schittyfic

i used to scream about schitt's creek and now the idiot hockey boys own my soul @schittyfic on ao3! alison | 30 | she/her | UK

[russianblush]

grabby hands at this man rn

[ilya-rozanova]

[wild-aloof-rebel]

[pavlmescal]

[bluegiragi]

morning run

(shower scene will be on patreon)

[pavlmescal]

favorite hollanov kisses 12/??

[handsywoman]

welcome to Pound Town population: Shane Hollander

[ilyrozanov]

and today i am grateful for hudson william's armpits.

[bizarrelittlemew]

please mr tierney he is asking so nicely

[mina-logan]

I like to think they’re tucked away in a corner at a farmers market somewhere.

[schittyfic]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

It had started, innocently enough, with a hickey.

I: mmm good morning my shane

I: why angry face? looks very pretty on you 😘

S: You said it’d go down in a day or two. I have a game today, asshole

S: The guys are gonna see

I: and??

I: i would fuck you in front of whole locker room if you let me)))

-

Or: during the year after the cottage, Shane and Ilya’s mixed-up feelings about keeping their relationship a secret devolve into a very public fantasy.

[ilyasmole]

something i really really love about this scene is while yes, shane is laughing along with ilya, he's so much more subtle about it. he's trying his best to keep his composure because he knows how important this shoot is and he wants to be professional. and ofc ilya also knows that but he's just. so. flustered. by. shane. his crush on shane is SO big. and being so close to him, looking in his eyes like this...like ilya is just totally unable to keep his composure bc wowowowow this really hot hockey player who i've been crushing on since saskatchewan is looking directly into my eyes and smiling Like That and my heart is pounding so much and his freckles are so cute and my cock is twitching in my jockstrap and how the fuck am i supposed to keep my composure when all i wanna do is kiss him over and over...

and ilya turning his face away, that's not just because he's trying not to laugh. it's because he's embarrassed. he's flustered. he knows he's being Obvious, he knows he's being unprofessional, and i think that's part of why he just says fuck it when they're in the showers bc he's like....well surely this man knows how i feel now. surely he saw how flustered i was getting. surely he knows that i'm gonna make a move. but ofc shane is completely clueless and confused and that makes ilya feel even MORE flustered (and horny) lmao

basically ilya is just so head over heels for this man from the very beginning and it's so sweet to watch. he was smitten from the start.

[firstprinced]

[schittyfic]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

It had started, innocently enough, with a hickey.

I: mmm good morning my shane

I: why angry face? looks very pretty on you 😘

S: You said it’d go down in a day or two. I have a game today, asshole

S: The guys are gonna see

I: and??

I: i would fuck you in front of whole locker room if you let me)))

-

Or: during the year after the cottage, Shane and Ilya's mixed-up feelings about keeping their relationship a secret devolve into a very public fantasy.

[lucylehane]

Jacob with some spot-on Ilya character analysis (and general thoughts on sex-as-self)

It's Open With Ilana Glazer

[wild-aloof-rebel]

Dan Levy and Noah Reid for Entertainment Weekly

[russianblush]

Hudson Williams attending the 2026 Canadian Screen Awards (May 31st, 2026)