T'Leigha: I feel like having anxiety, or any mental or physical illness, in your 20s is just terrifying. Like your 20s are quite horrifying within themselves (or so I'm guessing?) but to have the added baggage with it, it's really quite unfair
Especially in this era where people are using mental illness/physical illness as a trend, something to get them noticed, where as the actual sufferers are trying to hide.
You're supposed to, by society's standards, get your life sorted in your 20s. A job, a house, a career, a family, a dog.
If I couldn't do that last year, a magical number isn't going to help make me more adulty
If anything it's going on worsen the guilt when I don't have it done.
I'm surrounded by people I grew up with starting families and buying houses, getting engaged, starting their careers, travelling, driving.
While on any given day I can struggle to get out of bed.
I have family asking questions I don't know the answers too
The fear is unforgiving and within it, it brings the guilt. The guilt of I'm not living up to certain peoples standards, the guilt of people having to take me places, to walk me through simple tasks because today my brain and my body co-decided that it's not going to co-operate with me today
I hid from what I gave for years, nodded when I wanted to shake my head, told people I was okay when I wasn't because the whole stigma surrounding mental health
How am I the disgrace when there's teenagers faking my illness to be cool?
Why is my illness lessened because someone else has multiple diagnosis'?
Loryn: I feel like having anxiety, or any mental or physical illness, in your 20s is just terrifying. Like your 20s are quite horrifying within themselves (or so I'm guessing?) but to have the added baggage with it, can seem really unfair.
Especially in this era where people are using mental illness/physical illness as a trend, something to get them noticed, where as the actual sufferers are trying to hide.
Unfortunately people fall into one of societies major traps. It's been happening for decades, gone by unnoticed or unchallenged. You're supposed to, by society's standards, get your life sorted in your 20s. Have everything figured out. A job, a house, a career, a family, a dog.
If I couldn't do that last year, a magical number isn't going to help make me more adulty
If anything it's going to worsen the guilt when I don't have it done. And therein lies the trap.
I'm surrounded by people I grew up with starting families and buying houses, getting engaged, starting their careers, travelling, driving.
While on any given day I can struggle to get out of bed.
This is what society as a whole and even I struggle to remember on any given day. I AM NOT A PART OF SOCIETIES "TRADITIONS". This is not a game of "who can do this and get there the fastest".
This is my life. This is my journey. I have been dealt cards that leave me with tears streaming down my face, begging for release at 2am on the bathroom floor for no apparent reason other than because my mind and body aligns and tells me I am in pain.
It may take me longer to do the "simple" tasks others have completed years ago. But I will get there. But therein lies the guilt. The guilt that always returns as a result of societies persistent trend of ways.
The fear is unforgiving and within it, it brings the guilt. The guilt of I'm not living up to certain peoples standards, the guilt of people having to take me places, to walk me through simple tasks because today my brain and my body co-decided that it's not going to co-operate with me today.
Some people will not understand this. They will look at me and call me lazy, ungrateful, terrible, terrible things without knowledge of the fight I live with every day.
But there remains those few who on days where I cannot function without help, will hold my hand and guide my through life willingly. These people are hard to find and even harder to keep around. But I am thankful for their understanding and their efforts.
I hid from what I had for years, nodded when I wanted to shake my head, told people I was okay when I wasn't because the whole stigma surrounding mental health. How am I the disgrace when there's teenagers faking my illness to be cool?
Why is my illness lessened because someone else has multiple diagnosis'?
One step at a time, out of societies game. We were not made to fit in a box. We're creative and fluid, we're defined by something greater than a longing to "survive". We know what it truly means. We always have.
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