headcanon — dean & john : the everlasting presence of an absent father
❗️disclaimer: since the show itself has already showcased and explored their relationship rather thoroughly, this headcanon aims to highlight only the 2 main aspects: the burden and the legacy left behind by john.
dean's relationship with his father becomes complicated only after he dies. because john made a deal with the yellow-eyed demon to save dean, the news of his death was met with mixed feelings. stricken by grief and sorrow, dean soon realized that his emotions went much deeper than mourning the loss of a beloved father. he felt guilty, and because of that, he was angry:
because john struck a deal with the enemy, going against everything that he had ever preached about to his sons while raising them to hunt monsters;
because john ultimately sacrificed his life to save dean without dean knowing until later. he would have never agreed to it; he would have chosen to die instead of living with the burden of his father's death;
because on top of it all, he told dean to protect sam — something that dean considered to be unfair ; john should be responsible for protecting his sons, and he failed at that.
however, dean's biggest frustration stems from the fact that he can't change all of that. he cannot reverse john's deal, he cannot bring john back, and he cannot leave his family unprotected. he doesn't want to stop protecting sam, because that's ultimately who he is. he can't not listen to john when he asks him to watch out for his brother, because this is what he was raised to do, and what he deems right to do. he's angry because he has no control over any of john's actions that directly affect the course of dean's life.
notably, despite john's overall absence in the course of the entire series, the legacy he's left behind is ever-present. john'd taught dean (and sam) how to survive in a world of monsters, trained him to fight and win against them, and guided him to fight for what was right. unlike sam, who grew up rebelling against his father, dean embraced him ; lessons such as to always keep fighting and saving people are at the core of who dean is as a person because of john. dean loves hunting and helping people thanks to john. he didn't simply inherit that legacy, he embraced it and took it in as its own.
john's lives in the story ever so presently, as long as dean keeps driving john's car, as long as he keeps listening to the same old classic rock songs, reading john's journal, hunting monsters, saving people, protecting sam ... his father will always be with him. all of that in itself keeps the memory of him alive.
the winchesters have defied destiny in many different ways and, as a result, stopped the apocalypse. in addition that, it's worth noting that with sam and dean being destined to mirror lucifer and michael, their relationship to john was subsequently destined to mirror that of god and his two sons (which was doomed to both parties being let down by one another). however, unlike god, who showed no remorse for his absence, john did. he had expressed his regret over what he had put his sons through and dean was able to heal from that. thus, the winchesters have once again proved that they weren't treading the path that heaven had paved for them ; that they were able to shape their own through their love for each other.
annaxmalina
titsay
gummygunk
germansingergirl
