The patriarchy is not a war of men against women where men are given all the advantages. That's not what feminism is up against.
The patriarchy is a system where ALL people have rigid roles imposed upon them. All else being equal, certain advantages are more likely to be given to men (or masculine people, or people AMAB, or people with male sex characteristics, depending on CONTEXT). But all else is RARELY equal and even when it is, the range of experiences is vast, and the system is rigged against almost everyone.
Because the goal most individuals have, and the right all individuals deserve, is to be themselves, and to do so by choice. And no matter who you are, the patriarchy stands in opposition to this goal. It tells you who you're allowed to be, who you're not allowed to be, what you're allowed to do, and what others are allowed to do to you. This is an injustice for people of all genders.
We're ALL trapped. This system can only be dismantled if we understand the WHOLE thing. Which means we need to listen to everyone when they talk about the harms the system is causing them, from where THEY'RE stuck in it.
How are you going to escape the torture mansion if you don't understand vast swathes of it because you've mistaken your brother for the enemy and closed your ears to him? He's shouting from the torture chamber next to yours, trying to tell you the layout of the room he sees so you can plan your escape together, and you're refusing to listen because he's been given more food and water than you? How do you not see that this attitude is only to the benefit of the torture mansion, not its victims?
