My thoughts about Kim
Here is another thing that has been bothering me about the way people talk about Kim and Porchay. So when they first meet it is at the open house for the school. Kim is there in Wik persona not the mafia prince of the city. His music and his school are his safe spaces. He is performing and playing games and giving back to the one thing that ignites his passion. Suddenly there is this kid in the crowd that knows all about him. Down to obscure details in his music videos. He is stunned and taken aback and then impressed. Later when he meets Porchay face to face he is charmed by how nervous and geniune he seems. Then out of nowhere Porchay asks him to tutor him in guitar to get into the faculty. This is so forward. Imagine meeting your favorite actor and asking them for acting lessons. Kim is thrown because, "Wow, so brave." but also that part of him that is mafia raised also feels that warning. He carefully deflects it because really that is what you might do when put in an uncomfortable situation and you don't want to be a jerk.
Then later Big brings Kim the files about Porsche and low and behold, there is Porchay. So now his mind is going to all the other places that he needs to consider. Was it a setup? Was Chay there to get close to him? It was probably a little crushing to him that the sweet, brave kid he thought really liked his music and was starstruck by meeting him might have only been playacting. He is also probably a little pissed off because these people intruded onto his safe space, his music. We know that Chay is really as he presents but Kim doesn't at this point. Now he has to consider that Chay was just trying to get him to tutor him as a ruse. He has to rethink every moment of that encounter to see what was really going on and in the end, he isn't sure. He goes to visit his father and still doesn't have any answers so he does the only thing left. He goes to the source.
Kim sets up the tutoring session to see how much of a threat Porsche and Porchay really are. If you think about it, what kind of person sends their baby brother into a potentionally dangerous situation to get whatever they are trying to get from the Theerapanyakul family. Porsche must be desperate or psychotic in Kim's mind. Both of those scenarios are too volatile to ignore. He makes sure to set the tutoring session on his own turf, a place he feels secure. Then he gets Chay to talk about his brother and goes into full Sherlock mode reading his body language. Nothing flags for him and so in the last effort to close out this scenario he gets ahold of Chay's phone and reads his messages. And finds out that Chay is gushing over him. He can't believe that P'Wik is tutoring him and this is the best thing ever. You can see Kim breathe out in relief when he looks at Chay through the glass. When he comes back in he is ready to dismiss Chay completely because he has decided that whatever Porsche is doing Chay isn't involved. He isn't even going to spend anymore time with Chay. He hands Chay back his phone and tries to bounce. But Chay surprises him by insisting that he listen to the part of the song he has written. And Kim's face kinda says, "yeah I should probably listen just to be polite." Because he is back to trying not to be a jerk to the kid who really likes his music.
And then Chay blows Kim away with his talent. He wrote a halfway decent song in the time it took Kim to make a phone call. The musician part of him can't help but respond. He starts to play the piano along with it. He starts making small changes to help smooth it out a little. It's suddenly a collaboration. And after they finish the first run through instead of excusing himself so he can get back to his life he asks Chay if he can play it again. He is so completely gone.
I would think that Kim, if you ask him about showing up at Chay's home, would insist that he was just being thorough. Just following up to make sure he hadn't missed anything. The truth is he wants to spend more time with Chay, bring him a guitar that suits his voice better. Then when he gets there Chay tries to keep him out, tells him the power is out. Suspicion rears it head. But once he is inside, its just messy. Chay was just embarrassed. So in Kim's mind it makes sense. Then when he almost walks into Chay's bedroom, Chay is right there to stop him, trying to keep him from getting somewhere again. For a person raised in the mafia when someone doesn't want you to look someplace, that is definately the place that you need to see. So he manufactuers a way to get Chay out of the house and goes to see what Chay is hiding from him. In his mind, it must be important for Chay to get all flustered and bothered about it. So he breaks in to find... a shrine to himself. Every time he thinks that he has figured out the deep dark secret he is surprised. That can be alluring in itself. When you aren't surprised very often people who catch you off guard are very intriguing.
This is the point when Kim lost the battle. He doesn't know it yet but a super charming ball of sunshine was about to come back and call him cool and good with instruments and such a nice person. And really can you blame Kim for wanting all of that. Chay is warm and geniune and likes Kim for who he sees him as. And Kim really wants to be seen like that.
The rest of the show is Kim trying to stay away because he knows that he shouldn't be indulging in this fantasy he has of being with Chay and trying withstand the onslaught of Chay's adoration and affection. He trys to stay cool and aloof and never succeeds. Everytime Chay comes to him he cracks a bit more. He shows up and sings him a love song that is defininatley about Kim and is completely adorable while doing it. Chay show up with a handmade present and blurts out that he likes him even though Kim has been ghosting him. Even when Kim kisses him he still seeing being with Chay as a fantasy. Chay hugs him so hard he can't breathe and he loves it. He breaks a little bit more and they spend the night together. Completely innocent but so satisfying. Then Chay says he loves him and he can't say it back. Reality smacks him straight in the face. Chay doesn't know who he really is so it would be a lie to lead him on. He trys to leave again. He is going to leave a post it and walk. Finally put this childish dream to bed. Get back to his life and pretend that this never happened.
And then the world comes crashing down with screams, tasers, and masked men. This time Kim doesn't hesitate. He calls Kinn. It has been established that they haven't talked in so long that Kinn doesn't even feel like Kim is real anymore and he calls him to find out what the hell just happened. He walks into a warehouse with only Big at his side, unwilling to wait for the others to arrive so that it could be a more coordinated effort, and hauls up the boy he loves and gets him out of there. He doesn't argue with Porsche when he tells him to get Chay out of there, doesn't try to help handle the situation. Kim takes what he came for and hauls ass because Chay is the only thing that matters to him.
I don't think Kim's world is ever going to be the same again.
