Tithonus Rambles

A little collection of my thoughts. Thank you <3

[tithonusramble]

Welcome to Tithonusramble

My name is Tithonus and I wanted to find a space to post my writings and thoughts. I mainly write poetry and short stories but I do plan on posting mostly rambles (as my name implies) and journal entries. This is a side blog, I sometimes post to my main but this is kind of more personal and holds my heart.

Make yourself at home and enjoy. Thank you <3

Warning: There will be talk of mental illness, depression, anxiety and more. I will try and tag accordingly.

[tithonusramble]

It’s kind of incredible how ass I feel right before my period.

Like how about we make you go through all of Grief over anything and everything

Grief, grieving

giving grief to all the spaces in between my cells

It’s everywhere

A deep sadness

like what the fuck

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It hurts to hurt

but feeling

makes me remember

I’m here

I’m alive

If I hurt

I’m alive

[tithonusramble]

It’s so weird to see you again.

So weird to be talking to you,

to be near you,

to be around you,

to have you be here—where we both ended up.

Thousands of miles from where we were.

But we both ended up here.

It’s weird.

[tithonusramble]

I don’t know how to feel

About you

About us

I don’t know if I want this

There are too many feelings

About you

About us

About me

[tithonusramble]

It’s weird living so close to you, but you don’t know I’m here.

We’re thousands of miles away from where we grew up but we both picked this place.

It’s wild to me.

I heard you’re planning a wedding here too.

I feel like I should be more sad.

[tithonusramble]

I look forward to being awake when most are asleep. The early hours of the morning. It feels truly like being alone in a good way. I reveal in the aloneness.

[tithonusramble]

It feels like im failing

Though theres nothing to fail at.

Im 27 years old

But im still working minimum wage.

It’s really not my fault

The fault of the system

So why does it feel like mine.

[tithonusramble]

I’ve never felt cool in my life and it’s weird to gain that feeling. I love it but it’s strange. People think I’m cool now I guess :3

I guess real friends make you feel cool.

Cool.

[tithonusramble]

Sometimes when I’m feeling down

I think about my life

and all the changes that could’ve been made.

Would I have ended up differently

My thoughts, my likes, my friends, my name

or would I have ended up the same.

[tithonusramble]

Hello love,

It’s been a second since I’ve wrote you a letter and so much has happened.

It almost feels surreal. We finally moved in together. We have our own space and it feels amazing. We’ve fallen into place so naturally it almost feels weird how chill it is. We have beautiful communication. I feel so safe and comfortable with you. And we just get to be like this all the time now. I remember writing some poem or letter to you (that of course you haven’t seen yet at the time of me writing this) very early on, like one month in, about wanting to be with you. I remember the day we decided to be partners. We just talked about it so casually. We both wanted it to happen and it just felt so easy. I was so happy. And now we’re making it further and further. There’s too many things I want to do and it’s so endless. It feels endless with you.

An eternity with you would be a blessing, my love.

I’ll see you soon <3

[tithonusramble]

We’re moving in together! Finally it’s happening, we got approved on an apartment and in two weeks we’ll be living together.

I’m so excited to start this new chapter with you, my love.

Love,

___

[tithonusramble]

I want there to be music at my funeral that people play that reminds them of me. I want to be remembered by everyone in the music that felt like me. I have songs about that for so many people. Music can do amazing things and I really believe it’s something that is like a magic in the universe.

It would be so great to hear what everyone else hears. Some part of their brain connecting to a sound or a lyric that is reminiscent of someone they know. No connection but to someone else entirely. By sound or word. Human connection at purest form.

I’ve gone a bit away from my point but

I just want it to be known that at my funeral, the day that will celebrate me as a life on this planet, I want my beloved friends and family to share songs that harken to some part of me.

I think it would be nice, and it would definitely be a conversation starter with all those weird random inside joke songs. <3

[tithonusramble]

today is a day,

as is every day,

but today is hard especially.

im so tired,

too tired to think,

too tired to care.

i know it will be better

on another day.

but it’s today,

so i must.

[tithonusramble]

there is a definitive grief that you feel when you realize that the only family you will have is Chosen

[tithonusramble]

they are, at once, blinded by the light of a lighter; the underside of their eyelids reflecting the last image of the flame

[tithonusramble]

Pretty sure i had a unique experience the other day, picture this:

-dark bathroom

-in the bath (with hot water)

-minecraft youtube video

-cheese stick

and it was joyous