight to hold her accountable and not be on a team with her. I know Knight chose Detroit in order to player with her fellow Olympians and it's closer to her hometown, but still, in the world we're living in, you can't compromise on your morals anymore. People may think hockey shouldn't be "political", but the whole concept of a women's hockey league is political in itself. The fact a separate league for women/afab people has to exist is political and this league has to include their trans sisters. I guess what I'm trying to say is while I'm not mad at the players who have left for making the moves they did, I hope they understand the consequences of their choices. Us fans will remember.
Some of you may not be aware since I've never posted about it on here, but I'm also a PWHL fan, Seattle Torrent specifically. My girlfriend got me into hockey and I've started watching after the Olympics ended and now I'm hooked. So with the expansions announced and the draft under way...how are we feeling, guys?
Just an add on to my previous post: please feel free to have a discussion with me about it if you disagree. As long as you are respectful about it. I love hearing others views and opinions about the characters I love and I'm always learning new things when I do. However, if you come onto my page and start attacking me, belitting my followers, especially if you say anything about butchfemme lesbians in particular (referring to Cait and Vi or not), I will block you immediately. If you can't handle talking to someone who has a different viewpoint from yours, than you are just as clouded as Jinx is about Cait.
Okay, I've seen one too many videos on TikTok saying that Vi and Cait can't be butchfemme because they're "cops", so before I lose my fucking mind, I'm gonna explain why this is wrong and why they are actually good butchfemme representation, especially because of their connections to the Enforcers in Arcane. Let's start with Vi, she was raised in Zaun, where she was oppressed and hated the Enforcers for killing her parents and endangering her found family. So by the time she meets Caitlyn, she does not trust her one bit, unsurprisingly. However, Cait gains her trust over time by saving her life at least twice and showing her compassion and care, something Vi is not used to from anyone except her family, the strongest bonds Vi has. This is where one of the major conflicts comes in because Jinx endangers Vi and Cait's lives on multiple occasions, but Vi holds so much guilt and shame for not being there to raise her and help Jinx that she doesn't really hold it against her at first. That's still her little sister Powder...until the tea party, where she kidnapped Cait and Vi, gave Vi the ultimatum of choosing her or Caitlyn, where Vi really starts to realize that Jinx isn't the same little girl she left behind anymore.
And that is what she is facing in season 2; Vi feels responsible for Jinx's behavior and thus, must find a way to stop her, especially now that she murdered Cait's mother, but when Cait asks her to join the Enforcers to go and catch Jinx, Vi refuses. She's almost insulted by Cait asking because how could she ask Vi to join the very people who killed her parents and terrorized her city? She literally has a drunk bender over it; the only thing that makes her come around to the idea is when Maddie tells her how much Caitlyn admires and talks about her to the other Enforcers, so much so that Maddie recognizes her without Vi even having to say her name. That makes Vi pause and reconsider, not because she actually supports the Enforcers or what they stand for, but because Caitlyn believes in her so much that she tells everyone about her. So she joins her squad, with the hope of finding Jinx and stopping her once and for all because Vi thinks that's the only way out of this cycle...but then Caitlyn starts slipping. Her composure isn't so concrete, her emotions aren't always in check and when Vi sees her about to try and shoot Jinx even with an innocent child in the way, she can't stand by and let her. So she stops her and let's Jinx get away because Vi has seen too much violence involving children; too many kids shoot by Enforcers with no reason and she wasn't about to let Caitlyn become like them because she loves her. Even when Caitlyn hits her with the butt of her rifle and leaves her at the bottom of that pit, she still loves her. So much so that Vi keeps a hold of the Enforcer badge as a reminder of her. And if you really look at Vi as a character, you'll notice that she doesn't really have much allegiance to Zaun as a country, like Sevika. Vi has allegiance to her family, to her people. To Jinx, to Vander, to Clogger, to Milo, to Ekko, and now, to Caitlyn; Vi doesn't care about wars or alliances unless it affects the people she cares about most. That's why she joins the Enforcers at all; because the woman she loves is leading the squad and she believes in her more than anything.
Now for Caitlyn. She comes from a position of privilege because she lives in Piltover and comes from a wealthy family. She's never wanted for anything, ever, but she has always been a fighter for justice. That is why she joins the Enforcers in the first place, to help out the less fortunate and the only reason she thinks the Enforcers are a force for good is because of her privilege. The moment she goes to the Zaun after breaking Vi out of Stillwater and Caitlyn sees the poverty, the disease and abuse the people suffer under Piltover's rule, her tune changes. She's determined to go back, reveal the corruption and fix it from the source, all after two days in Zaun. And she does try, she pitches Vi's case to the council and tells them all she knows, not to much avail, but that is again because of her privilege. Even after revealing one system to be corrupt, she still trusts in the other systems around her to not be and fix the problem. She's never faced prejudice before, so this is all new to her and she can't understand why people would want to treat other humans so badly. The only person Cait has ever felt malice towards is Jinx after she killed Caitlyn's mother, Cassandra and that is a valid response. A lot of her motivation for her actions in Season Two can draw back to her grief of losing her mom and her anger at Jinx and subsequent desire to see her brought to justice for it. But her emotions cloud her judgements more as the season goes on, hence why she almost shots Isha, allows Ambessa to invade Zaun and trains with her, etc. However, not all of her conscience goes away. She questions Ambessa's actions multiple times, asking if the ends justify the means in terms of civilian casualties, unrest and possible revolt by Zaun. She also never stops loving Vi and when they are reunited, she quickly assists in helping her with curing Vander and stopping Ambessa's assault on tbe commune. She allows Vi to heal in her own room and doesn't kill Jinx on sight when she arrests her, only asking her to face the consequences of her actions for Vi's sake. She even tries to look for her after the last battle (without Vi's knowledge). Therefore, she doesn't truly embody all that comes with being a typical Enforcer. She stands for justice and change as much as possible, willing others to do the same.
So if you look at these two characters and think for a second that they are NOT BUTCH/FEMME, go back and watch Arcane again. Because you fucking missed the whole point.
Oh to having a pansexual girlfriend who I call my princess and only let's ME call her that and I wish I could call her my femme, but she is not, even though she acts like one in all the best ways. She wants to provide for and buy things for me, crochet things for me, gives me cuddles and kisses, compliments me and uses the right terms and pronouns, is protective of me, cares about my family and friends and just....I love her. Deeply and I will never be ashamed of that.
we need to bring back old school tumblr communication and im so serious. sending an ask to a mutual just to say hello. seeing three different asks in your inbox all asking how your dentist appointment went. seeing a post you think one of your mutuals would enjoy and tagging them/sending it to them in the dms. nowadays its just silently liking a post or (if youre feeling extreme) replying under posts. WHAT HAPPENED TO US!! we used to be a proper community!!!! #LetsBringWhimsyBack
reblog if you want ppl to send you random lil' asks
Happy Lesbian Week of Visibility!!! Let this be your sign to never dampen down your light for the sake of other people. Lesbians have been around since the time of Ancient Greece and we are not going anywhere anytime soon. Despite what anyone else may say, you are loved, you are valuable, you deserve to live and you deserve to love and be loved. Whether you are butch, femme, stud, futch, masc, stem, fem, androgynous and every other shade of the sunset flag we fly, you BELONG here and don't let anyone, including yourself, tell you any different.
It seems my recent comments about CaitVi have gotten a little attention. I've never spoken about Arcane on here before, but it's probably one of my favorite shows to date and Vi is a character I relate a lot to; as a butch lesbian as just as a person. But before I can interact with you guys in the fandom space, I'm going to let some things be known and set some boundaries, so my page can be a safe space for all Arcane fans. I'm a CaitVi shipper and they are my #1 ship, but I also ship Caitlyn and Vi with other characters within Arcane and the LOL franchise. Just because I'm a Caitlyn fan doesn't automatically make me a Jinx hater; I love Jinx as a character; she is very complex and intricate and a vital part of both Vi and Caitlyn's story arches, but she has also done a lot of horrible and immoral things as a result of the trauma she had endured. She is by no means perfect or above punishment and I will never treat her as such. The same goes for any character in Arcane. I support all ships in the Arcane fandom as long as they don't involve incest/pedophilia/abuse/neglect, etc. So JayVik, MelJay, Timebomb, Melvika and every other ship in between, you are welcome here too. However, if you cannot play nice with each orher and start to degrade, punish or bully someone because they don't like your ship or like a different ship than you, I WILL BLOCK YOU FROM MY PAGE AND THAT IS FINAL! Arcane is for everyone and I will not tolerate any sort of disrespect and bullying on my blog. Same goes for character discussions; you must be civil and kind to one another and any form of bullying or harassment will be dealt with promptly.
Now that all the rules are in place and you guys understand them, feel free to send me questions and asks about Arcane. Or ask about any other sorts of questions, I'm just a soft puppy, I promise.🐺
Thanks @callmewhenyoukan for the tag!
Rules: Answer the questions below and tag 9 homies you wanna know more!
Reading: You Weren't Meant To Be Human by Andrew Joseph White; I'm reading it with a friend of mine and it is well written, but a very heavy story, so definitely read with caution.
Last Series: For a book series, it was the fourth book in the Greer Hogan mystery series, Smoke and Mirriors by M.E. Hilliard. For a T.V. show, I'm finishing the last season of Beastars and The Pitt.
Last Movie: A rematch of Scary Movie with my girlfriend.
Last Song: I know it was off the Twilight: Eclipse soundtrack, but I can't remember what song, lol. All of them are bangers, honestly. Go listen to it.
Working On: my master's degree and myself.
Sweet Or Salty: Sweet, definitely. I'm a chocolate fiend in particular, so most things chocolate are good in my book.
Coffee or Tea: I like both. Green and chamomile tea are my favorites and with coffee, I like decaf lattes in particular.
Moots to tag!
@sunshinebutch @zazacounty @spicypossumbitch
Followed because of the CaitVi banner 🥺🥺
They are my true OTP and nobody can make me hate them, lol. Thanks for the follow! Welcome to my little leabian corner of Tumblr. There's plenty of room for you.😊
Being a butch for me isn't thick skin, broad shoulders and leather jackets. It's not all chivalry, being a provider, and serving others. For me, it also looks like being protected. Laying down my armor and snuggling close to my future partner. For me, it's feeling safe and calm, secure around someone. Being able to actually cry around you and not feel the need to hide it or dampen my feelings. Being masculine is being silly and telling you puns and jokes that aren't the most elaborate, but they always get a smile and a laugh out of you.
Being masculine is knowing when to protect and when to be protected; sometimes even when I feel like I shouldn't back down, you put a hand on my shoulder and pull me behind you because you know this isn't my fight; you can handle this one for me and I can rest, if just for this moment.
Being masculine is putting effort into spoiling my partner, whether they're femme, butch, stud, stem or anything in between. Each date may not be the most elaborate and planned out, but there will be care, love and tenderness present always. A candlelight dinner at the fanciest restaurant we know or watching our favorite movies snuggled under blankets at home or maybe going to a pumpkin patch and picking out the best pumpkins we can find and taking them home to decorate. It doesn't matter what we do as long as I get to spoil you with my love.
Being masculine to me means being soft. Being masculine to me does not equal being a man because my version looks nothing like what a man's masculinity does. It's tender; it's compassionate; it's empathetic towards my fellow lesbians and especially towards my future partner. So if my flavor of masculinity disgusts or even frightens you, good. You're exactly the kind of people who should fear me. To everyone else, I welcome with open arms to rest together in my embrace.
Yesterday was International Lesbian Day and I feel compelled to say something. As a POC, a butch lesbian and nonbinary, my existence alone is political. There are politicians, civilians, parents, and random strangers on the Internet who would rather I not exist. However, they underestimate the power of my determination to survive and live to see a better day. This isn't the first time lesbians have faced adversity and it definitely won't be the last. Elders before me fought against homophobia of a different level for me to be able to stand here and be who I am. They faced rejection, ostracization, threats, various slurs, and death. Those realities are still true for some of us now, but compared to the past, our present has much improved, but never forget: we can still slide back to those days. There is always the chance of going back to the days where it isn't federally protected to marry who you love; where you can lose your job, house, employment or even your own child based on your sexual orientation; where businesses can deny you service just because you have a spouse of the same sex/gender. So today, I will fight. Today, I will laugh. Today, I will smile, and, cry and joke, and love and cherish each day that I can be myself, publicly for others to see. I encourage all of you, my fellow lesbian brothers, sisters, and siblings in arms, to do the same, if you can.
This week, I'm on vacation and I can't help remembering why I originally took these days off...it was to see her. This woman, who still holds a place in my heart and who I think about. Who made me feel wanted, desired and cherished in a way I haven't felt before. Who I could have conversations with and talk about anything and everything; she always wanted to hear what I had to say, even if it was nonsense. She just liked hearing my voice. A woman who could make me smile just by saying my name or calling me one of many nicknames she had for me. In a short time, I was hers and she was mine, but life has a cruel way of tearing people apart who want to be together, so alas, we are separated. For now. But we made a promise to stay in touch and I intend to keep it and who knows, maybe fate will give us a second chance. Until then, here I sit and I yearn for those times we had and think about what could have been....
Imagine with me, if you will, being kissed to sleep...
You and her are in bed, night routines done; covers over your bodies and limbs entangled sweetly. You look up at her and she meets your gaze, eyes with matching loving expressions. Her hands run through your hair and down your back as your hands pull her closer by her waist. In words so soft they barely break the night, you ask, "Can I kiss you?" She's struck by your question, but smiles so softly at you and answers, "Yes, my love." You lean in slowly, capturing her lips in a soft kiss that melts your heart on contact. She returns it, still scratching your scalp and back slowly. Usually, you would pull away by now, but something in your soul tells you to stay. You don't increase the tempo, but there is a hint of neediness in your chase; your body craves the closeness and she is happy to provide. She pulls you ever closer and keeps kissing you for as long as you want.
Seconds, minutes, an hour goes by and your body goes limp against her, but your lips never falter. You can feel the exhaustion settling in, but you can't imagine stopping, even to sleep. You want this, you need this. The kisses start moving from your lips to your cheeks to your forehead to your chin and the acts of affection make you melt even more, but your lips miss her, so you pout and even whine a little, which makes her laugh. "Oh my sweet love, do you miss my lips that much that I can't even kiss the rest of you? How rude of me, let me fix that," and she goes back to kissing you and you sigh in contentment. More time passes and she can feel your body slumped over in sleep, your lips no longer reacting to hers, so she pulls back, seeing your calm, smiling face laying in her arms, completely asleep. She almost cries at how much tenderness and love crashes into her at the sight. She pulls you onto her chest, turning off the light and gently scratches your back, slowly letting the sound of your breathing lull her to sleep, thinking of more ways to spoil and take care of her precious love.
You know, one of these days, I'd make a really good house husband. Coming home from work before my spouse, changing my clothes and getting right to it. I start on dinner immediately, something I know they like and will make their day better. Maybe I put some music on low, something relaxing and soft. As the food cooks, I decide to make a dessert while I'm at it too. Something simple and delicious that'll end the day on a good note. I get into a grove, stirring and mixing, seasoning things as I go and putting everything together that I don't even hear the front door open. Next thing I know, your arms are around my waist, your lips on my neck, leaving soft kisses from my ear down to my collarbone. I sigh, leaning back into you, feeling your arms tighten and I turn my head, "Dinner is almost ready, darlin. Why don't you set the table for me?" You leave one last kiss on my lips before grabbing the plates and silverware from the cabinet. You put everything in its place while I put the finishing touches on dinner and get dessert out of the fridge. I bring everything over, with you insisting on helping me, of course. The portions are dished out and we sit down together. The conversation flows so easily, each of us recounting our days to each other in between bites, our feet entangled under the table. We eat and talk and eat some more; before we know it, we're just talking. Our bodies all close, hands intertwined and voices low. It's like every word is a secret just between us and in this moment, I kinda want it to be.
