Because Silence Screams The Truth

20. Girl. Trying to stay positive, but sometimes the demons win. Crohn's disease. Nature. This is one of my ways to deal with life.

[tonguetiedconfessions]

You’ve seen me naked a hundred times But never quite at all It took years and years and years Before you saw my naked soul I used to keep it all to myself Thinking this was strong I used to stretch my breaking point Until I couldn’t bend no more My pieces fell as autumn rain Drizzling on your face Instead of wiping them away You held on to them with grace No one could have saved me But you gave me the strength Everyone could have walked away Only you decided to stay

Only you showed me what love means.

[tonguetiedconfessions]

You walk over her With your muddy shoes While she is the only one left Trying to support you You treat her like air While she is trying so hard Not to breathe too loud You blame her for all your pain While she is always busy Picking up your pieces You reach rock bottom So you stand on her shoulders to get up And instead of thanking her You drop her like your dignity You will never change your selfish self While she keeps losing parts of her That you made your home

She is a diamond but all you care about is alcohol.

[tonguetiedconfessions]

You are a closed book And I cut myself over and over Trying to turn your pages So I leave you on the kitchen table And open all my windows Hoping the wind will blow your covers

Delicately waiting until you let me in.

[tonguetiedconfessions]

Be careful with your words They might slip through your fingers And break into pieces Right in the palm of my hands And maybe I misunderstand them Or maybe you said something In the heat of the moment When you were broken And your mind was falling Over the wrong letters And those words plant an idea In the back of my mind Like a silent voice Reminding me that I once felt sad about this time And maybe one day We are both sorry But we won't have any words left to say And that one day will grow out of the words you say today...

The saddest word is no word at all.

[tonguetiedconfessions]

The raindrops fall down with grace And I know This won’t be the last time This hurt will not leave me alone Yet As I try to forget As I try to rest I try to remember your face In deepest detail And it calms me somehow I should have never let you go

And I promise I never will.

[tonguetiedconfessions]

I remember when I was four years old I used to wait upstairs watching the door until you came home from work. Only then I could sleep safe and sound. My hero was safe. I remember when I was five years old and grandpa died. The first time I ever saw you cry (not the last). I remember when I was eight and you would say all these weird things. That I would turn out just like you. It made me cry. I remember being ten and you were so angry but I didn’t understand. You kicked the closet so hard our family picture fell off. It was broken. I remember being fourteen and your alcoholism reached a new high. You turned all of us against you and you spit fire. No one was good enough. Especially not yourself. I will never forget this day. I remember the constant oscillation between trying to trust you and getting disappointed over and over again. I remember being afraid of you when I was little I remember being furious with you when I was a teenager Now I’m just indifferent And I don’t know which is worse.

You don’t remember at all. 

[tonguetiedconfessions]

New Year’s Eve. You leave town because you don’t know where your heart is anymore. You lost yourself on this road of life. The lights are out but your shadow is there to guide you. The ocean calls out your name and you end up in a small bar. There you discover a new friend. You become so close you can smell her saltiness. Her golden hair and smoky eyes take you back to the good old times. You can’t remember how long it’s been since you’ve had a connection this deep. You taste her until you can’t taste no more as you wish this night would never end.

Her name is Whiskey.

[tonguetiedconfessions]

Breath in Try not to cry Not this time Breath out Everything will be alright Just not right now Breath in The world is at your feet Just one step at a time Breath out And try to let go Just a little bit

Bite your tongue if you must.

[tonguetiedconfessions]

You talk like a hero. But the only one you try to save is yourself.

No hero without a heart.

[sarahmariepardy-deactivated2018]

2016 Poetry Blog Train

Every once in a while it’s good to start a new blog train because a lot of accounts tend to go inactive or deactivate and we gotta stay up to date!  If you’re a poetry blog or a blog that reblogs/posts a lot of poetry, like & reblog this post so that others can find you and the work that you share! 

[tonguetiedconfessions]

She is the glue Pulling me back together When I once again fall apart She is my number one person Always ready to help Even without questions asked And I wonder How it is possible to be so kind To be so willing and so giving To be so honest and forgiving She is smart and above that Wise She is out of this world Yet so down to earth Both her feet are on the ground As she lives for others And forgets herself I want to give her so much in return And deep in my heart I hope I am good enough

Happy birthday mom.

[tonguetiedconfessions]

How to feel empty Worthless How to be less alive Or not at all To cry myself to sleep While smiling to the world To bite my tongue until it bleeds How heartbreak feels How alcohol is toxic And changes who you are That one should let go of the past in order to be happy now How to drive To criticize (myself)

Thank you for teaching me.

[tonguetiedconfessions]

I wish there was a manual On how to handle life On how to do the right thing To make the right choice How are we supposed to know The weight of our behavior I wish I could enjoy Every given day From sunrise until sunset Without worrying and spilling time I wish there was a way To let things go with ease To stop making excuses To stop blaming someone else I wish I could be a swallow On the first day of spring To enjoy the warmth of the sun And to spread my own wings

I wish I wish I wish.

[tonguetiedconfessions]

Twinkling lights Around us now Christmas time Is starting so Let’s toast To the lucky ones With warmth in their hearts Let’s toast to the healthy minds That have no fear of the dark Let’s have another drink Until we fall down our chairs And let us laugh until we pee And let us define insanity

Enjoying the holidays.

[tonguetiedconfessions]

In my heart There is a voice Telling me secrets of this world The wonders and the mystery The beauty in the little things And everything makes sense In my head There is a shadow A grey cloud fogging the view The world is nothing but empty space Every day nothing new My heart is strong A lion’s roar Yet my mind loves to play Though the game is never fair And lions sleep all day

Heart vs. mind.

[tonguetiedconfessions]

You are a villain Stabbing others with your sword Of darkness You betray the ones you love With ease and it’s unpleasing to see The harm you bring to our hearts I will never understand The way your wicked mind twists But I will stand my ground And make you kneel So you are incapable of hurting me

Thou shalt not steal freedom.

[tonguetiedconfessions]

You are the earth in my galaxy You give me life so I can breathe There's nothing that can take away my love for you Even in the darkest storm Our love will shine through I'm never letting go of you again Simply because I can't Your eyes draw me back to you Like the moon and the tide Let me be your dark horse And I'll let you be my knight

I am so lucky to have you.