An excerpt from the next chapter of Heir Apparent.
Thankfully, they were saved from themselves—and from each other—by Dippet’s letter, which arrived on the sixth day.
Voldemort snatched it up with the desperation of a man on the verge of snapping.
He yanked the library window ajar at the Hogwarts owl’s very first knock, letting in a splash of rain from the greyish, cloudy sky, the raindrops refreshingly cool against his heated face. He shut it after the owl hopped in inelegantly, shaking itself like a dog.
Frazzled and rain-dampened, the pygmy owl dropped its rolled-up, beribboned, soggy letter onto the study table and hooted in complaint until Voldemort tossed it a few rinds of bacon from one of Flopsy’s plates.
Harry cooed at the creature and cast a drying spell that had its feathers fluffing up comically, like a ball of cotton; Harry laughed softly and petted it with genuine affection. The owl, tired and cold as it was, nudged its head against Harry’s palm and closed its eyes in relief. Voldemort doubted many others on its routine delivery routes bothered to cast drying spells on it and dote on it every time it rained.
Harry’s compassion had, unsurprisingly, won a new admirer. Perhaps Harry was especially fond of owls; it certainly seemed so. Voldemort should see to getting him an owl of his own… though then Voldemort would have to tolerate Harry touching and caring for yet another that wasn’t him.
But if it brought Harry joy… Surely that outweighed any discomfort on Voldemort’s part.
Even if it made him grit his teeth.
The letter announced, in elegant, swirling blue ink, that Dippet would be willing to meet with them tomorrow, at four in the afternoon, when the school day would be over and students would be out and about in the corridors.
Excellent. The more people were milling about, the easier it would be to blend in under disguises and to linger in the school for an hour or two after they were supposed to leave…
Voldemort turned to Harry with a smile. “We have an invitation, my heir.”
Harry groaned. “You and your invitations.”
“I thought you’d be more enthusiastic about me re-absorbing one of my Horcruxes.”
“I am, I just—” Harry ruffled the owl’s nape as its eyes remained shut in enviable bliss. “I’m worried about the part where you’re supposed to be hurt, where you’re supposed to feel bad, and…”
“And you do not wish for me to suffer.”
“No.” Harry looked away as though ashamed. But then he looked back again. Fearless. “Even when—even when, objectively, morally, you deserve it. For each… each of those murders, the victims deserve justice. They deserve your remorse, at least, if not your—” Harry stopped, as if he could not bear to continue.
Voldemort completed the sentence for him. “If not my pain?” Oh, Harry ought not to feel shame for recognising that Voldemort was evil, that Voldemort had done evil; that was a fact, and Harry was far too intelligent, honest and brave to not discern that reality and openly state it. “I deserve the worst of damnations, Harry, and I have never feared them. Else I would not have split my soul.” He set the letter down, walked across to Harry and knelt before him, taking the hand that wasn’t petting the owl. “That is my karma, not yours. Besides, for you, I would do any penance. For you, all pain would be ecstasy.”
Harry chuckled bitterly. “Not sure masochistic sacrificial pleasure is, er, the goal here. It’s supposed to be horrid.”
Voldemort hummed. “I’m sure it will be. Magic always claims her dues. Perhaps paying them now will spare me an ignominious end in the future.”
“I want you to have a future,” Harry whispered. “I want you to… to be happy, really happy, with all of your heart. I want you to not live a half-life with a broken soul that’s burdened by debt.”
“I know,” Voldemort replied gently, placing a kiss on Harry’s knee before rising. “I know, Harry. I want to love you with all that I am, too.”
Harry sucked in a breath.
The owl, disturbed from its rest by Voldemort’s intrusion, sent him a truly malevolent glower for interrupting its Harry-time—a sentiment Voldemort could very much relate to—before flitting over to the window.
Voldemort opened it to let the bird out.
Then he stood there and watched the rain, allowing it to pelt him. He wondered if the agony of remorse would cleanse him like rainwater cleansed the earth, or whether it would be akin to being scoured by acid, cleaving his very flesh from his bones.
But Harry would be with him through it all. And if Harry held him afterwards, if Harry soothed him, well, would that not be worth any injury?
[READ THE PREVIOUS CHAPTERS HERE.]