Tlou2 Fanfiction

Requests are open ! ( I also write for other fandoms, just ask ) 

[tlou2holland]

Masterlist

Joel x Reader series ( finished ) 

Part 1 

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4 

Part 5 (smut)

Part 6

Part 7 (smut)

Part 8

Part 9

Part 10

[tlou2holland]

Joel x reader ( pt 10 )

Summary: You find Joel and Tommy in the cottage 

Warnings: violence, cursing, blood, description of wounds and over all pain

You can read the previous chapters here 

“The weather cleared up nice.“ You mumble groggily as you hover over your horse, the hood of your jacket pulled over your head and feet freezing. Jesse chuckles next to you, not that you could see him in the thick snow that coldheartedly rains down on the two of you. “We´re almost there!“ He shouts over the loud whistling of wind, picking up speed. You frown and follow him, eyes trained on the horses bum to not lose him. “How are we supposed to see any infected in this?“ You ask, swallowing down a cough from the cold air. “Let´s worry about that when we´re out of this.“ Jesse briefly looks over his shoulder but you can´t even make out his face, blindly following what you assume must be his trace. You try to listen to your surroundings, for any signs of danger, but you hear nothing more than your own shallow breathing and the rustling wind. “Jesse!“ You shout after passing the same sign for the second time. Are you riding in circles? No, that couldn’t be. “Jesse?“ You try again, more desperate this time. “Jesse!“ You stop your horse and try to look around, but you’re not familiar with your surroundings. “Shit.“ You grab the hood of your jacket and pull it even lower, looking around with panicked eyes. How far it is to the next lookout? You have no idea. You decide to make a right turn and just continue riding forward, almost sliding off the saddle with your stiff legs and numb feet. “Where the fuck am I?“ You say to yourself, eyes trained to the sides to find anything you might recognize. “Y/N?“ You hear Jesse call out from the distance, immediately stopping your horse and sitting upright to listen properly. “Y/N!“ You hear again, sighing out in relieve. “I`m here!“ You wait for Jesses response and continue your way forward, quite sure that he’s there somewhere. “I thought I lost you.“ Jesses form appears in front of you and he breathes heavily, barely giving you time to answer before he continues his way. “We have to hurry!“ He picks up speed again, this time making sure you really follow him before leading you into an empty building. As soon as the safety of these walls keep the harsh wind out, you remove the hood from your head and look around. “Is this a lookout?“ You ask in wonder, never having seen this one before. “No. This way.“ He ducks his head and urges his horse to go over a small bump of bricks. You follow and keep your head low to fit through the hole in the wall. “We can rest the horses here.“ He stops in front of a wall and stiffly gets down, cursing when his feet hit the ground. “How do you know this place?“ You ask as you get down as well, removing some snow from your horse and gently patting it on its neck. “Dina and I found it once when the weather was like this.“ He meets your eyes and shrugs his shoulders, bringing up his hands to blow some warm air into them. You knot your reins onto an old pipe and remove your gloves, deciding to use them when you have to get back outside. “Why aren’t we using this as a lookout?“ You walk towards a broken window and follow Jesse as he climbs through, careful not to cut yourself on the glass splinters in the corner. “It´s too far out. The supermarket is minimum two hours from here.“ Jesse sighs in defeat and you let yourself fall onto a sofa, a cloud of dust puffing into the air at your impact. You must be inside an old office or something similar, as the room is filled with desks and old computers. Jesse sits down next to you and rests his elbows on his knees, rubbing his temples. “we should wait until the snow is not as thick.“ You rub your legs up and down to get some feeling back into them, Jesse watching your movements out of the corner of your eyes. “I don´t know for sure, but I think Dina and Ellie´s lookout must be somewhere halfway.“ He furrows his brows and you lay a hand on his shoulder, urging him to lean back. “We can stop there and see if they already left, but now we need to rest. Just for a bit.“ You give his shoulder a squeeze and rest your hands in your lap afterwards, mindlessly playing with your fingers as you hear the wind raging outside. “I don´t like this.“ Jesse says, shaking his head. “What?“ You look at him and he meets your eyes, gaze stern and lips pulled into a tight line. “Sitting around and doing nothing. That’s not why we came out here.“ Jesse bumps his knee up and down and you sigh, pushing yourself forward and straightening your back. “Me neither, but we don’t have a choice. We can´t even see ourselves out there, how are we supposed to see any infected or find each other? Let´s wait until it calmed down at least a little bit.“ You rub your running nose and feel Jesse´s eyes on you. “Alright.“ He nods and finally leans back, stopping his impatient knee bouncing. “How are things with you and Joel?“ He asks after some minutes in silence. You chuckle and feel yourself blush, a small smile creeping onto your face. “Great. It feels like we know each other forever. I really love him.“ You bite your lip and Jesse laughs, a gently smile resting on his lips. “Everyone can see that. I´m happy for you guys, I never thought Joel would find someone he can warm up to, but here you are.“ He nudges your side with his elbow and you roll your eyes, playfully pushing him back. “He´s not that hard to warm up to.“ “I heard otherwise. I´m just glad Joel likes me, wouldn’t want to be on his bad side.“ Jesse makes a face and you laugh, one name instantly popping into your head. “You mean like Marcus?“ You turn your head to look at Jesse and he grins, an expression you see way too rarely on him. “Shit, yeah. He´s scared of Joel.“ He nods his head and you both laugh, forgetting the heavy duties on your backs for just a second. “You know, when we have our next movie night, you should join us. You’re one of us, too. I miss hanging out with you.“ You admit when the laughter dies down and silence washes over the pair of you again. “You think Dina would be okay with that?“ Jesse asks, eyes fixed on his frozen shoelaces. “Of course. We all hung out together way before Dina and you became a thing, and you’re Ellies friend too. You don’t have to exclude yourself from us.“ You wiggle your toes and feel them brush against the hard cover of your boots. “It´s been ages since I saw a movie.“ Jesse clears his throat and you grin, happily grabbing his arm and gently pressing down on it. “How about we watch a movie tomorrow? Just the four of us, like in old times.“ You look at him and he lays his hand on top of yours, biting back a smile. “You think Joel can survive a night without you?“ He asks dryly, hiding the teasing in his voice. You brush his hand off and let go of his arm, laying enough teasing in your voice for the both of you. “Obviously no, but he has no other choice.“ You quickly get up and clap your hands together, rocking back and forth on his heels. “It´s not snowing as much anymore, we should get going.“ 

So that’s what you do, and when you meet Dina and Ellie at their lookout, you’re not amused at what they tell you. “You´ve been to our meeting point and Tommy and Joel didn´t show up?“ Jesse asks, voice monotone and calm while Ellie and you exchange worried looks. “Yeah, we cleared the area and waited there for some time, but none of you guys showed up. We wanted to come back here to wait out the storm, and start looking for you.“ Dina looks back and forth between you and Jesse and you grab the collar of your jacket, anxiously fisting the fabric in your hands. “What if something happened to them?“ You ask directed towards Ellie, who shows the same concern as you. “Hey, they probably just waited out the storm like we all did.“ Dina rubs Ellies back and Jesse shakes his head, deep in thought. “Their lookout is the closest to the supermarket, they could have waited it out there.“ Jesse looks at you and you shakily exhale. “Jesse is right. Joel and Tommy know their way around, even in a snowstorm.“ You chew on the inside of your cheek and lower your gaze, thoughts running wild. “We should look for them.“ Ellie is quick to put her jacket back on and slides her backpack onto her shoulders, while Dina still stands there, looking over to Jesse for any objections. “Alright. Each of us is going to take a side.“ Jesse says while he looks over to you, knowing that you’re with Ellie on this. Dina quickly gets ready herself and readjusts her knife on her belt. You grab your own to make sure its still there, and hope secretly that you don’t have to use it. “I´ll cover the east side.“ You claim, knowing your way around there the best. “Me the south.“ Ellie adds, holding the same worried gaze as you. “Jesse, you take west and me north.“ Dina sighs and steps away from Ellie, ready to leave. “We´ll all go back to Jackson by sundown, is that clear?“ Jesse looks especially long at Ellie and you, and you both nod, knowing damn well you won’t stop looking until you found them. “Let´s get going.“ You’re quick to climb back onto your horse and run off, ignoring the stinging of the cold wind against your sensitive face. Your heart beats fast and you hold the reigns so tight in your hands, you feel your nails digging into your palm despite wearing gloves. You scan the area ahead of you for any traces, but find none. You know there’s a small village and some cottages up the hills, so that’s where you go. You hope to find them empty, and that Tommy and Joel might still be safe in their lookout where Dina will find them. But your gut tells your otherwise, and it’s usually never wrong. You practically run over the blanket of snow, hearing the heavy stomping of your horses hooves whenever they hit the ground. You’re almost at the village, and decide to walk the rest yourself. Your horse couldn’t climb the hills even if it wanted to, and you can tell its getting more tired with each passing mile. “Easy girl.“ You whisper when you reach the empty town, letting the reins loose and leaning back to slow down your horse. When it comes to a stop, you quickly get off and bring it into shelter at an old workshop. There you open the gateway and bring it inside, safe from the cold and snow until you’d come back. “Don´t run off.“ You run your hand along its fur and cover its back with a blanket you find in the corner before running off onto the streets. You search for a light or some traces, a fire or distant voices. But nothing. Not even infected roam the alleys you skim through, and your heart grows more anxious with each step you take. Your only hope now are the cottages, so you start to climb the old hiking trail and curse when snow gets into your boots. “Joel? Tommy?“ You cup your hands around your mouth to let your voice be louder, but no response. You have to climb on all fours to not slide the narrow pathway back down, as you go higher and higher. You can see the cottages from a distance, and decide to get to them from the back just in case they need help and you don’t want to be seen. Your whole body screams for a break, but you push through. From all your patrols this is your least favorite, you decide. “Joel, Tommy?“ You try again as you jump over a small creek and almost slip on a wet rock. “Where the fuck are you guys?“ You mumble mindlessly, as your head totally crosses out the possibility of them being somewhere else where Jesse or Ellie might find them. “you better not be in trouble.“ You whisper under your breath when you finally get to the fence of a wooden cottage. You can see light burning inside and burned bodies in front of the gate, given by the looks of their flesh, infected bodies. A shiver runs along your spine and you duck your head to stay out of sight, sneaking around the fence and climbing back down in the progress. The earth is upright and you have trouble with keeping your balance, slipping twice and sliding down the track on your bum. By now you don’t feel the impact when your body hits the ground, as you’re too focused on what is ahead of you. A broken piece of the fence where you can climb over, and hopefully find Tommy and Joel. “Oh come on.“ You curse when your hands keep slipping off the broken piece of wood, unable to properly pull yourself up and hop over the fence. After some more failed tries, you stop and catch your breath. You have to look for another way in, and stay close to the fence as you continue your way down. “you better be here.“ You aimlessly push some pieces of wood, hoping that one of them might be loose and move under your touch. That’s until you see a hole, close to the ground and with a radius big enough for you to slip through. You remove your backpack and push it through first before climbing in yourself, stomach pressed flat against the snow and head down. You grunt when you pull yourself forwards with your arms, feeling the cold creeping up your bones and your own weight in your muscles. Once you’re through, you get back up and quickly slide your backpack back on, staying in a crouched position and making a straight line towards the back of the cottage. You don´t see anyone guarding the windows, so you slide one open and climb in. You stand in an open room, a soft fire burning in a chimney downstairs and sleeping bags laying all over the floor. You quietly take the gun out of your holder and keep a finger on the trigger as you roam through the house, briefly checking the empty upper level before skipping down the steps and into the corridor. You hear muffled voices from downstairs and feel a cold sweat breaking out when you hear Tommy´s voice. “Don´t touch him!“ That statement is followed by a grunt and silence, that’s until you hear him. His groans fill your ears and you feel your breath hitch in your throat when he screams. You almost drop the gun as you run into the kitchen and find the door that guards another staircase down. You only stop when the door behind you falls shut and you’re surrounded by darkness, the loud slamming of the door making you wince. You hear muffled voices and the repeating shouts of Joel. You feel the doorknob in your palm and twist it, pushing the door open without a second thought. There he lays, beaten up with a barely recognizable face and blood oozing out his knee and mouth. “Joel!“ You scream, trying to get to him, but someone grabs you from the side and pushes you down onto the floor. You feel knees on your back and someone holding your arms, your bones crushing painfully in your position. It all happens so fast, you have no time to react. “Let me go!“ You shout, tears pooling in your eyes and running down your cheeks when you see Tommy laying unconscious on the ground. Your vision is blurred but you can make out a muscular girl with blonde hair, repeatedly hitting Joel with a golf club. “Stop!“ You cry out, wiggling with all your strength to free yourself from the man on top of you, but their voices cut through your sobs. “Who the fuck is she?“ A man with a baseball cap asks. “How did she get in there?“ A woman with curly hair and brown eyes looks down on you and the blonde one stops, letting the golf club slide down her palm. Joel whimpers and your eyes immediately land on him, but he barely recognizes you. His right eye is just one big purple bruise, and his fingers twitch as blood pulses out the top of his head. “Joel fucking get up.“ You cry, voice wobbly and breath hitched. “Is no one guarding the doors?“ Another man with beard asks, walking over to the woman holding the club and laying a hand on her arm. “We should go, before more of them come.“ He says in a low voice. “I´m going to kill you! All of you!“ You scream, kicking your legs and locking eyes with the woman that is covered in specks of Joels blood. “We should kill her.“ The man on top of you growls and you feel a knife on your throat as your head gets yanked back. You barely wince as you frown and look at Joel, his eyes threatening to close. His lip twitches, but no sound comes out. “Joel get up!“ You sob again, feeling the blade invade your skin as you speak. The girl moves over to you and raises her golfclub, Joel gurgling on his blood as he tries to say something. You see him out of the corner of your eyes, and try to block everything else out. This is it, you think. “No! If we kill her, we´re no better than him.“ The man with the beard says, suddenly stepping in front of you. You see his shoes move and hold your breath as you collect all your strength and kick your elbow back, praying to hit the man behind you. You hear him curse and loose the grip on you for only a second, enough time for you to push yourself up and run over to Joel. At least that’s what your blurry vision makes you believe. Not even a millisecond later, the guy with the cap kicks you in the face and you feel your cheek pop under his boot. You cough and cry out when your temple meets the ground again, hands gripping your neck while someone sits on top of you. “Fuck, this little bitch!“ You ignore the angry shouts around you and keep your eyes trained on Joel instead, who barely moves at this point. “Please stop.“ A heart wrenching cry escapes your throat and you directly look at the woman with the broad muscles. She slowly raises the golf club again and you scream and kick your legs around, almost suffocating under the weight on top of you. Joel looks at you with glassy eyes, gaze unfocused and slippery. He barely breathes anymore and the only sign he’s still alive is his hand, weakly reaching out for you while his lips move. Unrecognizable for the others, but clearly visible for you. I love you. “Joel, get up. Please.“ You stop your fighting when you choke on your own tears, feeling like you’re going to black out any second. This couldn’t be real. “Don´t kill him!

 I´m begging you!“ You scream as you inhale, lungs burning, stopping you from breathing normal. Your eyes stay focused on Joel and you hear blood rushing in your ears when the golf club meets his temple. His whole body twitches one last time before his hands stop moving and his eyes stare lifelessly back at you. He´s dead. “No.“ You shriek, mouth opening as you feel bile rising at the back of your throat. You can´t breathe and sob hysterically, suppressing a gag when Joels puddle of blood grows bigger and bigger, almost soaking you. 

„I´m going to fucking kill you! All of you!“ You barely manage to raise your head when another kick to your face knocks you out, and this time for good. 

“She´s alive! She’s opening her eyes.“ You hear Dinas worried voice before you see her. Your head rests against something soft and you realize she has your head in her lap, cradling your face with her hands. You try to fully open your eyes but they feel heavy and wet, like someone poured glue in them and taped them shut. After some struggling you realize one eye of yours is indeed swollen shut, including your cheek and busted lip. You don´t even flinch at the pain in your ribs and face, as the pain in your heart is way worse. The memories start flowing back in and you see Joels face in front of you, his lifeless eyes staring at you while the golf club meets his temple, smashing whatever bit was left of him. “Joel, he, he´s-“ You try to sit up and barely recognize your own voice, having almost lost all of it. “He´s dead.“ You choke out, clutching your chest before rolling to the side and throwing up, your stomach cramping painfully. How can a simple patrol go so horribly wrong? You feel hot shivers running along your spine and Dina rubbing your back, while another pair of boots come into your view. Jesse.

“Let´s get her and the others back to Jackson. We´ll send someone for Joels bod-“ “No.“ You say fiercely, wiping your mouth and resting your hands on the floor, slowly pushing yourself up. “I´m not leaving without him.“ Your whole body screams at you not to do it, but you turn around, shaking vividly and seeing black dots anywhere. When you see the imprint of a silhouette laying underneath a white cloth, your nostrils flatter as you try to hold back tears. Your ribcage hurts with every movement of yours, but you ignore that and the pounding in your head as you weakly crawl over to him. The blood has been cleaned off but the stain on the floor is still visible, and you sit down next to him, resting a hand over the cloth. It’s cold and you feel Joels hand beneath yours, waiting for his fingers to wrap around yours but they never do. And that’s when it hits you, he’s really gone. “Y/N we can´t take him. The horses can´t carry that many people. Ellie, Tommy and you need medics.“ For the first time in your life, you hear Jesses voice quiver and look at him. His eyes are bloodshot and you see blood on his hands, realizing that he was the one to remove the blood stain around Joel. Dina slowly gets up and nods, face pale and eyes moving anywhere but to Joels lifeless body. “He´s right, we will come back as fast as we can. I promise.“ Her voice is soft but you don’t want to hear it. 

“What´s wrong with Ellie?“ You whisper confused as you stare at the cloth in front of you. Joels boots and legs peak out, and you can see the gunshot in his knee. He must have been in so much pain. “Ellie was the one to find you guys. She put up a fight and ended up like you. Her and Tommy are outside now, we really need to get you guys checked up.“ Jesse moves to help you up, but you raise your hand and turn your back towards him, slowly inhaling as you feel a wave of tears daring to break out. “Then go without me and come back.

 I´m not leaving him here.“ Your torso hunches over, almost like in a prayer as you protect Joels body with the little coverage your body gives. “Y/N we can´t just leave you here.“ You feel Dinas hand on your shoulder but quickly shake her off, the bile and blood in your mouth tasting like poison. “I´m not leaving him.“ You say again, this time slowly and with as much strength as your voice can muster. “Come on Dina, we´ll come back for her.“ You hear Jesse leaving the room and Dina following shortly after, their boots stomping up the steps and away from the sight you know you will never forget. You don´t know how long you sit next to Joel and cry, clutching his cold body while your tears and blood soak the cloth. When Jesse and another guy from Jackson return to get you and Joel, you feel like no time has passed. You don´t talk on the way back, body feeling numb and lifeless. You don´t feel the cold eating away on your skin, or the way you almost slip of your horse whenever it changes direction. You don´t feel the tears drying on your cheeks, or the throbbing in your eye and ribs. You don´t even realize its pitch black when the gates of Jackson come into your view, your gaze too focused on Joels body hanging over the horse in front of you. He looks like a package, wrapped in cloths and laid over the horses bum while Jesse sits in front. Its not him. Your mind screams at you, but you know its lying. You saw him die. You saw his dead body, and helped carry it onto that horse. It is him. You remind yourself, and the reality of it is so painful and hits you like a hurricane, blowing you off your horse and robbing you of all your senses. 

When you wake up, you lay in your bed. You are wrapped in the sheets that smell like Joel and have your head rest on his pillow. You stare at the ceiling and frown at the sunlight shining in. You’re about to sit up, when rustling to your left makes you turn your head. For a second you thought its Joel, but Ellies slender frame comes into view. She’s rummaging through a small red box resting by the foot of the bed. “Ellie?“ You ask, voice raspy and throat awfully dry. She looks at you with bloodshot eyes, a thick purple bruise on her cheek and Joels revolver in her hands. “You´re awake.“ She says, weighing the gun in her hands and uncomfortably brushing over the trigger. You nod and push yourself up, biting your lip when your whole body arches. “Are this-“ You start, gathering strength to say the next words. “Are this his things?“ You finish, eyes landing on the watch inside the box. Ellie nods and takes the broken watch out of the box, giving it to you. Her fingers are cold when they touch yours and you feel the splintered glass beneath your fingertips. “He never took that off.“ You say, eyes fixed on the worn out wristband. “I know.“ Ellie lowers her head and stuffs the revolver into the back of her jeans. “What are you doing with his gun?“ You ask when she slides the box over to you, revealing one of Joels woodworks. It’s one you’ve never seen before, and your heart stops beating when you realize this must be the present he made for you. You lay the watch on your nightstand and pick the woodwork up. Its a woman with a guitar in her hands, while a man stands behind her and puts her fingers onto the right strings. It’s so detailed, you immediately recognize this to be You and Joel. You almost forget Ellie is there as you stare at the figure in your hands, remembering the moment Joel chose for this like it was yesterday. “I´m going to avenge him. Dina and I are leaving today.“ Ellies broken voice pops your little bubble and you’re pulled back into reality. “I´m coming with you.“ You say without a second thought. “You´re hurt Y/N.“ Ellie shakes her head and you grasp the wood tightly in your palm, kicking off the covers and climbing out of bed. Your vision is unsteady but you ignore the warning signals of your body, standing your ground. “I don´t care. I´m not going to let you do this without me.“ You limp over to the closet where you see your backpack and hear Ellie sighing behind you. “Look, it’s going to be dangerous. And I can´t risk you getting hurt any fu-“ you quickly cut Ellie off by angrily grabbing your jacket from a hanger and slipping into the sleeves. “I saw what they did to him. This girl, she smashed his skull in with a golf club! I begged them to stop, but they didn’t listen.“ Tears pool in your eyes as you shake your head, the images fresh in your brain. “I know, I was the one who found you.“ Ellie lowers her voice while you continue to get dressed, fingers shaking and nose running. “Then you know why I must come with you. I can’t let them get away with that.“ You step in front of her and your eyes lock, her green ones holding the same sadness and pain as yours. “Are you sure you feel well enough for that? They kicked you in the face.“ Ellie reasons, pointing to your bruised face. You look at her and nod. “To avenge Joel is enough to keep me going. I´m coming with you.“ You walk over to the bedside and grab Joels watch from the nightstand, sliding it onto your wrist and holding it tight while you grab a picture of the two of you and stuff it into your backpack. Your mind is a mess and doesn’t really know what to pack, but you know you need something of him with you. “Alright. Tommy already ran off, maybe we´ll find him on our way.“ Ellie informs you as she waits for you to finish. You take a final look around the room and along all the memories flowing in, your eyes land on the wooden figure of Joel and You. “I´m going to find and I’m going to kill, every last one of them.“ You slide the backpack onto your shoulders and leave without another word, Ellie following closely behind. 

Joel is dead, and you’re damned if you don’t hunt down the people that took him from you. 

————

That’s it. I made Joel die and hate myself for it. BUT my heart hurts so much, I’m thinking about writing an alternative ending where he lives, if that’s what you guys want. He deserves to be happy, poor Joel´s been done dirty enough in the game.

[tlou2holland]

Joel x reader ( pt 9 )

summary: You and Joel prepare for the upcoming patrol 

warnings: none 

you can read the previous parts here

“I don´t think its a good idea to split up.“ Jesse shakes his head and you look at him out of the corner of your eye, him and Dina sitting next to you. Joel and Tommy sit across from you while Marie and Ellie each took a seat at the head of the table. “But the infected has been sighted here-“ Tommy points to the card in front of him and marks the place with a red pen. “in town and here.“ He connects the dots to show how far away from each other they are, and Maria sighs. “We have to get to them somehow, we can’t risk to let them any closer towards Jackson.“ She takes the map and slides it over the table towards her, looking at the route with a deep frown. “what if we build teams to secure our lookouts, and meet up somewhere in the middle after we’re done?“ Ellie looks around for any faces of approval, and you nod. “This could work, If anything goes wrong and one of us doesn’t show up to the meeting point, we know where they went missing and can take a look.“ “but some lookouts might be more overrun than others.“ Joel sighs and takes the card from Maria, trying to find a route that is somehow a little safe for everyone. “That could also happen on normal patrols, we can try to come from all sides and meet up here-“Dina leans up from her seat and points to the supermarket Joel and You cleaned a couple weeks ago. “This way each of us can cover a lookout and has roughly the same way to the meeting point.“ “and some lookouts were freshly cleaned this week, it shouldn’t be too much trouble.“ Tommy tucks a strand of hair behind his ear and looks at Joel. “What do you say?“ “I don´t like this, but it might work.“ Joel shrugs his shoulders and you nod, looking at him. “Let´s partner up then, who knows each lookout the best?“ You say, sinking deeper into your seat and waiting for someone to speak up. “You know your way around the radio tower?“ Jesse asks Ellie, pointing to the first dot on the map. She shakes her head, no. “I know this route, I used to do go with Eugene.“ Dina speaks up and Jesse briefly looks at her before approving. “Alright, you and Ellie take over the west side, after you’re done you can check the village and go to the supermarket.“ “Are you sure you know the way?“ Joel stares at Dina and you can tell he’s worried, while Ellie lets out an annoyed huff. “I do, don´t worry Joel.“ Dina smiles and Maria claps her hands, getting everyones attention. “Alright, Joel and Tommy will cover the east side, you know your way around the hotel and lodge, right?“ Maria looks at her husband and Tommy elbows Joel who has a frown on his face. “We got this.“ “Y/N and I will go through to the city and forrest.“ Jesse and you make eye contact and you smile at him, nodding despite the nervous feeling in your stomach. “I´ll send a troop to clean the areas close around Jackson so you guys don’t have to do everything alone.“ Maria circles the lookouts on the map and slides it back towards the middle for everyone to see. “Everyone´s okay with this?“ She asks, rubbing her temples with her fingers. “Do we have another choice?“ Joel chuckles and starts pushing his chair back, you getting up as well. “Okay we will wait for the weather to clear up and leave in one or two days.“ Jesse starts putting his jacket back on and Ellie gets up with a sigh. “fucking infected.“ She mumbles while Dina walks over to her, a small smile framing her face. “Everything will be okay.“ She says goodbye to everyone and you wait for Joel to finish chatting with Tommy before walking back home. “This whole partner patrolling doesn’t sit right with me.“ Joel mumbles under his breath and you link your arm through his while you leave Tommys neighborhood. “Why?“ You cuddle into his side to block out the cold and Joel sighs, looking at his boots. “Dina and Ellie and Jesse and you together? It would have been better to pair you guys with Tommy or me. We know our way around and have more-“  “Hey.“ You interrupt him, stopping your tracks and standing in front of Joel to make him look at you. “Jesse is very responsible and wouldn’t do anything that puts us into unnecessary danger. Ellie knows her way with guns and Dina is a cautious person. We will be fine.“  You shrug your shoulders and Joel tilts his head to the side, scanning your flushed face. “I worry too much, don’t I?“ He lowers his head and you giggle, continuing your way home. “Yeah, you need to stop or you’ll get wrinkles from all the frowning.“ “I already have wrinkles.“ Joel furrows his brows and you laugh. “That´s cause you’re old.“ You tease and Joel mocks your laugh. “Ha ha, very funny. You’ll look like that one day, too.“ He nudges your side and you put on a serious face, eyes looking into his hazel ones. “Hopefully, and when I grow old its your turn to make fun of me.“ “I´d like to see that.“ Joel opens the door to your home and you slip inside, instantly shrugging your snowy jacket off and hanging it onto your wardrobe. “You want some Tea?“ You ask as you walk into the kitchen. Joel grunts and you hear his heavy boots walking upstairs, probably to change. You put some water onto the stove and prepare the tea leafs. You wait for the liquid to boil and pour it into two mugs, giving Joel the one with the owl on it. You make sure to grab the handles tight and make your way upstairs, squinting back and forth from the mugs to the stairs in front of you. “Joel?“ You shout as you gently kick the door to your bedroom open with your foot, only to find it empty. “In here, baby.“ Joels voice comes from somewhere behind you so you turn around and check the bathroom, finding it empty as well. It’s not until you hear the itching of a blade against wood that you groan at your own stupidness and go into Joels crafting room. There he sits, knife in one and a piece of wood in the other hand. “What are you working on?“ You ask as you sit down next to him, placing the mug onto the work plate. “That´s a surprise.“ He smiles at you and you take a sip of your tea, cursing when you burn your tongue. “Am I allowed to see?“ You try to peak over Joels hands but he covers most of the wood with his palm. “Don´t spoil yourself, it’s not finished yet.“ “How long have you been working on it?“ You hug Joel from behind and he drops the wood, quickly covering it with a cloth. “Started last week.“ He leans back into your chest and you rest your chin on top of his head. “I didn´t notice.“ You kiss his hairline and he runs his hands over your arms, holding your shoulders tight. “That was the plan baby.“ He chuckles and you play with the fabric of his shirt. “But now I know about it.“ You tease and Joel rotates his chair so he’s facing you. You stand in-between his legs as he holds your hips, massaging the soft flesh. “Also planned. I know how impatient you can be.“ He smirks and you gasp, slowly sitting down on his lap. “That´s torture!“ You hold onto his neck for support and Joel bounces his knee, urging you to inch closer. “It will be worth it.“ He nuzzles his head into the crook of your neck and starts placing kisses along your veins. “You´re getting my exceptions up.“ You say laughing while squirming away from his wet kisses. “Are you implying that its not enough that I made it? With love?“ He gives you puppy eyes and you push him away, standing up and grabbing your mug. “That´s always enough. I´m outside at the porch if you want to join.“ You turn around and Joel hums, turning his chair as well to continue his work. “I´ll come soon.“ 

You sit outside and inhale the cold winter air, legs crossed and arms leaned on the table as you continue to embroider a jacket you found some time ago. You hum a soft tune and are very cautious not to poke your thumb with the needle. Your tea is long finished and your body is getting more and more heavy when Joel joins you. “Evening madam.“ He lifts his imaginary hat and you look up, piercing the needle into your fingertip. “Ow!“ You drop the jacket and hold onto your thumb, glaring at Joel. “You scared me!“ You rub the irritated fingertip and Joel chuckles, sitting down across from you and picking up his guitar. “Sorry babe.“ He softly smiles at you and you put your stuff together, extending your arms. “Let me play, I’ve been practicing.“ “sure your thumb can take it?“ Joel teases and you roll your eyes, hiding a smile when he hands his precious guitar over to you. “If I continue to get better, I´m gonna need my own soon.“ You brag as you rest the painted wood on your lap. “convince me.“ Joel leans back in his chair and crosses his arms, eyes fixed on you. “I will.“ You bite your lip and look down, preparing to grab your chords when you already strum a side and a crooked sound escapes. “ups.“ You laugh nervously and wipe your sweaty hands on your jeans before trying again. “but I´m not singing.“ You briefly look at Joel and start playing the song he played you at your first evening together. “Not bad.“ Joel smiles proudly and you start bouncing your feet to the music, concentrating on pulling the right strings. “I´m still wobbly with this part, my fingers can´t spread that far.“ You frown and stop playing, but Joel stands up and simply stands behind you, grabbing your hands and placing his fingers over yours. “Let me help you.“ His hot breath tickles your ear and you watch as he presses your fingers back onto the neck of the guitar, changing the position for your index and ring finger. “Now try.“ He whispers and you strum the sides, beaming when it sounds right. “See, you can do it.“ He kisses your temple and you drop the guitar next to your chair, leaning to the right and quickly pulling Joel down to kiss you. “Thanks love.“ You mumble against his lips while he pushes his tongue past yours. His beard scratches against your cold face and you grab his cheeks, feeling the stubble itch in your palm. “Wanna go to bed?“ He pulls away and you nod, out of breath and with flushed cheeks. “I feel like an ice cube.“ You shiver as you get up and Joel laughs while grabbing his guitar, opening the door for you and stepping inside after you. “You know, once patrol is done, I have a little surprise for you.“ He cheekily kisses your neck and you squirm to the side, almost tripping on the steps. “Another one?“ You ask gasping. “I promised you a proper date, didn’t I?“ Joel pinches your sides and you grab his hands, pulling him up with you. “I thought you forgot.“ You happily look over your shoulder and Joel chuckles. “I didn´t. Just took me a while to find everything I need for it.“ He shrugs his shoulders and slips past you as he makes a line to the bathroom, you going into your bedroom to change. You lay in bed and wait for him, eyes wide open and staring at the small lamp in the corner. “Can I guess?“ You ask as soon as Joel returns and lays down next to you. He smells like soap and toothpaste and you instantly snuggle closer, head laying on his chest while your arm wraps around his torso. “No. I won´t budge.“ Joel closes his eyes and blindly switches the light off, trapping you in his arms afterwards. “Not even a little bit?“ You mindlessly play with Joels shirt and feel his chest rumble with laughter, before rising and sinking slowly again. “Go to sleep babe, you need to rest.“ He kisses your hairline and you huff, laying your hand flat on his stomach and finally closing your eyes. “You´re a tease.“ “You love me because of that, don’t deny it.“ Joel gently massages your back and you sigh. “Yeah I do.“ 

“Joel? Y/N?“ Loud banging on your door wakes you up and you groan, instantly covering your face with a pillow. “What time is it?“ You mumble sleepily as you roll over, not meeting any resistance. You frown and open your eyes, pillow slowly sliding down your face. “Joel?“ You reach out with your hand but it lands on an empty mattress, and you lean over his side to turn on the light. He´s nowhere to be seen, so you quickly get up and rub your eyes to get the sleep out of them. “I´m coming!“ You shout to the impatient visitor, its hamming against your door not slowing down. “One sec.“ You tiredly fumble with the lock and curse at the coldness on your naked feet. Now in front of you stands Tommy, fully dressed and with a rifle hanging over his shoulder. “Tommy?“ You ask confused, voice raspy from just waking up. The sun barely started to rise and the sky is still painted in darkish colors, making you wrap your arms around yourself. “Can I come in?“ Tommy cranes his neck to look past you and you nod, moving to make space for him. “Of course.“ You close the door after him and wrap your robes tighter around your body, feeling slightly exposed in your shorts and shirt. “Where´s Joel?“ Tommy asks as he rests his rifle on top of your dining table. You shrug your shoulders and open your mouth to say something, but another voice cuts you off. “I´m here.“ Joel comes walking down the steps, clothes covered in dust and wood splinters. “Maria is sending us out, the weather cleared up faster than expected. We´re meeting in one hour at the east gate.“ Tommy looks between you and Joel and an uneasy feeling settles in your stomach. “I thought we’d wait a couple days.“ You furrow your eyebrows and a  deep wrinkle forms on your forehead. “Change of plans.“ Tommy shrugs and Joel sighs, a deep hum coming from his throat. “One hour?“ He asks. Tommy nods and moves to leave again, grabbing his rifle and scratching it over the waxed surface. “I got to go and tell the others.“ He leaves without another word and you stand on your spot, arms hanging from your sides and body too tired to move. “That´s a bummer.“ You mumble as you rub your temple, Joel skipping down the steps and walking over to you. “Let´s get this over with. When we come back you’ll get your surprise.“ Joel wraps his arms around your neck and pulls you into a hug, your own arms winding around his waist. “You finished?“ You mumble against his chest, inhaling the strong scent of soap and dusty wood. “That´s why I got up early.“ He clears his throat and you look up, the tiniest smile forming on your lips. “You didn’t have to do that.“ You kiss the skin within your reach and Joel laughs softly, slowly loosening his grip on you. “I know, but I wanted to.“ His hands skim down to your back and sides, quickly slipping under your clothes and brushing over the naked skin. You shiver and straighten your shoulders, looking deeply into his eyes. “You and Tommy will be fine, right?“ You ask, voice dripping with worry. “of course, always are.“ Joel leans down and kisses you softly, no tongues, just lips moving in sync with each other. “Don´t worry baby, or you’ll get me worried again.“ Joel jokes to lighten the mood and you chuckle, kissing him one last time before pulling away. “Sorry, I’ll stop.“ You giggle when he attacks your cheek and jaw with kisses and his stubble brings your skin to life. It prickles and burns slightly at the same time, a sensation you’ve grown to love. “Joel you’re distracting me.“ You weakly push your hands against his chest and he pulls away, a smirk on his tired face. “Good.“ He is about to dip down again when you turn your head and make his lips land on your neck, gasping when you feel his teeth gazing your flesh. “I´m serious.“ You say with a giggle, grasping onto his bicep for support as your knees become wobbly. 

“We need to get ready.“ You breathe into his ear and Joel nods, teeth slowly sinking into the crook of your neck, surely leaving a mark. “I know.“ He calms the flesh with a kiss and pulls away, biting the inside of his cheek at your flushed expression. “You´re the death of me.“ You mumble with a weak smile and Joel retreats from you, slowly turning to walk into the kitchen and make breakfast. “If that is all.“ He winks and you shake your head laughing, walking up the stairs to get ready for the day. When you come down again, Joel is already sitting at the table and cuts some bread, mindlessly humming a tune you never heard him sing before. You creep up behind him and quickly kiss the back of his head before joining him on the table, giving your grumbling stomach the food he so desperately grumbles for. You barely get to clean your plates afterwards, when Joel places your backpack on the table with a heavy thud and calls out for you. “Y/N we have to go.“ He slides his own backpack on and you open the drain, letting the soapy water wash down and wiping your wet hands on a towel. “I´m coming!“ You quickly place Joels mug next to the sink to clean it later and join him in the dining room, grabbing your rifle and knife before putting on your jacket and backpack. “Can´t say I missed this.“ You groan as the strings sink into your shoulders, the weight of the weapons and your first aid kit heavy on your back. “You carrying stones in there or something?“ Joel asks with a half smile, handing you a pair of gloves you happily slide your hands into.“No, just the necessities.“ You step out of the comfort of your home and breathe in the cold ear, the munching of boots against snow ringing in your ears. “Alright.“ Joel sighs next to you, grabbing your hand and intertwining your fingers. You look at him in disbelief, as its something he’s never done out in public before, but he looks straight ahead and starts walking. “Don´t look so surprised.“ He says bluntly as you keep staring at your intertwined hands while walking. “I´m not suprised, just happy.“ You respond instantly, holding his hand tighter and walking so close to him that your shoulders occasionally brush. “When this is all over-“You start, waving your free hand in front of your face. “How about we go into a museum? Ellie told me you showed her one with dinosaurs and space. I´d like to see it too.“ You look to the side to read any emotion in Joels face. He briefly looks at you and nods. “Sure, I think you’ll like it there.“ “Did you go to museums often? Before the outbreak, I mean.“ You ask casually, enjoying the conversation more than silence. “Yeah, you can bet Sarah made me go into every damn museum in our country. She loved them.“ He smiles sadly and you nod, comprehending what he just said. “Did you enjoy them, too?“ You ask after some time. “Some more than others.“ He looks at you with a crooked smile and licks his lips, the cold drying them out. “I´m more the movie guy.“ He adds after some thinking. You bite back a laugh and bite your tongue. “I haven´t noticed.“ You joke, implying on the endless nights you spent on the couch with some 80´s movie running in the background. You know Joel loves them, Ellie told you that long before Joel and you were even a thing. “I can´t help it I’m a guy with decent taste.“ He laughs and you rest your head against his shoulder, your temple brushing up and down with each step. “We´re almost there.“ You blurt out as you spot the others in the distance, horses already prepared and ready to get picked up. “I know.“ Joel stops and cups your cheek, making you look up at him. Your breaths mingle in the cold and you stare into his eyes, trying to simply take all of him in. “I love you.“ Joel whispers and dips his head down, meeting your lips in a sweet kiss. “I love you.“ You say back, swallowing down the anxious feeling in your chest and hugging Joel close. After some seconds of just standing there and sharing intimate kisses, you pull away and grab his hand again. “Let´s meet the others, it looks like they’re already waiting for us.“ 

——————-

Sorry for the wait, but I’m only now starting to feel better. I´m busying myself with writing tho, so the next chapter shouldn’t take too long :) we´re slowly coming to an end y´all, I´m not ready.. 

[tlou2holland]

Sorry for the lack of posting but I’m really sick rn and can’t write any new chapters. But I will do so as soon as I’m healthy again! I‘m slightly better already so I hope to publish a new chapter next week :)

[tlou2holland]

Joel x reader ( Pt 8 )

Summary: Dina and Ellie come over for a movie night

warnings: none, slight cursing 

You can read the previous parts here 

To say the following weeks have been stressful, is an understatement. You packed all your stuff, realizing its more than originally calculated. Joel pulled a muscle in his back while helping you and couldn’t move properly for at least a week. Dina and Ellie messed with your stuff and laughed at your secret stuffed animal collection that now wasn’t so secret anymore. Maria and Tommy came over for dinner as soon as Joels home became your home too, and you had to cook for someone else for the first time in your life. You burnt your finger and poured way too much salt onto the meat, making it almost uneatable. Nevertheless, you loved every minute of your new life. Not that everything drastically changed, but you found yourself getting used to sleeping next to someone that snores and almost crushes you in their sleep. You came to like the lazy mornings in bed, and late evenings on the porch. You don´t mind sharing your private space with someone else, and miss Joel terribly when he’s not around. You never thought you’d be able to say this, growing up in a literal apocalypse, but you settled down. Found a place to feel safe and comfortable and a person to call your home. Is this how people used to live before everything went to shit? You wonder. 

Tonight would be another night were you’d experience what a normal life used to be like. Ellie and Dina are coming over for a movie night, and you watch Joel as he excitedly prepares some snacks. It’s been months since Ellie actually talked to Joel more than she’s been forced to, but she slowly starts to come around again. You think it’s because of Dina, she has a positive impact on Ellie. Now that the two are officially together as well, life in Jackson almost seems cliché like. So much happiness feels too good to be true. “What got you smiling like that?“ Joel nudges you with your hip and you turn to look at him, dropping the knife in your hand. “Nothing in particular.“ You hand him a piece of the carrot you’ve been cutting and eat one yourself. “It´s the first time you’re hanging out with Dina, right?“ You ask, swinging your carrot in front of Joels face. He chuckles and eats the piece you gave him, sliding a bowl over to you. “Yeah, I mean she’s not my friend. A bit too young for that.“ Joel gives you a funny look and you scratch the carrots from your cutting board into the bowl. “It´s like a double date.“ You giggle and clean the knife with some water. “A weird double date, but still.“ Joel rolls his eyes at you and carries the snacks into the living room, his boots clinging against the hardwood floor. “Don´t remind me.“ He grumbles but you barely hear him. After you finish cleaning up, you join him in the living room and adjust some pictures on the shelves. Joel found an old polaroid a couple of weeks ago and it was still working, so you took pictures with your loved ones and framed them to decorate your home. The one with Ellie, Dina and Jesse you like the most. You are all sitting on the bench, Jesse´s arm around your shoulder while Dina gives Ellie and you bunny ears with her fingers. You smile into the camera and even Ellie laughs, showing off her white teeth. You have more pictures upstairs, private ones, and bite your lip as you think about them. Joel made you pose in your prettiest underwear, sprawled out on your bed, hands reaching towards the camera with a big grin on your face. You were embarrassed at first, but Joel loves the picture and keeps it with him at all times. He said it’s his little reminder of you for when he’s gone on patrol, and you couldn’t help it but laugh at that. You took pictures of him as well, tho. You like the one where he sits on the porch, guitar on his lap and a steaming mug next to him. He was so lost in his playing that he didn’t even realize you took a picture until he saw the bright flash. Another one was taken when you and Joel where cooking together. Tommy visited you two and secretly snapped the picture when Joel was hugging you from behind, a huge smile on both of your faces. “You´re not moving them around again, are you?“ Joels gruff voice pulls you out of your thoughts and you look at him confused. “Huh?“ Your hands fall next to your sides and Joel nods his head towards the frames. “You moved them around at least fife times. You still don’t like the way they look?“ He leans himself against the staircase railing, arms crossed. “Oh no, I was just looking at them.“ You step away from the shelves and push past him to go upstairs. “You should change as well.“ You say over your shoulder as you feel Joels eyes on you. “What´s wrong with what I’m wearing?“ He follows you and swats your bum, making you climb the steps faster. “Your shirt smells, old man.“ You jokingly pull a face and Joel grabs you from behind, trapping you in his arms. “Joel!“ You grab onto the railing and try to break free but Joel simply turns you around and holds your face against his chest. “mmh you smell that?“ He asks, chest vibrating with every word. You scream with laughter and wiggle in his grip, hair getting static from all the friction. “Eww you’re disgusting!“  You tickle his sides to make him let go of you, and dodge out of his arms when he goes to hold his sides. “I just wanted to give you some love, baby.“ He opens his arms for you but you quickly walk into your shared bedroom, shaking your head. “Nah-ah. You can give me love after you put a clean shirt on.“ You pull your own sweater over your head and change into a new one that still smells strongly of soap. “I´ll take you by your word.“ Joel picks your old sweater up from the floor and puts it into the bathtub along with his shirt. A small pile has collected and you groan when you think about having to wash it tomorrow. “Is this smelling alright for you?“ Joel throws his green shirt at you and you fist the material in your hands. “this will do.“ You walk up to him and rest your hands against his chest, briefly playing with the hairs there before leaning up on your toes and kissing him. “and now get ready, we don’t want Ellie and Dina walking in on that, do we?“ Your hand wanders down Joels stomach and he exhales at your touch. “Yes ma´am.“ He quickly pecks your lips and you walk down again, lazily playing with the strings of your hoodie. You look outside and see a thick layer of snow covering the ground, new flakes falling down at a rapid speed. Thinking about all the winters you had to spend outside without a proper roof under your head, you shiver and wrap your arms around yourself. “You don´t hear them knocking?“ Joel skips past you and you break out of your haze, following him to the door. Dina and Ellie come inside, stomping their shoes against the threshold to keep the snow outside. You quickly shut the door behind them to keep the cold air out, and take their jackets to hang them onto your wardrobe. “Next time you’re coming to one of us, outside its fucking cold.“ Dina shakes her arms and Ellie rubs her hands together, blowing into them. “Don´t worry, we have some blankets for you.“ You wave your hand and guide them to the living room, Joel following closely behind. You point to the couch and hold your hands in front of you. “Sit, I’ll get you something to drink.“ You gesture to the empty seats and are about to turn around when Joel kisses your temple. “Sit with them, I’ll get the drinks.“ Ellie awkwardly watches the interaction and loudly plumps down onto the cushions. Dina giggles and sits down next to her, quickly covering the both of them with a blanket and looking at you. “Thank you.“ You smile at Joel and take a seat at the other couch, feet moving to rest on the coffee table in front of you. “help yourselves.“ You gesture to the snacks and Dina sequels when she spots the cookies you made. “God it’s been ages since I last had cookies!“ She reaches into the bowl and gets two, handing one to Ellie. You laugh at your friends eagerness and take one yourself, liking how sweet they taste. “You still like hot cocoa?“ Joel returns from the kitchen and holds four steaming mugs in his hands, talking to Ellie. Her eyes widen and she takes one from Joel. “Shit Joel, where’d you get that?“ She sniffs at the liquid and watches Joel as he gives another mug to Dina and you. “Well, there’s this store on our new patrol route. They still had the powder. It’s long expired, but powder can’t get bad right?“ He takes a sip and curses slightly when he burns the tip of his tongue. You stifle a laugh and blow on it before drinking from your mug, licking your lips afterwards. “You know when I last had this?“ Ellie raises her mug and shakes her head. “It´s been years, I don’t care if its expired or not.“ Ellie shyly looks at Joel and he clears his throat. “I´m glad that you like it.“ Joel presses his lips together and you happily cuddle into his side, throwing a blanket over the two of you. “What movie are we watching?“ Dina rests her head against Ellies shoulder and Joel stares at Ellie and her blushed cheeks, so you elbow him. “Curtis and Viper 4.“ You push yourself away from Joel to grab the remote and turn the TV on. “Sounds old.“ Dina laughs and Ellie lowers her mug from her lips. “It´s Joels favorite.“ She looks at him and gives him a crooked smile. “I like it, too.“ She shrugs her shoulders and you feel Joel tense next to you, trying to hide a smile. “You have no other choice, given how many times I made you watch that.“ Joel wraps his arm around your shoulder and you gently pat his leg under the blanket, happy for him that he can talk to Ellie without it being tensed. “You read savage starlight, I’d say we’re quit.“ Ellie mumbles, quickly eating another cookie to end the conversation. Joel nods and takes the remote from your hands, starting the movie and holding you tight against his side. It feels weird to cuddle Joel in front of others, but on the other side it also feels normal, just a bit foreign. Dina can´t stop staring at you two, and you have to throw some carrots at her to stop her from eying you the whole time. Even Ellie casts a look at you two from time to time, but looks away every time Joels eyes meet hers. „I quite like this.“ You mumble against Joels chest as he starts playing with your hair. “Me too.“ He keeps his eyes directed to the screen and silently mouthes the lines from time to time, thinking you won’t notice. 

The movie goes on for what feels like forever, and when its over, Dina and Ellie are softly snoring on the sofa next to you. You nudge Joel and turn off the Tv, lazily stretching yourself. “Should we let them sleep?“ You whisper. Joel looks at Ellie and collects another blanket, standing up and softly laying it over her. You never heard him walk this quiet before and hold onto your chest, a smile evident on your face. “They had patrol this morning, let them rest.“ Joel grabs the mugs and winces when they bump into each other and make noise. Dina simply scratches her nose and mumbles something inaudible, leaning more against Ellie. You grab the bowls from the table and put the contents into a container to keep them fresh before walking up the stairs with Joel. “When was the last time you slept under the same roof with three women?“ You joke, stifling a yawn with your hand. “It´s the first time I will be sleeping while three women are under my roof.“ Joel teases back, and you look at him with wide eyes. “I´m joking baby.“ Joel laughs at your shocked impression and lays an arm around you. You quiet down his laughing by kissing him, tasting chocolate and cookies on his tongue. “You better be.“ You peel yourself away from him and get ready for bed, sighing heavily when your body connects with the mattress. Joel grunts and lays down next to you, bed squeaking under his weight. You lay on your side and open your arm, inviting Joel to snuggle closer. He rests his head on your pillow and hugs you close, your own arms wrapping around his neck. “Maybe they’ll come around more often.“ You mumble as you stroke Joels thick hair. He closes his eyes and draws small patterns on your back. “I ain´t complaining, house is big enough.“ His hot breath fans your chest and you scratch his neck, nails grazing over the skin. “You´re not going to ask them to move in as well, are you?“ You close your eyes and hear Joel chuckle beneath you. “Don´t worry, you won’t have to share me with anyone else.“ He pinches your side and you swat his hand away with a giggle. “Good, you don’t want to see me jealous.“ “Oh I think I’d might like that.“ Joel bites the exposed flesh of your collarbone and you gasp, hands moving to push him away. “Stop it.“ You give him a warning look but he can’t see your face in the dark, continuing to roam his hands over your body. A shiver erupts along your spine as his hands move under your shirt and towards your breasts, brushing over the sensitive flesh. “you really want me to stop?“ His breath hits your ear and he attacks your jaw with kisses, moving down to your sweet spot. “We have Ellie and Dina downstairs.“ You say weakly, hands stopping to push him away and resting on his shoulders instead. “You have to stay quiet, then.“ “Joel.“ Your voice is raspy and you finally find the self-control to grab his hands and keep them trapped in yours. “No funny business tonight.“ You say in a stern voice, although your smile says otherwise. “Fine.“ Joel sighs and pulls his hands out of your hold, dramatically turning around, his back facing you. “Oh come on.“ You giggle and snuggle closer, hugging him from behind. Joel reaches for your hand and pulls your arm under his, keeping your hand close to his chest. You lean your face against his strong shoulder and kiss his shirtless form, feeling how warm his skin is against your lips. “Good night, baby.“ He kisses your hand in return and you tangle your legs with his, warming your cold feet on his warm ones. “Good night.“  

 Your sleep doesn’t last long. A gentle kiss to your forehead wakes you up, and you open your eyes. Outside its still dark and the only lightning is coming from downstairs, together with hushed voices. “Tommy and I have to clean some infected areas, Maria wants us to do it before you guys go on patrol.“ Joels voice is still groggy from the lack of using it overnight, and you sit up, covers sliding to your hip. “You have to leave now?“ You ask tiredly, rubbing sleep from your eyes. Joel nods and you realize he’s already dressed, jacket and backpack laying by the end of the bed. “Be careful, okay?“ You cup his cheek and pull him down for a kiss, lips lazily moving against his. He pulls away and gets up to strip on his jacket. “Always.“ He pulls the covers back over your sleeping form and you watch him leave, before dozing off for some more minutes. Sleep won’t come back, you’re too worried for that. So you get up after some tossing and turning, and decide to start your day. Dina and Ellie have already left, probably awoken by Tommy or Joel. You eat breakfast in silence and clean a bit afterwards, washing the dreaded laundry and hanging it all around the house to dry. After you got ready yourself, you prepare your backpack and make your way over to the butcher where you’d meet Jesse. You’re assigned for patrol this late morning, and he’s your partner. You already see his slender form leaning against a wooden pole, chatting away with Marcus. You sigh and approach the two, boots sinking into the snow. “Morning guys.“ You awkwardly wave at them and dodge Marcus gaze. “You´re early for once.“ Jesse teases and salutes at you, while Marcus looks anywhere but to you. “Well, eh-“He scratches his neck and slowly backs away, fingers pointing over his shoulder. “I´ll get going, I´m needed somewhere else.“ He quickly bits goodbye to Jesse and stumbles down the few stairs, hurrying along the streets towards god knows where. Jesse looks at you and raises an eyebrow. “Did he ever apologize to you?“ Jesse asks. You nod and slip your gloves on, breath thick like a cloud in front of your face. “Once, but he couldn’t even look me in the eye. I don´t mind tho, I know it was an accident. It’s Joel he needs to apologize to.“ “Yeah that’s never going to happen.“ Jesse shakes his head and you chuckle, following him towards the gate. “I know, Joel won’t apologize for pushing him either. He´s one hell of a stubborn man.“ You kick some snow from your feet and Jesse shrugs his shoulders. “He´s not the only stubborn person here.“ Jesse gives you a look and you roll your eyes. “Oh cause you’re so much better.“ You laugh and shove Jesse further away from you, his chuckle ringing in your eyes. “I´m just saying, you’re almost as stubborn as Dina. And that means something.“ He points his finger at you and you ignore his comment, changing the topic. “Why did Maria sent Tommy and Joel on an early patrol? Isn´t it way more dangerous?“ You frown and Jesse rests his hands on his hips, stopping at the east gate. “There´s been a lot of infected sightings lately, Maria simply wants them to clear the path for us. They’re experienced and can take a look at how bad the situation really is. Don´t worry, they’ll be fine.“ He briefly looks at you as you guys wait for your horses. “You better be right, I don’t want to become a widow.“ You mumble gloomily. “Don´t you guys need to be married for that, first?“ Jesse jokes and you shoot him a glare. “Not funny.“ You gladly take the reins from the stables boy and greet your horse with a quick pet when they approach. Your legs feel stiff as you swing yourself on top and get seated into the saddle. Jesse does the same and gestures for the security people to open the gate. “We´ll be fine, the same goes for Tommy and Joel.“ With that his horse picks up speed and runs over the snowy fields, you following close behind. You cringe at the cold wind clapping against your face and pull the hood of your sweater over your head to keep your ears from freezing off. “You know where we’re going?“ You shout over the loud whistling of wind. “Yeah, just follow me!“ Jesse guides you through some abandoned villages and to the next lookout, hidden inside an old tower. You breathe out relieved, happy that no infected crossed your path so far. You bind your horses onto a pole and climb up the rusty ladder to get inside. “Here, look around for any infected while I write our names into the book.“ Jesse hands you field glasses and you position yourself in front of the big window, overlooking the small town. “I see nothing.“ You state as you scan the area, spotting nothing of danger or matter. “You checked the woods too?“ Jesse asks as he scribbles something into the book, probably that your lookout was still safe and nothing ordinary happened. “Yeah, no lights, no infected. Nothing.“ You lower the glasses and hand them to Jesse when he walks over to you. “Hmm, we should keep looking for a bit. Maria said a horde was spotted here some days ago.“ “A horde?“ You shiver at the thought of having dozens of infected roaming through the woods. “Yeah, they’re inside some buildings. We need to clean them on the next group patrol.“ “Jeeze.“ You cross your arms in front of your chest and step back, watching Jesse from behind. “Yeah, it’s going to be interesting for sure.“ Jesse stops looking around and puts the glasses back onto the old tray he got them from. “The weather is changing for the worst, let´s head back, Joel and Tommy should also be on their way. We can prepare everything for the next patrol and pick our team.“ Jesse slides the backpack onto his shoulders and you grab yours, blowing a last puff of hot air into your palms before following him. “I can´t wait.“ You say sarcastically, climbing back onto your horse and making your way back to Jackson. Today’s patrol was unspectacular and quick, and you are grateful for it. Next patrol will be hard enough… 

[tlou2holland]

Do you think Joel would be into daddy kink? Because he really is 😩🥺🤤

I honestly don’t think he would.. I mean, his daughter died and I’m sure calling him daddy brings up painful memories, especially in that context it could be a major turn off.. but if his partner likes it, I’m sure he’d be willing to try

[tlou2holland]

Oh my! The seven part fanfic with Joel is just..🥺🥺🥺. I love it so much! Thank you so much for giving us this after the horrible events of tlou2. Joel is so sweet and passionate. I really cant wait for you to write more. Definitely in love 🥰.

Thank you so much🥺🥺I love reading your responses and thoughts on my story🥰 I think we all need some comforting after what happened with Joel in tlou2.. I’m currently writing the next chapter so there’s more fluff to come!

[tlou2holland]

Joel x reader ( Pt 7 )

summary: Joel and Y/N take their relationship to the next level

warnings: cursing and smut 

you can read the previous chapters here 

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me you fuck Joel.“ Ellie mumbles, rubbing her temples while you blush furiously. “I wanted to tell you! Just didn’t know how I guess.“ You run a hand through your hair and Ellie simply looks at you, Dina giggling next to her. “You owe me a comic.“ Dina nudges Ellie with her elbow and she scoffs. “I know.“ “Wait, you guys had a bet?“ You ask confused. Your friends just laugh and you slowly relax on the bed, knowing they’re not angry with you. “It was Jesse´s idea. Ellie almost won, but you couldn’t wait another month to fall in love with Joel, soo-“ Dina bites her lip with a huge smile and even Ellie chuckles, although she looks slightly uncomfortable. You can’t blame her, you wouldn’t want to see your father figure kissing your friend, either. “I´m sorry for not telling you guys sooner, Joel and I wanted to wait until we’re sure things will work out. And we didn’t really know how you would take it.“ You shyly look over to Ellie and she clears her throat. “It kinda weirds me out that Joel and you are a thing, I mean, Joel is a dinosaur and you’re my friend. But its fine, I’d rather see him with you than anyone else.“ She shrugs her shoulders and Dina scoffs, rolling her eyes. “It’s not really a surprise, anyways. You´ve been crushing on him for months, it was awfully painful to watch.“ Dina fake winces and you slap her knee, laying down on your stomach afterwards. “Ha ha. Very funny.“ You bite back a smile and Ellie slides a bit lower, resting her back against the headboard of the bed while laying her arm behind Dina. Dina notices and scoots closer, leaning into Ellie. She nudges you with her foot and you watch your friends from the end of the bed, legs dangling in the air. “But please don’t kiss Joel in front of me. I can´t even imagine-“ Ellie shudders and you groan, fisting the sheets in your palm. “Don´t worry, we-“ “Oh Ellie, they’ve done a lot worse.“ Dina interrupts you and teasingly wiggles her eyebrows, finding the blush on your cheeks quite amusing. “Pictures out of my head!“ Ellie scrunches her nose in disgust and you hide your face behind your hands. “You suck, Dina.“ You mumble, earning a kick from her. “Hey!“ You protest, pushing her feet away from you. “You, my dear friend-“She begins while batting her long lashes at you, “can call yourself lucky that we’re teasing you, instead of being mad at you for lying to us. You own us a shit ton of gossip! Like, Joel and you?? Finally something exciting happens here.“ Dina throws her head back and Ellie chuckles at the hard impact on her shoulder, sneakily resting her hand on Dina´s arm. “I don´t think Ellie wants to hear my gossip about Joel. It’s mature content.“ You laugh and bite your fingertip, feeling the heat creep up your face. Ellie fake gags and holds her hand up. “Stop! I really don’t want to know anything sexual about Joel. You can keep your dirty gossip to yourself.“ Dina grabs Ellies thigh and shakes it slightly, missing out on Ellies flushed expression. “Oh come on, Joel is a grown man and Y/N´s old enough too. It’s only natural.“ You look at Dina and nudge her foot to make her shut up. “Can we talk about something other than my sexlife?“ You plead, Ellie sharing your distressed look. “Yes, please.“ She says, pinching Dinas arm and making her gasp. “What was that for?“ She asks, looking up to Ellie. Their eyes meet and you smile, seeing the way they look at each other. “for making Y/N and me uncomfortable!“ Ellie laughs and Dina smirks, teasingly running her hand over Ellies thigh. Ellie tenses and you look away, feeling the tension between them. “I´m good at making people uncomfortable.“ Dina lowers her voice and you cough, squirming on the bed. “you´re right about that.“ You say, pulling the two out of their little moment. Ellie audibly exhales and Dina snuggles more into Ellies side, waving her hand in front of her. “not my problem all my friends are prudes.“ She jokes, and you rest your chin onto your palm. “At least you have friends.“ Ellie laughs at that and you join, feeling a weight lift off your chest. You’re damn lucky Dina and especially Ellie aren’t mad at you, it could have gone a lot worse.

“My options are kinda limited, but you guys are alright.“ Dina makes a face and grabs the remote from her nightstand. “And now let’s watch the movie, before Y/N gets lovesick and leaves us for Joel.“ She turns on the TV and you shut her up by throwing your only pillow at her, turning onto your side afterwards. The intro of some 80´s movie Ellie wanted to see begins to play, and you nuzzle your head onto her lower leg, ready for the movie night to begin. 

“She´s not mad?“ Joel asks surprised when you visit him the next day. You shake your head, tiredly rubbing your eyes. You didn’t sleep much, thanks to Ellie and her love for old movies. Instead of watching one movie and going home afterwards, you stayed awake till dawn and slept only some hours. “No, sure she finds the thought of us together weird, but she’s accepting.“ You yawn and rest your back against the chair, closing your eyes as a gust of wind whistles by. Joel sits next to you, strumming away on his guitar while you enjoy the little sun that is out on his porch. “You stayed over?“ He bops his head with each chord he plays and you squint an eye at him, catching his relaxed expression. “Yeah, Ellie made us watch her favorite movies. Some pretty old stuff.“ You laugh and Joel puts his guitar down, a glimmer in his eyes. “Movies from the 80´s?“ He looks at you, and you tilt your head as you eye him up and down. His hair starts to grow over the tip of his ears and his forehead lays in thin wrinkles. “Yeah, she’s obsessed with them. Do you like them, too?“ You reach out and push some hair out of Joels face, making him chuckle. “Ellie and I used to watch them together back to when she was still living in my backyard.“ Joel gestures behind his house and you frown. “Why did you guys stop?“ Joel heavily exhales at your question and briefly looks into your eyes. “Thats a long story.“ Joel doesn’t meet your gaze and you take his face into your hands, leaning forward to softly kiss him on the lips. “I am here if you ever want to tell me.“ He‘s unsere how to respond to that, you can tell. But his mouth opens and the words start flowing out, even the smallest detail finally lifting from Joel’s haunted heart. He tells you everything. How he met Marlene and why  she asked him to bring Ellie to the fireflies, to make a vaccine against the virus. How his girlfriend back then sacrificed herself after being bitten, and how he and Ellie started to become an inseparable team. You couldn’t believe what Joel was telling you. Ellie is immune? There would have been a cure and a way out of his hellhole? “And when Ellie and I made it to the fireflies, and Marlene told me Ellie had to die, I just couldn’t let it happen.“ Joel runs a hand over his face and you listen, hand holding onto his knee. “I did what I had to do to get her out.“ Joels gaze hardens and he looks at you, face stern and mouth pressed tightly together. “I told her there is no cure, and her immunity isn’t of any use. That there are dozens like her, and they stopped looking for a vaccine.“ Joel swallows and you open your mouth, heart heavy with feelings you can’t express. It just sounds unreal. This terrible world is all you’ve known, and your friend could have been the key to end it all. “Oh Joel.“ You whisper, grabbing his hand when you see his shaking fingers. “She found out that I lied to her. Said she’s done with me.“ Joel clears his throat and looks into the distance, lip quivering dangerously. “I would have done the same.“ You say, mind slowly starting to work again. “Safe Ellie, I mean. Or you, doesn’t matter. I wouldn´t want to live without either of you, even if all of this would have come to an end.“ You gesture to the guarded fences and watchtowers, and the dangers that lay behind these walls. “So I understand.“ This makes Joel finally look at you, and you swear you see a tear running down his cheek but he’s quick to wipe it away. “I told Ellie the same. She came to me a couple weeks ago, said she doesn’t know if she can ever forgive me for that.“ Joel chuckles dryly and mindlessly traces the back of your hand with his thumb. “But she said that she likes to try.“ Joels voice breaks and you leap out of your seat, wrapping him into a bone crashing hug. His arms wind around your waist as you sit on his lap and kiss his forehead, leaning your cheek against it afterwards. “She will come around, you guys share a past. I´m sure she would have done the same for you.“ You brush over his back and he rests his head into the crook of your neck, his hot breath fanning over your cleavage. “I understand that she can’t forgive me for that. She’s right, I knew what she wanted and took that from her. But I would do it all over again if I had to.“ Joel breathes heavily and you nod, wrapping your arms around his neck. “The things we do for love.“ You mumble, staring blankly into the distance. “The only other person who knows are Tommy and Maria.“ Joels voice is so quiet, unusual to his otherwise rough and deep way of speaking. You peel yourself away from him and tilt his head upwards to make him look at you. “I won´t tell anyone. Never.“ You lean down and capture your lips in a kiss, tasting coffee and simply him. He grunts and grabs your thighs harder, knuckles turning red from the cold. He doesn’t want to think about Ellie anymore, as it saddens him, and focuses on you instead. “Let´s go inside.“ He whispers, so that’s what you do. You grab his hand and pull him up, into the living room where you sit down and guide him to the empty space next to you. You push him deeper into cushions and keep a tight hold on his shoulders while you rest your legs on either side of his hip, sitting down on his crotch. “I wouldn´t want to miss you for the world.“ You whisper as you kiss the spot below his ear, hands messing up his unruly hair even further. Joel shivers under your touch and grabs your hips, breathing shakily into your ear. You feel his body tense and stop, paying attention to his face and running your fingertips over his wrinkles. “Let me show you how much you mean to me.“ With that you properly sit on his lap and grind back, feeling the rough friction of his jeans against your own clothes. Joels eyes flutter shut and his mouth opens slightly, a deep grumble coming from his throat. You cup his jaw and kiss him, tongue lazily licking his bottom lip and teasing the inside of his mouth. You want to distract him and make him happy, to truly make him understand that you’re there for him. You feel his hands creep up under your jacket and mirror his actions, hands opening the zipper of his jacket and peeling the fabric from his broad shoulders. Joel eagerly leans forward and removes his jacket, holding onto your lower back while he attacks your collarbones with kisses. His fingers move to your front and undo your jacket, joining his on the floor. You giggle and lean into him, pulling on his hair when he bites your sensitive flesh. “Joel-“You breathe out, grinding against him once more. “This is about you, not me.“ You remind him when you see his dark eyes and pink lips. He stops and looks at you, hand coming up to brush over the back of your neck. “making you feel good makes me feel good.“ He tries to connect your lips with his, but you turn your head and his lips land on your cheek instead. “just let me.“ You peck his lips when he frowns and slowly move to the side, exploring the harsh hairs of his beard while you kiss his jaw and neck, fingers quickly working on the buttons of his jeans. Joel starts sweating slightly and you remove his shirt, fingernails grazing the warm skin of his chest. You feel him grow beneath you and throw your head back, supporting one hand on his knee while you rock yourself back and forth on his crotch, sighing when his lips suck on your neck and dip deeper to the rim of your blouse. You quickly lift your arms and undress yourself, shivering when Joels breath meets the valley of your breasts. He carefully pushes the fabric of your bra down and kisses the soft flesh, humming when you press into him. You stop your movements and let him kiss your chest, hands flying into his hair and massaging his scalp. “Lean back.“ You whisper when you feel his kisses getting harsher and breaths quicker, hands impatiently playing with the rim of your jeans. He does as he’s told and watches you climb off him, getting out of your jeans and urging him to do the same. When he’s about to get rid of his underwear, you grab his hand and stop him. You guide his hands around your lower back and rest them on your bum as you climb back onto him, lining yourself directly onto his hard one and grinding your cores against each other. Joel buckles up into you and you almost moan, eyes squeezing shut and mouth opening. The air around you is hot and you feel your hair sticking onto your forehead, Joels own body heat only increasing your warmth. “you´re teasing me.“ Joel mumbles against your neck when you press your fronts together. “Do you want me to stop?“ You ask in a low voice, lips dangling over his and touching as you speak. “No.“ He shakes his head and applies pressure to your bum, making you grind forwards. Your mouth forms into an o when you feel your wetness spreading onto him, and a shaky sigh slips past your lips. You run your hand down his belly and between your cores, feeling his clothed member in your palm before you pull his boxers down. Joel gets the hint and slides your underwear to the side, fingers holding it in place while he aligns with your entrance. “I love you.“ You whisper as he pushes into you, and you lower your hips to meet his thrust. Joel holds your lower back while you lean into him and looks into your hooded eyes, adoring your almost naked frame leaning against his. “I love you.“ He responds, mouth meeting yours for a soft kiss while you wrap your arms around his neck. Your chest almost suffocates him as you inch closer and move your hips back and forth, tensing your muscles at the hot friction against your core. Joel starts melting under you as well and his hands move upwards, cupping your neck with one hand while he holds you close. You lift your hips and sink down onto him, repeating the movement when you hear Joels heavy grunts next to your ear. Your forehead comes to rest against his shoulder when you grab onto the cushions for support, picking up on speed. “You feel so good.“ You kiss his neck and moan loudly when he thrusts into you, the sound of skin slapping on skin filling the room. Joel grabs your chin and makes you look at him, the sight of him alone almost making you come undone. “I don´t ever want to lose you.“ He rests his forehead against yours and you cry out in pleasure as you continue to ride him, rocking your hips against his. “You´ll never lose me.“ You mumble between heavy breaths, kissing every inch of his face that you can reach. Joel gasps huskily when you shift your weight and lean back, allowing him to push deeper into you. “I´m yours and you’re mine.“ You look at him and run a finger over his open lip, smiling when he kisses your fingertip. Your whole stomach is in knots and you feel your legs getting weak, the friction on your core almost unbearable. Joel picks up on your tensing body and slips a hand between your hips, gently rubbing your bundle of nerves while you squirm on top of him. Your grip on his shoulders tightens and you furrow your brows as you sink harder onto him, feeling his own release nearing with each thrust. Another grind of your hips is all it takes for him to come undone, shielding your own body with his as he hugs you so tight all air leaves your lungs. You rest your whole body  against him as you let go, hot waves washing through your bones and making you see stars. Your hands slip from his shoulders and wander over your own body as you breathe abruptly, legs quivering and face tensed. The heat in your belly and chest gets overwhelming and you need Joel to hold you close, holding onto him for dear life. You hear your own blood rushing through your ears and Joels heavy pants next to it. "Oh god." You pinch your eyes shut and hide your face from Joel, body tensing one last time. After you calm down, you feel his fingertips on your back and sides, his beard tickling the side of your face. You move and let him slip out of you, shivering at the loss of contact. Joel carefully lifts you onto the seat next to him and pulls his boxers back up, hovering over you as you lay down on the couch. “Move in with me.“ He says, face glowing in the dim light. You laugh tiredly and grab his shoulders, pulling him on top of you. You wrap your aching legs around his middle and lock him in place while he rests his weight onto his elbow, face inches away from yours. “I´m serious. We wasted so much time with tiptoeing around each other, let´s not lose any more.“ He runs his hand through your hair and you swallow, eyes gazing back and forth into his own. This all feels like a dream, and as you come down from your high, you realise he’s still waiting for an answer. Are you moving at a quick pace? Yes. Do you have any doubts? No. “I´d love to move in with you.“ You close your eyes and kiss him, wrapping your arms around his chest and almost disappearing beneath his form.  “I feel like a teenager again.“ Joel shakes his head and unties himself from you, moving to grab a towel to get you cleaned up. You stretch your tired limbs and watch him skip up the stairs. “You´re quite the romantic, can´t deny that!“ You call after him, and laugh when you hear him huff. It’s true, Joel is way sweeter than you ever expected him to be. Behind his hard shell and fear of losing any more loved ones, the old Joel is still buried deep inside. And you managed, with lots of patience and love, to make him show you this side of him. You can´t even describe the amount of happiness you feel when you think about him, now that he’s an integral part of your life you no longer want to live without. You really managed to find love in times when death and horror rule the world, and you are beyond grateful for that. “Hey Joel?“ You say as you hear him rummaging upstairs. “Hmm?“ He responds, closing a drawer and stomping the stairs back down. You watch his trained form walk over to you and smirk, dangling your feet off the couch. “how about you take me out on a proper date once I moved in?“ You thankfully take the towel from him and quickly run it over your body before getting dressed again. Joel lets himself fall back against the cushions with a loud thud, and watches your every move. “I fear to disappoint you baby, options here a limited.“ He shrugs his shoulders and you stop buttoning your blouse as you hear the nickname slipping past his lips. “Oh I´m not asking for much.“ You walk over to him and stand between his legs, smoothing down his hair and staring at his chapped lips. “Just a nice evening on your porch with a glass of wine while you sing for me.“ You beam at him and he rolls his eyes, a chuckle erupting from his throat. “If that is all it takes to make you happy.“ He traps you in his arms and you eagerly sit down next to him, body worn out and tired. “You is all I need.“ You snuggle into him and close your eyes, his strong chest comfortably resting against your side as you swing your legs over his lap. He rests his hands on your knees and leans back himself, eyes falling shut and body relaxing. “All I need now is a nap.“ He mumbles and you laugh, sliding lower and resting your head against the pillows, sleep washing over you. 

-----

I feel like I´m moving their relationship too fast but I can't stop lol, I just need more happy Joel in my life

[tlou2holland]

Joel x reader ( Pt 6 )

Summary: Joel and Y/N go to the dance, letting their secret slip 

warnings: fighting and cursing 

You can read the previous parts here! 

When you wake up the next day, strong arms are wrapped around your torso, holding you in place. You stifle a yawn, stretching your legs until they bump into another pair. You open your eyes and immediately smile at the sight in front of you. Joel lays on his back, mouth slightly ajar and soft snores coming from his throat. His hair is a mess and lays unruly against the pillow. His arms are locked around your waist and your head rests right next to his shoulder, ,making you kiss his collarbone. Last nights events replay in your mind and you blush as you rub your thighs together, feeling the slight burn Joels beard left there. “Mornin´“Joels whole chest deeply vibrates as he squints an eye open, and pulls you tighter into his chest. His hand runs up and down your arm, leaving a trail of goosebumps behind. “Good morning.“ Your voice is still raspy due to the lack of using it, and Joel hums. “You slept well?“ He asks, eyes fluttering closed again. “More than well, and you?“ You rest your chin on his chest and teasingly twirl his chest hair between your fingers. Joel grabs your hand and rests it on his stomach, fingers intertwined. “You snore.“ He says bluntly, making you gasp. “Says you!“ You swat his chest and Joel laughs, finally opening his eyes for good. “you want to stay for breakfast?“ Joel carefully moves you onto the pillow next to him and you happily cuddle into it, looking at him with sleepy eyes. “That sounds lovely.“ You watch as Joel gets up and slips into his clothes from last night, thin red stripes decorating his naked back. You bite your lip and wrap the blanket tighter around your body, inhaling the lingering scent of Joel. “You want me to bring it to you?“ Joel sits on the edge of the bed and leans back to brush some hair out of your face. You shake your head and lean into his hand, kissing the inside of his palm. “I´ll come with you.“ With that you get up and dress as well, jeans uncomfortably rough against your sore legs. Joel already waits for you in the kitchen and you sneak up behind him, wrapping your arms around his waist and resting your head against his clothed back. “I could get used to this.“ You mumble,  eyes almost closing again. Joel rests his hand on top of yours and grabs two mugs with the other. “Me too. Last time I had a morning like this was way before the outbreak.“ He chuckles at the memory and you peel yourself away from him to get a look at his face. Resting against the counter while you watch him prepare some water, you feel a pinch of jealousy in your stomach when you think about Joel with another woman. “Were you married?“ You ask, trying to sound casual. Joel nods and keeps himself busy with cutting some bread. “For short yeah, I was really young.“ He briefly looks over to you and goes back to preparing the coffee. “How young?“ You tilt your head and play with Joels shirt around your body. “definitely too young to have a kid.“ A sad smile grazes Joels face and you frown, guessing where this is going. “You had a kid?“ You slowly push yourself away from the counter and Joel nods, fingers playing with the watch around his wrist. “A daughter. Her name was Sarah. She would have liked you.“ Seeing the hurt in Joels eyes, you decide not to press the topic further and quickly kiss his cheek before leaning against his side. “I´m sorry.“ You take the steaming mugs out of his hands and carry them to the nearby dining table. The bitter smell of coffee fills your nostrils and you suppress a sigh, having missed the smell for years. “Your past always gets to you somehow.“ Joel shrugs his shoulders and joins you, a plate with bread and some butter in his hands. You eat in silence and sometimes look at each other, a comfortable atmosphere laying over you two. When you reach for your coffee and the dark liquid touches your lips, you eagerly lick them and moan out in joy. “God did I miss this.“ You beam at Joel, and he chuckles at your face. “It´s good, isn’t it?“ He drinks some as well and you nod, savoring each sip on your tongue. “I mean, given the circumstances I didn’t really grew up with coffee, but my dad loved it and let me have some whenever he found it.“ You warm your hands on the mug and Joel takes a bite of his bread, brushing some crumbs out of his beard. “Were you guys always outside?“ He asks, brows furrowing at the thought. You nod and push your empty plate away from you. “We never stayed too long at the same place. My dad wanted to find somewhere safe, but every time we thought we could stay, infected or people showed up.“ You shrug and finish your coffee, thinking about all the times you had to leave your makeshift home and be on the run. “Then we heard about Jackson from another group with kids, they said they trade goods from time to time and that it seems to be safe. My dad immediately wanted to go there.“ You smile at the memory and Joel leans back, chair creaking under his weight. “I was with Ellie when I first heard about Jackson. I haven’t seen Tommy for years and suddenly there he was, married and settled down.“ Joel shakes his head and you rest your chin onto your palm. “How did you meet Ellie?“ You watch Joel as he inhales and scratches the back of his neck, eyes uneasy. “Marlene, an old friend of Tommy wanted me to bring her to the fireflies. We traveled through the whole goddamn country. Ellie kind of grew onto me along the way.“ Joel clears his throat and your eyes meet, sadness in both of your gazes. “What happened between you two?“ You whisper, scared of crossing a line but Joel simply shrinks into himself and pushes his mug around the table. “I made a decision she can’t forgive me for.“ Joel looks at you, a stern look in his eyes. “But given the chance, I’d do it all over again.“ He sounds hurt but not regretful, and you decide not to push him any further. 

“I´m sure you made the right decision.“ With that you get up and bring your stuff back into the kitchen, briefly looking outside the window and catching a glimpse of the rising sun. “I should get going, before someone sees I´m not home and starts to worry.“ You feel Joels presence next to you and turn your head to look at him, his hazel eyes already scanning over your face. “Let them worry.“ He pulls you into his chest and you hug him close, his warmth engulfing you like a cloud. “I thought we wanted to keep things private until we know where this is going?“ You ask, a teasing tone lingering in your voice. “So we should sneak around like teenagers?“ Joels fingertips dance against your back and you laugh, leaning up on your tiptoes and pressing a kiss against his pink lips. “At least for a little while.“ 

So that’s what you did. Your days were spent with going on patrols, helping out on the fields and sneaking over to Joel when the rest of Jackson was already fast asleep. You’d watch old movies together, or read each other your favorite books. You even learned how to play the guitar and practiced in secret whenever you could. You showed Joel how to knit and he helped you with carving, conversations getting more natural and deep with each night you’d spent over at his. You could just lay cuddled together on the couch, his head in your lap while he tells you some story out of his youth, you’d listen for hours. You love every second of it, and by now, you were sure you love him too. You want to say it, to finally hold his hand in front of others, to stay even after breakfast is done and people could walk in. You know it was your idea to keep your relationship secret until you know it’d last, but you never expected it to get this hard. You want to gossip to Dina about the way Joel makes you feel, how good he likes to make you feel. You want to tell Jesse about all the small things he has in common with Joel, things Jesse might want to ask him about to learn something from him. You want to tell Ellie how happy Joel makes you, and that you love him truly. But you can´t, and it slowly starts to frustrate you. “What´s going on in that pretty head of yours?“ Joel sneaks up from behind and pulls you out of your thoughts. You lean into his chest and close your eyes as he kisses your neck. You got used to the scruff of his beard and scratch it lazily with your fingertips. “I want people to know about us.“ You mumble, distracted by Joels teeth grazing your flesh. He pulls away and rests his chin on your shoulder, speaking directly into your ear. “You know most people won’t understand.“ He winds his hands around your waist and you scoff. “I don´t care. I only care about Ellie and what she thinks, the rest can keep their opinions to themselves.“ You carefully brush a finger over his watch, finally knowing how much it means to Joel. You feel him straighten behind you and slowly loosen the grip on your hips. “You think she’s going to take it well?“ Joel seems worried and you shrug your shoulders, turning around to see his face. “I don´t know, but we have to tell her. I don´t want her to feel betrayed. I mean, all this time I spent with her without saying anything- I’d be pissed. You’re like a dad to her.“ You don’t even think too deep about your words, but Joel clears his throat. “Maybe I was close to her once, but she pretty much shut me out.“ Joel sadly drops his head and you reach out and lay a hand on his cheek. “That’s Not true, she obviously still cares about you. In her own I-don´t-need-you-in-my-life way, but believe me, she wouldn’t want to live without you.“ You run your thumb along his jaw and Joel looks at you, eyes tired and heavy with emotion. “I wouldn’t want to live without her,either. Or you.“ Joel looks away and your heart does a flip, a wide grin spreading on your lips. “Let´s talk with her tomorrow and just hope for the best.“ You nervously chuckle and Joel pulls you in for a kiss, hands cupping your face while his tongue pushes past your lips. You tilt your head and lean in even further, gripping tightly onto his shirt. “Are you coming to the dance tonight?“ You ask breathlessly, lips brushing over his while you speak. Joel nudges his nose against yours and shakes his head. “I have better things to do.“ He pulls away and you groan. “Oh please! Dina is making me go with her. Wouldn’t it be fun to sneak around one last evening? We can go to the next one together.“ You teasingly nudge his shoulder and intertwine your hand with his. You still feel the spot where he had a splinter some hours ago and caress it with your fingertip. Joel sighs and looks at you, a warning look in his eyes. “No funny games if I go.“ He points his finger at you and you innocently bat your eyelashes at him. “No funny games, I promise.“ You link your pinky with his and kiss him one last time. “I see you tonight at the dance, Mister Miller.“ You let your hand glide over his chest and push him away with a laugh, quickly skipping down the stairs and making your way home to get ready for the dance. 

Not that you have many clothes to choose from, but you still try to dress up a bit and do something nice with your hair. Dina was already waiting for you when you finished, and together you make your way to the dance. The loud music from crooked still could be heard from a distance, and you smile as Dina impatiently wiggles her hips and urges you to go faster. “Hurry up or we’ll be late.“ She grabs your hand and you let yourself fall back a bit, laughing when she pulls you forwards. “We can’t be late to a dance that has no official start.“ You smooth down your clothes and Dina rolls her eyes. “I don´t want to leave Ellie waiting. You know her, she’ll probably leave if I don’t show up.“ Dina blushes and you squeal, surprised “Ellie and you have a date?“ You ask excited, happy for your friends. “Kinda, you know Ellie is not the most affectionate but at the dances she’s not as tensed and relaxes a little. Maybe we’ll kiss again.“ Dina looks at you, a lock hiding the small smile on her lips. You let go of her hand and wrap your arms around her neck instead, pressing your cheek against hers. “I ship you two so hard, please make a move if Ellie is too shy. I need-“You pause, slightly loosening your grip on Dina as you both start to stumble. “I absolutely need you guys together in my life.“ You finish, jokingly grabbing your heart and Dina mimics your actions. “Oh Y/N, thank you so much for shipping us!“ She rolls her eyes and you giggle, earning a chuckle from Dina. “But all jokes aside, I need details as soon as things get serious between you two.“ You release her from your grip and Dina nods her head. “I want to kiss her, like real bad. Stuff is bound to get serious.“ She says it like its the most normal thing ever, and you beam as you think about how happy Ellie would be if she heard Dina. “Talking about kissing, is Joel a good kisser?“ Dina teasingly points to your neck where the tiniest love bite pops out from your blouse. You reach up to cover it with your hand, and simply nod. “The best I ever had.“ With that you walk faster, and bite your lip when you hear Dina gasp behind you. You don’t give her any chance to ask further tho, as you push the doors of the barn open and step inside. You are immediately greeted by Ellie, and hug her close. “I thought you’d leave me alone with Jesse.“ She puts you at arms length and you give her an apologetic smile, gesturing to Dina. “Dina wouldn’t be too amused about that. She’s been dying to get to you.“ You laugh as Ellie and Dina stare at each other, ears tinted red and shy smiles on their lips. “You´re going to ask me to dance?“ Dina asks, and grabs Ellies hand. She waits for no answer and simply pulls her towards the dance floor, holding onto her hips and leaning her head against Ellies shoulder. Ellie is a little stiff but smiles when you give her a thumbs up, and starts twirling Dina around. You stroll towards the bar and get a drink, loosening the first buttons of your blouse as the warm air inside starts to get to you. You look around for any familiar faces and wave at Jesse who talks with Maria. Both wave back and you relax against a pole, resting your shoulder blades onto the thick wood. “Looking for someone?“ Joel nudges your hip with his and you turn your head to the side, almost kissing him on the spot. “You came!“ You beam, hands reaching out to touch him. He takes a sip of his beer and keeps his eyes on Ellie and Dina while he nods. “Don´t want my girl to be upset, right?“ His deep voice sounds more beautiful to you than ever, and you feel immense pride inside your chest at his words. “I can´t wait to dance with you, you know, feel your hands on me. Knowing what they can do.“ You sigh and hide your grin behind the rim of your glass when Joel shoots you a glance. “Remember, no funny games.“ Joel looks around and quickly squeezes your hip when nobody was looking, fingertips brushing over your bum. Then he slanders away and talks with some friends of his while you stand there, a tingling in your stomach and lips pursed. You know the effect you have on Joel, and couldn’t wait for tonight when you’d end up in his bed.

 “Hey Y/N.“ Marcus taps your shoulder and you turn around, looking directly into his blue eyes. “Hi Marcus.“ You take a sip of your drink and rest a hand on your hip. “You´re here all alone?“ He slides his hands into the pockets of his jeans and you shake your head. “I´m here with Dina and Ellie.“ You look over at your friends who laugh and giggle in each others arms, goofily swinging each other around. “You wanna join them?“ Marcus asks when he sees your wandering gaze and you look back at him, clearing your throat. “I´m not a good dancer.“ You take another sip from your glass and Marcus laughs, showing off his white teeth. “I know for a fact that’s not true. Come on, one dance. As friends?“ Marcus extends his hand and you bite your lip, scanning the room for Joel but not seeing him anywhere. One dance couldn’t hurt, right? So you nod and take Marcus hand, laughing at his toothy smile and wide eyes when he realizes you actually said yes. “Friends, nothing more.“ You remind him when his hand wanders a bit too low down your back and he apologizes, cheeks a deep shade of red. “Yes Ma´am.“ He Salutes and you laugh, swinging your hips to the beat while Marcus twirls you under his arm. You sync the lyrics with your lips and grab his hand to make him twirl under you, standing on your tiptoes while he crouches down with a chuckle and rotates under your arm. “Look at your moves!“ You let go of Marcus and throw your head back, stomach hurting from all the laughing. If you knew Marcus was this fun to dance with, you would have said yes way sooner. “I told you I’m awesome.“ Marcus wiggles his eyebrows and rotates his shoulders when a banjo solo begins. He inches closer towards you and you sway your hips, chests almost touching. “I wouldn’t say awesome but you’re quite alright.“ You turn around and rub your back against him, his hands on your upper waist. You feel him trying to inch closer and give him a warning look, making him back away with a laugh and hands raised in surrender. “Sorry, I miscalculated the space.“ He poorly excuses, lucky that you find him amusing and only shake your head at his stupid apology. “You have it fistful behind your ears.“ You point your finger at him and continue to dance, a playful glimmer in your eyes. Marcus just tilts his head and smirks, hands extending to tightly grip your hips and pull you into him. You gasp and rest your hand on his chest to push him away, but his hold on you is too strong. “Girls like just that, don’t they?“ He leans down and closes his eyes, lips pursing to meet yours. You turn your head to the side and lean away from him. “Marcus stop.“ You say, all jokes aside. He opens his eyes and frowns, hands inching even lower. “Come on, it’s just a kiss.“ His fingertips burn against your spine and you shake your head, cheeks heating up in anger. “Let me go.“ You growl, all playfulness gone. “You heard her.“ A husky voice says behind you. You don’t need to turn around to know its Joel, his heavy steps and angry puffs gave him away. “You don’t have a say in this, Joel. This is between Y/N and me.“ Marcus slightly loosens his grip on you and you use the chance and push him away from you. Marcus takes a step back and you briefly look around, no one noticed the tensed atmosphere, yet. “I think I do have a say in this. Y/N clearly said no and you should respect that.“ Joel steps forward and you rest a hand on his chest, pleadingly looking into his eyes. But he doesn’t even look at you, and Marcus only grows more frustrated with each second. “Look man, I appreciate you looking out for her, but Y/N is old enough to mind her own business. Go and baby Ellie or something.“ Marcus lazily sways his hand and you scoff, stepping in front of Joel and between him and Marcus. “Thats enough, Marcus. Just leave me alone, please.“ With that you turn around, but Marcus reaches forward and grabs your arm. You don’t even have time to react when Joel pushes past you and takes Marcus hand from you, pressing it against Marcus side with force. “Don´t you touch her.“ He growls, and the threat makes the people around you stop dancing. “Or else, what?“ Marcus puffs out his chest and tries to imitate Joel, but he simply stands his ground. Joel doesn’t respond to that, but if looks could kill, Marcus would lay dead on the floor. “You-“Marcus pokes his finger into Joels chest, “should learn to mind your own business. Old man.“ Marcus was about to pull his finger back when Joel pushes him, making Marcus land butt first on the ground. You hear some woman gasp around you and a “What the fuck??“ from Ellie. You stand frozen on the spot but quickly move when Marcus gets up, vein popping out on his forehead from anger. “Come on Joel, please don´t.“ You whisper as you grab his shoulder and catch his attention for a split second, that’s until Marcus pushes Joel back and hits your nose with his elbow in the progress. You whine and grab your face, hiding it behind your hands to protect it from more damage. “Marcus stop!“ Maria angrily shouts from somewhere in the crowd, but you only hear Joels heavy breathing and fists colliding with skin. Dina gently grabs you by the shoulders and pulls you back as she examines your nose, your eyes too glassy to see anything. “Please make them stop.“ You mumble when you hear Joel grunt and Marcus laugh, the music still echoing through the room. “I said don’t you touch her!“ Joel draws his arm back for another swing but Ellie steps forwards and holds his arm, angrily shouting at the fighting men. “stop it! What the fuck is wrong with you?“ She lets go of Joel and Marcus huffs, brushing his blonde hair out of his face. “Just because he likes to fuck Y/N doesn’t mean he can tell me what to do!“ Marcus frowns and Joel looks at Ellie, fists clenched. “Oh fuck off. You just punched her you asshole.“ Ellie raises her voice and Marcus finally notices you in the corner, mouth opening but no sounds coming out. “I think its best if you leave.“ Maria steps forward and gently pulls Ellie back, while she corners Marcus and urges him to go outside. As soon as the heavy doors close again and Marcus has left, Joel opens his fists.

 Without another word he turns around and walks over to you, cradling your face in his hands. “Are you okay?“ Despite the anger in his eyes, his voice is soft and you nod, hands coming up to hold onto his wrists. “Let´s just go please.“ You lean into him and ignore the stares the people are giving you. Ellie looks at you confused, but you only have eyes for Joel and his split lip. Dina takes Ellies hand and whispers something into her ear, kissing her cheek afterwards. 

 “I´m sorry.“ Joel pecks your forehead with his lips and grabs your hand, shielding you from the shocked faces as you walk trough the small crowd and outside. “I didn´t want Ellie and the others to find out that way.“ You cry out as Joel and you stand on his porch, tears pricking at the back of your head. “I´m sorry for how tonight turned out.“ You frown and wipe your eyes, breaths quickening. “Hey.“ Joel hugs you and you lean against his chest, clasping onto his shoulders. “None of this is your fault. Marcus was drunk and I shouldn’t have let him provoke me, if anything, its my fault. Although he deserved it for laying hand on you.“ Joel angrily mumbles the last part and you pull away to look into his eyes. “That was an accident. He wouldn’t have punched me on purpose.“ You sniffle and Joel wipes another tear from your eyes. “Accident or not, I don’t care. No one lays a hand on my woman.“ Joel rests his forehead against yours and you close your eyes. His woman. “I just hope he doesn’t try to talk me again, I simply want to stay here with you and hide from anything.“ You sound almost child like and Joel chuckles at your pout. “That can be arranged. Now you don’t have to sneak around no more. You can actually stay for as long as you want, you know?“ Joel lifts your chin and deeply stares into your eyes, trying not to get mad at the small bruise on the bridge of your nose. You smile the tiniest smile and nod. “I´ll stay for as long as you’ll have me.“ “Then you best prepare to never leave again.“ Joel kisses you and you taste the blood from his lips on your tongue, a small sob erupting from your throat. You just have so many emotions you can’t pinpoint, and feel overwhelmed by the previous events. You hide your face in the crook of Joels neck and hold onto him for dear life, your tears slowly soaking the front of his shirt. “I love you.“ You whisper, eyes pressed shut and voice muffled by Joels front. He heard you nevertheless, as he tightness his grip around your front and rests his chin on top of your head. “I love you, too.“

————

I´M BACK!!! Sorry for not updating but I’ve been really busy. I´m going to make it up to you by writing roughly 5 more chapters for this story, so stay tuned :) my mind is crap rn so please forgive me, I hope you like the new chapter nevertheless 

[tlou2holland]

I love your joe miller serious it’s amazing when are the next chapters coming ❤️

Thank u so much💜 your feedback means a lot to me! I’m currently busy but I’ll publish more chapters by the end of the week, so stay tuned!

[tlou2holland]

Joel x reader (Pt 5)

Summary: You visit Joel and things get steamy 

Warnings: smut, my first time writing smut so probably awkwardness too 

you can read the previous parts here

You wait until it’s dark outside to get dressed and leave your home. Holding Joels shirt in your hands, you nervously wring it between your fingers as you make your way over to his house. You feel tired and your leg still hurts a bit, but the thought of meeting Joel kept you awake and happy. As soon as his porch comes into sight, you grab tighter onto his shirt and hurriedly climb the steps to his door. You knock three times, take a step back and wait for him to open the door. You hear his heavy steps before you see him, and bite your lip. “Hello there.“ He opens the door with a smile grazing his lips, and the corners of your mouth instantly tilt upwards. “Hi.“ You respond, shyly leaning towards him. Do you kiss or hug him? You don’t know, and clearly he’s thinking about it, too. His hand clumsily pokes your stomach as he extends it for a handshake, but he pulls away in an instant and wraps his arm around your waist instead. You blush and look up at him, lips pursed but not knowing their aim yet. A kiss on the mouth or cheek, or no kiss at all? Joel starts to lean in and hovers over your face, looking back and forth between your eyes and lips. A kiss on the lips, you think. But just as you close your eyes, you feel his lips connect with your forehead instead. It’s a simple peck and you open your eyes, Joel already looking at you. “I uh, have your shirt.“ You say, voice quivering a bit so you clear your throat. “Yeah, I almost forgot about that. Thanks.“ Joel blushes and looks at your hands, waiting for you to give it to him. You release one hand and extend it towards him, his fingers stroking yours before he takes it. “You can sit down in the living room if you like, I’ll just put this away real quick.“ Joel shakes the shirt in his hands and you nod, moving to sit down on the comfortable looking couch. Your back barely touches the pillows as you sit hunched forwards, hands on your knees. You watch Joel out of the corner of your eyes as he disappears up the stairs and out of your view. You hear him opening a drawer and close it again. He returns seconds later, the sleeves of his shirt now rolled up to his elbows. “Do you want something to drink?“ He asks, hands tucked away into the pockets of his jeans. “Sure.“ You move to stand up, but he shakes his head. “I´ll get it for you. Wine or beer?“ He asks, already walking into his kitchen. “Uh,  beer?“ You say, although it sounds more like a question. “Good choice, Tommy made it. It’s quite alright.“ Joel chuckles and returns from the kitchen with two bottles in his hand. He hands you one and you gladly take it. “Do you need a glass?“ He rests his bottle on the table and you shake your head. “No, thank you.“ You lean back and open the bottle, relaxing a little. Joel sits down next to you and casually rests his arm on the pillows behind you, giving you the chance to cuddle into him. You scoot slightly closer and lean your side against his chest, feeling his every breath. “How are you? After what happened today, I mean.“ Joel takes a sip of his beer and you do the same, licking foam from your upper lip. “I´m good. I know it was a stupid thing of me to do, but I´m good.“ You nod your head while speaking, and Joel opens his legs a little, knees bumping into yours. “Just don´t do that again. It’s dangerous out there.“ His voice is soft and you crane your head to look at him, his eyes already watching you. “I know.“ You mumble, playing with the neck of your bottle. You nervously gulp and Joel lifts his hand to run his fingers along your cheek. The gesture is sweet and honest, and it takes you by surprise. “I´m sorry for being mad at you earlier.“ He says, eyes never leaving yours. You lean into his touch and slowly run your hand along his leg. “It´s okay, you were worried.“ You bite your lip and tighten the grip on your bottle, scared to drop it as you lovingly gaze into Joels eyes. He brushes some hair behind your ear and lets his thumb glide along your jaw. You get goosebumps on your arms and suppress a shiver, cheeks growing hotter with each touch of his. You need to distract yourself. “Your cheek almost healed completely.“ Amazed by that realization, you let your own thumb skim over the chapped skin of his cheek, happy that it won’t leave a scar. Joel laughs and grabs your wrist, resting it in his lap. “You took good care of it.“ He lifts his bottle to his lips and looks at you, smiling at your blushing form. You shy away under his gaze and take another sip as well, liking the way the beer prickles on your tongue. “Do you know how to make beer?“ You wonder, as you rotate the bottle in your hands. Joel briefly taps his finger against the glass and wipes some drops from the neck. “I do, but it’s too much work me. Stuff takes weeks.“ He pinches the hairs of his beard between his fingertips and smoothes them down, grey strands mixing with darker ones. You like the way his hair and beard harmonize, smoothly transitioning into each other. You remember Joel with shorter hair, and decide that you like him better this way. “Don´t cut your hair.“ You blurt out, mind caught up in his appearance. “What?“ He laughs, tilting his head. “Don´t cut your hair, it suits you when it´s this long.“ You reach out with a smile and curl your fingers into his hair, nails grasping over his scalp. “Okay.“ Joel clearly likes the way you massage his scalp and you suppress a giggle, heart swelling at the man in front of you. “I wish I could grow a beard. Just for a day, so I know what its like.“ You mumble, a childish glimmer in your eyes. Joel chuckles at that and lets you touch his beard, fingers scanning over his jaw and chin. “You only like me for my hair, don’t you?“ He acts offended and you laugh, withdrawing your hand from his face to put it in your own lap again. “You caught me.“ You shrug your shoulders and drink some more of your beer, starting to feel warm. “Maybe I can impress you with something else.“ Joel finishes his beer and puts the empty bottle at his feet, wiping his mouth with the back of your hand. You lift your legs up onto the sofa and cuddle into the pillows, head resting on your hand. “I won´t say no to that.“ You wait for Joel to make the next move, but he stands up and gestures for you to drink up. A little surprised, you hand him your empty bottle and he disappears into the kitchen, getting new beers for you guys. “Let´s go outside for a bit.“ He opens the door and steps outside, lightning a small gaslamp in one corner and pulling out another chair for you. You wrap your arms around yourself and stop at the threshold. “I didn´t bring my jacket with me.“ You admit embarrassed, playing with the sleeves of your sweater. “You can have mine.“ Joel is quick to slide past you and get his jacket from a hanger, laying it over your shoulders. You inhale his scent and wrap the fabric tighter around your body, slowly slipping your arms through. “Won´t you be cold?“ You ask, stepping outside and sitting in one of the chairs. Your limbs feel comfortably heavy and your nerves finally calm down. “I´m good.“ Joel was about to close the door when you spot his guitar in the corner and stop him. “Can you play something for me?“ You ask, batting your eyelashes at him. He sighs and looks at you. “I’m not going to sing.“ With that he grabs the guitar and closes the door behind him, sitting in the chair next to you and resting the guitar on his thigh. “you know Pearl Jam?“ He asks, and you excitedly shake your head. “No.“

“I think you’ll like this one.“ Joel starts strumming the strings of his guitar and a soft tune emerges from it, making you open your mouth in awe. He keeps looking at you while his fingers change cords and pick up on speed, clearly knowing how to play. “it´s beautiful.“ You whisper, leaning forward and resting your chin in your palm. Joel starts humming and his deep voice makes your eyes close. So much to not singing. „If I ever were to lose you, I’d surely lose myself.“ He´s slightly out of tune but you love it, lovingly gazing at him. “Everything I have found here, I’ve not found by myself.“ Joel furrows his eyebrows and slowly drops the guitar, clearing his throat. “Whats wrong?“ You ask, picking up on his sad eyes. “This song just brings back a lot of memories.“ He presses his lips together and you take your bottle, taking another sip. Unsure of what to say, you just look at him. “Do you wanna learn how to play?“ He suddenly asks, lifting the guitar again and holding it out towards you. “Oh I don´t know how to-“ “Come here.“ He pats his leg and slides his chair back a little, so you can fit on top of him. You slowly put your bottle down and walk over to him, his jacket heavy on your shoulders. Joel picks up on your uncertainty and grabs your hand, pulling you into him. You land on his thighs with a gasp, his arms wrapping around you from behind and placing the guitar in your lap. You wiggle around to get comfortable, and grab the guitars neck with shaking fingers. “What now?“ You ask, feeling Joels hot breath on your neck. He rests his chin on your shoulder and grabs your fingers, placing each on a different tab. “Now pull the strings.“ He mumbles, his hand holding onto yours for support. You follow his instruction and brush downwards with your thumb, but it doesn’t sound right. “You have to press harder, let me help.“ Joel covers your fingertips with his and presses down. You feel the guitar strings against your fingertips and the dull discomfort that comes with it, not used to something so rough. “Now it should sound better.“ Joel takes your other hand and slides it down, a soft melody following his movements. You smile and do it again, this time without Joels help. “it hurts on my fingertips.“ You half heartedly complain, actually not minding it too much. “That´s because your fingers need to get used to it, first. It’s going to take some weeks but then you’ll be fine.“ Joel caresses your wrist and you loosen your grip on the guitar, to distracted bis his lips skimming your shoulder blades and neck. “You did quite alright for the first time.“ Joel admits, his beard rubbing against your exposed skin and hands sneaking under your jacket. You giggle and drop the guitar, carefully placing it next to you before any damage occurs. You squirm on Joels thigh and swing your legs over the chair, facing him sideways. He moves his hands to your thighs and keeps you in place, fingers dancing along your skin. You wrap your arms around his neck and cuddle into his side. “You think I’ll get better?“ You proudly ask, eyes glassy from the beer and face warm. “of course.“ Joel teasingly pinches your thigh and you smirk, scratching his beard with your nails. “I knew I had it in me.“ You joke, teasingly pressing your bum onto his crotch. Joel growls and grabs your waist, stopping you from moving further. “I know what you’re trying to do.“ He says, eyes darkening and chest heaving. You innocently look at him and run your finger over his lip, thoughts running wild. You can feel the atmosphere changing, tension strong enough to be cut trough with a knife. “Stop it.“ Joel warns again as you play with the collar of his shirt, undoing some buttons. You can´t explain where your sudden boost of confidence comes from, but you never wanted a man like you want Joel in this moment. “Make me.“ You whisper directly into his ear, feeling the effect your words have on him. You’re ready to show Joel how much he means to you, and crash your lips down on his. He tightens his grip on your thigh and massages your flesh, eagerly slipping his tongue into your mouth. You breathe heavily and pull on his hair, chest rising rapidly as you press yourself closer to him. Joel teasingly sucks on your bottom lip and a muffled moan escapes your mouth, eyes closed and nose wrinkled. Joel starts to kiss down your chin and towards your neck, nibbling on your sensitive skin while his beard scratches the rest. You grab onto his shoulders and lean your forehead against his chest, breathing heavily. His fingers explore the sides of your tummy and he slowly kisses his trail back up, capturing your lips in a gentle peck. “Let´s take this upstairs.“ He peels himself away from you and pats your leg, urging you to stand up. You´ve never been this quick to get up and walk towards the door, almost ripping it open and hurriedly running up the stairs. Joel is right behind you and playfully grabs your hips, pinching and tickling the flesh while you struggle to keep your laughter at bay. “Joel Stop.“ You giggle, skin growing hot under the layering of clothes you are wearing. Joel spins you around and traps you behind him and the wall, hands firm on your sides. “It´s not my fault you started teasing me.“ He slowly slides his jacket down your shoulders and it falls to the ground with a thud. You lean your shoulders against the wall and hold your arms behind your back, hips pushed out. You look at him and bite your lip, liking the way he undresses you simply with his eyes. You run your hands along his clothed chest and undo more buttons, stopping just above his belt. A low grunt vibrates trough his chest, and you shiver. If he continues with those noises, I won’t last.

“You´re a tease, you know that?“ Joel rests his forehead against yours and slips his hand under your sweater, caressing your belly and lace of your bra. You smile at him and close your eyes, hands gripping onto his biceps. A trail of clothes follow your path as you stumble towards his bedroom, lips locked and hands all over each other. His shirt? Gone. Your Sweatshirt? Somewhere across the room. You feel the mattress hitting the back of your knees and fall down, landing on his blanket. You lean back against your arms and wait for Joel to join you, while he peels off his jeans. “Are you sure you want this?“ He asks as he slowly crawls over to you, your body cornered beneath him. You grab onto his back and run your fingers across his exposed skin, taking your time to truly feel him. “I´ve never been this sure of anything.“ You kiss him, tender and slow. His hand rests just beneath your chest and you arch into him, waiting for him to take off your bra. He hungrily grabs onto your freshly exposed skin, and explores your soft breasts with his hands. You sigh and throw your head back, arms stretching to the sides. Joel looks at the way you move under him, and lowers his dressed core down to yours, feeling your warmth and eagerness. His own breathing quickens as you grab his hand and guide it down to your heat, past the waistband of your jeans. Joel quickly works on the buttons and pries the material down your legs and off your body, leaving you in just your panties. You feel exposed but not insecure, and look at him with hooded eyes. He´s already smiling at you, and slides his hand over your thigh and onto your hips where he holds you down. “I want to make you feel good.“ He kisses your knee and thigh, working his way up while parting your legs. You let out a shallow breath and grab onto his hair, massaging his scalp. “Joel.“ You breathlessly turn your head and squirm, his strong hold keeping you in place. You can feel his hot breath on your core and what it does to you, knot already tying in your lower stomach. “You look so beautiful.“ Joel presses a kiss to your clothed core, and you moan, impatiently waiting for more. His fingers hook beneath the fabric of your panties and pull them down, where you kick them off at your ankles. “If you want me to stop, just let me know, okay?“ Joel looks up to see if you have any doubts, but you can feel his growing bulge on your thigh and his breath on your exposed heat. “Joel please.“ You push his head down and sigh when you feel his tongue tasting your folds. Your hips lift slightly off the bed as you rock yourself against him, feeling the stubble of his beard on your inner thighs and the burning trail they leave behind. “Don´t stop.“ You pull on his hair and whatever part of him you can reach, seeing stars when he slides a finger into you. It’s a sensation you haven’t felt for years, and your body is on cloud seven. His tongue explores every inch of you and you cry out in bliss, muscles twitching when he hit that spot inside of you. You feel him chuckle against you and add another finger, the vibrations erupting another moan from your throat. Your mind stops working and all you can think about is Joel, and the way he’s working you towards your sweet release. “I´m not done with you yet.“ Joel emerges from your folds and kisses his way towards your tummy, eyes locked with yours. You blush and touch his shoulders, teasingly circling the skin. Joel continues to work his fingers inside of you while his lips spoil your breasts, nibbling on your sensitive buds and collarbones. You take his chin in your hand and move it towards your face, connecting your lips in a open mouthed kiss. You taste yourself and simply him, growing impatient. “I need you.“ You whisper, pressing your legs together to keep his fingers from moving. You want to feel all of him, and not just a bit. “Say that again.“ Joel rests his weight on his underarm and withdraws his fingers, rubbing the skin of your sides instead. “I need you.“ You say again, hand dipping between your bodies and beneath his underwear. You feel him grow in your palm and gently run your thumb over the tip, wetting him before moving your hand up and down. Joel closes his eyes and groans, mouth open and breathing heavily into yours. He grinds against your hand and you rub your legs together, aching for him. Joel senses your eagerness and grabs your hand, stopping you from pleasuring him further. “I won´t last long if you keep doing that.“ He kisses the tip of your nose and you giggle, playing with the hairs on his chest while Joel gets rid of his boxers. “Are you sure?“ He bumps himself a few times in his hand and looks at you, waiting for you to nod. You wrap your legs around his waist and pull him closer, feeling his tip at your entrance. He enters you with a groan and you cling onto his back, chest arching towards his and the sole of your feet pushing him more into you. “Joel.“ You look at him with wide eyes and he grabs both of your hands, intertwining them with his own over your head. “You feel so good.“ He kisses your open mouth and lazily nibbles at the skin of your neck, finding your sweet spot. You meet his thrusts with your hips and adjust your legs around his waist, making him move deeper into you. He stretches you in all the right places and you bite your lip, eyes squinted shut and head moving from side to side. Joel almost melts at the sight of you and deepens his thrusts, pulling in and out at a teasingly slow place. Your body moves upwards with each of his thrusts, and you feel the blanket crunch beneath your back. Your fingers tighten the grip onto Joels hands when he playfully bites your neck and leaves a mark, soothing the spot with a kiss. „Joel I´m close.“ You open your eyes to look at him, and feel your core twitch at the sight. His hair is a mess and some strands stick to his sweaty forehead, eyes tightly shut and mouth wide open. Heavenly sounds come out of his throat and all you can hear is him calling out for you. “Y/N“ he fastens his thrust and you release your grip on his hands to wrap your arms around his shoulders and neck. He returns the gesture and holds you tight against him, his hand supporting half of your back as he lifts your torso up and towards him. You feel the knot in your stomach tighten and tingle, goosebumps all over your skin and limbs incredibly heavy. “I´m coming.“ You cry out, pressing your thighs together while you lean your head against Joels chest, whole body tensing and toes curling. I love you, I love you, I love you. You want to say it, but your breath hitches in your throat and stars cloud your vision. Joel moans when he feels your walls tighten around him, and grabs one of your legs to keep you in place. He continues to thrust into you, picking up speed and bringing you through your high. When he feels your arms loosening around his neck, he slowly pulls out and collapses on top of you, his own release squirting over your thigh and hip. You run a hand over your sweaty forehead and hug Joel close, breathing heavily into his ear. He lays on top of you and shields you with his own body, heart racing rapidly inside his chest. “That was-“ He begins. “Wow.“ You finish, giggling when Joel props himself up onto his elbow and covers your face in kisses. You cup his cheeks in your hands and kiss him on the lips, moving slow and careful. Joel breaks the kiss and slowly detangles himself from you, letting your leg slide off his back and pinning your arms to his bed. You let out a whine at that and he chuckles, getting up nevertheless. He quickly picks up his underwear and puts it back on, before strolling into the nearby bathroom. You hear water running and he returns seconds later, with a wet towel in his hand. “I hope it’s not too cold.“ With that he starts running the towel over your sticky skin, taking his sweet time with you. You rest your head against the pillow and close your eyes, fingers mindlessly fumbling with the sheets beneath you. After Joel finishes, he leaves the room once again to throw the towel into a basket and find something for you to wear. He hands you one of his long sleeved shirts, smiling when you put it on and not so secretly smell on it, hugging the fabric close to your body. “Do you want to stay the night?“ Joel asks as he climbs back into bed with you. You lift your bum so he can pull the covers out from beneath you and nod. “I´d love that.“ He opens his arms and you happily snuggle into him, resting your head on his chest. Your arm winds around his waist and draws small patterns onto his skin while his hand nuzzles into your hair and neck. You tangle your legs with his and yawn, growing more tired with each passing minute. Joel simply kisses the top of your head and pulls you closer, arms tensing around your shoulders and back. “I can get used to this.“ You mumble, enjoying the warmth radiating off of Joel. After years of sleeping alone and being deprived of this form of contact, you didn’t even realize how much you missed and needed this. “Me too.“ Joel sounds far away, and you crane your neck to look up at him. He has his eyes closed and mouth slightly parted, even breaths coming out. You smile to yourself and hug him close, hoping that this wouldn’t be the last time you’d end up in his arms. 

[tlou2holland]

Joel x reader (Pt 4)

Summary: You sneak out of Jackson and worry Joel 

warnings: some cursing, killing of infected 

you can read the previous parts here

The rest of your night is spend hidden away in your home, thoughts racing and keeping you from any sleep. Are you and Joel in a relationship? Although the thought scares you, you like how it sounds in your mind. Boyfriend and Girlfriend. Who would have thought that dating in the apocalypse is still nerve wrecking and scary? You always thought that if you meet someone you like, you’d be together and that’s it. Nowadays is not the time for tiptoeing around and playing games, given that you could die any day. But you and Joel are not official, and only stand at the beginning of god knows what. Do you want to be official with him? Face the judgement of others and live under pressure of having to make it work? You don’t know, another question about Joel you can´t find an answer to. You just know that he likes you, finally, after four years of playful flirting and hidden glances. You toss in your bed and hug the covers close up to your chin, nose poking out so you can breathe. You almost got intimate with Joel, if it wasn’t for Tommy to walk in on you. You just hope he keeps his mouth shut, to talk with Joel about it would be embarrassing enough. But how did all of this happen? How long has he liked you, too? And what made him make a move on you? Jesse and Dina would tease the shit out of you if they knew about your little fling with Joel, but you don’t want to tell anyone, at least not yet. What if Joel changes his mind and suddenly doesn’t want you anymore? You wouldn’t be ready for the rejection, less everyone knowing about it. But you doubt that Joel would reject you, he looked at you in a way only few men looked at you before, and never did it feel so good to you. He wants you, and it makes you insanely giddy and happy. Joel really wants you.

Once your mind grows tired and your body becomes heavy, time passes faster and you awake the next day, feeling truly rested for once. Having no duties or meetings planned, you lazily stretch and yawn, running a hand over your sleepy face. You could stay in bed and let the day slide away, or take a walk and do whatever afterwards. So you get up and quickly wash yourself, eating an apple in between. Your jacket keeps you warm as you leave your house, the people in Jackson already wide awake and moving around. You see Marcus along with some of his friends moving a load of vegetables towards the kitchens. Maria quickly walks past you and just waves, a map and pencil in her hands. You watch her walk towards Tommy´s and hers house, Tommy already standing outside the porch with a mug in his hands. You quickly turn around and walk the opposite way, feet carrying you towards the east gate where you slip past and dip into the woods. You won’t stroll too far away, having only your knife and no gun with you. You just want to find something nice to decorate your home with. Maybe a rock or even flowers, depending on what would cross your path. You inhale the crisp air and observe the ground, seeing traces imprinted into the wet mud. You wrinkle your forehead and lean down, fingers touching the earth. It still moves around and squeezes to the side at your touch, so the trace is fresh. It almost looks like some kind of hoof, maybe from a deer or moose. You decide to follow it and rub the dirt between your fingers until it dries and dusts off. It’s been ages since you’ve last seen a moose, and the thought of maybe finding one excites you. You carefully creep through the woods, eyes still stuck on the trace while your ears listen for any unusual sounds. But there’s nothing, just your own breathing and munching of footsteps in the ground. Peaceful, you think. You find comfort in silence, and turn your thoughts off for once as you concentrate on finding the majestic animal. After wandering around and loosing the trace a couple of times, you finally find it again. Footsteps? You tilt your head and count the imprints. The hoofs are still there, but next to it are footsteps, the imprint of the sole clearly visible. You frown and grab your knife, hiding in the safety of trees as you continue your way, eyes now looking around with caution. As much as you’d like to, you can´t trust foreigners these days. And the thought of possibly meeting one doesn’t sound much appealing to you. Your heartbeat quickens as you hear an animal breathing heavily somewhere to your left. It sounds like its in pain and moans from time to time, making you tighten the grip on your knife. “What the-“You mumble as the sound of smacking and scratching fills your ears. You hide behind another tree and peek your head out, mouth opening at the scene in front of you. Apparently the footprint aren’t human ones, but from Runners. Three of them delight themselves on the moose, a bloody trail showing where they surprised, and brought the animal down. You feel your stomach turn and look away, feeling sorry for the moose that draws its last breaths, throat and insides pried open. Kill them or go home you weigh out in your head. The runners are distracted and probably wouldn’t notice you, but you’d alert the remaining two after killing one. But if you don’t kill them, they’ll stroll further around and hurt innocent people, or find their way towards Jackson. You sigh in distress, and just decide to risk it. Maybe if you’re fast enough, you can take two down before they put up too much of a fight. You come out of your hiding spot, creeping up behind them with silent steps. They’re to occupied with ripping meat of their prey, and you choose the one at the back to kill first. Determined to make your plan work, you jump forward and clasp your hand around the runners mouth, holding it closed while you stab your knife into its skull and pull him backwards, further away from his infected friends. One raises its head and looks around with wild eyes and bloody mouth, the usual screams coming out before he digs into the moose again. You’re quick to duck and lay on your stomach, knife secure in one hand while you crawl yourself forwards with the other one. Maybe if you throw something into the woods they’ll split up and follow the sound. You feel around for anything heavy to throw and find a rock, weighing it briefly in your hand. That one would have been nice to take home. You think, before throwing it with all your power into the labyrinth of trees. One runner sees the rock connect with a branch and fall to the ground, instantly sprinting towards it. The other one just looks up and drops the flash he’s eating, furiously biting the air. You shake your head in disgust and get up, running over to the infected with your knife held out in front of you. Your blade connects with its chest and you push it in, knocking it down onto the moose and holding his face away from you with your hand. You pull your knife out and aim for the head, but the runners fist connects with your temple and sends you flying to the ground, rolling off the runner and onto the moose. You feel it’s warm blood soaking your clothes and groan, shielding your face just in time to dodge another hit of the runner. He´s trying to scratch and bite into your skin, while you struggle to keep its nasty mouth away from you. “Get off!“ You mumble breathless, anxiously looking for your knife but not seeing it anywhere. At the sound of your fighting, the other runner returns from the woods and looks for the source of the noise, teeth clasping upon each other. You see no other way out and let the runner get to you, waiting until his teeth almost sink into the flesh of your neck before grabbing the head and ripping it to the side with all your strength. You quickly get up and kick the runner that lays beneath you, boots connecting with its skull. You feel the bones breaking beneath your feet and continue bashing its skull in until it stops moving. You have no time to think about what to do next, and simply run. Shit shit shit. You jump over fallen trees and slide beneath some that are too high, the sound of blood rushing through your ears the only sound you hear. Your head hurts and your lungs ache for air and a break, but you push through. You have no idea if the runner follows you or not, but you don’t want to find out. “Y/N!“ You collect with something hard, falling to the ground and wincing as your leg lands on some branches. You look up and see a tall figure standing in front of you. You wipe the mud from your face and blink fast, trying to see clear again. “Joel?“ You squint your eyes and he crouches down, giving you his hand. You take it and he pulls you up into his chest. “What are you doing out here?“ He sounds angry and puts you at arms length. Your face and clothes are covered in a mixture of blood and mud, and your jacket ripped at one arm where the runners nails almost got trough. “I was- Runners.“ You stutter, catching your breath while holding your temple, feeling something warm. “Are you alright?“ Joel runs a hand over your arms and sides, looking for any visible injuries. “I think so, one is still here somewhere.“ You crane your neck to look back, but Joel grabs your chin and makes you look at him. His touch is firm and its clear to see that he’s not amused. “We´re going back. I´v been worried sick looking for you.“ With that he urges you to move in front of him. You sigh, still out of breath and start walking, your leg hurting more with each step. Surely it’s going to form a bruise. “How did you know I was here?“ You ask, hearing Joels heavy steps right behind you. “Tommy saw you slipping out the gate and told me.“ He grumbles. “He told you?“ You try not to sound too confused, but Joel catches up on your tone. „Well-“ He starts, stopping to form his next words before catching up with you. “After what he saw yesterday, he thought I’d like to know. And he was right.“ Joel walks next to you now, sneakily grabbing your shaking hand and slipping his fingers trough yours. You steal a glance into his direction, and he does the same. “Your hand is muddy.“ He says. You snort at the dryness in his statement. “That´s because I was crawling in the mud only minutes ago, in case you didn’t notice.“ You try to pull your hand out of his grip, but he’s only holding tighter onto you. “Don´t do that again.“ His voice softens slightly and your heart melts at the concern written all over his face. “I won´t. For the next couple of days at least.“ You mumble the last part and Joel gives you a warning look, not finding your little comment all too funny. 

“So Tommy knows about us?“ You change the subject and take a deep breath, your lungs still burning. “He knew way before that I like you.“ Joel confesses, staring straight ahead and the tip of his ears turning red. “He´s my brother.“ He shrugs his shoulders and you try to read his face, but can´t pin his emotions. “Why didn’t you make a move before? I mean, I’ve been here for four years and you never gave in to my flirting. I thought you don’t like me that way.“ You quickly wipe over your forehead, getting rid of some of the sweat that collected there. “It´s not easy for me. You’re way younger than I am, you know? It just felt wrong.“ He reasons, grip on your hand loosening. This time, you hold him tight and shake your head. “I don´t care about your age, never have. You cant choose who you feel attracted to.“ You wanted to say love, but stop yourself last minute. “That´s what Tommy told me, too. I just couldn’t believe him. But when we were so close and you touched my face, I don’t know. Something inside of me just snapped.“ Joel´s eyes start to soften and he rubs his thumb along the back of your hand. “I´m glad that it did. I felt guilty for liking you, still do, but it feels good. I haven’t felt like this in a long time.“ He continues, and your heart almost leaps out of your chest, while it breaks at the same time. “You don´t have to feel guilty for liking me, Joel.“ You lean into his side but he stays stiff. “You don´t think I’m holding you back? You could be with someone your age who acutally-“Joel talks but you only hear nonsense coming out of his mouth, so you stop him. “Holding me back? You’re saving my ass and make me feel good. I want you, Joel. No one else, only you.“ You gently grab onto his arm and pull on it to emphasize your words. Joel chuckles and nods his head, sighing in defeat. “I´ll always save your ass.“ He mocks your choice of words and you roll your eyes, smiling. “Good, cause I wouldn’t want it any other way.“ You end the discussion by quickly leaning up, ignoring the pain in your leg, and pressing a soft kiss to his beard. “Now lets go back, I want to get out of these clothes. “Oh, I can help with that.“ Joel winks at you and you blush, grinning from ear to ear. “Maybe another time.“ You teasingly nudge his side and let go of his hand as soon as the gates of Jackson come into sight. You regain your composure and Joel does the same, clearing his throat. “Can I come over later?“ You ask, resting your palms against the top of your jeans. “I´ll be waiting for you.“ Joel gives you a smile and walks towards the gate, you following behind with a little distance. So we’re unofficially official, you think. I can live with that.  

————

Thank you all for the positive feedback, I appreciate it ! Reading your comments makes me really happy :) This chapter is a little shorter than usual, but the next one will be longer (and smutty *cough*), so be ready!

[tlou2holland]

Joel x reader (pt3)

Summary: you and Joel have a chat and it gets a little steamy 

warnings: cursing and a tiny little bit of smut (maybe??) 

you can read the previous parts here: Pt 1.   Pt 2.

A couple of days have passed, and to your disappointment, Joel didn’t show up again to check on you. Instead, he didn’t show up at all, nor to his duties or small gatherings in the evening. You’re too scared to ask anyone about his whereabouts, not wanting your secret to come out, but not seeing Joel for days takes a bigger toll on you than you’d like to admit. So here you are, all grumpy on the usual Saturday-dance, declining anyones offers to dance with you. “What got you so quiet, hmm?“ Dina appears next to you, casually leaning against the bar while you watch the people around you sway to the music. “Just the aftermath of my cold, I guess.“ You sip on your drink and briefly glance over to her. Her hair is all messy and a thin layer of sweat covers her forehead and neck. She looks happy, and beams at you with her freckled face. “Come on, that’s a lame excuse. Is it because of Joel?“ Dina wiggles her thick eyebrows and you slam your glass on the counter, a little harder than intended. “What?“ You look at her, eyes flickering back and forth between her eyes and little smirk. “You like him, don’t you?“ She brushes a strand of hair out of her face and you frown. “Is it that obvious?“ Your stomach starts cramping in an uncomfortable way and you cross your arms. “No, well, kinda. I mean,I see how you look at him. You don´t even care for the other boys here.“ She giggles and you scoff. “Who else is here to care about. Jesse?“ You raise an eyebrow and Dina shakes her head. “Marcus fancies you, you know?“ Dina picks up your glass and takes a sip, cringing at the bitter taste. “Marcus?“ You look around, finding the blonde haired bloke sipping on his beer, talking to Jesse and Seth. “He asks you to dance with him every week, and you always say no!“ Dina hands you your glass and you rest it against your chest, watching Marcus from afar. He´s good looking, with blue eyes and plump lips. He is a little taller than Joel but not as muscular, still fit enough to flex with his muscles from time to time. You sigh and turn to Dina, distress written all over your face. “But I don’t want him, he looks way too young.“ You try to reason, but Dina is not having it. “He´s your age, Y/N. You simply have a thing for older men.“ With that, she grabs your hand and starts pulling you towards the center of the room. “You gonna say no to me, too?“ She moves her shoulders to the beat and forces you to do the same, not letting go of your hand and pulling it towards her from time to time. You chuckle and look at her, a small smile making its way onto your face. “I can´t say no to you.“ With that you start to let loose, and actually have some fun. Ellie joins you two, and you watch with a big grin as she makes a move on Dina. Soon, they dance arm in arm, hands clasped around each others necks and faces dangerously close. You decide to give them some privacy and make your way to the corner, just to escape the heated room. You breathe in the cold night air and exhale, watching your breath fan like a cloud before you. You close the buttons of your blouse and sit on the porch, resting your feet on the steps beneath you. “I see I´m not the only one who wanted to escape for a bit.“ A warm voice says behind you. You turn your head to see Marcus shyly smiling at you. You return the smile and nod. “It´s quite loud in there.“ You rest your arms on your knees and feel Marcus sit down next to you, the smell of lavender soap filling your nostrils. “I´ts nice out here.“ Markus takes a deep breath and looks at you, eyes glossy and cheeks tinted pink. You smell alcohol as he exhales, and look forward. It’s dark and empty on the streets of Jackson, laughter and music coming from inside. “How have you been? Didn´t see you much around these days.“ Marcus tries to strike up a conversation with you, and you sigh. “Can´t complain. Just had a cold, that’s all.“ You press your lips together and Marcus eyes widen. “Why didn’t you tell me! I would have kept you company.“ He bumps his shoulder into yours and you rub the spot with a small smile. “That´s kind, but I wouldn’t want you to get sick.“ With that you get up, not comfortable with how close he’s getting, and turn around one last time. “I´m heading home, see you around.“ You wave at him and wander off, not seeing the disappointed look on his face. You silently curse under your breath, why did Dina have to tell you that Marcus likes you? You would have preferred not to know. You hug your body as you walk over the graveyard, chills erupting along your spine. After all the deaths you’ve witnessed, and brought along others, you still don’t feel comfortable with death. Your own father lays here, and the thought saddens you. He would have liked the life in Jackson, of that you were sure. But he got infected shortly before you made it here, and shot himself to prevent loosing his mind. Tommy and Jesse were the ones to help you carry his body into the camp and carve his tombstone. Joel and Ellie showed you around, taking you in and looking after you while you were still adjusting to your new life and making friends. Maybe that’s why you feel so strongly for Joel, and connect the most with Ellie. Joel, you wonder how he’s holding up. You could stop by his house and pay him a short visit, just to see if he’s alright. If he doesn’t want to see you, you can still go home and hate yourself for ever going. But at least you’d know he´s fine. Mind made up, you turn right instead of taking your usual path home. Joels house isn’t all too far away, and you feel your heartbeat speeding up as you leave another row of houses behind you. Maybe he´s already asleep, you think. But when you make it to his driveway and hear the strumming of his guitar, you know he´s not. Fixing your hair and blouse with your trembling hands, you breathe in and walk towards his porch. There he is, sitting beneath the faint lightning of his lamp, dressed in Jeans and a light brown jacket. He has his head down, pulling on the strings with his long fingers. You listen to the melody he´s playing, and bite your lip when he starts humming a song you don’t recognize. Coming out of the shadow, you clear your throat and make him look up, music dying in an instant. “Hi.“ You say breathless, voice soft and sweet. Joel puts his guitar down and blushes, scratching his neck. „Hi.“ He says back, eyes finally meeting yours. “You heard me sing?“ He asks, hand pointing to his guitar. You just nod and slowly make your way up the steps, dry wood creaking beneath your feet. “Yeah, I didn’t know you could sing.“ You dig your hands into the pockets of your jeans, and Joel watches how your blouse flatters in the wind. “It´s not singing, but I’m glad you didn’t laugh.“ Joel chuckles and you exhale audibly, nerves slowly calming down. He´s not sending me home. “How are you?“ You ask, head tilting slightly to the side. Joel gets up and slowly walks over to you, resting his body against the railing. From this angle he looks younger than usual, and you can´t help it but stare at him. “I uh, did a lot of thinking the past days. Given the time I had due to my cold.“ Joel looks at you with soft eyes and you almost gasp, finding yourself trapped in his gaze. “I got you sick?“ You whisper, feeling guilty. Joel breaks eye contact and turns around to rest his hands on the railing. His face half hidden by shadows, you can´t see his wrinkles and scars, nor the grey hair. He looks handsome, and you wonder what Joel looked like when he actually was your age. Not that he´s not handsome now, the grey hair and scars suit him, but a girl can wonder. “Looks like it. It’s been years since I’ve been this knocked out.“ Joels finger twitch and you watch him caress the wood with his fingertips. “I´m so sorry, I hope you feel better now.“ You start picking on some chapped pieces on the railing, and lower your gaze. “I´m as good as new. You feel better, too?“ Joel looks over to you and you blush under his intense glimpse. “Yeah. As good as new.“ You laugh slightly and Joels lips form into a smile, eyes staring ahead. “What have you been thinking about?“ You ask after some minutes of silence, dying to hear his voice again. “You.“ He states, making you cough in surprise. “Me?“ You ask in disbelief, insecurity tying your stomach in knots again. “It´s just-“ Joel turns his body towards you and you suppress the urge to brush some hair out of his pretty face. “It's been a while since I’ve been with someone. Actually, its been so long, I didn’t even think about it for years.“ Joel briefly looks into your eyes before continuing, mouth opening and closing once. “I don´t know what happened that I’m suddenly thinking about it. Being with someone, I mean.“ Joel shrugs and you reach out, carefully touching his face and brushing your thumb over his temple. “I don´t know how you feel about me, but I know that I like you.“ You confess, hand still resting against his cheek. He doesn’t pull away, so you take it as a good sign and continue. “but I don’t know where this is going, and it scares me.“ You whisper the last part, heart beating painfully inside your chest. He can crush your heart if he wants to, you just gave it to him, a man you’ve known for almost four years. Joel just looks at your face and deep wrinkles form on his forehead, a grumble erupting from his throat. “We can find out.“ He whispers back, voice shaking slightly but still sounding gruff. He grabs your wrist and rests his thumb on your pulse, leaning into your hand. His stubble tickles your palm and you can feel the little hairs bending beneath your hand as you run it along his jaw, taking in every small detail of his face. “I really like you.“ You mumble, entranced by his eyes that almost appear black due to the lack of light. “I really like you, too.“ Joel slides his hand over the railing so your fingers touch, and covers your fingertips with his own. They feel warm and rough, a nice contrast to your cold and soft ones. “Do you want to come inside, have a coffee with me?“ Joel looks at your intertwined fingers and your stomach does a flip. “You have coffee? Where did you get that?“ Your mouth pulled into a half smile, Joel pushes himself away from the railing and lets his hand slide from yours. He grabs his guitar and opens his door, waiting for you to step inside. “The people that came here last week-“He starts while you slip past him, shoulder brushing his chest. “They had some coffee with them. I´m kinda embarrassed what I had to give them in exchange, but it’s not too bad.“ He closes the door and peels of his jacket,  hanging it onto a hanger on the wall, guitar resting next to it. You try not to look around too much, and wring your hands together instead, waiting for him to guide you into the kitchen. “What did you trade?“ “I´m not telling you that.“ Joel laughs and you frown, but it disappears as soon as he touches your lower back. “This way.“ He gently pushes you forward and into his kitchen, slipping his arm around your waist and resting you against the counter. “Your house is nice.“ You say, growing hot under his touch. “Ellie helped me decorate it.“ Joel squeezes your hip before pulling away and boiling some water, back turned towards you. His shirt clings onto his bicep and stretches at the back, making it hard for you to look away. It’s been a while since you got close with a man, and to see Joel like that sure does things to you. You lick your lips and try to keep your thoughts innocent, but your mind and heart where drowning in Joel. It sounds pathetic, but he is all you could think about at the moment. “liking what you see?“Joel turns around and catches you staring, an amused smile on his lips. You feel like he purposefully flexes his bicep and you groan. “Stop being a tease.“ You look away, heart swelling at Joels laughter. “It´s nice to know I still got it in me.“ Joel says, making you furrow you brows. “Got what in you?“ You ask, hands cupping the counter behind you. “making woman weak in their knees.“ Joel lifts the kettle from the oven and fills two mugs with the boiling liquid. “Now you’re getting cocky.“ You joke, embarrassment vanishing at the playful atmosphere. “Oh yeah, so there’s no reason you’re holding onto that counter?“ Joel quickly traps you in place, knee bumping between your legs. Your hands automatically find their way to his chest and you wonder Do I now get to do this whenever I want? 

“That was an awful pun.“ You shake your head, voice slowly getting stuck in your throat. “No pun intended.“ Joel mumbles, making nonsense but you don’t care anyways. What you care about are his strong hands on your hip, lifting you on the counter until he stands in between your legs. The Mable is cold beneath your bum and you jump forward slightly, wrapping your legs around Joels hip. Your fronts press together and his breath mingles with your own, lips almost touching. “You drive me mad.“ Joel´s lip ghosts your cupids bow and you tilt your head back to feel his lips on yours. “makes two of us.“ With that, you wrap your arms around his neck and burry your hand into his thick hair, pulling on the greying strands. Your legs hooked behind his hip, you push your heels into his lower back and inch him even closer. You can feel his arms tense as they wrap around your middle and eagerly pull on your blouse, revealing your soft flesh. “Arm´s up.“ You mumble, mimicking Joels actions and pulling on his shirt while your tongues dance together. He obliges and lifts his arms, shirt flying somewhere near the living room. You wish you could take some time and just look at him, take everything in, but there’s no time as his mouth is already attacking yours again with hot kisses. All the small grunts you emit from him sound like honey in your ears, and you grind against him, cheeks burning up. “Your turn.“ Joel groans, impatiently toying with the buttons on your blouse until he has them all open and slides the fabric of your shoulder. There you are, sitting only in jeans and your bra, chest rising and falling rapidly. “You´re so pretty.“ Joel kisses you again and works his fingers on your bra, slowly trying to unhook it. He gets stuck with the last bit and you help him, a giggle escaping your lips. Joel laughs and leans his forehead against yours. “I told you its been a while.“ He runs his thumb along your breast and you shiver, arching into him. “It´s been a while for me, too.“ Your hand slowly creeps towards the center of his jeans, sneakily slipping between your two bodies and opening the front. Joel sighs heavily and hides his face in your neck, sucking on the sensitive skin. You feel him grow in your palm and the heat in your core gets unbearable, so you rub yourself against his thigh in need for some release. “Let me touch-“ The slamming of the front door cuts through Joels words and you pull your hands out of his jeans, immediately going to cover up yourself. Joel looks around confused and shields you with his body, trying to make out the source of the noise. “Joel? Are you there I- Oh shit!“ Tommy walks in and covers his eyes when he sees you, half naked on the counter. He turns around and stifles a laugh, hand wiping under his nose while he rocks back and forth on his heels. “I guess you need that.“ He bends forward and throws Joels shirt at you, another laugh slipping past his lips. “Take it.“ Joel softly pulls it over your head and you slip your arms trough, eyes scanning the floor for your blouse but you can´t find it. Joel crosses his arms in front of his chest and leans against the counter, an annoyed expression on his face. “This is so embarrassing.“ You whisper, hiding your face behind your hands and slipping away from Joel, toes touching the ground again. “Tommy?“ Joel growls impatiently, mad at his brother for ruining the moment. “Can I turn around without seeing something I shouldn’t see?“ Tommy cranes his neck and you rub your temple. “Oh my god.“ You fix your hair and Joel seems uncomfortable as well, torso exposed to the air that suddenly doesn’t feel so hot anymore. “Joel and Y/N, what a surprise.“ Tommys voice drips with sarcasm and you groan, wishing for the earth to swallow you. “What do you want, Tommy?“ Joel gives you an apologetic look and Tommy hides his hands in his pockets. “I wanted to talk with you about furthering securing the gates, but I see you’re busy.“ He looks over to you and casually waves, finding your embarrassment more than amusing. “That´s alright, I was about to, ehm.“ You cough and search for your bra, without success. “Looking for this?“ Tommy points to his left and you nod, rushing to collect your bra. “I was about to leave, anyways.“ You finish, cringing at your own lie. With the piece of lace in your hands and Joels shirt around your body, you storm out of the door without looking back. Could it have gone any worse? 

[tlou2holland]

Joel x Reader (Pt2)

Summary: After patrol, you catch a cold and Joel takes care of you.You meet up with Ellie, and talk with her. 

you can read the previous part here: Pt 1

Tommy, Seth, Joel and You are riding along the village, no words exchanged. All of you are tired and cold, covered in dirt and blood that mostly wasn’t your own. After Joel and you cleaned the supermarket and found some snacks and towels to take back with you, you met with the others as planned. Seth and Tommy were even more unlucky than you and had to deal with a small horde of clickers. Accordingly bad is the mood, and even Seth shuts up for once. “Hey Y/N?“ Tommy slows down his horse and falls into the same step as you. “Yeah?“ You answer scratching your neck, voice a little hoarse. “Are you alright?“ Tommy points to your face and you raise an eyebrow. “What do you mean?“ You touch your chin and cheek, but don’t feel anything. “It looks like you got a rash or something.“ Tommy shrugs his shoulders and you almost choke on your own spit, looking over to Joel. He has a little smirk but doesn’t look at you. “Oh, I think its from wearing the mask for so long. I bet it is gone tomorrow.“ You laugh shyly and Tommy looks at Joel, then back at you. “If you say so.“ You don’t respond to that, but slow down your horse a little so you fall back. You sigh, and touch your lips. They are still sensitive, and so is the area around it. You send some silent prayers to whoever might listen, that your skin will calm down before you make it back to Jackson. Tommy can be fooled, but your friends? Jesse would tease the shit out of you and so would Dina. Ellie wouldn’t be too amused tho, or would she be okay with it? You anxiously bite your nails, what have you done?

“Don´t get too lost back there.“ Joels deep voice pulls you out of your thoughts and you ignore the tingling in your chest. “I´m coming.“ You pull the strings of your sweater tight and hurry to get back to the group. “Jesse won’t believe me when I tell him what he missed out on.“ You joke to lighten the mood, and Joel chuckles. “So you enjoyed what happened today?“ He looks at you with his hazel eyes and you wish to lean over and wipe this little smirk off his face. “only some parts.“ You say blushing, catching a quick glimpse of Joels lips. They look rough but felt so soft, you must give the man some credit for his kissing skills.         “Me too.“Joel winks at you and turns his head back to the front, ending the conversation. Your mouth parts and closes again, was he teasing you? “Oh boy.“ You mumble, sinking deeper into the saddle and hiding your chin beneath the collar of your jacket. Chewing on the zipper, you start counting the remaining traffic signs you pass on your way back. It ain’t many, but enough to occupy your mind until the familiar gates of Jackson come into view. 

“Finally! I thought something happened to you guys.“ Maria stands in front of the gate, worryingly checking her husband for any injuries. Tommy just laughs at that and climbs off his horse with a loud thud. “You have no idea. I´m done with patrolling for the rest of the week.“ He shakes his head and greets Maria with a kiss, cupping her bum until she swats his hand away. “Y/N, next time you change your assignment with Jesse, please let me know. He didn’t tell me and I send some people looking for you. We were all worried sick.“ She points her finger at you but lowers it seconds later, her gaze softening. “I am sorry, it won’t happen again.“ You apologize and get off your horse, bum and legs feeling sore while your feet prickle uncomfortably at the sudden movement. You shuffle from one foot to the other, while wringing the rein in your hands. “I´ll go and rest a bit, see you all later.“ You awkwardly look between Joel and Maria and leave before either can say another word. You are tired and cold, and just want to be alone for some hours. Your horse looks tired too, and you gently pet his neck while bringing it back into the stalls. “See you tomorrow, lovely.“ You give it over to one of the stable boys and quickly cross Jackons Alleys, keeping your head down and taking the shortest route to your home. “Finally.“ With a distressed sigh, you push the door to your home open and step inside. You groan when your heavy backpack hits the floor and your neck and shoulders can finally move again. Removing your dirty clothes, you slip into more comfortable ones and prepare some hot water on the stove. You wait for it to form its first bubbles, then you slide the pot onto the counter and grab a nearby cloth. The water is comfortably warm on your skin as you begin to wash the dried blood and dirt from your hands and face. Wringing the cloth inside the water, it turns light red and you repeat the progress until you feel clean enough to lay down. “What a day.“ Your feet are killing you and you feel like you didn’t sleep for days, but it’s only midday. A quick nap, you tell yourself, and I’ll feel as good as new.

So you lay down, eyes closing on their own as sleep washes over you. You wake up hours later, and your surrounding is pitch black. No light, no sun, and no noises from outside. The only sound comes from your door, as someone repeatedly knocks against it, gaining force with each second. “I´m coming!“ You say groggily, mind still sleepy and body aching even worse than before.You pry the door open and see a tall figure with broad shoulders standing on your doorstep. “Joel?“ You step back to let him in, and for a second its completely dark again when he steps in and closes the door. Your fingers dance along the wall until you find the little switch and turn the light on. There he stood, a lunchbox in his hand and deep wrinkles on his forehead. “I just wanted to check up on you, uh, you missed dinner and Jesse said he didn’t see you, so…“ Joel scratches his neck and holds the box out for you to take. “Thank you.“ You take it and brush his fingers in the progress, being thankful for the low lightning or else he would have seen you blush. “I was really tired and I don’t know, knocked out I guess. I was aiming for a nap but woke up just now.“ You open the lid and lick your lips at the food inside, although you don’t feel hungry at all. “Today was tiring, I give you that.“ Joel looks around and points to the red water inside the pot. “You sure you’re okay?“ “It´s not mine. How’s your cheek holding up?“ Without further thinking you step forward and crane your neck to get a look at it. “can´t complain, thanks for taking care of it.“ Joel runs a hand over his beard and rocks back and forth on his heels. “You should let me clean it again, to get the fresh blood off.“ You rush to your kitchen counter and put the lunchbox down, before emptying the used pot in the sink and refilling it with clean water. “Sit down, its only going to take some minutes.“ You don´t know why, but you were looking for an excuse to have Joel around you for a little while longer. You wrap your arms around yourself as you wait for the water to boil, feeling the cold creep up your bones once again. “Are you cold?“ Joel asks after some seconds of watching you. You turn around and give him a reassuring smile. “A little, I think the heater is broken or something.“ “Let me have a look at it.“ Joel is quick to get up again and walk over to you, cornering you between him and the counter. “It´s next to my bed.“ You whisper, laying a hand on his arm to slip past. Your touch is tender and you let your hand linger for a second, before sliding it down and wrapping it around your own arm again. Joel watches your every move and follows you, almost bumping into you when you stop. “It´s right here.“ You lean forward and grab the tiny heater with one hand, trying to pull it forward. “Let me.“ 

Joel´s breath fans over your ear and you feel his chest pressing up against your back. His arms engulf you as he reaches over and takes the electrical heater from you, bringing it forward with ease. “Thank you.“ Your head turns to the side, lips almost meeting his cheek given the proximity you share. I could kiss him again, you think. But a sudden itch in your nose keeps you from doing so, and you dodge your head just in time to the side, a loud sneeze emitting from your throat. “Bless you.“ Joel steps around you and crouches down to get a proper look at the heater. You thank him, slightly embarrassed, and return to your previous position on the stove. What a mood killer. “The heater is working just fine, you simply forgot to turn it on.“ Joel pushes the heater back towards your bed, and brushes his hands on his jeans before getting up. “I´m so forgetful sometimes.“ You slap your forehead and rest the other arm on your hip. “Still, thank you for checking.“ “It´s alright, everyone forgets stuff sometimes.“ Joel leans himself against your wall and watches you soak a cloth in the hot water. A comfortable silence settles between you two, but as you get closer and your chests almost touch, there is this feeling inside your belly again that almost makes you drop the cloth. Joel clears his throat and studies your facial features, liking the way your nose wrinkles when you concentrate, or how your eyes search his face for any damage. “Can you, um, lean down a little? I can´t really see what I´m doing.“ You sheepishly get on your toes and grab onto his shoulder for support, while his arm winds around your waist. He tilts his head down so your faces are on the same level, and closes his eyes at your touch. “What happened today, between us, I-“ He begins, lips brushing your wrist while he speaks. You feel your heart slide into your tummy and interrupt him. “I won´t tell Ellie, or anyone else. Don´t worry about it.“ You try to play it cool, but Joel opens his eyes and gives you a soft look. “That´s not what I was going to say. Just let me talk, okay?“ His voice is quiet but raspy, and you manage a nod. You try to put your focus on cleaning his cheek, but there is not much left to clean, anyways. “I don´t know what came over me or why I kissed you, but it felt nice. And I just hope I didn’t make you feel uncomfortable. I know I´m too old for you, but I-“ You interrupt him again, this time by slamming your lips against his and pulling on his thick hair. “I liked it, too.“ You mumble, tongue slipping past his lips and exploring his mouth. Joel grabs you by the waist and pulls you closer, applying slight pressure to your spine and making you arch into him. Your chests touch and your sweater slips up a little, exposing the soft flesh of your tummy. Joel groans and pulls away to take a proper look at you. “You liked it?“ He asks, before he stumbles forward and grabs both of your cheeks, kissing you harder than before. You hold onto his wrists and  tilt your head to the side to give him better access, noses bumping into each other. His beard burns on your sensitive skin, but you like the feeling and find yourself scratching the hairs with your fingernails. “Joel.“ You whisper breathlessly as his fingers slip underneath your sweater and brush over the fabric of your bra. A hot knot formed in your stomach, but there is this itch in your nose again that makes you pull away in an instant. “I think I have to-“You don’t get to finish your sentence as another sneeze shakes your body and makes you blow into the cloth you still clutched in your hand. “That´s disgusting, I am so sorry.“ You throw the cloth into the sink and wipe your nose with the sleeve of your sweater before turning back around. Joel still stands there, neck a deep shade of red and a concerned look in his eyes. He fixes his hair with one hand and extends the other to touch your forehead. “You´re hot.“ He says, mouth slipping into a frown. “Thank you, you don’t look too bad yourself.“ You tease, but Joel shakes his head. “No, I mean you’re burning up.“ He lets his hands fall to his side and your mouth drops open. “Ohh, but I feel fine. Don´t worry.“ You hide your hands in the pockets of your sweater and anxiously fiddle with your fingers. “You are tired, and have a fever. Doesn’t sound fine to me.“ Joel crosses his arms over his chest and you sigh dramatically. “Fine, maybe I got a small cold or something.“ You wave it off but Joel extends his arms and grabs you by the shoulders. “I am going to make you your food and some tea, while you go and lay back down. We can´t afford you to get sick, kiddo.“ “Kiddo?“ You snort, hand lazily coming up to cover your laugh. “Weird nickname to call someone you just sucked face with.“ You giggle and Joel rolls his eyes, letting go of you to let you sit on the bed. “Right now you are acting like a child.“ He sounds serious but you can tell by the glint in his eyes that he’s joking. “I´m too old to be a kid. Not as old as you, obviously-“You say, eyes teasingly scanning Joel up and down. “But old enough to be with older man, without it being illegal. Not that it would matter these days.“ You let yourself fall back into the bed, legs dangling over the edge. Your body feels heavy, but your heart is racing inside your chest. Never, not in a hundred years, did you think you’d kiss Joel Miller twice in one day, AND get taken care of by him. He´s been nothing but nice to you before, and you guys always had this playful banter going on, leading to your little crush, but that was it. He made sure to keep his distance and not cross any borders, so what made him change his mind? Its not like you never tried anything, but you always thought he was too blind to ever notice. “That´s good to know, wouldn’t want to kiss a child.“ Joel sounds far away, although he’s just in the kitchen and you clasp your hands together in front of your chest. “Ha ha, very funny. I don´t even look like a kid. Jesse thought I was in my thirties when he first saw me.“ “So you’re not?“ Joel walks over to you with a bowl of food in one, and Tea in the other hand. “No! I´m 27. Thought you’d know that.“ You act offended and crawl over to the other side of the bed to make Joel some space, hoping he’ll stay a little longer. “I was only joking.“ He hands you your bowl and places the tea onto the ground before he carefully sits down and rests his torso against the headboard. “Are you okay? With me staying a bit?“ He asks, brushing over his beard. “Of course, I enjoy your company.“ You swirl your spoon and push the food around, but your throat tightens at the thought of having to eat. “Come on, don’t do that.“ Joel gives you a warning look and you rest the bowl in your lap. “Do what?“ You ask. “Playing with the food, you have to eat something.“ He pushes the bowl back into your hands and you throw your head back. “I´m not hungry.“ You pout and pick up the spoon again, only to drop it seconds later. “You´ll regret not eating in the morning, trust me. At least take some bites. I didn´t see you eat all day.“ Joel keeps his eyes on you and you grow uneasy under his stare. “Fine.“ With long teeth you force the spoon up to your mouth and start chewing some of the food. The taste is alright, but you still frown. “One spoon isn’t enough, come on and eat up. You just told me you’re not a child.“ Joel raises his eyebrows and you suppress the urge to stick your tongue out. “I´m eating!“ You put another spoonful into your mouth and chew fast to get it down. After a couple more bites, you feel way too full and drop the bowl for good. “If you still want me to drink my tea, I cant take another bite or else I´m gonna throw up.“ You try to reason your lack of appetite. Joel sighs but takes the bowl from you in defeat, handing you your tea instead. “I´ll check up on you again tomorrow, and then you’ll eat a proper meal.“ Joel rotates his shoulder blades and looks at his watch. You have no clue how he actually reads the time through the cracked glass, but he gets up nevertheless. “It´s getting late, and I´m supposed to talk with Tommy and Maria in the morning. I´ll see you around, okay?“ Joel gives you a final look, and you’re quick to grab his hand. Its rough and warm, and you brush your thumb over his. “Thank you.“ “No problem, sleep well.“ Joel looks at your hands and leans down, giving you a quick kiss on the forehead. You let him go and he walks out of your house, heavy boots crunching the leaves on your doorstep. He must like me at least a little bit, you think to yourself. Otherwise he wouldn’t care for me. With that thought in your head and the tiniest smile on your lips, you continue to sip on your tea. 

“Y/N?“ Loud banging on your door awakes you once again, and you stir from your previous slumber. “Hmm?“ You sit up and rub your eyes, daylight shining through your window. “Can I come in?“ You recognize the voice to belong to Ellie, and hastily get up. Overnight, your nose became clogged and you feel a headache forming, but that’s nothing you couldn’t handle. “I´m coming!“ You rush to your door and open up, meeting Ellie on your porch. She has her bow slung around her shoulder and some arrows in her bag. “Did I wake you?“ She asks with an amused voice. You just roll your eyes and let her in, trotting back into your bedroom to change. “I was about to get up.“ You quickly shake up your bedsheets to let them ventilate before discreetly smelling your armpits. Smells good enough to you, which is why you skip your shower. Ellie chuckles at that and watches you search for something clean and warm to wear. Ellie wears her usual flannel and a rain jacket on top, dressed in sneaker despite the chilly weather. “What exactly happened yesterday? Maria was quite worried for you guys.“ Ellie mindlessly glides her hand over the kitchen counter and you shrug, poking your head trough a long sleeved shirt. “Infected got in our way, forced us to split up.“ You jump up and down to pull your jeans high and secure them with your belt. “I should have been with you guys.“ Ellie mumbles, poking out her lips. You walk over to her and rest your hip on the doorway. “We managed quite alright. Did Jesse already talk with you?“ You grab your jacket from the chair and swing it over your shoulders, missing out on Ellies blushed cheeks. “He told you?“ She asks, brows pulled together. “Ehm yeah, and even if he didn’t.. Word kinda got around.“ You cough shortly and give her a teasing smile, but Ellie runs a hand over her face. “Thats embarrassing.“ She shakes her head and you do the same. “It´s just a kiss, Ellie. Let people talk.“ You step into your boots and start binding the strings when Ellie puffs out air next to you. “I´m so stupid.“ She lets her eyes wander anywhere but to you, and you sigh. “Why? Its nothing serious, unless you like her.“ You mumble the last part but Ellies sudden shrinking of her shoulders makes you look at her. “You like her?“ You ask, but it sounds more like a statement. Ellie just shrugs and you stop tying your shoes.

“Look, I don’t know Dina´s intentions, but she can be lucky to have you.“ You look at your friend and Ellie bites her lip. “Joel said the same thing.“ Before you can respond, Ellie shoves your knife towards you and hands you your backpack. “Let´s go hunting.“ She walks in front of you while you hurry to close your door and not trip over the slippery mud. “I think we have to slip past the east gate, before Maria or Tommy see us.“ You close your jacket and breathe through your mouth while Ellie plays with the bow on her shoulder. “I know, this way.“ She takes you over the graveyard to another settlement of houses, sneaking past some backyards and finally to the gate. “Where do you want to go this time?“ You ask, still unfamiliar with the routes Ellie likes to explore. It became a thing between you two, to just sneak out from time to time and go hunting together. Most times you don’t even catch anything, but its nice to escape the judging eyes of Jackson for a bit and just talk with each other. And somehow, you feel like Ellie needs someone to talk to today. “Probably not the woods, I was thinking about the riverside up the hills?“ Ellie gives you a questioning look and you grab your knife. “Sounds good to me.“ Together, you sneak through the fence and rush out of eyesight so no-one spots you two. After climbing up some rocks and balancing along narrow pathways, you pause, slightly out of breath. “are there even rabbits this high up?“ You wonder, nose running so you wipe it on your sleeve. “Maybe, I saw one a couple days ago.“ Ellie stops as well and brushes her hair out of her face, her bun at the back of her head getting loose. “You came up here without me?“You feign hurt and clasp your heart. “Needed somewhere to think and be alone for a while.“ Ellie pulls out an arrow and lets the tip circle around her fingertip. “What´s wrong?“ You continue walking and watch a small rivulet flowing down between some rocks. “The usual. Joel getting into my life and Seth being a dick.“ She waves you off and occupies her hands with grabbing her bow, pulling back the string and positioning her arrow. “You know Joel just worries for you, you and Tommy are all he has left.“ You try to reason, but Ellies annoyed huff makes you shut up. “He´s harassing Jessie because of my patrols.“ She straightens her back and lets the arrow slip from her fingertips. The arrow swirls through the air and lands in a nearby tree, bark flying everywhere. “and pushes Seth for what he said to me.“ She gets a new arrow out of her back and repeats the progress, this time aiming for a different tree. “I don´t see what’s wrong with that. Sure, he should ask you first if you need his help, but after all he just worries and wants you to be safe.“ You pick up some small stones and flick them into the water. Ellie turns around, bow still taut. “He doesn’t get to do that anymore!“ She sounds angry, and only lowers her bow when she sees your shocked face. “Sorry.“ She looks uncomfortable, and you swallow, headache pounding at the back of your head. “It´s okay. We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.“ You smile at her and walk over to the tree to pull the arrow out. You know something happened between Ellie and Joel for both of them being so tensed around each other, but its not your place to push Ellie into telling you everything. Although sometimes, you wish that she did. On the other side, you don’t tell her everything either. “You´ve ever been this far up?“ Ellie points to the peak of the hill and you groan. “No, but I guess you want to go there?“ Your legs already hurt, but Ellies small smile makes you push trough the pain. “You owe me one.“ You accusingly point your finger at her and give her back her arrow, the aim to actually hunt long forgotten. “You say that now, wait until you see the view.“ Ellie looks back over her shoulders and gives you a shy smile. “First of all I have to make it there without suffocating first.“ You joke, lungs itching if you breathe in too deep. “You have a cold or something?“ Ellie asks, eying you up and down. You push past her and use your hands to grab onto a particular high rock, pulling yourself up and climbing onto the next level. “I think so, Joel was really-“You stop yourself, almost biting your tongue. “What?“ Ellie climbs up behind you, head craned to hear you better. “Nothing, how far is it till we’re there?“ You look up and count the rocks you still have to conquer. Way too many, for your liking. “Go right, there should be a small path we can walk up.“ Ellie waits for you to move over and shows you the way, balancing carefree over the muddy ground. “God you’re not scared of heights?“ You clench your fists to get some feeling into your numb fingers. “I am, I just don’t look down.“ Ellie giggles and you hold back an amused smile, giggles were very unlike Ellie. “Wow, Ellie is scared of something.“ You tease, voice full of sarcasm. “Hey, I´m scared of a lot of things.“ Ellie waits for you to take her hand and helps you with the final steps, your shoes slipping in the mud. “for example?“ You ask while she pulls you up, her hand just as cold as yours. “I´m scared of ending up alone.“ Ellie releases your hand and strolls towards the cliff. “You have Dina, Jesse, Tommy, Joel.. and me.“ You lay a hand on her shoulder and gently squeeze. “You´re not getting rid of us so easy.“ You shove her with your elbow and she rubs the spot with a laugh. “Ow! So I´m stuck with you?“ She looks at you and then lets her eyes roam the panorama in front of you. You do the same and silently gasp, seeing all of Jackson and the surrounding woods. It looks so small from up here, and you smile. 

“You´re stuck with me.“ 

--------------------

I´m planing to write multiple chapters, so stay tuned :)

[tlou2holland]

Joel Miller x Reader

I‘m thinking about making a series out of this!

Warnings: cursing, killing of infected, age difference

Summary: you and Joel are on patrol, when the events take a surprising turn.

“Hey Y/N, wait!“ A familiar voice calls out behind you. You stop your way to your home and turn around to find Jesse walking up to you. “Hi Jesse.“ You wave and smile, waiting for him to catch up. “What´s the matter?“ You ask after walking in silence for some seconds. “You know I am supposed to be on Patrol this morning?“ Jesse scratches his neck and looks at you. You nod and wave your hand in front of you. “I know, come to the point.“ You teasingly poke him in the ribs with your elbow and wait for him to finish. You kind of already have an idea where this was going, tho. “Could you maybe jump in for me? I wanted to talk to Dina and Ellie.“ Jesse looks nervous and you smile at him.You love going on Patrols. “sure, but you’ll do my fieldwork for the day. Deal?“ You extend your hand and Jesse shakes it. “Deal.“ He continues to walk with you to your house, and you take it as a chance to ask him some questions. “Who else is on Patrol?“ You look at your fingers and pick the dirt out from beneath your nails. “Oh, its group patrol. Tommy and Joel will be there for sure.“ Jesse shrugs his shoulders and you nod. „Cool, I like them.“ You look up and find Jesse smirking at you, his black hair flying in the wind. “sure you like him.“ He wiggles his eyebrows and you groan. “Oh shut up! He´s way too old for me.“ You shake your head laughing, but Jesse doesn’t budge. “No one cares about age these days, you said so yourself. I´d definitely fuck Joel if-“ Jesse talks in a high pitched voice but you stop him by slapping his arm. “Shut it! I was drunk when I said that.“ You couldn’t bite back your own smile any longer and hide your face behind your hands, cheeks growing hot. “Don´t worry, your secret is safe with me.“ Jesse pats your shoulder and you shrug him off, deciding to pay him back. “How kind of you. What is so important to talk about with Dina and Ellie, that you miss out on Patrol, anyways?“ You bite your lip and watch him blush, step fastening slightly to get faster to your house. “They kissed, and Ellie is avoiding me. Dina too. I want to talk to them to let them know there are no hard feelings, Dina can kiss whoever she wants.“ Jesse´s eyes meet yours for a second and you take in a sharp breath. “Sounds awkward. Is it really okay with you? I mean, Dina and you broke up last week.“ You kick a stone in front of you and watch it slide over the slippery mud. “Yeah, Dina and I are cool. She’s still important to me, obviously. But I like Ellie, I know she’s not playing games with her.“ Jesse hides his hands in his pockets and you do the same. “Yeah, Ellie wouldn’t do that. Don´t be mad, but I think Dina and Ellie would actually make a really cute couple.“ You say smiling, while thinking about your friends. “I´m not mad.“ Jesse laughs and stops as your house comes into sight. “Patrol starts in an hour, just meet the others at the gate.“ Jesse stomps his foot into the ground and you continue walking, turning around to walk backwards. “Alright, good luck with your little chat.“ You wave and smile one last time, Jesse doing the same. As soon as you enter the warm comfort of your home, you shrug off your jacket and throw it over a nearby chair, not before removing your shoes. Your fingers are freezing so you rub them together, looking around your room that once used to be a garage, to pack your backpack. Your home wasn’t big, but definitely big enough for you. You have everything you need, including a small cooking space and bedroom. “Okay, for Patrol I definitely need warmer clothes.“ You talk to yourself, grabbing a worn hoodie you once found in a mall to dress it on top of your current shirt. Next, you grab your favorite knife from the counter and stuff it into the belt of your jeans, along with a smaller one and your gun. Your backpack rests in the corner, shotgun and an empty bottle poking out. You hang the shotgun onto the backpacks side and prepare your backpack, more weapons and some clean rags with alcohol going inside, just to make sure. After you’re done, you decide to help Tommy prepare the horses and slide the backpack onto your shoulders, a sigh leaving your lips at the heavy feeling. Boots and Jacket being put back on, you leave your house and march to the nearby stalls, feeling a little excited to be out in the wild again after three weeks of not going. “Morning Tommy.“ You knock onto a wooden pole to make Tommy aware of your  presence, and pet the nearest horse with a smile. “Oh, morning Y/N. Aren´t you supposed to be on the fields today?“ Tommy picks up a saddle and carries it over to his horse. You take your own one out of its box and start to prepare it. “No, I mean, yes. But I swapped with Jesse. Hope that’s alright.“ You take a brush to quickly clean the horses fur and saddle it after you’re done. “Of course, you’re a better shooter than Jesse, anyway.“ Tommy laughs and starts to prepare the next horse, while you laugh with him. “I simply had a good teacher.“ You take his and your horse, and walk them outside. “Meet you at the gate?“ You ask over your shoulder. “Yeah, I won’t be long.“ Tommy disappears into a box and you gently pull on the reins in your hand. “Come on guys, let’s go.“ The horses follow you and you’re quick to arrive at the gate, Seth and Joel already waiting. “Good morning.“ You greet them, a blush on your cheeks from the cold. “Where´s Jesse?“ Seth asks grumpily, grey brows knitted together. “We changed shifts.“ You shrug your shoulders and move your head, not interested into having a conversation with a man that offended two of your closest friends. “We don´t need a little girl out on patrol with us, She´ll only-“  “She killed more infected than you, Y/N can take good care of herself.“ Joel steps forward and his hazel eyes look at you. You smile shyly and nod, silently thanking him. Joel looks tired, lips firmly pressed together and backs under his eyes. “She´s your responsibility then, I ain’t saving her ass.“ Seth frowns and you give him a cold look. “Good, cause I won’t save your ass, either.“ Joel chuckles at that and takes Tommys horse from you, staying by your side. Seth just gives you another look and turns around, arms crossed. “I don´t get it why he has to be such a dick.“ You mumble under your breath, not even trying to hide your disking for Seth. Joel briefly eyes you up and down and takes in a long breath. “I asked myself the same thing.“ Joel scratches his beard and you try not to stare, watching him out of the corner of your eye. “How´s Ellie? I mean, after what happened at the dance.“ Joel rests his arm on the saddle and stands crosslegged, body turned towards you. “I don´t know, think she’s good tho. Ellie is tough.“ You lick your lips and push some leafs around your feet. “She is.“ Joel exhales and plays with the wristband of his watch, deep in thought. You want to ask how Joel is feeling, but decide against it. He rarely opens up, and you don’t want to push him. “Let´s leave before the weather changes for the worst.“ Tommy appears from behind you, two horses trotting next to him. Seth and Joel take their horses and get ready, while you do the same. “Open the gate!“ Tommy and Seth build the front while you and Joel follow closely behind. “Be safe, and come back if something is too big for you.“ The man at the gate opens it painfully slow, and closes it as soon as your horses set foot outside of Jackson. The chilly autumn air makes you shiver and you’re quick to pull the hood of your sweater over your head. “Alright, we’ll take the shortcut threw the woods and stop at the old town, scan the mall and supermarket for any infected, then come back. Okay?“ Tommy shouts over his shoulder, the heavy stomping of hooves on the ground underlining his words. “Got it.“ Joel grumbles, hunched over his horse and reins tight in his hand. You gently urge your horse to run faster, and follow your companions into the woods. Branches sway dangerously in the wind and small pieces of wood break under the horses weight. You close your eyes for a second and just listen, your breathing mixed with the chirping of birds and water running in a nearby river. If it wasn’t for the infected, you could stay outside forever. You open your eyes just in time to register movement to your right, slowing down slightly. “Whats wrong?“ Joel asks, pulling on the reins and slowing down as well. “Something is out there.“ You point to the bushes and alert Tommy as well, all eyes searching for any signs of danger. Just when you thought you were only imagining things, three runners come sprinting towards you. Their mouths are wide open as they scream and scratch the air with their bloody hands, head twitching from left to right. “Runners!“ You shout, before quickly pulling out your gun and shooting the closest one. The body drops to the floor, but that doesn’t stop the other two from trying to attack you and your horse. You aim for the next one and pull the trigger at the same time as Joel, two more bodies dropping to the ground. “We have to go, the gunshots will only attract more!“ Seth kicks his horse in the rips and starts galloping along the uneven earth, Tommy following close behind. “This way.“ Joel and you follow, leaning forward to get a better view of your surroundings. “More runners to your left!“Tommy makes a sharp right turn and slits the throat of a runner that got dangerously close to Seth. You gasp and almost run into a tree, dodging it last second. You look behind you and a string of curses leave your lips. “Fuck, they’re coming from everywhere!“ You take out a handful with your gun, the echo of the shots almost as loud as their screaming nonsense. “We have to split up!“ Tommy struggles to load his riffle and Seth isn’t much of a help, not even looking back to check up on you guys. You and Joel on the other hand work like a team, keeping each others backs free and shooting every runner that only dared to get close to Tommy. “Seth watch out!“ You scream breathless, hastily grabbing your small knife and throwing it blade first ahead of you. You’re lucky and it lands inside the eye of a runner who was cutting off Seth´s way, making him drop to the ground. Seth´s eyes widen in shock, and he looks back at you. „T-Thank you.“ He stutters before making another left turn and finally killing some runners himself. “It´s too many.“ Joel curses, gun tightly in one, and reins in the other hand. “Y/N, Joel, you go to the supermarket. Seth and I take the mall, we meet in the village. Hurry!“ Tommy casually throws his riffle back over his shoulder and makes a u-turn, dodging some runners, Seth hot on his heels. You and Joel waste no time and continue on your path, Joel showing you the way while you keep an eye out for more runners. The group of infected has split up and you only have a handful still following you, nothing you can’t handle. “We´re almost there.“ Joel shouts over his shoulder, face red and veins popping out of his neck. You swallow and quickly reload your gun, trying not to drop the bullets on the wobbly horseback. “You fuckers.“ With that you extend your arm and squint an eye, waiting for two runners to perfectly aline behind each other. Your finger pulls the trigger and shoots both in the head, needing only one bullet. “Impressive.“ Joel mumbles, as he slows down to help you. You don´t know why, but his comment made you proud. “Last one´s for you.“ Joel points his gun to a furious runner that bites the air and extends its claws towards you. You inhale and aim, confidently pulling the trigger one last time. You sigh in relief when the last one drops to the ground, and you can stuff the gun back into your belt. “That was close.“ You whisper and Joel nods, slowing down to the point you could comfortably sit back in the saddle. “The supermarket is right there, we should stop here and walk just in case. Makes us less of a target.“ Joel stops and hops off his horse, a loud grunt leaving his lips in the progress. You follow him and briefly brush the blood from your fingers onto your jeans. “We can bind the horses there.“ You point to a driveway that was half covered in grass with a big tree growing next to it. “Looks good to me.“ Joel nods in approval and you both take care of your horses before continuing walking by foot. “Whoever was on patrol last time, they did a shitty job. I haven´t seen that many runners for weeks, they must have been here a while.“ You shiver at the thought and Joel grabs onto the strings of his backpack. “I just hope the supermarket is clean, my back hurts.“ Joel rotates his shoulders and you stifle a laugh. “Feeling old yet?“ You step slightly closer towards him and make your arms brush, hoping he didn’t notice. He did tho, but doesn’t step away. You continue your way, arms occasionally brushing against each other. “Nah, nothing 8 hours of sleep can’t fix.“ He looks at you and you almost stumble over your own feet, distracted under his gaze. “Careful.“ Joel quickly grabs your arm and stops you from falling, an amused smile on his lips. You chuckle and regain balance, trying not to blush at how warm your arm gets where Joel is touching you. You know he’s older than you, and practically like a dad to your friend, but you can’t help it and feel attracted to Joel. It’s just a small crush tho, nothing too serious. That’s what you told Jesse one night while being drunk and playing truth or dare, and that’s what you tell yourself when you find yourself dreaming about the man next to you. Just a crush, no hard feelings. Everything else would only make things complicated and awkward. “Who taught you how to shoot like that?“ Joel lets go of your arm and casually rests one hand on his hip while the other holds a knife, just in case. “Tommy teached me a long time ago. I was new in Jackson and didn’t even know how to hold a gun.“ You chuckle at the memory and let your mind wonder. Would you still be alive if you never came to Jackson? Probably not. Maybe, with much luck. “You came there alone?“ Joel asks, voice deep and husky. You frown slightly and lower your head. “My mom and sister died when the outbreak started, and my dad got infected on our way to Jackson.“ You clasp your necklace between your fingertips and slightly pull on the charm, a small silver star that once belonged to your sister. “I know how you feel.“ Joel´s eyes darken and he straightens his back, face unreadable. “Most people do nowadays, don’t they?“ You smile and look at him with sad eyes, wondering what kind of man he was before the outbreak started. You barely remember the world before hell broke loose, but Joel does. He must had a normal life back then, maybe even family. You furrow your eyebrows, that thought sounds ironically funny to you. “That´s why most people keep to themselves. It’s easier to be alone than loosing another loved one.“ Joel looks at his watch and you tilt your head. “Is that why you only let Tommy and Ellie in?“ The question slips past your lips before you can stop yourself, and Joel tenses. “I´m letting you in right now, or am I not?“ Joel briefly looks at you and then walks ahead, walk stiff and fast. You follow without saying another word, trying to comprehend what just happened. “We´re here.“ Joel stops in front of the supermarket, looking at the smashed in windows and barricaded door. The roof broke in at some places, and nature started to overgrow the place. Still, some shelves weren’t empty and the back of the shop looks untouched. You turn on your flashlight and carefully light into the place, spotting a mushroom like growth in one corner. “Spores. Put your mask on.“ You step back and pull your mask out of your backpack and over your face, breaths quick and short. “They weren’t there last time.“ Joel puts on his mask and gently pushes you behind him, hunching over and preparing to climb in from one of the windows. “quiet, we don’t know what’s inside.“ He looks into your eyes for any kind of resistance, but you just nod and get out your knife, showing him you’re ready. Glass splinters crunch under your weight as you swing yourself over the windowsill and land in a crouched position. You bite your lip and look around, signaling Joel to follow you. Your feet grind over the ground and you carefully round the corner, flashlight flickering for a second. There it stands, a clicker with open skull and ulcers all over his body. Its torso is leaned forward and arms pulled back as it screeches its horrible sound. You flinch and quickly move to a nearby shelf, pressing yourself against it while Joel hides behind a wall. The clicker moves its head into your direction and clicks again, moving forward while doing so. You hold your breath and tighten the grip on your knife. You’d wait for It to round the shelf and then kill it from behind. The clicker swings its head from side to side and continues to scan its surroundings, getting closer to you with each step. You dare to take a look and crane your neck, almost gasping when the clicker turns his head directly towards you. You hurry to round the shelf and change position, while the clicker makes it way to your previous one. Joel observes your every move, but is stuck in his position or else the clicker is going to tick off. You feel sweat forming on your forehead and suddenly don’t feel so cold anymore, as your nerves kick in. The clicker almost disappears completely behind the shelf before you launch to the side and lock your arm around the clickers throat. You pull it down to your level and stab your knife into its temple, rotating it twice before pulling back out. The clicker looses its grip on you and silently slips to the floor, a puddle of blood forming beneath it. Joel comes out of his hiding spot and searches the clicker for any useful stuff. It’s last clicker echos inside the room and you hold your breath, praying to hear nothing else. But luck wasn’t on your side and before you could comprehend what was happening, a runner comes out of nowhere and screams as he sees you. Joel quickly pushes you aside and doges the runners swing, only to swing back at him with his knife. The runner cries angrily and jumps forward, barely missing Joel by a few inches. You get back up and prepare to help Joel, when the sound of another clicker makes you halt your movements. “Shit.“ You whisper-scream, turning around to see another clicker wandering the aisles of the supermarket. “Another clicker.“ You tell Joel as quiet as possible, while he held the runner tightly in his grip and was about to pop its neck. “for fucks sake.“ He mumbles, flexing his arms with a grunt and letting the dead body slip to the floor with a thud. “I´ll take him and you look for more.“ You tell Joel, already sneaking your way threw the aisles before he could protest. Luckily for you, the clicker is distracted by a bottle you kicked into the opposite direction, and walks away from you. You take the chance and slit its throat from behind, catching the body in your arms and silently laying it down. Blood is all over your mask and the inside starts to get foggy, making you breathe out in annoyance. You quickly round the other aisles and make sure that you’re alone, before going to the back of the shop to look for Joel. He´s in an office, leaning against a desk while clutching his face. You can’t see any spores, so you also take off your mask and carefully make your way over to him. “It´s safe.“ Joel says, voice tired and breathless. “Two more runners but I took them down.“ Joel holds his cheek while looking up at you, and you shyly wiggle yourself between his legs. There you stand, invading his private space, grabbing his wrist with shaking fingers. “What happened?“ You ask, as you slowly lower his hand and place it into his lap. A gash decorates his cheek, soaking his beard with blood. Its not deep, but long and nasty looking. “one of them surprised me and almost got me, tried grabbing my face and pushed my own knife in.“ Joel chuckles at your worried expression, but doesn’t pull away when you grab his face. “We need to clean it.“ You step back and get rid of your backpack, rummaging threw its contents for a cloth and rubbing alcohol. “I see you’re prepared.“ Joel slips a little lower and crosses his legs, hands gripping the desk behind him. You adjust your flashlight and stand between his legs again, blushing when your knee bumps into his clothed crotch. “You never know what happens.“ You shrug your shoulders and soak the cloth in alcohol before placing the bottle on the desk. “Look up, please.“ You gently cup his chin and push it upwards, so you could have a better look at his chin. His beard tickles on your fingertips and you don’t dare to meet his eyes, while he stares at you and tilts his head back. “This stings a little.“ You purse your lips and press the cloth against his bleeding cheek. Joel grips the edges of the desk tighter, but stays quiet. “What happened with your nose?“ You ask, trying to distract him while your pinky finger brushes over the light scar on the bridge of his nose. “Fist fight, I think. I don´t really remember, to be honest.“ Joel slowly moves his hands and grazes your hips. You blush and let your eyes flicker to his, to find him already looking at you. “I- I don´t think you need stitches. It already stopped bleeding.“ You whisper, intimidated by the closeness between you two. “Okay.“ Joel whispers back, breath fanning over your face. When did you get so close? You inhale sharply, knees getting weak as you smell him. His blood, dirt from outside and sweat. But also soap and, wood? He smells musky, and you like it. You lick your lips as you stare at his own, framed by his greying beard. You lower the cloth and open your mouth but close it, your mind running blank. You feel Joels hands on your lower back, and his eyes on your face. “Joel.“ Your fingers wander down his neck to rest on his chest, but instead of pushing him away, you hold onto the fabric of his jacket. Its soft and warm in your palm, and you find yourself pulling it closer to your body. Joel closes his eyes and you do the same, holding your breath. You don’t know who kisses who, but suddenly Joels lips are on yours and his beard prickles your sensitive skin. His hands brush upwards to cup your face, and his rough thumb gently slides over your cheek. You sigh into the kiss and open your lips further, waiting impatiently to taste him. He grunts and you feel the vibration in his chest, mentally taking a note of it as its one of the hottest sounds you ever heard. His tongue slips past your lips and your belly does a flip, goosebumps rising on your arm. What are you doing? The voice inside your head screams. Now its not just a silly crush anymore.

[tlou2holland]

first date with Tom

You anxiously bite your lip and fumble with your hands, the bubblegum in your mouth getting too soft for your liking. You check your phone to see the time, and a sigh leaves your lips. The people around pay you no mind, but that doesn’t stop you from thinking they are silently pitying you. How would they know you’re probably getting stood up for a date? They can’t, but by their looks you feel like they do. “Oh come on.“ You mumble to yourself, suddenly feeling nervous about this whole blind date-thing. Your best friend hooked you up with the best friend of her boyfriend. You only agreed to stop her complaints about you being single, and as she claims, being so, so lonely. She told you nothing about your date, only that he’s so nice and definitely your type. If he’s so nice, why is he late? You start to walk circles on the sidewalk and kick small stones back onto the street. You’ll wait another 10 minutes, and if he’s not made an appearance till then, you will go ho-

“Excuse me?“ Someone carefully touches your shoulder and interrupts your inner rant. You turn around and look into brown eyes. “Yeah?“ You smile politely and tuck a strand of hair behind your ear.     “Are you Y/N?“ The man in front of you blushes and slightly tilts his head to the side, waiting for your answer. He really showed up, and definitely is my type, you think. Chocolate brown curls, kind eyes and a slightly crooked nose with some freckles. “Yes.“ You laugh nervously and brush your sweaty palms against the fabric of your jeans. “I´m Tom, Harrison´s friend.“ Tom extends his hand and you take it, his fingers brushing against the back of your hand. “It´s nice to meet you, Y/N.“ He smiles and you do the same, feeling heat rising to your cheeks. “It´s nice to meet you too, Tom.“ You giggle and Tom chuckles at that. “I´m sorry for being late, but my dog was taking her time on her walk and refused to stop playing. And I don’t have your number and couldn’t let you know and-“ he starts rambling and an unfamiliar warmth stretches in your chest. He is cute. “It´s okay.“ You look at him and bite your lip. “I mean, I thought you wouldn’t come and kinda felt like an idiot, but now you’re here. So its all good.“ You start walking and Tom follows, your shoulders brushing against each other with every step. “Can I make it up to you?“ He playfully nudges your shoulder and you enjoy the feeling of having him so close. „I´d like that.“ You nod and Tom exhales loudly, holding his chest with a smile. “Good, for a second I thought I already messed this up.“ He laughs and hides his hands in his jacket. “You like Coffee?“ He raises an eyebrow and you chuckle. „I fear to say I’m almost addicted.“ You lower your head and pull your jacket tighter around yourself. “so you’re not a tea person?“ Tom casually links his arm threw yours and guides you down the street, into an alley with small shops and fewer people. “Oh no, I like tea. But coffee is my guilty pleasure. What about you?“ You turn your head to get a better look at him, and catch his little grin just in time. “I´m a native of southwest London darling, tea is basically in my DNA. Are you from here?“ Tom continues to look straight ahead and you follow his gaze, eyes landing on a small bakery with a lovely handwritten sign in front of the windows. “No, me and my best friend moved here a couple of months ago for university. Is it that obvious?“ You laugh nervously and Tom stops in front of the door, holding it open for you to go in. “You do have an small accent, but its cute.“ Tom winks and greets the woman standing behind the counter, resting his hand at the small of your back. “Evening Tom! What can I get for you two?“ 

“Just two Coffee to go, please.“ He fishes his wallet out of his jeans and pays for your drink as well before handing you your cup. “Thank you, Tom.“ You wrap your fingers around the hot cup and wait for him to finish sugaring his. “So you like it sweet, huh?“ You watch as he rips open a second package of sugar and stirs it into his drink. “I have a sweet tooth.“ He shrugs his shoulders with a smile and puts the lid back on his cup. You guys leave the shop and continue to wander around the streets of London, falling into easy conversation and mocking each other in a playful banter. 

“Obviously my dog is cuter than Harrisons.“ Tom feigns hurt at your previous statement, that Monty is one of the cutest dogs you’ve ever seen, and looks at you with wide eyes. “I can’t know, I haven’t seen your dog. But you have to admit, Monty is pretty cute.“  You speak slowly to emphasize your point, and Tom squints his eyes. “You don’t know my dog?“ You can’t tell if he’s joking or not, but you stifle a laugh. “Obviously not, I only met you today! How am I supposed to know your dog then?“ You playfully hit his chest and he grabs your hand, lowering it to his side but not letting go of it. “We need to change that. Let´s go.“ He intertwines your fingers with his and you get a tingling feeling at the pit of your stomach. “What?“ You ask breathlessly, a small smile creeping its way onto your face. “I live nearby, don’t you, eh- don’t you want to go? God I should have asked first, I´m sorry.“ He was about to let go of your hand but you stop him, and give it a gentle squeeze. “I´d love to meet your dog.“ You look him in the eyes and feel your heart melt at his puppy-like gaze. “But it’s getting late and I have to work tomorrow morning.“ You pout and watch Tom drop his smile for a second. Is he disappointed? “Oh, that’s fine. Do you want me to walk you home?“ Tom scratches the back of his neck and you try not to stare at him, and how his jacket tightens around his arm. “I´d love that. And I’d also really love to meet your dog. Maybe we can-“ you stop to take a deep breath and collect the courage to meet his eyes. “Maybe we can take your dog for a walk on our next date?“ You don’t know if your mind is playing tricks on you, but you swear you saw a spark in his eye. “That sounds lovely, darling.“

[tlou2holland]

waking up next to Tom

You sigh heavily and slowly turn around, a mess of sheets lazily wrapped around your legs and half kicked off the bed. The last seconds of your dream replay in your head and another huff of air escapes your lips. You remember last nights events, when Tom and You finally reunited after being separated for so long, and how he made sure you know just how much he missed you. To say it was heavenly is an understatement, but nothing compares to waking up next to him. You blink to shield your eyes from the rising sun, and take in your surroundings. Tom forgot to close the curtains last night, which explains why you're awoken so early from your peaceful slumber. Laying on your side, you tuck your arm beneath your pillow and happily watch the snoring man next to you. Tom´s brown curls are a mess, and frame parts of the pillow but mostly his face. His skin reflects the sun and shines in a golden glow, making him look almost like a photograph or painting. Every now and then, his chest rises and lowers and small breaths of air escape his mouth. You can't help it and reach out with your free hand, gently brushing some hair out of his face. His eyes are laid with sleep and he slightly crunches his nose, before his breaths get heavy again. You suppress a smile and pull the covers over his exposed chest, but not before running your fingers over the lines of his muscles. Never did you thought you'd end up with someone you love so unconditionally, nevertheless this person being Tom Holland. World known Actor und Star, sweetheart for thousands of fans, and Spiderman. But for you he was just Tom, and moments like this make you love him even more. 

“Mornin´ Love, like what you see?” Tom yawns and opens one eye, a crooked half smile making its way onto his face. “I do, haven't seen it in so long.” You giggle and snuggle into Toms side, resting your head on his bare shoulder while wrapping your arm around his torso. You feel his warm breath on top of your head and the light touch of his lips on your forehead. “I know, but I´m not leaving anytime soon.” He sighs in content and wraps his arms around you, pulling half of your torso on top of him. He barely opens his eyes before he speaks again. “How long have you been staring at me?” He slides his thumb over your cheek, and you close your eyes at the contact. “I didn't stare at you, that's creepy.” You furrow your eyebrows and try to stop the blush rising to your cheeks. “Is that so? Cause I'm pretty sure I felt your eyes on me.” Tom bites his lip and you watch him do so, mindlessly mimicking his actions. “So you pretended to be asleep to feel me watch you sleep?” You raise an eyebrow and teasingly run your fingers up and down his neck, smirking at his rising goosebumps. “So you did watch me sleep.” Tom tightens his grip around your waist and digs his fingertips into your soft skin. You shiver at his touch and inch even closer, lips almost touching. “I simply admired the view.” You close your eyes and kiss Tom, his lips soft and warm against your own. “Hmm.” He hums into the kiss and playfully bites your bottom lip, making you pull away with a grin. “How did I get so lucky?” Tom tilts his head and cups your face with one hand, while tracing patterns on your back with the other. “You div.” You laugh and gently slap his chest, before kissing it. “I´m the lucky one here.” You wink and this time its Tom who laughs, voice still thick with sleep and eyes closed again. “Lets stay like this forever.” He rubs his nose against your own and you steal another kiss before attacking his jaw with your lips. “Forever sounds good to me.” You look into Toms eyes, only to find him already looking at you. 

“Forever it is then.” He says, holding out his pinky. You stifle a laugh and do the same, linking your pinky finger with his. “Forever it is.”