SINNER // SAINT. ( ᵃᵘᵗᵒ )

TO LEAD: 1. they look to you like you're the north star, but they don't realise your light has long been extinguished. 2. your hands are ruinous, fickle things. they destroy what they try to save. 3. it's worth the dirtying of your soul to salvage your child's innocence. 4. you would walk through fire for those you love, but what do you do when the fire's internal? private & selective RICK GRIMES. previously deadwclking / written by hannah.

[tolead]

BLOG PSA: i’ve taken this week to think about it, & it’s not been an easy decision, but my rick muse is being put on an indefinite hiatus for the time being. a combination of the past season, what the comics are pulling at the moment ( if this is all for Man Pain i’m going to be so mad ), & having greater inspiration for other muses, i don’t think me forcing myself to write here is going to do me or anyone else any favours. i love rick, i really do, but i can’t be active on this blog right now.

however, all three of my ( semi ) active blogs have walking.dead verses, & i’d love to write with you guys over there !  at the moment i’m most active on BODHI thanks to the war of the stars hype, but i also have GEORGE.WEASLEY and BUCKY ( the latter being my first ever muse & most recently revamped ). i think only bodhi has his verse written up, but i do have twd plans for both george & bucky.

i’ll probably be back one day ( look at bucky as an example ), so this isn’t a goodbye. feel free to hmu on my other blogs if you’d still like to write &  stay beautiful !

[tolead]

(งಠ_ಠ)ง

          CATCH THESE HANDS with my hands

          we’re holding hands now, this is nice

[myjendara]

[tolead]

yo what's up dad

          new phone who dis ?

[tolead]

like for a starter !  ( capping at 5 )

[danaisokoye-archive]

how andy wants rick to die

i was going to gif this but honestly that wouldnt do it justice 

[tolead]

LISTEN UP KIDS this is going to be a very important meta about how both spencer & shane are wrongly vilified, how rick isn’t a saint ( shock horror ) & how all three are more alike than you think ( @gutspilt​ i got ur back boo ).

first thing’s first. who is the primary character we follow from day one? who do we base our reactions off of depending on their experience in this new world so far? you guessed it: RICK GRIMES. rick is the storytelling focus; we watch his development and - consciously or not - base our opinions on other characters upon situations he’s been through thus far. we see the world through rick’s eyes, so it’s not surprising we inherit some of his internal bias, even though we as viewers are capable of seeing the whole picture.

this leads onto my main point: how both spencer and shane are directly antagonistic towards rick, ergo they’re immediately painted in a bad light. but think about the parallels for a second, and you’ll start to see why, if you praise rick’s actions, you can’t immediately condemn those opposing him.

take the scene with shane breaking into the greene barn as an example. everyone’s mortified by his actions — rick’s mortified by his actions — and yet are you telling me the rick grimes of the future wouldn’t do exactly the same thing? spencer’s naivety about the world and refusal to immediately resort to violence — remind you of a certain sheriff who was always holding out hope for a better solution ( i.e choosing to feed into hershel’s belief about walkers rather than address it )?

i was definitely someone who was shocked when it was revealed that shane killed otis, but looking back on it now, you can bet everything that were carl in the same position in the current timeline and the thing that stood between him getting life-saving medicine was a relative stranger, rick would do the same thing in an instant. the rick of the past, however? i honestly don’t think he’d make the decision in time — or if he did, it’d be to sacrifice himself so that otis could get the medicine back. and doesn’t that sound exactly the sort of thing spencer would do?

shane’s ruthlessness and refusal to pander to ideas that avoid the inevitable are exactly the same traits rick sports in later seasons, and are especially prevalent when trying to make the alexandrians see his point of view — whereas spencer’s innocence and strong moral code are things we see in rick in the beginning, before his experiences change how he reacts to the world.

yes, both shane and spencer have made questionable decisions, and i’m in no way sweeping those under the rug ( shane’s treatment of lori for example was gross ), but rick is equally as guilty ( that whole fight with pete and the ensuing speech, anyone? ). each have their own reasons for acting how they did; shane had to watch his best friend come back from the dead and have what scraps of normality he’d created from the wreckage of the world taken from him; spencer had to watch every. single. family. member. die. in front of him, with all signs pointing back to rick and his group as the cause; and rick — well we all know what he’s been through. i could list a dozen more reasons for shane and spencer’s actions but that’s another meta for another time. 

TL;DR: stop judging shane and spencer for traits found in rick throughout the seasons. stop assuming their motivations are entirely unfounded and are simply random traits assigned by the writers. actually try and understand how they’ve got to that position, and look past the bias forced upon us by the show’s natural narrative. #stophatingonshanewalshandspencermonroe2k17

[gutspilt]

PRETTY  BOY,  this world  was  not  made  for  you  .  tell  them how  you  were  hungry  ,  how you  went  night   after  grievous  night  starving  &  how  you  took  your  toys  outside to  play  &  ventured  into  the  wolves  den (  WATCH OUT,  THEY  BITE! )  .  how  you  returned  doused in  your  own gore  :  shameful  &   alone  ,  kicking  &  screaming for  the  pain to  cease  .  TELL  THEM  of how  your  innocence   peaked  .  how  you  entered  that ill  -  omened  den  a  boy  &  returned  a  man  .  how   the  remedy  of  a  loving  mother’s  kisses  salvaged  something   of  a  rebuttal  .  they  did  not  end  the  pain  .  tell  them  how  YOU  ONCE   DID  LOVE  THE   WORLD  &   how   the   world   hollowed   you   out   in   return   .

PRETTY  BOY,  they   called  you  spencer .  you  are  a  mane  of  chocolate   tresses  ,  habitually  falling  into  your  equally  brown  oculars  .  you  are   a  skeleton  with   an  altitude  of unusual  standards  :   the  sinewy  brawn  of  none  other  .  you’re  the  smell  of  fresh  rain  ,  the  glisten  of  the  sun  in  winter  ,  fireworks   &   annealed  steel  .   YOU’RE  A  NONPAREIL,  A  GUARDIAN  .  you  were  fated  to  be  something  prodigious  ,  BREATH TAKING .  it  was  evident  the  moment   your  mother  took  you  into  her  arms  for  the  first  time  .  my  little  spencer  .  why  did  you  let  the   wolves  win  ,  spencer  ?  why  did  you  let  them  strip  you  of  everything  you  stood  for  ?  your  skin  ,  your  flesh ,  your  bones  .   why  …  you  were destined  for  something great  .  you  were  destined  for  something  great  .   you  were  destined  for  something  great .  YOU  WERE  DESTINED  FOR  SOMETHING   ————————        

                                      selective  blog  for  spencer  monroe  of amc’s  the  walking dead  .                                                     penned  by  harmony  since  the  7 .  12  . 15  .

[tolead]

@hclywcrs continued from ( x )

          GHOSTS were no longer content to plague his sleep, the one standing ahead working its way into his waking hours; at first he had thought him to be a manifestation of his GUILT at their parting, another breakdown designed to test his sanity upon arrival at what was promised to be a utopia in the world’s wasteland. 

          but SHANE WALSH was no spirit, nor were his words soft in their deliverance. knuckle grazes the corner of one eye before shoulders square in resolute determination not to betray weakness, gaze hardened by all he had witnessed since his once-brother-in-arm’s departure. ❛ the place we were in got overrun. carl n’ lori got split up from the rest of us, and she died giving birth to judy. ❜  

          a pause, an infinitesimal crack in the facade that hints back to sweltering days of shared companionship in a squad car with broken a/c, when TRUST allowed a freedom of speech unencumbered by all that had happened since. ❛                     carl had t’ put her down. ❜

[tolead]

‘ is your foot alright ? ‘

                    ROGUE ONE MEME | ACCEPTING.

          a MISJUDGEMENT in step was all it took for ankle to roll awkwardly, curse torn from between clenched teeth as weight re-adjusts, pain flaring in angry response. snarls echo close by, a sickening symphony of the undead that spurs racing heart onwards, perspiration STINGING eyes as it drips from sodden curls.

          ❛ s’fine              ❜  words bitten off, a glance back only CONFIRMS his suspicion, shuffling bodies littering the horizon in an unbroken line gaining by the second. one hand steadies around hatchet handle & the other pushes lightly at jane’s back, prompting her movement as well as his own ungainly hobble, mind wilfully ignorant of the sharpness to each other footfall, ❛               we need t’move. ❜

[tolead]

spencer voice: lowkey........ LOWKEY...... lowkey highkey ur not so bad old man lets hug it out bro

          tell me how many more bottles of liquor u’ve got hidden away and i might consider it

[tolead]

‘ i find that answer vague and unconvincing. ‘ (from glenn)

                   ROGUE ONE MEME | ACCEPTING.

          click of the tongue accompanies the small shrug of shoulders, face impassive in the wake of glenn’s disbelief,  ❛ that’s a shame, ‘cause it’s the only one y’getting. ❜  little did he know rick’s stalling was purposeful, a ploy to distract from enid & maggie’s master plan to SURPRISE the man in front with a home cooked meal thanks to a successful run earlier that day — the brief hint of normality enough to make his heart lighten, if only for a moment.

[chandlerriggsworld-blog]

Chandler Riggs on #WSCLondon

[tolead]

gutspilt:

 turbulent  emotions  swirled  a  ruckus  within  skeletal  fortifications,  lissome  right  digits  curling  into  a  fist  against  his  lazed  lap  in  a  certain  displeasure  to  be  in  the  company  of  an  antagonistic  associate:  the  aforementioned  monarch  of  alexandria  that  spencer  had  grown  so  hateful  of  in  their  condemned  hours.  his  left  arm  drowsed  across  the  window-sill  of  the  thrumming  vehicle,  allowing  a  rest  for  spencer’s  dreary  head.  in  his  quietude,  spencer  yearned  for  this  perverse  encounter  to  promptly  end  &  they  could  both  return  to  a  welcoming  home.

 alas,  his  pleas  go  unheard.  reluctantly,  his  companion  instead  parts  his  lips  in  a  strive  to  speak  &  he  knows  discomfort  is  somewhat  inbound.  a  unsuccessful  speech  to  break  the  pent-up  ice  of  their  strained  relationship.  perhaps,  if  rick  hadn’t  acknowledged  their  situation,  it  would  be  all  the  more  unbearable.  &  when  the  car  halts,  so  does  his  ability  to  gauge  a  correct  response.  spencer’s  nervous,  inarticulate,  defensive.  when  he’d  stated  opinions  in  the  past,  rick  had  always  reacted  with  malevolence.  they  exchange  a  lingering  glance,  brows  knitting  in  a  bewildered  mannerism.

                      ‘   i  think  we’ve  already  said  enough.   ’  he  answered,  after  running  his  tongue  across  his  lower  lip  in  anticipation.   ‘   differences  aside,  i’m  not  gonna  let  you  die  if  worst  comes  to  worst.  alexandria  needs  a  leader  &  people  seem  to  look  up  to  you.   ’

          he recalls their last ALTERCATION, one born of a need to reassert what fragile dominance he had after his humiliation at the hands of negan. olivia’s life had hung on a delicate wire & all because of the man sat beside; anger had spilt forth then, cold vitriol lacing a threat that seemed trivial in the light of a new day. while not willing to FORGIVE, an effort had to be made — else they would fracture back into the same ‘us vs. them’ mentality that plagued alexandria’s beginnings, in a time when nothing was more important than working as one.

          scoff proceeds spencer’s words, ghost of mirthless laughter pushed forth from between lips that curl upwards in a mockery of amusement.  ❛ but you don’t. ❜ a STATEMENT, not a question. eyes scrutinise the gaze opposite, allowing a moments silence to pass between them — confrontation was never easy, but the world that granted the bypassing of opinions to APPEASE was long dead.

          (  he had been like spencer once, possessing a resolute sheriff’s effort to KEEP THE PEACE no matter the inner turmoil. that rick is a stranger now, buried along with the man he had once called BROTHER who had learnt the ways of this new world before he’d even taken his first step.  )

          ❛                  y’ think you can do better ? ❜

[forcewith]

ROGUE ONE: A STAR WARS STORY SENTENCE MEME

possible spoilers.

‘ whatever i do, i do it to protect you. ‘

‘ you’re confusing peace with terror. ‘

‘ have to start somewhere. ‘

‘ you will never win. ‘

‘ come. we have a long ride ahead of us. ‘

‘ is that ___ ? he/she/they look a little different than i imagined.’

‘ what part of ‘urgent message’ do you guys not understand ? ‘

‘ you want to get out of here ? ‘

‘ congratulations. you are being rescued. ‘

‘ i like to think he/she’s/they’re dead. it makes things easier. ‘

‘ i’ve never had the luxury of political opinions. ‘

‘ what we need is someone who can get us through the door without being killed. ‘

‘ that is a bad idea. i think so, and so does ___. ‘

‘ you find him/her/them, you kill him/her/them. then and there. ‘

‘ why does he/she/they get a ___ and i don’t ? ‘

‘ i find that answer vague and unconvincing. ‘

‘ trust goes both ways. ‘

‘ i will not fail. ‘

‘ yes, i’m speaking to you. ‘

‘ for that answer, you must pay. ‘

‘ we’re not here to make friends. ‘

‘ tell me you have a back-up plan. ‘

‘ there are a lot of explosions for two people blending in. ‘

‘ quiet ! ‘

‘ and there’s a fresh one if you mouth off again. ‘

‘ let them pass in peace. ‘

‘ is your foot alright ? ‘

‘ you almost shot me ! ‘

‘ there is more than one sort of prison, ___. i sense you carry yours wherever you go. ‘

‘ not a day goes by where i don’t think of you. ‘

‘ did they send you – ? did you come here to kill me ? ‘

‘ all it’s ever brought me is pain. ‘

‘ i will run no longer, but you must save yourself. ‘

‘ it’s beautiful. ‘

‘ i’m not very optimistic about our odds. ‘

‘ i believe i owe you an apology, ___. your work exceeds all expectations. ‘

‘ we stand here amidst my achievement, not yours ! ‘

‘ does he/she/they look like a killer ? ‘

‘i don’t need luck, i have you. ‘

‘ i have so much to tell you. ‘

‘ you lied to me. ‘

‘ you’re in shock. ‘

‘ you’re in shock, and looking for someplace to put it. i’ve seen it before.’

‘ i had every chance to pull the trigger. but did i ? ‘

‘ i had orders. orders that i disobeyed. but you wouldn’t understand that. ‘

‘ we don’t all have the luxury of deciding when we want to care about something. ‘

‘ you’re not the only one who lost everything. some of us just decided to do something about it. ‘

‘ be careful not to choke on your aspirations, ___. ‘

‘ what chance do we have ? the question is, what choice ? ‘

‘ the time to fight is now. ‘

‘ every time i walked away from something i wanted to forget, i told myself it was for a cause i believed in. ‘

‘ i couldn’t face myself if i gave up now. ‘

‘ ___, i’ll be there for you. ‘

‘ ___ said i had to. ‘

‘ not used to people sticking around when things go bad. ‘

‘ welcome home. ‘

‘ one fighter with a sharp stick and nothing left to lose can take the day. ‘

‘ make ten men feel like a hundred. ‘

‘ good luck, little sister/brother. ‘

‘ i’ve got a bad feeling about this – ‘

‘ light it up. ‘

‘ why does nobody ever tell me anything, ___ ? ‘

‘ here. you wanted one, right ? ‘

‘ your behavior, ___, is continually unexpected. ‘

‘ ___ ! come back ! please ! ‘

‘ ___, don’t go. don’t go. i’m here. i’m here. ‘

‘ it’s okay. it’s okay. ‘

‘ this is for you, ___. ‘

‘ do you think anybody’s listening ? ‘

‘ you may fire when ready. ‘

‘ ___ would have been proud of you. ‘

[tolead]

would’ya look who it is

[tolead]

           ❛ you ever hear the one about the guy who brought a baseball bat to a gun fight          FUCKER? ❜  

                                                                             ( prev. deadwclking )