I’ve seen this idea before but I would love to get your take on the memes that would happen if Bruce Wayne and the rest of the family went on The Great British Bake Off for their charity episode. Bruce would be absolutely be James Acaster. If you have never seen it before there is a YouTube video with the best bits
first of all, they would have 100% signed alfred up to be on the Great British Bake Off and he becomes everyone’s favourite old man from episode one, especially because every story he tells just gets increasingly more disturbing?
alfred in episode one: well yes, i’m baking my grandson’s favourite cake.
alfred in episode three: this was my bosses’ favourite recipe before they were horribly murdered in front of their 8 year old son, whom they left in my care.
he’s a fan favourite and he makes it all the way to the finale where they bring in family members and friends to cheer the contestants on and people lose their fucking minds because is that the wayne family cheering for the nice old man?
alfred unfortunately doesn’t win, to the public’s outrage, but him and the rest of the wayne family are asked back for a celebrity charity edition of bake off, to compete against each other.
all of them are there, bruce, alfred, dick, jason (wearing a fake moustache, supposedly alfred’s personal assitant), tim, damian, duke, cass, and stephanie as bruce’s yet unclaimed illegitimate child.
because alfred is basically a pro baker and it would be unfair to have him participate, him and jason get a set up in the corner of the tent, loudly critiquing their family’s baking work.
they’re supposed to work in teams, but because there’s an odd number and bruce is meant to be a grown adult, he gets to be in his own team. The other teams are dick and duke, damian and stephanie, and tim and cass
the entire episode is just :
jason heckling his family members from the sidelines.
alfred sitting on a foldout camping chair with a mimosa
bruce frantically trying to figure out why everything he makes is weirdly soggy and crunchy at the same time (it’s because he left an entire egg shell in the his cake),
dick and duke trying to make a cake of themselves, that just ends up looking like two penises (”but we are called double d” “we’re on public television, dick),
damian and stephanie spending the majority of their baking time arguing about their team name and over whether they wanted to use dark chocolate or milk chocolate for the garnish,
and tim and cass convinced the other teams are spying on them and ducking below the counters to even talk to each other in sign language. (to be fair damian keeps coming over to squint at them)
at the last challenge they bring out alfred as the judge, because bruce has accidentally poisoned mary berry and alfred starts crying because most of it is just inedible