local bitchy shane enthusiast

20s. three raccoons in a trench coat. mainly the witcher, the amazing devil, and heated rivalry now too, apparently. 🌿 #toapoetwriting for my writing, hopefully.

[toapoet]

toapoet's masterlist

HEATED RIVALRY

hollanov

for his mama - ilya reflects on what he wished for as a boy and what he has now, and wishes his mama was still here

THE WITCHER

geraskier

the sunflower is mine (in a way) - cozy, sleepy afternoon spent studying and snuggling

no name - two paragraphs about a grown ciri going out on a hunt on her own and her fathers being domestic with each other

yennskier

moment's silence when my baby puts the mouth on me - modern au. jaskier buys yen a necklace and after giving it to her they spend the evening being intimate. mildly spicy!

brief vignettes of jaskier and yennefer being married - exactly what it says on the tin. little blurbs of them being Married that are either too short for a full fic or don't fit anywhere else

[shanetism]

[snowsmoked]

I do think that Shane gets a Russian language tutor. He sees that Ilya is always having to think, speak, and translate in his second language. And he knows that Ilya is fluent by this point, but if he's serious about forever with Ilya (which he is) he wants Ilya to be able to communicate with his boyfriend in his native language. He also saw how much his grandparents struggled with learning English as adults and how much more expressive and talkative they were when they spoke Japanese at home together.

So he gets a tutor. He meticulously researches her (she's from Moscow, so he'll learn from someone with Ilya's same accent). She's signed to more NDAs than he can count. She has 10 years of experience, she's certified to teach English and Russian, and she has 4.8 stars on MyTutor.

Shane pays her a frankly concerning amount of money to make house calls. Twice weekly, unless he's on the road, she arrives at his apartment to teach him foundational Russian. She gives him workbooks, Russia cartoon recommendation, podcasts for beginners, etc. He tells her he's learning because his boyfriend is Russian and she outlines a course that focuses on domestic language first (as opposed to travel or business). She even teaches him what she calls a 'culture course' with lessons on Russian music, food, and various traditions.

She's only a few years older than Shane and he actually finds himself looking forward to her visits. At this point, she's the only person other than his parents that knows he has a boyfriend.

About 4 months in, Shane finally feels comfortable enough to ask about what he'd been very excited about learning.

"You want me to teach you how to talk dirty to your boyfriend?" Ekaterina raised an eyebrow.

"Um," Shane blushed. Was this a little too far? Was this inappropriate to ask of a tutor? "Yes? If - If that's okay, I mean."

A slow smirk spread over her face. "This will be fun. Fun for me, now. Fun for you, later."

"I made a list," Shane admitted. He wasn't going to back out now, he put a lot of thought into his list. He turned to it in his Russian notebook and handed it to her.

She scanned over it indifferently. "You will use all this in one night?"

"Yeah, probably. Is it too much?"

"It is good you have a Russian man," Ekaterina said. "They have good stamina. Mostly, anyway."

And while it was a little embarrassing for Ekaterina to correct his pronunciation of please let me suck your cock, it helped that she seemed just as comfortable with that as there is tea on the stove.

Though, maybe he shouldn't have learned those phrases at the same time, because Ilya will never, for as long as they live, allow him to forget asking, while down on his knees and with excellent pronunciation, please let me suck your tea.

[ok-notgood-probablybad]

this is the first hug Ilya has got since he was twelve, bye

[ok-notgood-probablybad]

"I already chose you Hollander"

[mapetitefeedeslilas]

Post-outing Shane loving every time someone shovel-talks him, more or less menacingly, or compliments him for bagging someone as wonderful as Ilya, especially after he's had everyone before more or less judging negatively his choice upon finding out.

Svetlana squaring him up and down promising his ashes will never be recovered if he hurts Ilyushka? Perfectly understandable, he wholeheartedly agrees with the sentiment

Marleau slapping him on the shoulder "Legendary pull, Hollzy! You'll take care of my guy, right?"? New friend unlocked, a delightful goldmine of embarrassing stories and anecdotes about his husband.

Attentive Hazy, with his all knowing goalie-eyes, smiling kindly "you two are a goalie's worst nightmare and the absolute perfect match"? Might even go easy on him during training. But like only once...for half the session.

Sweet baby faced Luca stuttering all embarrassed his congratulations for his engagement with his amazing Cap and childhood idol, and admitting he always thought they'd make a good match? Where are the adult-adoption papers?

[4e-hollanov]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

[pov-rosie]

Shane's favorite place is Ilya's lap.

[mybloodstream-caffeine]

I'm thinking about how Ilya canonically loves watching it go in,,, I'm thinking about Shane on all fours getting pounded into the fucking mattress, just the way he likes it, whining piteously when Ilya suddenly slows down. I'm thinking about Shane craning his neck, looking over his shoulder through glassy eyes to try and see why Ilya changed the pace. I'm thinking about Ilya not even noticing because he's too slack jawed watching how Shane's stretched rim clings to his thick shaft every time he pulls back, how it clenches desperately around it when he pushes back in, slick lube oozing out, dripping down Shane's taint, getting Ilya's pubes all sticky with it. I'm thinking about Ilya teasing Shane with this slow, grinding pace for aaaages, even as Shane begs and pleads and sobs for more, because he enjoys watching his greedy hole take him too much to stop.

[schittyfic]

“No one is here now,” Ilya observes, theatrically turning his head left and right and spreading his arms wide. Droplets of water trickle temptingly down the line of his forearms, tracing a stark vein running along his bicep. “Just us.”

“Just us,” Shane echoes, quiet and almost disbelieving.

These days together have melted into one long, sundrenched dream. At any given moment, he half-expects he’ll jolt awake.

-

Or: the day after the ‘I love you’s, Shane still doesn’t quite think this could all be real. A golden afternoon down at the lake helps him believe it. A 1x06 missing scene.

[sagelessichor]

I’ve been seeing this a lot in fics lately and it’s been kinda pissing me off so I feel I just have to say this: the reason why hollanov work is *because* they are equals. One is not better than the other yall.

You think Shane “gets turned off when his boyfriend loses his games” Hollander would actually want to be with someone who wasn’t as good as him? The whole reason why they’re rivals, why they work together as friends and as partners, is because they are equals on pretty much every single level. Neither of them are the better hockey players than the other because they are literally both tied for first. They are leagues ahead of anyone else in the league with only the other to match them. They are equals. They can only talk to each other abt their hot takes on hockey bc they’ll say shit like “idk I js think that if you score on an empty net it shouldnt count” and the other will go like “right???” meanwhile if they said that to anybody else they’d get ragged on for being arrogant. Nobody does it like they do, Your Honor.

now while I do personally believe that Shane is the more analytical player and Ilya is more instinctual in his playing, they’re both still tied for first. They are both generational talents and they know it, they know that they can only be challenged properly by the other and that’s part of the attraction/thrill for them.

but like, I keep seeing fics where at some point they mention that Shane is the better hockey player or that Shane is the best hockey player in the league and Ilya is second and like. no. Their whole thing as rivals is that they are equals, they can only be matched by each other. If they weren’t equals in every meaningful way, they wouldn’t be rivals. (And I do believe in my heart that if they weren’t rivals, shane’s interest in Ilya would’ve plummeted and vice versa.)

and like don’t get me wrong, I love Shane as a character, but we as a fandom do tend to make it look like Ilya doesn’t care about hockey. Now, Shane’s life is pretty much 100% hockey, yes, but if Shane’s life is 100% hockey then Ilya’s life is 95% hockey. Just because we typically only see Ilya in clubs in the books or fucking Shane or eating shit does not mean he doesn’t take hockey seriously. He does, he has to to be one of the best in the entire league, it’s just that all that shit happens off screen and. well. it’s clear that Shane’s got some problems regarding control in his life and often restricts his diet or his workouts for a sense of control meanwhile Ilya goes to clubs and drinks to feel in control of his life so we’re shown Ilya in clubs and fucking instead of training. It (their need for control stemming from the pressure of being generational talents, the pressure from the media, from the fans, from themselves, from their families) shows differently for both of them (and we tend to make those coping mechanisms their entire personalities) but at the end of the day, it’s another point where Shane and Ilya are equals/understand each other in a way no one else could. Fucking around with their health in order to feel in control due to the immense pressure from the media, family, and from constantly being number 1.

not to mention ilya’s whole “Hollander’s weak backhand” joke is just so much funnier when they’re equals. Like sure they are equals in literally almost every single thing, but ilya’s backhand is 0.00000005% stronger than Shane’s and while that difference is nothing to anyone else it’s jarring to them and it’s just funny because sure Shane’s backhand is better than pretty much everyone else’s in the league besides this one motherfucker who won’t let it go.

idk yall I js think their relationship is so much more delectable when we recognize that they’re equals

[iressails]

when you're presented with glorious full frontal and instead you're gazing deeply into their eyes. love baby love

[bugslibraryy]

Ok guys when Ilya has to go in for some kind of surgery- nothing too crazy maybe appendix out or something but he obviously can’t wear jewellery so he takes off his necklace with his ring on it too and puts it on Shane like you need to keep it safe please okay?. Shane feels like he is carrying the most precious cargo like honoured that Ilya’s most precious item is being trusted with Shane to keep it safe for his Ilya, he’s fiddling with it and touching it to make sure it’s still there safely around his neck

[flyora]

Harris do his best as always

[my-castles-crumbling]

ange - hollanov - @hollanovmicrofic - word count: 329 - slightly NSFW - click here to see my microfic archive!

It’d taken Ilya a while to forgive JJ. To even consider giving him another chance. He didn’t mind so much that JJ was a jerk to him, but the way he’d acted towards Shane? Yeah, that had been a lot to swallow. However, Shane had asked him emphatically to try his best, so Ilya was here, trying his…well, trying a little.

The thing was, it wasn’t that bad, having lunch with Hayden, JJ, and their significant others. Not because JJ was particularly exciting, but because sometimes, Shane spoke French. And yeah, Ilya had heard it referred to as the language of love before, but fuck, hearing it come from Shane Hollander’s mouth? Delicious.

That, plus the fact that Jackie Pike was there and Ilya loved her, was enough to make it so he thought he could endure quite a long lunch with these Montrea fuckers. Until Shane, mid-conversation with JJ and his girlfriend, turned to Ilya.

“Ilya, mon ange, est-ce que tu–Shit, I mean,” he chuckled, blushing a bit and laughing at himself. “Ilya, do you…”

But Ilya was too busy losing his damn mind. Because he was pretty sure Shane had just called him a pet name. In French.

“Bathroom,” he stuttered, standing and nearly running for the restroom, trying to make his very empty mind work, all of his blood due south at the moment.

Shane followed shortly after him. “Ilya, what’s–”

“We have to go home,” he said hoarsely, leaning on the sink and trying to remember how to breathe. It was difficult.

“What–why?”

“You say nice things in French. I–”

Shane broke into a grin. “Wait. You–my French turns you on?”

“Solnyshko, please,” Ilya whined, about to lose his mind. “Was so hot, I am dying.”

But Shane just laughed in a way that, in Ilya’s opinion, was truly maniacal. “Now you know how I feel when you speak Russian at my parents,” he retorted, spinning around and exiting, leaving Ilya to groan in despair.

[mymansmoon]

"I hate you" "no you don't" is a highly common refrain in their relationship, and after they're married the bit gets an upgrade because when person 2 goes "no you don't" they accompany it with a casual flash of the ring on their finger and person 1 melts significantly more than they ever did when they were just boyfriends

[hollzy-baby]

I think we’re sleeping on them both being virgins role play - those possessive mfers would eat that up with a spoon