tj26k @tj26k - Tumblr Blog

tj26k

In the car riding and bouncing on it

tj26k

and by it I mean a car on a very bumpy road

venndaai

have you guys heard about the greenland shark. some crazy shit happening there.

venndaai

they are sexually mature at ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY YEARS OLD.

their (live!) young gestate for. wait for it. eight to eighteen (??) YEARS. can have up to 10 at a time. good grief.

longest lifespan of any vertebrate, up to five hundred years

toxic flesh

has giant eyes but is usually blind because of a weird little crustacean that's evolved to live on and eat their eyes. this doesn't seem to bother them much.

lives in deep cold water and has the lowest swim speed and tail-beat frequency for its size across all fish species. just generally lives life in extreme slow motion

largest genome of any shark

eats everything including moose and polar bears

ma'am you are delightfully strange and I'm privileged to share a planet with you

fluorescentbrains

this post prompted me to refresh my memory on Greenland Shark Facts and this detail about how they feed goes so hard

just vacuuming up their unsuspecting prey. whole !

muffinlance

Good news good news good news! Recent research suggests the eye parasites do NOT blind them!

Dorota Skowronska-Krawczyk sits in her office, eyes fixed on the computer monitor in front of her. "You see it move its eye," says the UC Ir

I <3 you a normal amount Greenland sharks

johannestevans

Always really funny when you're sat up with the cat in your lap and you start making motions toward getting up, and the cat is Aware but is pretending Not to be Aware and also not making eye contact with you in the hopes that you will in fact NOT get up, bc the cat is comfortable

I'm so glad the process of domestication involves a lot of co-evolution of certain social signals bc. Its really fucking funny

Like i don't need my cat to be able to speak english. The fact that she is avoiding eye contact and feigning a lack of knowledge of my behaviours is way funnier

argentsunshine

still thinking about the time my bf asked about favourite dinosaurs and my brother said quetzalcoatlus (pterosaur (not a dinosaur)) and my bf said dimetrodon ((synapsid (stem mammal) (went extinct 50 million years before dinosaurs evolved)) and i said crows (bird (dinosaur)) and yet i was judged to be the incorrect one in this scenario

stellernorth

haiku of despair

patrothestupid

On monday it will be, once again, pride month. And you know what that means? Exactly! It's time to weave you back into the wicker basket.

weave me

gauntletqueen

what if you wore a shirt that featured a picture of you trying to claw your way out of the shirt with a horrid desperate expression and the text "THAT'S NOT ME THAT'S NOT ME I'M TRAPPED IN THE SHIRT"

sammiesbo

a few weeks ago i remembered this post and the fact that i had a "free custom tshirt" coupon at the same time. anyway this just arrived in the mail

thank you so much for the idea i love my new tshirt

gauntletqueen

OHMYGOD THAT'S AWESOME THANK YOU FOR SHARING

letsbelonelytogetherr

catchymemes

somethingusefulfromflorida

Don't break his heart, but do eat his head

mevil

YUP

:/ good job me.

So I had a job interview today and there was a dude in the waiting room who was chatting up every AFAB person in the waiting room whether they responded or not, and kept going “Hey I’m real good at Origami Swans you want one?” and then writing his number on sticky notes before making paper cranes and handing them to his latest target before turning his attention to the next lady in his vicinity. A little sad, a lot annoying, but unlikely to be dangerous. Whatever.

Dude gets to me. We have half a conversation where he asks me personal questions and I don’t look up from my phone. I get my “Swan”. I’m the last AFAB person in the room so he’s kinda sitting there.

I get to a post about a friend needing moral and/or spiritual support before a medical procedeure, so my ADHD ass goes Oh hey, we have an animal effigy we could sacrifice to the relevant gods! So I take out my lighter and burn the swan roughly 23 seconds after the dude gave it to me, and crush the ashes in my hand because I belatedly realize there’s no sink for me to throw this in. Oh well. Purell the ashes off.

I look up. Dude, and everyone else in the waiting room is staring at me.

“You, uh. Smoke?” Dude tries.

What I Meant To Say: “No I just carry a lighter as a holdover from survival camp as a kid, and if I’m wearing synthetic fabrics that start to ravel, I can use the flame to melt them a bit so they stop.”

What I Actually Said: “No I just have one in case I need to set something on fire.”

I put the lighter away. The hiring manager comes out and calls my name. I go back and have what I think was a reasonably sucessful job interview. I come back out.

Dude, and half of the other candidates are GONE.

unintentionalpowermoves.oops