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[belmontavenuecemetary]

both of me

i am two women

one of me is strong

ruthless

a queen

the other is broken

bedridden

a ghost

i am at a disconnect

between what my soul desires

and what my body can do

a bird whose wings were clipped by the gods

please leave your bloodied wings at my bedside

just once in a while

so that this queen may fly

and experience what it’s like

to be who my heart tells me i am

[ciaocasper]

Things I've learned since becoming ill...

• It’s nobody’s fault. It is genetic. It just happened.

• Do not be too proud or stubborn to ask for help. You need it.

• Brush your teeth and wash your face (even just with a baby wipe) everyday if you’re able to do so. It makes you feel more human.

• Shower or bathe whenever you are able to. Good personal hygiene is good for your mental health.

• Some people will leave. You don’t need those people. Others will stay and they are wonderful human beings.

• You are not a burden. You are not useless. Do not be guilty. Please. Guilt will eat your insides.

• You have not lost who you are. You just now have to make adjustments to accommodate this new thing.

• Accept the fact that you have an illness. Being in denial will only make your mental and physical health worse.

• Clean pyjamas are a divine gift. As are clean bedding and blankets.

• Self care is entirely subjective. If you want to do yoga then do it, if you wanna sit and eat takeout in front of the TV in a squirtle onesie then that’s fine too. Whatever makes you feel good, or at least better.

• If you are tired then rest. Do not burn yourself out. It doesn’t matter what time of day it is, if you need a nap then you have one.

• Talk. Write. Sing. Paint. Draw. Dance. Do something to express your feelings. Don’t keep them inside. You’ll explode.

• Don’t worry if you can’t adjust right away. It takes time. A lot of time.

• Do not feel ashamed or embarrassed. Unfortunately illness often has embarrassing symptoms or such. It isn’t your fault. People who allow you to feel embarrassed about such things are terrible people.

• Keep your sense of humour. Some days it’s the only thing that gets you through.

• There will be good days. Grab them with both hands and enjoy them. Savour them. Spend them doing things you love, things that you can’t do on bad days.

• Prepare yourself to the best of your ability. Like…always have a hospital weekend bag packed for emergencies, keep a bed day drawer or bag near to where you sleep, have food or snacks close by, always have a water bottle…

• Take your meds. Please. If you have a serious illness for the love of god don’t listen to the “big pharma” conspiracy theorists. You need your meds. They keep you alive. They enable you to function.

• Research your illness. Keep yourself informed. But don’t dwell on what might happen. Please don’t scare yourself.

• It’s okay not to feel positive all the time. It’s okay to feel down. It’s perfectly natural. But try to be as positive as you can. For your own sake.

• Your own health comes first. It’s not selfishness it’s survival.

• Be kind to yourself.

• The bad days can be horrific but the good ones are beautiful, and so worth holding on for.

• Don’t give up on love. Just don’t.

• You are a badass warrior.

[tkmcdermott]

Find the silver linings. My chronic illnesses can make staying positive feel impossible some days. But, the truly wonderful thing about it is that I’ve helped so many people who have one or the other of my chronic illness. Growing up in doctor offices and hospitals since you were 2 and having family in the medical field has it’s advantages. I’ve helped point people in the right direction of which specialists to see and am an amazing diagnostician. (I’m aware I’m not a doctor and tell them this and if they should see a doctor. But I can say I’ve honestly never been wrong) I have also helped others with home remedy treatments, have a business that works with people with chronic illnesses and pain naturally (yay living in California!) being chronically ill sucks. I’m not sugar coating that. But, you choose what to do about how you deal with it emotionally and what works for you. Helping others distracts from my pain and brings joy into my heart. I still need this reminder though and need to remember I only have so many spoons to give and it isn’t “selfish” to take care of yourself first.

[barney-against-proana]

The Pro Code: Article I

A bro does not ask for “ana buddies.”

[tkmcdermott]

Totally with you that it is upsetting and sickening to watch these poor people struggle with such a difficult and deadly disorder. I actually was thinking of reporting them as well. However, I came across this article that made me think a bit more about the pros and cons of banning the hashtag for pro Ana, pro self harm, pro suicide. (They completely banned thinspo hashtag on Instagram). This is worth the read. I basically like to counter the posts with something positive and offer an ear to listen if need be. I think there is a solution to helping people with this disorder but I'm not sure if reporting the person's account is the answer because these people are clearly crying for help whether they want to admit it or not. http://www.buzzfeed.com/krystieyandoli/how-teens-are-using-social-media-to-talk-about-suicide?s=mobile

[tkmcdermott]

What's wrong with death sir? What are we so mortally afraid of? Why can't we treat death with a certain amount of humanity and dignity, and decency, and God forbid, maybe even HUMOR"

My text conversation after processing the loss of Robin Williams. Then, being a comedian and dealing with emotions through laughter like he did and encouraged: Me: "Mork what are you doing?!?" "Can't you see earth man, I'm hanging myself with a nanoose nanoose!" Friend: "oh my gosh! You are going to Hell and so am I because I laughed at that! Wait, did he hang himself? :(" Me: "ya... I think so. :( some people are saying asphyxiation." Friend: "aw that's awful. Are you sure that's how it happened?" Me: "But, Some people say he committed arson on his own house to kill himself but I Doubtfire."

[tkmcdermott]

Mother! It is 10 in the morning and you're drinking? We don't do that! We drink Chardonnay in a mug in the bathroom like a lady."

Will and grace loosely quoted.

[tkmcdermott]

Women: The Last Action Hero

Women are badass. No, really. Men wake up in a puddle of blood and panic. Women wake up in a puddle of blood and just say, "FUCK! I have to laundry AGAIN."

[tkmcdermott]

Thoughts That Ran Through My Head the Day After Being Dumped

1. “Nope. Nope. Not waking up. I’m going to live in this bed and die in this bed.” 2. “Fuck. Fine. But I’m not eating and everyone can eat a bag of dicks.” 3. “How would the package a bag of dicks? Like would it be just random ones or would they be color coordinated? Assorted by size?” 4. “How long have I been assessing bags of dicks?” 5. “Doesn’t matter because he can eat a bag of dicks.” 6. *sob session as I lay on the floor* “am I really doing this? What next, Taylor? You gonna play ‘nothing compares to you’on a loop as you sob and hold that shirt he left behind that you put on a pillow to sleep at night? Don’t be that girl. DONT. C’mon.” 7. “AND NOTHING COMPARES! NOTHING COMPARES TO YOU!” 8. ” GOD DAMMIT! Sinead knows my soul! It’s like she found the diary of my soul!”*sobs* 9. “Ok, seriously, this is ridiculous. You are a walking cliche. C’mon. We are putting our big girl Jammie’s on, diving into the pillows and blankets and mocking devious maids. You should eat. You still haven’t eaten. DIET SODA ISNT FOOD.” 10. “Devious maids is so terrible. I must watch more! I need a coloring book though for sure.” 11. “How the hell did my friend Sam know to do a drive by and bring crayons, a coloring book, give me a huge hug and scamper off? Ok she rocks. I’m getting my coloring on! I’m good at this! Ya! Take that, toddlers! I can out color all y’all!” 12. “Bryan was a good artist. He even painted my toe nails.” *wails and sobs* “ok… You done? You wanna knock that off? Ok, back to terrible tv. Drop dead Diva. There. Oh, crap. It’s romantic. He is a liar, jane! He doesn’t love you! Love is a lie!” *sobs* 13. “Ok, maybe now you can eat something since you’ve lost 7lbs since Saturday? Salami and cheese? Eh?” 14. “Oh my gosh! How Stella got her groove back!never seen it but hear it’s what you watch for these types of situations!” 15. “Nope. Salami was the worst idea. Im so sick! Pepto! Where is the Pepto?Am I dying? Is that you, grandpa?” 16. “Ok, gotta text Sarah. You’re in no shape to talk to people. But she is awesome and will probs find you watching how Stella got her groove back being on amusing. You love Sarah and yet haven’t even filled her in that you’re a sad panda and that is sucky. You are a sucky friend. She knows your life. She needs to know that you and Sam spent the majority of the night when she came over talking about your love of Sarah. Ok, Sarah is amazing and totally understands that you need to hibernate and hide in your room for the day. Sarah is awesome. You should be her when you grow up. Or batman.”

[proud-c0nservative-deactivated2]

[tkmcdermott]

Ya. Damn women wanting to be treated with equality! What next? End slavery and demand all races be treated the same?

[breakfastcookie-blog-blog]

This is something that happened to a friend of mine in her own words.

“So, on Friday night my friend and I were at her house and wanted to get out and do something for the evening. We brainstormed ideas and she brought up the idea of seeing a show at the Laugh Factory. I’d never been, I thought...

[tkmcdermott]

I am a huge comedy geek and even have done stand up myself. Which, sadly, is still very much a boys club. I've never found Tosh to be funny or talented. I hope the audience didn't side with him.

[black-culture]

The pressure to achieve an ideal notion of masculinity harms both men AND women. #BeAMan - @zellieimani

[tkmcdermott]

Was just talking about this! I absolutely agree. Why do we ( society) tell young boys to not cry, not show emotions, and that they have to be strong? I nanny two little twin boys that cry when they get their feelings hurt. I was scolded by their dad when I hugged them and told them to " let it all out and feel your feelings".

[fyeahiblogtoomuch]

The fact that this ISN”T already a thing is just NOT RIGHT. 

[tkmcdermott]

My jaw just dropped. Rapists need to be in jail not suing somebody they raped for a child! What sick judge would give them custody? Thank you for bringing this to light

[freshfacedfeminist-blog-blog]

You know why feminists get such a bad reputation?

We find out these amazing, sometimes atrocious facts about women in society… things that are never mentioned, almost taboo.

And go "HEY, SOCIETY! CHECK THIS NIFTY FACT OUT!"

because once you know… theres this itch to let everyone else know...

[tkmcdermott]

Thank you. I sometimes hate looking at the blogs about feminism because of all the anti feminists come on and say hurtful ignorant things that break my heart. Thank you for this. I needed a boost :) #feminist #equality

[andiyoucass]

I hate it when people tell me to face reality when it comes to feminism. When they tell me they don’t want to talk about it. People get visibly uncomfortable when I start a discussion, but I’m not going to stop talking about it. I’m not going to reserve my conversation for someone that already...

[tkmcdermott]

Preach! Never let anyone try to silence you #feminism #raiseyourvoice

[tkmcdermott]

A male friend of mine posted this and i couldn’t agree more

[tkmcdermott]

[tkmcdermott]

[invertedgender]

It doesn’t matter that there are men being mutilated in some parts of the world. It doesn’t matter that men are being sexually harassed every day. It doesn’t matter that men are still treated unfairly. It doesn’t matter that harmful gender roles still exist. Nope, women can have skin cut off their clit at birth, how awful! Everyone knows there is nothing more important than a woman’s sexual happiness! That’s why the world exists!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[tkmcdermott]

I won’t go too into this as I feel you will most likely get a lot of responses. However, just some food for thought. 1) being a feminist doesn’t mean you don’t care about other human rights issues. On the contrary. The whole thing about being a feminist is wanting EVERYONE to have equal rights. 2) perhaps you are unaware, but people ( including us crazy women with our unpredictable uteruses and tiny girl brains) do in fact have to ability to have concern over more than one issue; we can think of more than one thing at once! I know, I know, crazy, right? Also, most of the time, the women that are getting mutilated which is really more upsetting to us women folk not just because it is a way of taking away their sexual freedom and what not, but because they are mutilating their bodies.) are rarely infants it is usually when the girl is about 10 or 11. I am upset to find out that any human is being treated this way regardless of sex, race, age or sexual orientation. So, yes, men are also being tortured, mutilated, etc. too. By talking about this particular issue is just raising awareness. Just because we pause to discuss a serious issue that happens to involve women doesn’t mean that we no longer care about the opposite sex. We care about both. You should try it sometime! It is quite lovely to feel for all of the human race instead of just half

[sinspider]

so much butthurt, so much missing the point, and a nafalt to top it all off. beautiful.

[tkmcdermott]

Nafalt? I thought that the definition of that is someone who says "not all feminists are like that"? I gave a definition of a feminist: someone who believe that women should have the same rights as men. Equality goodness? No? Ok, good talk! #really? #equal rights for all