A Relationships PSA
Actually, this might not be a PSA at all. If it turns out to be a shit talk of what I finally taught myself in the past year, I won’t be surprised.
Well, then...
A year ago I was at the beginning of the worst depression-filled period since I was 13 and my mom came home after 3 years apart and me wanting to die due to... family shit that’s not the theme of this talk. However, now I’m hella good mentally and I probably will write about that here, maybe, just to vent. But this is about love. Becouse it played a huge role.
A year ago I was missing a person that wasn’t right for me, becouse I chose only that type of people. The two I want to talk here about were the kind that responded badly with my problems due to their own. First one isn't that important, becuse at the time it seemd right but how wrong it was I saw a bit later, half a year ag I think. So maybe she just did what was right for us both way before I could see that. Wow, I'm kinda grateful now. I saw her at a Prade Parade less than 20 days ago and I must admit, I was hella glad that things happend how they did. So the only thing I can say is just... there are poeple who aren't right for you. And sometimes when they leave it's even better for you than for them.
But, the pearl of it all...I have found a rebound. Not to lift from the previous girl, but to lift me from myself. That's how I saw love - a thing that will make me better. FYI; it's not. But, the kind of person I chose is important. Maybe others can relate. First of all, as a homosexual, I may have a higher risk of mistaking a friend material for a spouse material. That's what I did there. Second, when I knew it was off and I needed to end it, my friends all were like "wait, you might regret it later on, wait and think" so I did, especially due to all the holidays and b-days of both of us coming up. DUMB. DECISSION. I mean, I'm where I am becouse of it, but it is dumb to do that type of thing. If you feel something's of, it's of. Listen to yourself. I made us unhappy by waiting. And, one of our problems is important, becouse others might share it. She was the type of person who depends on someones atention and kinda makes themselves the victom of every situation. It sounds like a shade, but it's just the tea. I'm caring and loyal and I tend to act like the saviour of my peeps. But people sometimes start to depend on that and stop contributing in the relationship. After breaking up with her I went to therapy (I'm bipolar since... dunno, I was born? XD) and decided to stop with love for a while.
Exactly a month later I met someone tho. I've tried to supress it, but I couldn't ignore the fact that finally someone was what I was looking for and what I need in a spouse. We're nearly 5 months into being together and it's the healthies relationship of any kind that I've had. So my massage is simple - to be happy, we need to work on ourselvrs and the right person will be right without you "fixing" them. Do not seek the right person, just leave the door open for them. Idk, I'm in love, I'm shit talking probably. But I'm also inlove with myself too and that's something I wish you all so I vented all of this to the Internet in hope someone finds comfrot in this.
Dyke Vader out, bitches!
